


Boy You Got Me Helpless

by Lezbean_musical_addict



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Amputee alexander hamilton, Angelica Schuyler is a badass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Burr is Here For Like Two Seconds, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Main Story Takes Place 15 Years After Their Military Service, Marliza is the purest thing ever, Modern Era, Mom Friend Hercules Mulligan, Mutual Pining, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Author Regrets Nothing, Veterans, almost everyone is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 154,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25723765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lezbean_musical_addict/pseuds/Lezbean_musical_addict
Summary: “Alex isn’t dead, John, you’ll see him again, I promise. He’s not gone forever.” Angelica told John, she only hoped she was right.When Alexander Hamilton  risked his life for his friends he only had a couple different possible ideas in mind as to how it could end, and this was certainly not one of those ideas
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, George Washington/Martha Washington, Hercules Mulligan/Elizabeth Sanders Mulligan, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Comments: 115
Kudos: 118





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Night At The Ballet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113525) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, a couple of things about the story in general.
> 
> First off, as the notes indicate, this work was inspired by A Night At The Ballet by westcoastatlanta, and I will admit, my story does share a lot of similarities to their story, however I've spoken with them about it and I've gotten their permission to go ahead with posting this. I originally read their story a long time ago, began writing this, and then remembered their story half way through writing it, and upon rereading it, noticed quite a few similarities, I do not mean to copy their work in anyway, however, I can see why it might appear that way. I would like to think that my story is very different and any and all similarities to A Night At The Ballet are purely coincidental.
> 
> Secondly, a huge TW for this story, this story depicts military service (which involves gun-violence mentions, and bombings), panic attacks, illness, alcoholism, minor character death, and discusses depression and PTSD. If any of this could be triggering I urge you to exercise caution reading the story. I'll always put specific trigger warnings for each chapter. If you ever find yourself wanting to read a chapter, but feeling apprehensive because of a trigger warning, leave a comment on the chapter and I'll be happy to find a way to help you read the chapter while staying safe.
> 
> Third, I have completed writing the story, that's why I know how many chapters there will be, so please give some time to allow me to thoroughly edit each chapter before posting, however if I'm taking longer than a week to post a chapter (which I'm seriously hoping won't be the case) comment and remind me to post!
> 
> Next, I'm not American and American politics are very confusing for those trying to teach themselves everything off the internet, so somethings may be inaccurate with political positions and stuff, but I'm trying by best here and if everything was accurate I would probably confuse my international readers so let's just do with that what we do with other details we don't like of this fandom and sweep it under the rug, please and thank you :)
> 
> Lastly if you notice any grammatical errors in any chapter or something looks off, feel free to give me a polite heads up in the comments. I am editing my own work which isn't always the easiest to do and I am not perfect so there probably will be small mistakes
> 
> Now for chapter specific notes:
> 
> This chapter is a prologue to the rest of the story, as a result is a lot longer than the rest of the story. I estimate most chapters will be about a third of the length of this, so, please be nice when I post the first chapter and it's significantly shorter than this one here!
> 
> The events of this chapter are set in 2005.
> 
> TW: Mentions/talk of gun violence, bombings, injury, minor character death, blood

Alexander Hamilton got into the barracks and looked around, there were a couple empty cots left, but all of them were in between other taken ones. The barracks was really more of a large tent, just strong enough to survive the elements, but in no way a permanent structure. These barracks were for the lower ranking soldiers, while higher ranking officers had smaller tents with far fewer people, and some really high ranking officers had small buildings, the size of a garden shed or so, made out of plywood.

Alexander frowned a bit at the bed situation. He took a moment and studied the state of cleanliness and the people around each of the potential beds. 

Eventually he chose one in the corner, where three people were standing around and talking. They looked a little intimidating but the area was neat and tidy, and he swore that he heard one of them speaking in a french accent which could be a positive thing seeing as he spoke French as well as English and Spanish. 

He went and set his duffle bag and rucksack on the bed, then pulled off his beret and his jacket, so he was in his camo pants and a brownish grey t-shirt, with his combat boots on and his dog tags visible. Part of him was terrified of being in an active war zone, but another part of him knew that being here would either help advance his future significantly- by paying his student loan debts and covering the rest of his education-, or ensure there was no future to worry about at all.

He ran his hand through his jet black hair, or what was left of it, guys that had been here for a while had slightly longer hair, but being freshly deployed, his hair had been buzzed off before he was shipped out to Iraq. 

He set up his bed a little and was seeming a little lost when he finished, but then someone came over to him and began to talk to him. “You must be one of the new recruits.” A guy a couple inches taller than him, probably about 5’9, with dark curly hair, chocolate brown eyes that seemed happy on the surface but perhaps hid something deeper, freckles, and skin a shade or two darker than Alex’s light olive-undertone skin spoke to him. Alex also took note that even though he looked Puerto Rican, he had a southern accent.

Alex quickly looked at the guy's uniform, trying to tell if he was highly ranked enough to have to introduce himself properly or speak a certain way, but he was dressed similarly to Alex, so he couldn’t tell. “Uh, yes I am, sir.” He added the ‘sir’ at the end just in case the man was high ranking enough for it to be necessary.

“Whoa no need for that. I’m only a sergeant, you’re okay, I’m guessing you're a corporal? I’m John Laurens.” He offered a hand.

“Corporal, yeah. Alexander Hamilton.” Alex shook John’s hand.

“Nice to meet you. Welcome to Iraq.” John chuckled a bit.

Alex chuckled too, but his chuckle was more nervous than John’s sarcastic one. “I hope you don’t mind that I chose this bed. I’m assuming one of these is yours. It seemed like the tidiest area of all the empty ones.” He explained.

“Yeah dude, no problem. Me and Lafayette over there keep things relatively tidy because we may have had our beds ripped apart one too many times.” He chuckled and pointed to one of the other guys. He was taller than Alex, John, and the other guy, probably about 6’2 and he was the one with the French accent. He had thick, black, African hair, skin somewhere in the almond ballpark of the skin tone spectrum, eyes darker brown than John’s but with a friendliness to them and a neatly kept cheek and chin beard and an accompanying soul patch.

Alex shuddered. “Basic flashbacks.” He chuckled, recalling how brutal basic-training could be. All it took was a toothpaste tube left squeezed the wrong way and you’d get your bed flipped and your bag dumped on the ground and you’d have to start over.

John nodded. “Anyway but yeah that’s Lafayette or Laf, and then Hercules Mulligan is the football player looking guy, he’s older and higher up, so he sleeps elsewhere, he’s a good friend though so you’ll see him around a lot.” Alex looked at Hercules, who in addition to truly having the build of a football player, with broad shoulders and height of 6 feet, was also black but far darker than Lafayette, and had a short afro going with a goatee as well. His eyes were dark like Lafayette’s yet were warm and kind.

Alex nodded. He noticed that technically Lafayette and Hercules’ facial hair wasn’t up to regulation however he figured that rules like that weren’t followed as closely in active war zones, so they probably just had to keep things fairly neat.

“Want me to introduce you?” John offered.

“Sure.” Alex smiled a bit.

“Laf, Hercules, come over here. This is one of the new recruits, Corporal Alexander Hamilton.”

“Bonjour it is very nice to meet you. I’m Lafayette, a corporal just like you.” He waved.

“And I’m Hercules Mulligan, I’m a captain. Nice to meet you. And don’t worry about the proper introduction crap with me just cause I’m higher up. I really couldn’t care less.”

“Alright. It’s nice to meet you both.” Alex smiled a bit then checked the time. “I’m supposed to be checking in with the Colonel soon but I honestly have no idea where his office is.” Alex admitted. “He’s supposed to be addressing all the new recruits outside his office.” He explained.

“I can take you.” John offered.

“Thanks.” Alex said. He pulled his jacket back on and his beret and made sure everything was up to standard.

“Ready?” John asked.

Alex nodded. “So how long have you been here?” He asked as John led him away from the barracks.

“6 months. This is my second tour though. I was here for a year. I went home for a couple months and now I’m back. I have the chance to opt out in 3 months but I’m probably sticking around for the last 3.”

Alex nodded. “I guess that means there’s no wife waiting for you at home?”

John chuckled. “Definitely not.”

Alex squinted a bit. “No like, husband waiting?” He tried.

John fell silent for a moment. “No.” He said. “What about you?”

“Nope. No one. I joined up because it would speed up the naturalization process and pay for my university tuition.”

“Ah. So where are you from then?”

“The Caribbean. What about you? I mean, you’ve got the southern accent, but you’ve got the Puerto Rican look to you too.”

“South Carolina. My mom was born and raised in Puerto Rico though.” John explained.

“Makes sense. My mum was Puerto Rican too, we lived in Nevis and then St Croix though. My father was Scottish.” He explained. “So Lafayette, he’s from France I’m guessing?”

“Yep. Well originally. He moved to the states when he was 16, finished up his education and then decided to join up, he’s 22, I’m 23. Hercules on the other hand is an old man.” John chuckled.

“Yo, I’m kinda doing the same thing as Laf, same age as him and everything, not finished my education though. How old is Hercules?” Alex asked.

“Turning 31 in a couple months. He’s like, the mom friend of our group.”

Alex nodded a bit.

“Well, here you are Ham. I’ll see you back at the barracks. Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Alex smiled a bit.

Alex and the other new recruits were addressed by Washington, who did not look anything like what Alex expected. He knew Washington would be older, but for some reason, him looking to be in his mid-forties surprised Alex, he was probably expecting someone a bit older if he was honest, but it did make sense. It made him happy to see that the Colonel was a person of color too, with skin lighter than Lafayette’s but definitely still black. He was bald, probably by choice, tall about 6’0 or so, his eyes were very dark brown, calculating, but not necessarily cold and his body language and how he carried himself commanded respect.

At the end of his speech, the colonel asked Hamilton to stay back, and sent everyone else away. Alex stood at attention and waited for Washington to address him.

“At ease Hamilton.” Washington said as he walked towards Alex.

Alex breathed a small sigh of relief as he let his arm fall and meet the other behind his back and shifted his feet into the wider stance. “Colonel Washington, may I ask what this is about, sir?”

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry. I wanted to say that I am excited to have you here, and am eager to see what you’ll do. Your basic training instructors were very impressed with you. You broke several records made by men raised in military-families with body types typically better for the task. I wanted to ask how you managed to do so well.”

“Determination, sir.”

Washington nodded a bit. “I saw you walking with Sergeant Laurens earlier.”

“Yes, he showed me where to go. I’m in the same barrack as him, and I met him and Corporal Lafayette, and Captain Mulligan.”

“They’re a good group of people, as well as sergeant Schuyler, who's not touring at the moment, you should stick with them. Mulligan has been in the game a long time, he knows what he’s doing. Laurens is a bit of a genius and is passionate about his work, and Lafayette is as determined as you. He moved to America without knowing a lick of English because he wanted to go to an American college and join our military. They’re good people.”

“Thank you for the advice sir.”

“You can go now, corporal Hamilton. I just wanted you to know that I expect to see good things from you.”

“Thank you sir.” Alex said. He saluted Washington and headed back to the barracks.

“So how was it? What took you so long getting back?” John asked, taking note that most of the other new recruits got back about five minutes ago. John was sitting on the floor leaning against Alex’s bed, Lafayette was laying on his stomach on what was either his or John’s bed, propped up by his elbows, and Hercules was sitting on the foot of the bed, and they were playing some sort of card game, with a small makeshift table that seemed to be a wooden crate flipped on it’s side.

“Oh, it was good. Washington wanted to tell me he heard good things and expected a lot from me after addressing everyone.” Alex explained as he pulled his beret and jacket off again.

“He pulled you aside to compliment you?” Hercules asked, looking up from his cards at Alex, seeming surprised.

Alex nodded a bit. “Is that a bad thing? I mean, he was like, complimenting me, is it like, a joke?”

“No, no it’s a really good thing actually. I mean, the colonel took time to tell you he was impressed with you, that’s a big deal, the fact that he singled you out from a group of probably 50 new recruits, and took time to complement you. I mean, he’s a crazy busy guy, he’s in charge of about 3000 soldiers, and he took time from his busy day to pay you a compliment.” John explained setting his cards down on the table face down.

Alex nodded, mostly to himself. “He spoke very highly of you all.”

“Oui, he kind of loves us.” Lafayette chuckled.

“He told me I should stick with you guys. I’d like to be your friend, if you’ll have me.” Alex bit his lip.

“You seem cool.” John said, nodding a bit.

“Yeah, but are you?” Hercules asked, sounding a little harsh to say the least.

“Ignore him. He simply wonders if you have similar ideals to us, there are, unfortunately, a lot of men around here who have some very poor ideals. Hercules is simply tired of people trying to make friends and then spewing caca.” Lafayette explained as he set his cards down as well and sat up on the bed.

Alex nodded a bit. “Ask me anything you want. I’ve got nothing to hide.” Alex told them, even though it might not necessarily have been true. He sat down on the foot of his bed.

“Alright, well obviously you are pro-military enough to join up, but what motivated you to join up yourself and go for active duty?” Hercules asked, setting his cards down also.

“Well I’m from the Caribbean, I have a green card and work permit and stuff, but if I serve then I get to fast track the citizenship process. And I’ll get my tuition for university covered.” Alex explained, nervously wringing his hands a bit, but maintaining an acceptable amount of eye contact.

“So I’m guessing it’s safe to assume that you’re pro-immigration.” Hercules nodded mostly to himself.

Alex nodded. “I mean yeah, with the right background checks. Not anyone can come in, but, a speeding ticket shouldn’t keep you out or get you kicked out.”

“Well said Hamilton.” John complimented, smiling.

“I would hope it’s safe to assume your anti-racism.” Hercules chuckled, cracking a joke over the fact that they were all people of color.

“Pro-immigration, anti-racism, anti-xenophobia, pro-democracy, pro-lgbtq, pro-choice, guns is tricky, uh I’m typically a centrist with a left lean.” Alex rattled off.

“What centralizes you?” John asked curiously.

“How I feel about guns and property or business laws, plus I disagree with some of the modern minority-rights movements.” Alex said. He looked at their faces, which were giving him apprehensive looks. “Okay, with guns, it’s fine to have them, but we need background checks, no one needs the type of weapons we’re using here, and there should be limits but if you want a gun and you’re mentally stable and not gonna use it to shoot up a school or a concert or a movie theater, or a nightclub, then have one.” Alex explained.

Hercules nodded a bit. “Go on.”

“I don’t really like how the lgbtq community is filled with in-fighting, it makes us-” Alex stopped immediately after saying it. “Them,” he quickly recovered. “Look foolish to those who don’t like them, makes it less likely that they’ll get respect, or rights any time soon.”

“That is fair.” Lafayette nodded.

“Yeah I can live with that.” Hercules added.

“Well said Hamilton.” John teased a bit.

“Do not worry about outing yourself to a group of strangers. We are a group of queer strangers.” Lafayette told Alex.

“Oh thank god.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Yeah you’re good, Herc will fuck anything that moves,” John teased making Hercules roll his eyes. “Lafayette flirts with every man and woman he meets, even obviously straight dudes, and I’m about as straight as a circle. Full homo.” John explained.

“Cool. I’m bi.” Alex said.

“Bi immigrant buds.” Lafayette grinned at him.

Alex smiled back, he definitely was gonna fit in well with these guys.

Alex made fast friends with Hercules, John, and Lafayette. He learned that Hercules had been in the military for over a decade, joining when he was just 19. John joined 4 years ago, taking a break from his university studies to simultaneously please and get away from his father, and Lafayette was just, passionate about protecting rights and freedoms and was eager to serve.

Alex seemed happy with the friends he made and it made his first couple of weeks in Iraq much easier. He was adjusting well, and his friends definitely helped. He liked them all, but he found himself most drawn to John, probably because he couldn’t help but find the fellow Puerto rican hot. Alex couldn’t help but watch John as he worked out every morning before anyone else was awake.

Alex noticed though that every now and then John would get sad, like not say a word, barely eat, blankly stare for hours; sad. Alex wanted to ask about it but it never felt right to do so when he was sad, and when John wasn’t Alexander didn’t want to bring it up. He let it go, thinking it was probably something to do with John’s tour and let it rest.

About a month after Alex arrived, his friends got really excited when they heard that there was a group of soldiers coming to join them and were set to arrive later that day.

“So why are y’all so excited?” Alex asked, they were again playing cards, with Alex and John sitting on Alex’s bed, and Hercules and Lafayette on Lafayette’s bed which was right next to Alex’s.

“Our friend, Angelica is coming. She’s been off duty but she’s starting a new tour and from the sounds of it she’ll be coming in with today’s group. She’s a Sergeant like John. She’s crazy bad-ass and hella fun to be around.” Hercules explained as he set a card down on the table as part of the game. It was a sort of improvised Uno, but with less rules and two decks of regular cards instead of actual uno cards.

Alex nodded a bit. “How old is she? Usually it takes women longer to climb up the ranks.” Alex observed as he quickly put a card on top of Hercules’.

“She’s 24. Joined at the same time as me. I’ve been friends with her family for a long time.” John told him, adding a couple cards back-to-back on top of Alex’s.

“Impressive.” Alex nodded and watched what cards John put down on the table.

“Wait until you actually meet her.” Hercules chuckled a bit.

Soon the card game was abandoned and the last cot in the crew’s little corner was taken by Angelica Schuyler. Angelica had caught Alex’s eye almost as soon as she entered the barracks. Her skin was a shade or two darker than Lafayette’s, but he wondered if she wasn’t mixed race because while her hair was black in color, it’s texture was more like Caucasian hair. She was taller than Alex probably about 5'7 and she probably could physically compete with John based on how muscular her arms were. Her eyes were brown like everyone else’s but not quite as dark as Lafayette’s or as light as John’s and there was an obvious fire and passion in them which immediately drew Alex towards her.

When John noticed her enter the barracks he had dropped his cards and sprinted towards her, throwing himself at her and hugging her tightly.

Angelica easily took the force of John throwing himself at her and hugged back just as tightly. If Alex didn’t know John was 100% gay he would think they were dating and even then, he still wondered for a moment if there wasn’t something there.

Everyone else greeted her and hugged her as she came over to their little corner, while Alex awkwardly hung around in the back of their group.

“So you must be the new member of our little crew. Hamilton, right?” She asked Alex.

“Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you, everyone speaks quite highly of you.” He offered his hand for a hand shake.

She seemed to go to shake it normally, but grabbed his hand and upper arm as well, and flipped him over, he landed hard on his back on the floor. “God I love new recruits.” She chuckled.

“Angie if you keep up with that trick someone will report you for violence or assault.” John warned with a chuckle.

“He’s fine. Washington was telling me about how he did in basic. I wondered if he would catch it in time and not land on his ass.” Angelica explained as she pulled her beret and jacket off.

“Has anyone ever caught it in time?” Hercules asked, crossing his arms, he was perhaps the only one in their group that she hadn’t tried it on, because he was a freaking giant and no matter how much Angelica could want to try, there was simply no way it was ever gonna happen, not to mention that he had been a captain since before she was even a corporal so it wouldn’t be wise to try.

Alex got up off the ground and brushed himself off. “Not gonna lie, that was kinda hot.” He admitted to Angelica.

Alex and Angelica really hit it off from there, they shared similar ideals and what they didn’t agree on, they were able to have respectful, well thought out debates that usually lead to one of them opening the other’s mind, as debates should go. It was nothing against the guys, but Alex felt like Angelica truly matched his level of intelligence and wit, like they were on the exact same level. As a result, he couldn’t help but find Angelica hotter, looks were always nice, but for Alex, there were very few things sexier than a mind at work.

Alex continued to get closer with everyone, and he still thought John was cute, but Angelica’s mind blew him away almost constantly and he was torn between the two. One night Hercules was doing stuff with other higher ups and John was sad again, so Lafayette was comforting him. This left Alex and Angelica to spend the evening together. They were in the barracks, talking and playing a different card game when suddenly, and thankfully not many people were around to see it, talking turned to making out, and next thing Alex knew, Angelica was dragging him to the showers to hook up.

After their special shower together, they went back to the barracks. “This doesn’t have to mean anything, right?” Alex asked as he sat back down on his bed and began picking up cards that had ended up on the bed and the floor.

“Oh god no. Don’t get me wrong, I love your mind, and you’re a pretty good fuck, but I don’t do strings. I am 110% 1 no strings attached person. Besides, I see how you look at Laurens, and how he looks at you.” Angelica explained as she began picking up cards as well.

Alex nodded in understanding with the no strings part. “What, what do you mean, look at Laurens?” Alex asked somewhat nervously, stopping picking up cards.

“You look at him like you have the hots for him. And I don’t blame you. I mean, he’s not really my type, not that I’m his either, but, he’s cute enough.” Angelica explained nonchalantly as she continued to pick up cards.

Alex was quiet. “I mean yeah, but like, I dunno I guess.” He started to pick up cards again.

“Why not? He looks at you the same way.” Angelica handed him all the cards she picked up off the ground now that there were only a few left on the bed.

Alex shrugged. “Well first off I didn’t join up to find a boyfriend. Plus there’s the whole thing of like, we’re both in the military, what happens if one of us dies in battle and like destroys the other kinda thing. Plus I think unfortunately a lotta guys in this barrack are homophobic.” Alex explained.

Angelica fell silent.

“What is it?” Alex asked.

“That, kinda already happened to John, the boyfriend dying thing.” Angelica explained, she herself seemed sad at the thought.

“Wait what?” Alex asked, then remembered the first day they met, how John got awkward and Alex asked if he had a husband waiting. “Was, was he liked, married or something? And they died?”

“It’s not my story to tell, but kinda yeah.” Angelica looked down at her lap.

“Is that why he gets so sad sometimes?” Alex asked quietly.

Angelica looked up at Alex and nodded. “Me, Hercules and Lafayette all suspect that he has a bit of PTSD from what happened but he refuses to talk to anyone about it because if anyone reports it, they’ll send him for an evaluation and if he’s diagnosed with PTSD, he'll get discharged.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I’ve wanted to ask but, it doesn’t feel right when he’s sad, but it also doesn’t feel right asking when he’s in a good mood.”

“Well, next time he seems a little low, just go for it, doing it in the evening is better though, he’ll be more likely to talk. I don’t know if it’s just because he’s tired or what but, he won’t talk about things first thing in the morning.” Angelica recommended.

Alex nodded and began shuffling the cards so they could play another game. 

About two weeks later everyone was off doing their own thing while Alex was writing in a journal. John had just returned from the showers and was sort of just laying down on his bed not saying much to anyone or seeking out his friends to do something with them. Alex took this as a sign that he was feeling sad. “Hey John?” He closed his journal but was still holding onto the book so if he opened it again he would be right back at his page.

John looked over. “Yes?”

“Well, I uh, I was wondering if I could ask you about like, why you get sad. Angelica kinda told me a little but, she said it was your story to tell. Don’t feel like you have to, but, I guess I’m just curious.” Alex looked down at his journal.

John nodded a bit. “It’s okay.” He sat up and turned his body to face Alex. “So you wanna hear about my trauma huh?” John chuckled.

Alex chuckled a bit too but nodded. “Yeah.”

“Alright then, get comfy because it’s a bit of a long story.”

Alex set his pencil down and let go of his hold on his book then looked at John to start talking.

John sighed a bit. Seemingly mindlessly he reached into his shirt and pulled out a set of dog tags that obviously weren’t his current ones, because those he always had outside of his shirt. “When me and Angelica first started basic, we met this guy, Mathew. He was in basic training with us. We kinda talked, he was cute, there was some meaningless flirting, but then we drifted apart when basic ended. Then me and Angie came here for our first tour, and Mathew was starting his too. We ended up reconnecting.”

Alex nodded a bit.

“You spend a half year eating, sleeping, shitting, and getting shot at with the same dude, you get close, really close. We started dating. I went home for a week at the 6 month mark on my tour, but was coming back for another 6 months. While I was gone, I bought an engagement ring, and finally gave it to him three months later. We were gonna go home after our tour and get married even though it’s not legal. We were both so excited. God he was ecstatic. Everyone was so happy for us, something good set to come out of something so awful.”

“So what happened?” Alex asked quietly.

“We had two weeks left on our tour. Me and Mathew and some other guys were fighting, in the thick of it. No one saw the shooter until it was too late. Mathew got shot, multiple times. We signaled that we needed help but by the time a medic actually got to us, he was gone. I went from getting married to planning a funeral.” John ran his thumb over the dog tags in this hand. “I was told I might end up blocking out the memory because it was so painful, but it feels like I got the opposite. I remember everything so vividly.”

Alex nodded. “I’m so so sorry, John.” 

“Washington tried to tell me that there was no shame in leaving, that I would get an honorable discharge, but I wasn’t done fighting. So I went home two weeks early. Took some time, and now I’ve been on this tour for 7 months. I lost him just a little over a year ago.”

“I’m really sorry John.” Alex frowned.

“It’s not your fault. I just, get sad sometimes. I really loved him and we were both so young, he was 23, it sucked. I blamed myself for a while. But I’m much better now.”

“That’s completely understandable.” Alex nodded.

“Can we change the subject?” John tucked what Alex was assuming were Mathew’s dog tags back into his shirt.

“Of course.” Alex offered a small smile.

“Alright good because I’m curious, are you and Angie like, a thing? She’s always been all ‘I don’t do relationships’ but you two seem really close.” John asked.

“Well, I mean, we hooked up a couple weeks back but, we’re just friends. She is a no-strings-attached gal.”

“Damn straight.” John chuckled.

Alex let out a content sigh, he liked John’s laugh, his smile, his passion. He liked John, and there was no denying it.

John looked at Alex, he couldn’t deny that feelings were growing, but he couldn’t bring himself to take action on it, not yet, not after Mathew.

4 months went by with both Alex and John pining but nothing came from it. Eventually one night, it all came out. John was laughing and smiling at something Alex said over a game of cards and Alex couldn’t help himself.

“John, can I tell you something?” Alex looked up from his cards.

“Anything.” John nodded looking at Alex.

“I, I like you. A lot. In more than a friend kinda way.”

John fell silent for a moment, before dropping his cards and moving closer to Alex. John cupped Alex’s cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s lips.

Before Alex could react the door to the barracks burst open. “Everyone suit up we have incoming!” The person shouted before running off to repeat the message to another building.

Alex and John looked at each other for a brief moment before quickly getting out of bed and suiting up.

It was the next day, and they were still under attack, everything was a mess and as far as they could tell no one was with their designated units. John, Alex, Angelica, and a few other corporals were taking cover behind one of their vehicles that had been damaged and would no longer be drivable. They weren’t even exactly sure how they’d ended up where they were.

“It’s been nearly an hour with nothing.” Angelica said quietly.

John nodded a bit. “What’s our move?” He asked.

“Well you said that there’s a larger group of our guys a half mile west right?” Angelica asked, looking around, there didn’t seem to be anyone or anything else for as far as the eye could see.

John, who had been listening to chats via a radio, nodded.

“I bet the rest of our teams are there. And most of the action was probably last night.” Angelica said, thinking about the previous night that was filled with the sounds of bombs and gunshots.

“You think we should make a break for it? I mean, we can only last out here so much longer. We’re in full gear, it’s hot as balls, and no one has eaten or drunken much of anything.” John pointed out.

“Everyone here has a half mile running time of less than 8 minutes right?” Angelica asked.

Everyone nodded.

“Wait a minute. What if there’s still someone there? We run now we all get blown to bits.” John pointed out, thinking critically of his own suggestion.

“If I had something expendable I’d throw it and see what happens.” Angelica sighed.

“There’s nothing. No one had time to grab anything extra.” John frowned. “We sit here, we could get blown to bits, or starve, or die of heat stroke. We make a break for it, we could still get blown to bits, but we’re closer to the big group and we have help moving in behind from the east, plus they’ve already gotten most of the wounded out over there. But if we’re mistaken by the help for the other guys we’re definitely screwed. If I had a coin I’d flip it.”

Angelica sighed. “Of course the radio is one way.” She sighed. “I want someone to tell us what to do. We’re probably presumed dead right now.”

They decided to wait, and see what would happen, hoping a solution would make itself clear.

They waited for a while, maybe two hours when they heard a series of bombs in the distance. They waited more. Then John heard something over the radio, listened, and then spoke. “We got em.”

“You think it’s safe to go now?” One of the corporals asked.

“It’s been 6 hours. They’ve probably retreated by now, especially if we got em.” Angelica said.

“Someone should go first, rather than everyone at once, in case there is still someone out there.” Another corporal suggested.

John and Angelica looked at each other. “Who goes?” Angelica asked.

“You have your sisters. And your parents.” John said to Angelica as his way of offering to go.

“You have siblings too.” Angelica responded.

“I don’t have the relationship with them that you have with yours. You know that.”

“Yeah well that’s not irreparable. You can fix that.” Angelica pointed out to him.

“I’m the guy, I should go.” John was grasping at straws.

“Shove that sexist crap up your ass John. You wanna pull dumb shit like that? I’m older, I should go.” Angelica snapped a bit.

“I don’t have anyone, or anything.” Alex said quietly.

They looked at him. Neither said anything.

“I had a 6 minute half mile running time with full fear after three nights of no sleep in basic. I don’t have siblings or parents or pets or anyone or anything. I’ll go.” Alex offered.

“Alexander we can’t let you. We’re the sergeants here, if anyone is going it’s one of us.” Angelica said.

“Look, it’s gonna be dark soon, and it’s gonna get cold, the longer we wait, the worse off we are. And like you said, they’ve probably pulled back by now, so nothing will even happen. I’ll run and then find a radio and call you all back. If you don’t hear anything in 10 minutes, you’ll know it’s not safe.”

John looked at Angelica.

“I want to do this. I’m volunteering. Let me.” Alex said firmly.

“Alexander,” John started.

“No, someone needs to go. I’ll ask one more time, and then I’ll do it anyway because neither of you are my team leader. I’m not asking for permission at this point, I’m asking for your blessing.” Alex told them.

Angelica sighed a bit. “10 minutes. You broadcast as soon as you find a radio and tell us you made it there safely, then find the highest ranking officer you can, and tell them we’re here, there’s a gps tracker in the vehicle, they’ll be able to pinpoint us and cover us as we run back. Once you tell them where we are you go find your sergeant and tell him that you’re a bone headed idiot who just defied the wishes of two other sergeants and that thanks to your total lack of self preservation you might’ve just saved 6 other lives.” Angelica commanded.

“Yes ma’am.” Alex said. He grabbed his weapon, took a deep breath and stood, he began running.

Alex was maybe 200 feet away from the rest of the group, still within their sight, when suddenly there was the sound of something being shot, and before anyone realized it, an explosive device went off. Alex hadn’t stopped running but was definitely still in the blast zone.

John let out scream, but Angelica quickly covered his mouth. More shooting could be heard, but not at them, it didn’t seem to be at Alex either.

“What’s your max carry limit before you start losing speed?” Angelica quickly asked one of the other corporals, the biggest of the other four and the only one from her team.

“In full gear with a weapon probably 100 pounds dead weight for like 7 or 8 minutes.” He whispered.

“Damn it. Okay I’m the strongest one here, 130 for 9 minutes, I was a bit slower but I have more time and can carry more. I’m going after Alex. John you stay here. You stay quiet. You can’t be yelling, you'll endanger everyone else’s life. If there’s even a chance Alex is alive I’m taking him back. I’ll send help. Stay put. Do not go anywhere.”

The corporals nodded in understanding. 

Angelica pressed a kiss to John’s head. “I love y’all.” She whispered, meaning him and all their friends too, just in case. Then she got up and took off running towards Alex. It wasn’t a pretty sight. There was blood and so many wounds she couldn’t even tell were one started and the next began, and part of his left leg was completely gone. But he was whimpering ever so quietly, struggling to get air into his lungs, but he was still fighting and that’s what mattered.

“Hang on Alex. I’m gonna get you to help okay.” Angelica told him. She picked him up, throwing him over her shoulder and ran like hell.

She was exhausted by the time she was down to the last 500 feet mostly because she, like many others, hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, but she knew how much Alex meant to John, and John needed her to make it back so they could get out safely. She promised her little sisters Eliza and Peggy that she would do her best to get back, and that she would make sure John safely made it home in 5 months time from when she left home, and she would be damned if she didn’t succeed, especially with such little time left in John’s tour.

Soon she got to where the large group was, they had evacuated most people back to their base but still had an area for medics to work set up. She put him down on the tarp medics had laid out. “Explosive device was shot at him, he maybe I’d estimate got 5 or 10 feet away when it went off. He was struggling to breath like 8 minutes ago, I, I don’t know now.” She told them, quickly unclipping her helmet and pulling it off, relieved to get the heavy near 5 pound helmet off her head, it changed nothing, but she felt like she could breathe easier with it off.

“We’ve got him. Are you injured, sergeant?” They were referring to the blood, Alex’s blood, that was all over her uniform.

She shook her head, still trying to catch her breath. “All the blood is his, I was a good 200 feet away when the blast went off.” She sighed a bit. “Who’s the highest up here? I got 5 more guys a half mile out and they need cover getting back.”

“That'd be me.” Washington came up behind her.

“Colonel Washington.” She quickly saluted, dropping her helmet and not even caring about it.

“At ease sergeant, what’s going on?” Washington asked.

Angelica moved to the at ease position. She was panicked and upset and still exhausted and it made getting everything out harder. “Sir, Ser- Sergeant Laurens and four other corporals are a half mile wes- east! Half mile _east_ of here. It’s not safe for them to run, they’re currently taking cover by a damaged bug. Dune buggy, one of ours I mean. They need cover.” She sighed a bit. “Sorry sir.”

“It’s alright. Lieutenant Donnan, get on that, see they get here safely.” Washington said to one of the men standing near him.

The lieutenant nodded curtly. “Yes sir!” He said and quickly took off.

“What happened out there, Sergeant Schuyler? Who’s blood is that?” Washington asked.

“Sir, Me, Laurens, half his team, one of mine, and one other, and corporal Hamilton were taking cover, behind a broken dune buggy, one of ours, we heard what must’ve been the help arrive here, and we waited sometime, then tried to weigh our options, we didn’t know if we were clear. We realized one person should go ahead of the rest of the group. Me and Laurens began sort of arguing over who should go, then corporal Hamilton offered. He insisted, more like, said if we didn’t give our blessing he’d go anyway.” She was doing her best not to cry at this point.

“Take your time.” Washington spoke reassuringly.

“Hamilton went, he was ready to sacrifice himself for us all, he was 200 feet away and an explosive device was shot at him, he was still running when it went off, but was in the blast zone, that’s him that the medics are treating.” She pointed to the bloody mess of a body that the doctors were surrounding.

Washington looked over and a small frown came to his face before nodding a bit.

“I went after him, I ran the half mile. He needs to make it. Oh god he needs to make it.” She whispered the last bit. “I’m sorry colonel, I just,”

“You made friends with Hamilton I understand.”

“Him and Laurens were- are close too, really close, sir.” She said to stress how much Alex meant to their group.

“I’ll see to it that he’s given the best possible care, that the others are brought back safely, and then I’ll file the paperwork for corporal Hamilton’s purple heart that he so clearly deserves. Go get yourself cleaned up, sergeant, you’re dismissed.”

She nodded.

A couple hours later John, Lafayette, and Angelica were back in the barracks, John was sitting on his bed with Angelica, and Lafayette was sitting on his own bed, they weren’t playing cards or even saying much of anything to each other when Hercules came in and joined them. “Colonel Washington said Hamilton is being flown to out of here, to Germany for treatment.”

“Do we know if he’s even gonna make it?” Lafayette asked.

“They don’t fly patients in his condition out unless there’s damn good reason to do it, he probably needs all kinds of surgeries and more care than he can be given here.” Angelica pointed out.

“He had a long list of bad injuries, and infection was setting in, part of why he got sent to Germany.” Hercules explained, but didn’t give the details of his injuries.

“How bad?” John finally spoke, he’d been silent since he got back.

“I couldn’t even tell. There was so much blood, the only thing I know for sure was that there was an obvious, above the knee leg amputation.” Angelica told them.

“In all my tours, of all the shit I’ve seen, what he did must be one of the most selfless things I’ve ever seen.” Hercules sighed. “I’ve seen men sacrifice themselves, but it’s always the highest ranking of the group. Alex was only 5 months into his first tour. None of us have even fucking exchanged emails or phone numbers with Alex.” Hercules shook his head.

“It should’ve been me.” John mumbled, curling up into a ball.

“Mon ami, do not say that.” Lafayette frowned.

“It should’ve. I was the sergeant. Alex had plans, dreams, a whole life ahead of him, he was half way there to becoming a lawyer, this was gonna ensure his citizenship and get his college paid for. Service was my plan. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me both times.” John whispered. “After last time it especially should’ve been me, maybe I could’ve gotten back to Mathew.” John hugged himself tightly.

“Alex isn’t dead, John, you’ll see him again, I promise. He’s not gone forever. He isn’t Mathew.” Angelica told him, she only hoped she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caca is French and under the context Laf is using it, it means 'shit' in case anyone was wondering
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	2. We Both Know What We Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, super quick just wanted to mention that '---' means a switch in perspectives, I write in third person, but usually focus on one character, so if you see a couple dashed lines like that it simply means I've shifted focus to be centralized around a different character.
> 
> TW: Talk of PTSD and depression, discussion of medication, brief mention of a car accident

Alexander woke up with a groan, it was too bright and too loud, then again, he thought that every morning. “Tonight I’ll turn down the volume on that stupid alarm clock.” He promised himself, although it was probably the millionth time he made the promise to himself. 

He sat up and grabbed the bottle of cream on his night stand, he rubbed some of it into his residual limb, a stump of what had once been his left leg, that now ended about 6 inches from where his knee had once been. He grabbed his prosthetic liner or sleeve, and carefully rolled it onto the stump, which was sort of similar to rolling on a condom, he made sure there was no air trapped between his stump and the sleeve, then sprayed some medical-alcohol in the socket on the prosthetic leg to act as lubricant, then slid the stump into the socket. After shifting his weight onto the artificial limb about 10 or so times, all the air was pushed out and he felt his stump hit the bottom of the socket. Once he took a couple steps around his room and felt no pain or rubbing he knew he was good to go. 

Alex walked to his bathroom and took his medication; antidepressants for depression and PTSD, then continued his morning like any other person would, following the same schedule every morning. Get up, put leg on, take meds, go make coffee and breakfast, eat, get dressed (in formal attire of course, because he did work as a lawyer and had an image to uphold), brush hair and teeth, do his hair- which was longer now; a couple inches past his shoulders- then leave for work. He liked the schedule and followed it religiously, it made keeping things under control easier.

His appearance had changed a bit over the time, in addition to the missing leg, longer hair, and now having a little circle beard going, his face had aged a little, but it suited him well. If one pulled his shirt up they would find a myriad of scars in his stomach, chest, and back that hadn't been there before his incident, but he wasn't going shirtless in front of many people these days. He was still in shape, maybe not to the level he had been 15 years ago, but he was still the same size, forever a slim, somewhat scrawny guy.

After the months of hospital beds and surgeries and infections, it was months of rehab to learn to walk again totaling nearly a year's worth of time. After that he spent a lot of time struggling with PTSD and depression while eventually beginning to work his way through law school. The path to getting to where he wanted to be was a long one and he knew it was, but some voice in his head told him that the friends he’d made in Iraq wouldn’t want him back in their lives yet. The voice told him that a kid with PTSD, a missing leg, and only part of a law degree wasn’t good enough for them, that they would want more.

By the time he was ready and proud of himself enough to let his friends from Iraq back into his life, it had been almost 7 years since he last saw his group of military friends. He had taken a year and a half to recover from his injury and get his meds balanced enough for him to be stable enough to start law school. Then law school was 3 years long and after that he was bouncing around from law firm to law firm, until he finally got a permanent position at a good one almost 3 years after getting out of law school and it took until then to be proud of himself. However when he finally got to that point he realized he had probably waited too long.

As time went on, he continued to miss them. Sometimes he would see Lafayette or Washington in the news, as they had ended up in politics, but he didn’t know how to approach them, and as more time had gone on, he grew anxious that they would be angry or upset with him for never reaching out.

Every decent lawyer knew the name Angelica Schuyler, but the woman was impossible to track down, she went into big business law, and worked for international companies, she might’ve had the same job title on the surface, but she was miles away from where Alex stood. 

He didn’t know what happened to John or Hercules, but when he thought of them, he always tried to picture them smiling, happy and content with whatever their lives had brought them.

It had been almost 15 years ago that he last saw them and every time he thought of them he knew he was less likely to speak to them ever again. This meant that when he arrived at work in November 2019, 15 years after he’d gotten honorably discharged, seeing a piece of mail addressed to him from George Washington, left him in complete shock. Washington had never reached out before, other than when he was first at the hospital in Germany, a phone call where the Colonel told him he was getting a purple heart award for his sacrifice. 

Alex took his suit jacket off and neatly placed it over the back of his chair then sat down at his desk and played with the seal on the envelope for a while before finally building up enough courage to open it.

_“Dear Alexander Hamilton,_

_I know it has been a long time since we’ve last spoken, but I remember you well and have kept track of your progress over the last decade and a half. I'm very impressed with what you’ve made for yourself. I hope this letter finds you well._

_As I’m sure you’re aware, my recent campaign for mayor_ _was successful, and as you may know mayors get to appoint individuals to certain positions within the mayor’s office._

_I am writing to you to ask you to come work as my budget manager starting effective immediately. The job would entail overseeing financial reports and prioritizing the reports, deciding what I need to see as soon as possible, what can wait, and what isn’t worth my time. You would be allowed to submit reports you make yourself, but your main job is overseeing reports, as well as generally helping me manage the budget, and sitting in on various meetings with different groups that help run our city such as the public school board, police department, and public sanitation department to name a few._

_I’m not sure if politics is exactly your thing, but you were one of the first people I thought of when trying to choose someone for this position. You were always coming up to me with ideas on how we could do things more efficiently over in Iraq, how we could better use supplies, how we could find ways to reuse things we previously thought of as waste. It made a difference and I went on to use some of your ideas, and it saved lives._

_Using damaged unwearable clothes for cleaning rags where possible allowed us to spend less on cleaning supplies, and more on medical equipment, which translated to us being able to ration some, and it made a big difference next time we had a mass casualty incident as just one example from a large amount of potential ones. My point is, your ideas were good and that kind of thinking is exactly what I need from my budget manager._

_Call me when you’ve decided, and no matter which you choose, I would like to use this as a chance to reconnect. I look forward to your response. Just call the mayor’s office, tell them who you are, and you’ll get put through to me._

_Sincerely, George Washington.”_

Alex sat back in his chair and soaked it all in as he finished reading the letter, still holding onto it with both hands. He was in shock and his mind was racing. There was a lot to absorb. Washington followed his progress from afar. His ideas that he didn’t think Washington actually listened to lead to the saving of more lives. Washington wanted him to help work the budget. Washington wanted to reconnect with him.

He sat there staring at the letter in his hands for a while, before eventually putting it away in one of his desk drawers and continuing on with his work for the day.

He followed his normal routine as closely as possible, then towards the end of the day he went to his boss’s office and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” His boss called out.

Alex stepped inside of the office.

“Alexander, what can I do for you?”

Alex took a deep breath before speaking. “I’m quitting, effective immediately. Mayor George Washington has requested I run the city budget, and I’m not about to pass up the opportunity.”

Alex sorted the rest of the details out with this boss, luckily he didn’t have many cases on his plate at the moment, and they were all easily handed off to other lawyers at the firm. He packed up his office which didn’t have much for him to pack anyway and he headed home to his apartment. 

Alex’s apartment was kept tidy, and everything had a spot. It wasn’t an OCD thing, simply preference, everything having it’s own spot where it could always be found just made life easier. Tylenol sat in the same spot in the medicine cabinet so Alex could grab the bottle in the dark and not worry if he was grabbing something else. His laptop sat on his desk in his office at night charging so it was always charged the next morning and he knew where it was every morning which came in handy when he was running late.

Now that his work was changing though, he wondered if the routine would change too. He wondered this while finding places for his stuff from work.

After this, he made himself some dinner, trying to follow his routine as closely as possible despite the oncoming changes. After he ate dinner, he looked at the time, it was far too late to call the mayor’s office and actually get through to Washington, he would be at home probably eating dinner with his wife Martha by now.

Alex made tea, grabbed a book from his large bookshelf in his office, as well as the sort of crutch/cane hybrid he sometimes used around the house so he wouldn’t have to wear his leg then sat down in his favorite armchair. He pulled his prosthetic leg off, settled himself in and began reading.

Eventually he slid a bookmark into his book and set it on the coffee table so he could finish the book tomorrow. He grabbed his cane and made his way to the kitchen where he put his mug from tea in the dishwasher, started it, then continued with his evening routine that included showering, brushing his teeth, flossing, rubbing more cream into his stump to help with chafing and nerve pain, then crawling into bed. He fell asleep before remembering to turn the alarm clock sound down.

The next morning he went through his routine, then went to his home office and looked up the mayor’s office phone number. He took a deep breath and called.

“Thank you for calling the New York City Mayor’s office, how can I direct your call?” The receptionist asked.

“Hi, yes, my name is Alexander Hamilton, and I need to speak to the mayor. He said if I just gave my name I could get through to him, but I understand if that’s not necessarily the case, after all, anyone could call you up and say that.”

“Of course,” The receptionist chuckled. “Just give me one moment sir.” Typing on a keyboard could be heard. “Alright Mr Hamilton please hold for Mayor Washington.”

Alex was put on hold and then the call was transferred. “Mayor Washington.” George said upon answering the phone.

Alex swallowed thickly before speaking. “Colonel, it’s corporal Hamilton. I’m in.”

\---

John slapped his alarm clock, turning it off. He rolled out of bed and wandered to the bathroom attached to his bedroom. He dry swallowed his meds- antidepressants for the PTSD- and then got dressed, and wandered downstairs to his kitchen in search of breakfast.

John’s appearance hadn’t changed much at all, he was still clean shaven, still had nicely defined muscles even if it was getting harder to maintain them as time went on, and his face really hadn’t changed much. The only difference was that since leaving the military he’d let his hair grow long, reaching just a couple inches past his shoulder blades.

John’s fridge was pretty bare. He grabbed a scrap of paper and scribbled down ‘Do groceries’ and shoved it in his pocket to find later, after work.

He finished getting ready and drove to work, stopping for coffee and a bagel on the way. He arrived and went to the attendings lounge where he changed from his street clothes into scrubs and tied his hair up, then headed down to the ER and over to the nurses desk.

“Good morning John.” Elizabeth Schuyler smiled at him.

Elizabeth- or Eliza, as most people called her- was Angelica’s younger sister, and John’s best friend in the entire world. They had known each other since they were 9 and 10 years old. Eliza worked as the charge nurse for the ER of the same hospital John worked as a trauma surgeon at.

Despite having the same parents as Angelica, Eliza looked almost nothing like her, she had a much more pale complexion, pale enough to pass for white, and straight black hair, with caring, warm brown eyes that were the color of Nutella which was maybe half as sweet as her personality was. She was the middle child and just a bit shorter than Angelica at 5’5. Most people said she was the kindest of her sisters.

“Good morning Miss Eliza. Anything interesting this morning?” John asked skimming through the different case files sitting in the holder.

One part of being a trauma surgeon was that most all the surgeries he performed were emergent, almost none of them were planned. Occasionally he’d assist another surgeon on a case, but most of the time, he waited for his patients to walk, or in most cases, get wheeled into the ER.

“Not really, the only surgical thing down here already has a surgeon on the case.” Eliza told him as she continued to type things into the computer she was working at. “How are you this morning? How’d you sleep?”

John had developed insomnia along with his PTSD but prescription strength sleeping pills fixed the problem years ago. He hadn’t had sleep problems in nearly 4 years, but Eliza still asked how he slept everyday just to be sure.

“Not bad, and I slept fine.” He told her. “How’s Angie?”

“A little jet-lagged, but excited to see everyone. Said she might be staying longer because one of her companies is moving their headquarters here.”

“It’ll be nice having her home more.” John said as he neatly put the file he’d been skimming through back where it had been.

“It will.” Eliza agreed.

The phone then rang, which, with any luck, would mean an incoming patient. Eliza answered it, while John impatiently waited to hear what it was and soon Eliza hung up.

“We’ve got an incoming solo vehicle accident, penetrating trauma to the chest and abdomen. 2 minutes out.” Eliza told him.

John nodded. “That’s my que.” He grinned and went to go gown and glove up and meet the ambulance.

At the end of the day John ended up going to Eliza’s so he could see Angelica who hadn’t been in New York for what felt like months.

“John.” Angelica greeted with a large smile.

John walked over and hugged her tightly. “It’s been too long.” He sighed a bit.

Angelica hugged back. “But I’m here now.”

“You’re here now.” John repeated. 

John, Eliza, and Angelica, and Eliza’s son Philip, all ended up having dinner together. Unfortunately, Eliza’s wife was working but she did say hello to John on her way out the door.

“So John, anyone new in your life?” Angelica asked over dinner, subtly hinting at the fact that he hadn’t done anything but a casual hook-ups since watching Hamilton get hit with the bomb.

“Nope. You?” John asked and sipped his water.

“No strings attached.” Angelica reminded him and took a bite of salad.

“Yeah well me too and the sooner you realize that the better.” John told her.

She shook her head a little and continued eating. “How are the new meds working so far?”

John was currently working on balancing new antidepressants, because the old one’s had stopped working. John looked down at his plate, he hadn’t eaten much because honestly, the current meds were making him lose his appetite. “It uh, it’s a slow process, but I’m getting there, slowly but surely.” He said.

Angelica nodded. “If you ever need anything, John, I’m here for you, you know that right?”

He nodded. “I know.”

“Me and Maria are here for you too, day or night, anytime you need it.” Eliza reminded him as she helped Philip cut up some pieces of chicken breast that were still just a bit too big for him, seeing as he was still only 4 years old.

“I know, but thank you again.” John smiled a bit.

“Uncle John, did you put my pictures on your fridge?” Philip asked John. Philip was quite the little artist, always coloring or drawing. Eliza and Maria’s fridge was covered in colorful pictures, as was Angelica’s, and John’s.

“Yes I did, they were a wonderful gift Philip.” John smiled.

Philip beamed. He always had more pictures for John, but this time they had been special as he’d given John the pictures for his birthday, which had passed a little less than 2 weeks ago. “You’re welcome!”

“How was your birthday, John? I’m so sorry I missed it.” Angelica apologized.

“It’s alright. It was good. I slept in then went shopping with Eliza and Philip here, then we came back here and had some cake with Maria, it was pretty low key this year but I didn’t mind.”

“Well I’m glad you had a good day at least, lord knows you deserve it.” Angelica chuckled a bit.

“You can say that again.” Eliza laughed a bit too.

John’s life wasn’t perfect, and never in a million years could he have guessed it would be like this 20 or even 15 years ago, but considering the hand he’d been dealt, he figured he’d made the best of it, simply going with the flow and just trying to live each day as it came. For some it might be a depressing notion, but the lifestyle suited John, and for where he could be with everything he’d been through, he could be a hell of a lot lower than where he was, so he took that as a sign that he was doing something right.


	3. Did You Forget Lafayette?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Brief mentions of PTSD and depression

Alex looked over as he saw Washington enter the waiting area outside his office where Alex was waiting to meet with Washington for the first time in years. Upon seeing Washington, he quickly stood at attention. “Colonel Washington.” He greeted, automatically flipping back to proper military protocols for greeting a superior even if it had been years since he was in the army. He was wearing simple black dress pants, a matching black suit jacket, a white dress shirt, and a navy tie. His hair was in a neat bun that sat low on the back of his head.

Things had moved quickly after the phone call. Washington asked if Alex could come in and talk more and suddenly he was getting dressed and driving to the mayor's office to meet with George Washington to further discuss the issue at hand.

“At ease, Hamilton, there’s no need for that anymore.” George told him. He was wearing a medium-grey suit with a white dress shirt and no tie, seeing as Alexander was really the only meeting he had scheduled for the day.

“Force of habit, sir.” Alex explained, and dropped the arm saluting George, who looked almost exactly the same minus some new wrinkles around the corners of his eyes and mouth.

“It’s alright. Let’s go to my office.” George suggested and led Alex towards his office.

Alex nodded and followed him.

George led him into his office, it was freshly painted white, and looked fairly bare, mostly because he hadn’t been in it for very long yet. George had a large desk, and a matching bookshelf, as well as a couple of large black filing cabinets and two large green leather armchairs in front of his desk, but it seemed like that was probably all there before Washington had been. He had a photo of a woman Alex recognized to be George’s wife Martha sitting on his desk, and a travel mug for coffee, but those seemed to be the only personal effects. “Take a seat.” George politely told Alex, gesturing to the chairs in front of his desk. “Do you want coffee, tea, water, anything?” He asked as he sat down at his desk.

“I’m alright, thank you.” Alex took a seat in the armchair, anxiously resting his hands in his lap.

“I can’t begin to tell you how excited I was to receive your call, Alexander.” George told Alex as he shifted some papers aside and rested his arms on his desk.

“I’ll admit, I was very surprised to receive your letter. I didn’t realize anyone knew where I was, or that anyone had followed me after I left Iraq.” Alex admitted.

“Yes. It was tricky at times to follow you, especially in the early years. Why don’t you fill me in on what happened?” George admitted in response.

“Well after initial treatment in Germany, I was brought back here. I dealt with a lot of infection and it took me nearly a year to heal and learn to walk again. Above the knee amputations are harder than below the knee.”

Washington nodded. “I can imagine.”

“After healing things got rough, the initial amputation itself combined with a not so great fitting prosthetic, caused nerve pain and damage. Plus I was dealing with PTSD and depression, it was a real low point.” Alex looked down, unable to make eye contact with Washington while talking about something so difficult. 

“So what changed?” 

“My university funding finally came through. It took a while because they were getting my citizenship sorted out first. It made me realize that good things come to those who are patient, and there were good things coming my way, and I should live to see them. I got my law degree and I’ve been practicing law as a criminal defense lawyer ever since.”

“And a successful one at that.” George added. “You’ve tackled some pretty tough cases and you have a 99% success rate.”

Alex nodded a bit. “How have you been this last decade and a half or so, sir?” Some part of Alex knew that the ‘sir’ probably wasn’t necessary anymore, but he couldn’t seem to shut it off.

“Thank you for asking. I’ve been well. I left 4 years after you. I totaled 25 years of service before retiring out. I came home, practiced law for a couple years and then got into municipal politics. Now I’m here.”

Alex nodded a bit.

“I do have a little survivor's guilt, and let’s just say I’m not a fan of holidays involving fireworks, I do truly think that it’s a miracle though I didn’t end up with PTSD. However I’m happy to have served my country for as long as I did.” George chuckled a little.

“Lucky.” Alex chuckled. “But that’s really good. I’m happy for you.”

“Why thank you.” George paused. “I meant every word I said in that letter, Alexander. And I’m beyond delighted that you’ve agreed to come work with me.”

“I was honored to receive the invitation to work with you. And I’m excited to start.” Alex smiled a bit.

“Wonderful. We’ll get you started as soon as you can.”

“That would be now. I gave my notice to my boss last night.” Alex explained, his voice and face remained calm, but the wringing of his hands gave away that he was still somewhat nervous about this whole thing.

“Perfect.” Washington smiled. “Today I’ll show you your office and give you a little orientation, tomorrow we’ll get you officially set up and get you working.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Alex smiled back.

Alex began working for Washington and had to admit it, it made him think about trying to get in contact with everyone, but he didn’t know where to start. November and most of December flew by. Alex was invited for Christmas dinner with the Washingtons and a New Years Eve party as well, but he politely declined to attend both events. Parties weren’t his thing and he wasn’t sure how he felt about Christmas dinner with just George and his wife. It was early January when the beginning of reconnecting with his friends fell right into Alex’s lap.

Alex walked into the office one morning, bundled up due to the New York City January cold. He pulled his gloves and hat off and stuffed them in his bag then took a moment to knock the snow off his shoes on the entry rug before walking in.

“Hamilton?!” A French accent called out.

Alex looked up from his shoes. Standing there, talking to Washington was Lafayette, dressed in a bright red suit, a black dress shirt, and red tie with his hair- which was much longer now- pulled into a poofy ponytail. He looked pretty much the same as he did 15 years ago minus the longer hair and the fact that his bread was now more shaped stubble than an actual beard. Seeing Lafayette in the red suit was a little odd, as Alex had only ever really seen him in army-regulation clothing, but he was not surprised that Lafayette would wear something so dramatic if he was anything like what he had been 15 years ago. Alex couldn’t help but find himself frozen for a moment. “L- Lafayette?”

Lafayette ran over and pulled Alex into a tight, bone crushing hug. It took Alex a second, but then he hugged back.

“I do not even know where to start with you.” Lafayette’s voice sounded exasperated when he pulled away. “You look good mon ami, the longer hair suits you, same with the bread, as does the aging, you used to look so scrawny and un peu awkward, but it is much better now.”

Alex chuckled a little. “Thanks, you look better with long hair too, and the shaped subtle is far better than the beard you had in Iraq.” Alex told him, smiling a bit.

“Why thank you, mon ami.” Lafayette smiled back.

“I didn’t realize you were in New York. I heard that you were working as the French ambassador so I assumed you stayed in DC.” Alex said as he adjusted his bag on his shoulder, most days he carried a briefcase, and a separate lunch bag, but he had a lot of paperwork that he’d completed over the holiday break to bring in, and his briefcase wasn’t big enough. He held onto the bag strap mostly for something to do with his hands. 

Lafayette shook his head a bit. “DC is where my work is, but NYC is my American home.”

Alex nodded then looked at his watch and frowned. “Dammit I have to get a meeting.” He bit his lip in thought. “Are you free this afternoon? We could catch up over coffee or something after I’m done with work here?”

“Yes, of course. What time do you finish? I can come and meet you here.” Lafayette offered.

“I finish at 5.” Alex told him.

“I will be here at 5, mon ami. I cannot wait.” Lafayette smiled.

“I can’t either. I’ll be here.” Alex smiled a bit in return.

Lafayette hugged him again. “It is so wonderful to see you again, Alexander.” He whispered.

Alex got to his meeting just barely on time and got his work for the day done despite Lafayette plaguing his mind. Lafayette was here, Lafayette wanted to see him, he didn’t seem to care that 15 years had passed or if he did he certainly hadn’t shown it.

At five Alex went to the lobby, where Lafayette was waiting. “Ready to go?” Alex asked, pulling on his toque and gloves, his coat was already on but wasn’t zipped up

Laf nodded. “Are we taking the subway?” He asked.

Alex shook his head. “Nope, I have a car.”

“A car in NYC, this is, bold, to say the least.” Lafayette observed.

“It’ll make sense in due time.” Alex told him and led him to his car, which was a dark blue Toyota Corolla, it appeared to be a fairly new model and was in good condition. Alex was parked in a handicap spot, the handicap ticket hanging off the rearview mirror. He got in and pulled it down, putting it in the center console.

“If you know what streets to avoid, driving isn’t terrible, and parking is the issue, but with that,” He referred to his handicap sign. “It’s not bad.” He explained to Lafayette as the Frenchman got in the passenger seat.

“Right, because your leg.” Lafayette nodded a bit as he pulled his seat belt on.

“Exactly.” Alex said, knocking gently on the plastic part of his left leg.

The drive wasn’t long, and not much was said. Soon they were in a coffee shop, sitting in a booth with warm drinks in their hands.

“We looked for you for 5 years after your, uh, after you left. Me and the rest of the group I mean. Eventually we all began to think that you…” Laf trailed off, looking down at the mug he had wrapped his hands around. “But you’re here, you’re alive and well.” Lafayette looked up at Alex, smiling.

Alex nodded in understanding. “They sent me to Germany for treatment, I was there for about a month, before coming back here to America, I was in the hospital for another 2 months, and then I was in a rehab facility for 9 months. I lost my leg and had a lot of other miscellaneous injuries, plus I dealt with a lot of infections that made things worse.”

Lafayette nodded. “It makes sense. I am sorry to hear it.”

“It is what it is I guess.” Alex shrugged. “After that I took some time, then I was in law school. 5 years after the incident I would’ve been in between law firms and not easy to find.” He explained.

“I’m sorry we stopped looking.” Lafayette almost sounded upset with himself.

“Don’t be. I made myself hard to find at first. I didn’t want to let anyone back into my life until I had it all together. It took 7 years and then I figured I’d waited too long. Time went on and even though some of you were easy to track down, I didn’t know how to or where to start.”

Lafayette nodded in understanding.

“Enough about me. How have you been? What’ve you been doing the last 15 years?” Alex asked and sipped his coffee.

“I finished that tour. Came home for 3 months, went back, did another 9 month tour, came back again for 3 months, then did a final 12 month tour and after that I decided to retire out.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I wanted so badly to go back and serve more but I was diagnosed with PTSD. They wouldn’t let me re-enlist.” He explained. “Sorry for interrupting. Go on.” He quickly added.

“No, no, it’s alright. After retiring out I finished up my education. Then I flopped around between France and America, dabbled in French politics but struggled because I missed America, and I ended up with the ambassador position. I spend a month or two a year in France and the rest of my time is split between here and DC.”

Alex nodded. “You got any family or anything?” He asked as he absentmindedly traced shapes into the side of his mug.

Lafayette shook his head. “No, but I am content with my work and my friends. I was married for a couple years to a woman named Adrienne, she still means a lot to me, but she didn’t like all the travel my work caused me, and we got divorced. What about you?”

Alex shook his head. “Nope. It’s just me, I’ve been doing well on my own.” He shrugged.

The two continued catching up and Alex had to admit, it felt amazing to reconnect with Lafayette and he regretted not trying sooner. All the fears of it having been too long had melted away.

“Mon ami I am so grateful to reconnect with you.” Lafayette smiled. They had been in the coffee shop for hours at this point.

“I couldn’t agree more. It’s been wonderful. I only regret not doing it sooner.” Alex smiled back.

“Would you want to reconnect with the others?” Lafayette asked, seeming excited at the thought.

“I would.” Alex nodded and smiled a bit.

“I can arrange a get together,” Lafayette started and pulled out his phone, ready to start making arrangements now.

“Lafayette I appreciate it, but, hang on a moment.” Alex stopped him.

“What is it?” Lafayette asked, seeming somewhat deflated he put his phone down on the table.

“It’s wonderful reconnecting, but, I need to take my time doing it. Don’t get me wrong, this is great but it’s bringing up memories, not to mention that this is disturbing my routine.”

Lafayette seemed confused.

“I dealt with PTSD and bad depression, for a year and a half after the incident. I was really low for a while. It was really bad. I keep myself okay with strict routines and medication. I will reconnect with everyone eventually but, I need to take time or I’ll risk my mental health. I hope you understand.”

“Of course, Alexander, I understand.” Lafayette nodded.

Alex bit his lip. “Don’t tell them we reconnected yet? And I’ll tell you when I’m ready for more? I just, I feel like I owe everyone the full story and they deserve to hear it from me. So if you say something about reconnecting with me they’ll probably ask questions and you shouldn’t have to be the one to try and explain all this to anyone else.”

Lafayette nodded. “Of course. I’m just glad to have you back, take all the time you need, our friends are not going anywhere.”

The two exchanged phone numbers and went their separate ways. Alex had to admit, reconnecting wasn’t as terrifying as he thought. The terrifying thing now would be discovering what kind of effects it could have.


	4. I Will Never Be Satisfied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [(interest text here] is how I've typed out text messages so when you see [] around a line of text, that's what it means
> 
> TW: Discussion of PTSD and depression, suicidal ideation(? (It's very brief and is a memory someone recalls, not actually happening in the present), mentions of blood and death

Alex continued talking to Lafayette over the next month and into February. It was Sunday evening and they were having Chinese take out together and watching a movie at Alex’s apartment.

“Hey Laf?” Alex looked over as he set his food aside.

“What is up, mon ami?” Lafayette looked over at him.

“Well, I, I was thinking, that uh, I think I’m ready to reconnect with another one of you guys.” Alex was honestly almost nervous to admit it, but at the same time, it felt good to think about reconnecting with another one of his friends.

“That is wonderful news! Did you have someone in mind, or, oh Angelica has to go back to California soon, maybe you could reconnect with her? Before she goes?” Lafayette suggested excitedly.

“Angelica sounds good.” Alex smiled a bit.

“Why don’t I invite her to dinner? We can go to a nice restaurant and have dinner, all three of us.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Lafayette gasped a bit as he set his food aside too. “Should we surprise her? With you I mean? Like, I just tell her we’re going to dinner and then surprise, you’re there!”

“Uh, do you think she would like the surprise?” Alex tried to remember from their time in Iraq if Angelica had ever admitted to liking or disliking surprises, but he couldn’t remember anything specific.

“I think she would, yes, and trust me when I say that if she says she is angry with you, it is a joke about how you disappeared, she is not actually mad at you. I promise.” Lafayette warned. “She really does miss you very much, she just does not show it the same way you and I do.”

Alex nodded

Lafayette made the arrangements for them to have dinner with Angelica on Friday evening and in the blink of an eye Alex was gearing up to reconnect with another friend.

Soon it was Friday and Alex arrived at the restaurant, which was on the pricier side, but he didn’t mind, plus Lafayette insisted he was picking up the check anyway, because he chose the restaurant. Alex was dressed in a dark green knitted sweater and black dress pants, with his hair neatly tied back in a ponytail. Alex knew Angelica and Lafayette would be a couple minutes behind him. He sat at the table, watching the door.

Soon the door to the restaurant opened and despite all the warm clothing, it was unmistakably Angelica walking into the restaurant, and Lafayette coming in immediately after her only confirmed it. She took her gloves and coat off. Her looks hadn’t changed one bit, she still looked like she was in her mid 20’s and her hair was still almost the exact same length it had been in the military. She was in a white button up dress shirt and royal blue paper bag dress pants. Her long hair was left down, in big loose curls. “Were we meeting someone after all, Laf? If so are they here yet?” She asked, looking over at him.

Lafayette, who was wearing a simple light blue button up dress shirt and black jeans, scanned the restaurant, then spotted Alex. “Over here.” He said and led her towards Alex.

She followed, then froze, staring when she realized who was sitting at the table. “Corporal Hamilton?!” She exclaimed loudly, not caring that other people in the restaurant were suddenly staring.

“Surprise!” Alex said, grinning. He stood up from where he had been sitting in the booth-style table so she could see him better and in case she wanted to hug him like Lafayette had.

“I told you I had a treat for you.” Lafayette smiled at Angelica as he took his seat at the table, pulling out his phone and sending someone a text.

“Holy fucking shit I thought you were dead.” Angelica told Alex as she walked over and hugged him tightly.

“Alive and well.” Alex hugged her back.

“Someone is gonna need to start explaining things real quick.” She took a seat next to Lafayette on the other side of the booth from where Alex had been sitting.

“He has been living in New York all this time! This city really is full of surprises. He has been working as a lawyer for the last 9 years.” Lafayette told Angelica.

“Why didn’t we know this? Why did you never reach out?” Angelica asked Alex, frowning a bit.

Alex explained himself, telling Angelica the same details of his life since they’d last spoken that he told Lafayette.

At one point while Alex was talking, they had been interrupted by the waiter, and Angelica took the chance to check her phone, opening a text from Lafayette.

[Please do not mention John, I haven’t and neither has Washington. This is because I do not know how Alex will take it and I do not think I want to find out tonight in case it is not good.]

Angelica looked at Alex as he finished telling his story. “I’m sorry we stopped looking for you. It’s just, so much happened, so over time it just got harder and harder to keep up with it. We couldn’t bear it anymore because we were expecting to find an obituary at that point.” Angelica explained.

“It’s alright. Lafayette said the same thing, and I told him the same thing. I wasn’t ready to be found yet and then by the time I was I thought it was too late.”

She nodded. “How long have you been talking with Laf?”

Alex looked at Lafayette. “Maybe like, a month?”

“Wait a month?! What the hell took so long? Am I the last one you’re reconnecting with?”

Alex sighed a bit, he looked down and fiddled with his sleeve as he began to speak. “Angelica I got bad PTSD as a result of what happened. I know how to keep it under control and I know what my limits are. I can only take so much at once, I need to take my time reconnecting.” Alex explained.

Angelica nodded a bit. 

“I’m so so happy too see you. However, despite that, right now looking at your face, at the very back of my mind I’m back in Iraq, being carried to the medics by you, in the worst pain I’d ever felt in my life, bleeding out and begging them to just let me succumb to my injuries. If I go too fast reconnecting I worry it’ll be disastrous for my mental health.”

Angelica nodded again, she frowned a tiny bit for half a second before quickly hiding it. “I dealt with a little PTSD, but it got much better, and went away after a couple years. I understand what you’re going through.” She admitted.

“I reconnected with Colonel Washington first. He asked me to come run the city budget with him. Then Lafayette was in the office, visiting him I guess, and we ran into each other and reconnected. You’re the third person I’ve reconnected with.”

“Well, I’m glad you chose me.” Angelica smiled. “I gotta go back to California soon.” She explained.

“You went into business law, right?” Alex asked her.

“Yep. It pays crazy well. I went to California because of Silicon Valley and let’s just say I made the right choice for sure.”

“Makes sense. Silicon Valley needs lots of big business lawyers.”

Angelica nodded then paused for a moment. “Actually, I haven’t told anyone else this, but when I go back to California I am fairly sure that one of my companies is gonna offer me a huge pay increase if I agree to work for them and them only. I plan to take the deal because they’re planning to move their headquarters to New York sometime this year, the move is actually already in the works.”

“Oh my goodness that is amazing news!” Lafayette exclaimed, grinning happily.

“I’m just waiting to tell everyone else until it’s a done deal. I don’t want to get Eliza and Peggy excited for no reason in case I’m wrong about getting the offer, or if I couldn’t take it for some reason, ya know?”

“That makes sense.” Alex nodded.

“I’ve realized that, New York is my home and I should be here. I’ve spent enough time away from home.” Angelica admitted.

Alex nodded. “You retired out I’m guessing?”

She nodded. “Served two more tours, with Laf, and retired out. The PTSD was creeping in so I retired before I could get discharged. Even if it is an honorable discharge. I was lucky that it got better. Now it’s just the typical, no fireworks kinda stuff that I think we all deal with.”

Alex nodded. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing so well.” He smiled. “So are you still all, no-strings-attached or have you settled down?” He asked.

“I don’t think I’ll ever settle. I’ll never be satisfied enough with just one person for the rest of my life, it’s too restrictive. What happens when the fire doesn’t burn on it’s own anymore ya know? I don’t wanna fight to keep a spark alive. I’d rather enjoy someone else’s fire for an evening, and leave before I have to deal with any of the hard work or fall out.” She explained. “What about you? Has anyone tamed you yet?” She teased.

Alex shook his head. “I had a fish, I don’t think it liked me all that much. One day I came home and found it had jumped out of it’s tank which wouldn’t have been an easy feat considering there wasn’t much uncovered area for it to jump out of. I’m better off on my own I think.”

The three continued with their dinner and then parted ways, with Angelica and Alexander promising to keep in touch and exchanging details.

When Angelica got home she was tired from a long day, happy from seeing Alex, and a little sad, thinking about what happened with and to him, and what followed immediately afterwards for him.

“I’m home!” She called out to her sister Peggy.

Because she wasn’t in New York a lot, when she was, she stayed with Peggy, who remained single, and happened to travel a lot doing mission work. Because of this, they shared a nice penthouse apartment in Manhattan. Eliza was there with her wife Maria, and son Philip, often when Angelica or Peggy were home, and while the apartment sometimes spent months at a time unoccupied, the moment guests came in, it seemed like one of the liveliest places imaginable. Peggy always had a new, interesting story to tell and Angelica loved to entertain, debate, and occasionally dabble in gossip so there was never a dull moment in their apartment.

Peggy came over to the entryway. She was in a simple yellow hoodie and some black shorts, probably having spent the evening watching movies and eating junk food. “Hey. How was your dinner?” She asked. “What was Lafayette’s surprise?”

Peggy was the missing puzzle piece that made it obvious the three sisters were related. Her complexion was between Angelica’s, who took after their black father, and Eliza’s, who took after their white mother. Peggy, was the perfect mix of her parents. She was shorter than both her sisters, at just 5’4 and was generally the happiest, most carefree of her parent’s daughters.

“It was good. The surprise, certainly was surprising, to say the least.” Angelica told her as she hung up her coat and set her purse down as well as her gloves. She immediately pulled her heels off and put them on the shoe rack and took out her earrings, simply sliding them in her pocket to put away later.

“Well what was it?” Peggy asked, hovering around her older sister.

“Alexander Hamilton.”

“Wait like, the guy from Iraq you all thought was dead?” Peggy seemed surprised. Angelica had talked a lot about the guy a long time ago, and still did occasionally. Angelica would never admit it, but some of the PTSD she dealt with had to do with his incident. Peggy led Angelica to the kitchen where she put on the kettle to make some tea.

Angelica nodded and followed. “It was so nice to see him alive and well, but, he’s not exactly the same guy we knew back then. He’s only reconnected with Lafayette and Washington, and now me, so far. I guess he has PTSD and it’s hard. He said something kinda heartbreaking at dinner without realizing it I think.” Angelica sat down at the table they had in their kitchen nook, turning the chair to face Peggy.

“What did he say?” Peggy asked as she hoisted herself onto the counter near the stove, which was a common occurrence and Angelica had given up on trying to get her sister to not do it a long time ago.

“Well first off, you have to understand, the night everything went down with him was tough. It was extremely complicated. Someone needed to go first, to see if we were clear to get to where our guys set up. Based on rank, me or John should’ve gone. Alex ended up convincing us to let him go. And then the bomb hit. I went after him and carried him a half mile to safety. He was so badly injured I wasn’t sure if he would live long enough to get to safety.” Angelica explained.

Peggy nodded a bit, gently swinging her legs back and forth as she listened to Angelica and watched the kettle on the stove.

“Tonight at dinner he explained that he got PTSD from the accident, which isn’t really surprising, I mean, that’s a pretty traumatic event. But then he told me it was really good to see me but that at the same time he couldn’t help but be brought back to that night. It didn’t offend me, and he wasn’t trying to offend me. However he did basically tell me that seeing my face brought him back to one of the worst nights of his life.”

“I’m so sorry Angie-” Peggy started.

“Don’t be. I’m not and neither should he. It makes perfect sense. I just wish it was different.” Angelica sighed a bit and looked down.

Peggy nodded a bit.

“We’re gonna stay in contact though.” Angelica smiled a bit as she turned her focus to the positives to have come out of the night’s dinner. “And he’s working on reconnecting with everyone else, it’ll take some time, but he said he’ll get there. In no time at all we’ll have the whole gang back together and I bet he’d love to meet you and Maria and Eliza and Pip. Well I don’t know how he feels about kids actually but I mean like, come on it’s Pip, everyone loves him.” Angelica chuckled a bit.

Peggy nodded as she poured the boiling water into a teapot and added tea bags. “How do you think John is gonna take it?” She asked while doing this, not looking at Angelica.

“I hadn’t even thought of that.” Angelica frowned a bit. “Those two had big feelings for each other. Alex confessed his feelings the night that battle started. John being John responded with a kiss and that’s when they got the call that there was incoming. They never got to talk about it or make anything official. All they got was one short, interrupted kiss.”

“But it was enough to ruin John.” Peggy frowned a bit.

Angelica nodded. “Yeah. I think deep down he still has all those feelings for Mathew plus all those feelings for Alexander and he just can’t bear the idea of letting himself be with anyone else. He seriously fell in love twice in his life and both times he lost them after less than a year with them.”

Peggy nodded. “Does Alex still have feelings for John?”

“No one has said anything about John to him yet, and he hasn’t brought John up either. We don’t know how he’d react. So I don’t know if Alex still likes John. He might but he might not. He said he’s single though, told us he was better off on his own. We just, don’t know.” Angelica shrugged a bit.

Peggy nodded a bit. “What do you think will happen when they reconnect?” Peggy got down from the counter and grabbed two mugs. She poured tea into both and added sugar, a lot into her’s and just a little into Angelica’s, then handed Angelica her tea.

Angelica took the mug. “Thank you.” She mumbled and looked down at the tea then sighed a bit. “I have absolutely no idea.”


	5. Domestic Life Was Never Quite My Style

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, because I never explained it, I'm picturing most of these guys the way Szin on YouTube draws them and combining some of their backgrounds with their historical and their actor/actress counter parts in various ways. Alex for example, is half Puerto Rican and half Scottish, John is half Puerto Rican half white, etc. If anyone has questions about it just drop em in the comments and I'd be happy to explain better.
> 
> There is some survivors guilt stuff in here, but I don't think it's too upsetting. Honestly this is mostly just fluff so enjoy because that's gonna be kinda rare in this fic

Alex continued talking with Lafayette and Angelica over the next couple weeks. It didn’t take long for Alex and Angelica to get back to the relationship they had before, minus the hooking up part. She would rant about her work and he would offer solutions and vice versa. It felt good to have that relationship back.

It wasn’t to say that the PTSD surrounding Angelica’s presence was gone, but the more time he spent with her, the more old good memories resurfaced, and new memories were made, and slowly he replaced the idea of Angelica in his mind as a good friend rather than the person who wouldn’t let him die the night of his incident.

One thing Alex had noticed though was that no one spoke about John, ever. Alex wanted to ask, but feared the answer, and couldn’t bear to ask. He wasn’t ready to let go of the happy, smiling John that lived in his mind, even if every day he suspected more and more that that John didn’t exist anywhere but his mind.

Alex, suspecting John wasn’t around anymore, felt bad about not reconnecting with Hercules yet, seeing as he was the only one left. He was going to talk to Lafayette about it soon.

Alex was in the grocery store, doing his bi-weekly grocery shop. He always shopped at the same grocery store at the same time of day, every second Saturday as part of his schedule. Alex wandered into the next aisle while looking down at his list, then looked up and immediately froze.

Entering the aisle from the other end was a man with a shopping cart. There was a small boy in the cart, and a girl holding the man’s hand, walking beside him, but what made him freeze was that the man was none other than Hercules Mulligan. He looked quite the same, his hair was still similar and he still rocked the goatee, he didn’t have any wrinkles or grey hairs, but it would appear he was now a father. Alex didn’t know whether to go up to Hercules or retreat from the aisle and pretend it didn’t happen.

Hercules didn’t notice Alex yet. But then the decision was then made for Alex and made Hercules aware of Alexander’s presence.

“Daddy, that man looks like the guy from your war pictures!” The little girl was pointing at Alex.

Hercules looked over at Alex and froze too.

“Daddy is that the same man?” The girl asked. “Is it your friend?”

“I, uh, I think it is. Give me a minute, okay? Stay with your brother.” Hercules let go of the girl’s hand and walked over towards Alexander. “I’ll. Be. Damned.” He mumbled. “Alexander.” Hercules seemed to be in a bit of shock.

“Hi Hercules.” Alex spoke quietly.

Hercules, like most of Alex’s friends so far, pulled him into a tight hug. “We thought you were dead.” He exclaimed.

Alex hugged back. “I’m not.”

Hercules pulled away and wiped his eyes, which were misty with potential tears. “I don’t even know what to say.” He seemed to be at a total loss for words and Alex could practically see the gears turning in Hercules’ head probably too fast for it to actually achieve anything useful or helpful.

“Those are your kids?” Alex asked to come up with something to say to keep from arriving at an awkward silence.

Hercules looked over. “Hmm? Oh yeah, Mary and William.” He smiled a bit.

Alex smiled a bit too. “Listen, I know you probably have questions but I think we both know this isn’t the time or place. We both have shopping to finish and get home and your kids look a little antsy. Why don’t we meet for coffee sometime and catch up?”

Hercules nodded. “Yeah. Yeah sounds good. Hand me your phone and I’ll put my number in?”

Alex nodded and handed his phone over. “Here.”

Hercules put his number in and handed it back.

“I was gonna try and reconnect with you soon, I’m glad we ran into each other.” Alex smiled a bit.

“Wait yo- you were?” Hercules asked, seeming surprised.

“I reconnected with Washington in November. Then Lafayette in January, and Angelica in February. I’m taking it slow.”

Hercules nodded a bit, he looked a bit confused and maybe just a little bit hurt, but he tried not to show it. “Well, I look forward to reconnecting. There’s a lot of catching up to do.”

Alex nodded. “I’ll see you soon.”

Alex was right about the soon part. Two days later he was in a coffee shop, sitting at a table with a coffee in his hands, wearing a simple thick black sweater and blue jeans, with his hair up in a messy bun. Then Hercules came into the shop, he had a long black coat over a thinner off-white sweater, and black dress pants. His style definitely wasn’t that of a regular mid-forties dad. Hercules grabbed himself a coffee then came over to the table Alex was sitting at, he set his coffee down and pulled his coat off before speaking.

“Hi.” Alex was tracing shapes into the side of his mug again.

“Hey.” Hercules said as he sat down. “I still can’t believe it. You- you’re here, you’re alive, you look well.” Hercules vaguely gestured towards Alex with his hand, seeming almost as surprised as he had in the grocery store.

“Lafayette and Angelica said almost the same thing.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Sorry. I know you’ve probably gone over it a lot with them.” Hercules looked down at his coffee.

Alex nodded a bit. “Yeah. Tell me about yourself? What’s your life been like?”

“Well, I finished that tour, came home for a while, I served 3 more tours over 4 years after that with Laf and Angelica. My hearing in my right ear started going the tour I met you, and by my last tour it was gone. I took it as a sign I should retire before I lost all my hearing.”

Alex nodded. “I’m sorry about that. You- you can hear me alright, right? Is that rude? I, I’m sorry.” Alex went ahead and apologized.

“It’s alright. I still have like, 90% hearing in my left ear, and I have a hearing aid, which kinda helps me to hear louder noises in the right ear so it’s not bad.” Hercules explained and turned his head, showing off the hearing aid which was small and not easily seen. “It’s not supposed to be big or flashy and noticeable.”

Alex nodded. “Lucky. I wish I could hide my disability that easily.” He chuckled a bit.

“Right, the leg thing. I didn’t notice that, if it’s any consolation.”

“Winter is easier. In summer time it’s tricky. Either die of heat in pants or get stared at in shorts.” Alex explained.

Hercules nodded.

“So, you retired out and then what? Somehow you obtained two children.” Alex chuckled.

Hercules smiled. “I came home and met my wife, Liz. She was my audiologist, actually. For a while I didn’t know how to ask her out so I just kept going back to the office saying I was having trouble with the hearing aid. Eventually, she caught on to what I was doing and ended up asking me out.” Hercules admitted, chuckling a bit.

“Why am I not surprised by that? Too much casual sex, not enough real relationships.” Alex teased.

Hercules rolled his eyes. “Three years later we got married, another 2 years later we had our daughter Mary, who’s now 6, then 3 more years went by and we had our son William, who’s three.” He explained. “You wanna see pictures? You probably didn’t really get a good look at the store the other day.” Hercules asked, automatically going into proud dad mode.

“I’d love to.” Alex smiled.

Hercules pulled out his wallet.

“Old fashioned,” Alex observed. “Kinda like you.” He joked over the fact that Hercules was now in his mid forties.

“Hardy har. I have lots on my phone but this is where I keep the best pictures.” Hercules explained. 

Hercules showed Alex a fairly recent picture of Mary and William, playing together with bubbles. Mary’s hair was curly, but nowhere near as curly as Hercules’ afro, she was a lot paler than him, probably lighter than Lafayette, and she had soft brown eyes that bordered on being hazel. William’s hair was more similar to his dad’s, as was his skin tone, however he still was a bit paler than his father and his eyes were darker brown than his sister’s, again, more similar to his father’s.

The next photo was of a woman Alex assumed was Herc’s wife, Liz, in their kitchen, working with some kind of dough, she had an apron on and her hair tied up with a piece in her face. Liz was white with her skin having reddish-pink undertones, she had had reddish brown hair and green eyes, making Alex wonder if she was a fellow Scot. She was fairly slender, and not that Alex was looking at the photo in _that_ way, but he could tell why she caught Hercules’ eye. She was laughing, and seemed to not notice the picture being taken. There was another photo, a professional one this time, of Liz, Mary, and William that was an older one, because it was Liz and Mary sitting next to each other, with Mary holding baby William in her arms.

“They’re adorable. I’m really happy for you.” Alex smiled.

“What about you? Wife? Husband? Kids? Dog? Cat? Pet rock? Anything?” Hercules asked. 

Alex shook his head. “Nope. Just me. But I’m happy. I have my work, and now I have all of you guys back. Life is good.”

“I’m glad to hear it. So you’re working under Washington again?” Hercules sipped his coffee.

Alex nodded. “Yeah. At first I couldn’t stop calling him Colonel. I still do sometimes. It's a force of habit.”

Hercules laughed a bit. “I do the same thing and even though we’ve both been out for like 10 years and I see him at least three times a year.”

Alex nodded a bit. “It must be nice to have kept in contact with him and everyone else.”

Hercules nodded. “Him and Martha usually have a couple dinner parties a year. Everyone goes, I’m sure you’ll get an invite to the next one, seeing as we’re back in contact.” He explained.

“That sounds really nice. I haven’t seen everyone together yet. Again it’s just the whole, taking time thing, plus with Lafayette and Angie working out of state it’s tricky.”

“We face the same problem, don’t worry.”

Alex sipped his coffee. “So, you went into tailoring?”

Hercules nodded a bit. “Yeah. I can’t explain it, I just like the work. I own my own little shop and I do pretty well, it was rough at first but Liz was supportive and wouldn’t let me give up. Now I’ve got some pretty big clients and I’m doing really well."

“I’m happy for you. I really am.” Alex and Hercules talked for a while more before they parted ways. 

When Hercules arrived home, William and Mary were in bed, as Alex and Hercules met for coffee at 7, and the kids went to bed at 8:30. Liz was sitting on the couch, writing on her laptop. “Hello dear. How was coffee?” She asked tilting her head back so she could look over at him.

“It uh, it was really good.” Hercules smiled as he hung his jacket up and took his shoes off.

“How is he? Alexander, I mean.”

“He’s doing well. Working for Washington.”

“Oh wow, what’s he doing?” Liz asked.

“Running the city budget. He says he likes what he’s doing.”

“So what happened to him?” Liz asked, setting her laptop aside and turning to face her husband.

“Well he lost his leg from the blast, above the knee, and he dealt with a lot of infection from his other wounds, When he finally got out of rehab after learning to walk again he struggled with his mental health. He wasn’t ready to be found yet. If we had tried for just two years more, we could’ve found him.”

“Well you found him now, isn’t that what matters?” Liz got up and came over to Hercules, taking his large, rough-skinned hands in her own smaller, softer ones. She was just over half a foot shorter than him, around 5’5.

“I mean I guess but it could’ve saved a lot of heartache. I mean, look at what happened to John.” Hercules explained as he gently squeezed her hands.

Liz frowned a bit. “I guess you have a point there.”

“I dunno.” Hercules shook his head. “I think about how everything with that went down and it was all around a terrible situation. I don’t know how I let Alex, John, and Angie get separated from everyone else.” Hercules looked down.

“It wasn’t your fault dear.” Liz gently rubbed up and down Hercules’ arms in a comforting manner.

“I was in charge of them. I was their captain and their friend, I should’ve done more.” Hercules got quieter, the guilt starting to get to him.

“Dear, you were in charge of nearly 100 other soldiers. Alex was the only one severely injured that night and we both know it. You did the best you could. This is the survivor’s guilt.” She reminded him and hugged him, resting her head easily on his chest, near his shoulder.

“I know, but,” He started to argue.

“No but’s. Is Alexander mad at you or anyone for what happened that night?” Liz looked up at him.

“Well he didn’t say anything like that-” Hercules started.

“Then until he does, you don’t worry about any of it. Okay? He’s alive, he’s well, I know you think it’s your fault but I promise you it’s not. You did your very best, and that was pretty damn good.”

Hercules nodded a bit. “You’re right. Thank you dear.” He smiled at his wife.

“Of course.” She smiled back. “You’re gonna be okay?” She asked quietly.

“With you by my side? Always.” Hercules smiled softly at her and pecked her lips.

Liz happily kissed him back. “Good. By the way I promised the kids that you would come in and say goodnight when you got home. They didn’t wanna go to bed without saying goodnight to you. They’re probably asleep by now though, at least I hope they are.” Liz told Hercules.

He nodded a bit. “I’ll go up and do that just in case.”

She smiled and stole another quick kiss. “Best of husbands, best of men, and best of dads.” Liz told Hercules.

Hercules smiled back and headed upstairs, quietly sneaking into William’s room, kissing his son on the forehead, adjusting his blanket then sneaking back out into the hallway where Mary was standing.

“Hi daddy!” She said quietly, yet excitedly.

“What are you doing out of bed pumpkin?” Hercules asked, walking over and scooping her up.

“I heard you come home, I wanted to say goodnight.” She explained rubbing her eyes a bit.

“You should be asleep.” Hercules told her gently as he placed her back in her bed.

“I know daddy, I just missed you.” Mary admitted.

“I missed you too, pumpkin.”

“Did you have a good time with your friend?” Mary asked as Hercules tucked her in.

Hercules smiled. “Yes I did. Now go to sleep. I love you.” He told Mary and kissed her head.

“Goodnight daddy. I love you too.”

Hercules smiled and left her bedroom, pulling the door shut most of the way, but leaving it open a crack, just how she liked it. It really had been a good night.


	6. I Have Been Looking For You

Alex was sitting at his desk as work, it was nearing the end of the day and he was just finishing up when there was a knock on the door. He had his suit jacket over the back of his chair, his dress-shirt sleeves rolled and his tie was loosened, he was working hard to get everything done on time for the night and stuffy clothing wasn’t helpful. A couple months had gone by since he reconnected with Hercules, and it was now May. Lafayette had been in DC and Angelica in California so they still hadn’t gotten the whole group together yet. “Come in!” Alex called out to whomever had knocked.

George came in. “Alexander,” He started.

Alex quickly stood, suddenly gasping a bit and grabbing the desk to steady himself. “Sir.” He acted as though nothing was wrong.

“Is something wrong, Alexander?” George asked.

“Nothing.” Alex didn’t exactly lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. “What do you need sir?”

“I just wanted to come and give you this. It’s an invitation. Me and Martha are having a barbecue, first of the season. Lafayette is coming from DC for it, and Angelica should be back in time to attend. Everyone else has said they’ll be there.” George handed Alex a small envelope.

Alex nodded and took the envelope. “Alright. Thank you for the invitation sir, I’m sure I’ll be able to make it. I’ll be sure to RSVP when I know for sure.” Alex promised.

“Wonderful.” George went to leave Alex’s office. “And Alexander,” He turned back to face Alex, “You don’t have to stand every time I enter the room. Especially if you don’t have your leg on properly.”

Alex looked down and realized it was obvious that he had shifted his stump out of the prosthetic without actually taking his pants or anything off, which is why he had gasped and grabbed the desk. He’d forgotten and nearly fell over when Washington came in. He nodded a bit. “Yes sir.”

George nodded as well and left the room.

Alex fixed his prosthetic so it was back on, then sat down and returned to his work.

Later that evening when Alex was at home, reading when he got a phone call. He quickly set his book down, still holding onto it so he wouldn’t lose his page and answered the phone without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Bonjour.” Lafayette greeted.

“What’s up Laf?” Alex asked as he put a bookmark into his book.

“I was wondering if you’re invited to Washington’s barbecue.”

“Yeah I am. You’re gonna be there, right?” Alex asked as he got up and walked back to his kitchen to get himself another cup of tea.

“Yep. Martha Washington is a master on the grill and George is an amazing cook, the food is always so good. I love dinners and barbecues with them. You better be coming too mon ami.”

“I am.” Alex promised. “It was kinda awkward when Washington came into my office to give me the invitation though.” Alex admitted as he poured himself his tea.

“What happened?” Lafayette asked, Alex could tell from the background noise that Laf was pouring himself a glass of wine.

“Well every now and then the prosthetic just gets uncomfortable and that happened today at work, so I kinda just, shimmied it off without taking my pants or anything off because I was sitting at my desk so it was fine. Then Washington comes in and I stand up to greet him and I nearly fell over because I didn’t put my stupid leg back on.” Alex explained as he added a bit of lemon juice and sugar to his tea then went back to his armchair.

“Mon dieu, that must’ve been fun.”

“Well he noticed so yeah it was. He was all, ‘you don’t have to stand whenever I enter a room’, paused, then added ‘especially if you don’t have your leg on’. I nearly died.”

Lafayette laughed. “Did you learn your lesson to not take your leg off at work?” Lafayette teased.

Alex laughed and continued talking on the phone with Lafayette for a while, before they hung up so Alex could return to his book, and Lafayette his episode of ‘The Real Housewives’.

\---

Eliza looked over as John flopped down in a chair at the nurse’s station in the ER. “That exhausted huh?” She asked.

“Eliza I worked in the ER for 12 hours then got pulled into an exploratory laparotomy that turned into a partial colectomy with complications. The dude crashed like 4 times, and the surgery was like 7 hours instead of 4. It’s a miracle he made it off the table.” John explained shaking his head a bit.

Eliza nodded in understanding as she continued to jot something down in a patient chart. “So are you going to the barbecue next weekend?” She asked.

“Definitely. I can’t wait to see everyone.” John smiled as he pulled his surgical cap off and stuffed it in his pocket.

Eliza nodded. “Me, Maria, Philip, Angie, and Peggy were all invited too. It’ll be nice.”

John nodded in agreement. “I can’t wait to get some of Martha’s barbecue and George’s potato salad. Geniuses in the kitchen, both of them.” He grinned.

Eliza rolled her eyes and chuckled. “It is pretty good food.” She admitted.

“I mean like, I can do okay barbecue but Martha’s is like, next level. Reminds me of barbecue in South Carolina.”

Eliza nodded a bit.

“It looks quiet down here, I think I’m gonna go home and sleep now. I can do charts tomorrow.” John said and yawned.

“You look like you need it.” Eliza chuckled a bit. “Sleep well. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

\---

Soon it was the morning of Washington’s barbecue. The invitation gave off the impression that it was just an arrive whenever kinda thing, so Alex said he’d be there for 6pm. 

Alex was excited to see all his old friends in the same place at the same time, the whole group together. His excitement was only hindered by the fact that he knew John wouldn’t be there, and that would make it real that he was gone.

After breakfast Alex got up and grabbed a small photo album from his office, it had pictures with him and his friends from Iraq. There weren’t many pictures in it and he didn’t look at them often.

He looked through the photo album for a while, staring at the pictures of the old group. He lingered extra long on photos of John, then ended up closing the album before he could start crying. He put it back on the shelf and went on with his day.

He did his regular Saturday grocery shopping and then got home and put the groceries away. He read for a while, and then tried to figure out what to wear. In the end he called Hercules.

“Hello?” Hercules answered after a couple rings.

“Hercules, what the hell am I supposed to wear to this barbecue?” Alex asked, staring at the clothes in his closet.

“Just the standard barbecue clothes.”

“What the fuck are barbecue clothes?” Alex asked exasperatedly.

“Like, clothes you wear to a barbecue? Also language, you’re on speaker and the kids are coming and going.” Hercules told him.

“Which are what? I’ve never gone to a barbecue.” Alex admitted.

“Wait are you serious?”

“Yes I’m serious Herc. Help me out here.”

“It’s like, high end casual. No sweatpants, but not dress pants. Jeans, or it’s really warm out so shorts would be even better comfort wise. Plus no one at the barbecue would stare at your leg if you do. Minus maybe the kids.” Hercules told him.

“What kinda shirt? I’m thinking I’ll wear cargo shorts.” Alex asked as he opened his dresser drawer that held the few pairs of shorts that he owned.

“Nothing crazy. Knowing your style I would go with like a polo shirt or a short sleeve button up.” Hercules instructed.

“Alright. So like, if I wear cargo shorts and a short sleeve button up shirt that’s cool?” Alex seemed nervous about it as he looked at his short sleeve button ups.

“Yes. Calm down. It’s fine dude. You’re stressed over nothing.”

“Okay.” Alex nodded a bit. He checked the time, it was 4 and he would need time to get ready and drive there. “Alright well I gotta get ready.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye Herc.” 

“Bye.” Hercules hung up and Alex went to get ready.

He dressed in a red, blue, and white checker-pattern short sleeve button up shirt with beige cargo shorts. Alex felt weird wearing shorts even though it was 80 degrees out. He rarely wore shorts, because people would stare at the prosthetic, but Hercules was right, everyone who was going that he was aware of knew about his leg, and he didn’t mind kids staring or even asking questions, as most of the time it was out of genuine curiosity or concern, whereas adults did it out of rudeness. Adults had the capability to understand that he was an amputee, and stared anyway, whereas most young kids didn’t have experience with it and didn’t realize that a person could be missing a body part. Alex pulled his hair into a ponytail and grabbed his phone, wallet, keys, and sunglasses, and left.

The drive from Manhattan to Brooklyn was a bit of a longer one due to traffic, but it beat taking the subway in Alex’s mind. Soon he got to the Washingtons’ house.

It was a large, white house, with a black roof, and a red door. It almost seemed out of place for NYC, but Alex reminded himself that the Washington’s were well off and they were practically outside of the city almost. There was a driveway, leading to an attached garage at the side of the house. Music could be heard coming from the backyard. Alex parked his car and went to the door, ringing the bell.

The door was soon pulled open by George. He smiled. “Alexander, come on in.” He held the door open wider and stepped aside. He was wearing a black and green flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled and simple blue jeans. It had to be the most casual Alex had ever seen him dressed. “I’m glad you made it!”

Alex smiled back as he stepped inside. “Thank you again for inviting me.”

George nodded. “I was just finishing some stuff up in the kitchen, everyone else is out in the backyard.” George led Alex through the house towards the kitchen that had large french doors and opened up into the back yard. The kitchen was bright, with white counter tops and cupboards, against dark flooring. It was open to the living room, which had a beautiful, dark stone fireplace, and was organized for the purpose of entertaining rather than watching TV or lounging.

Alex nodded. “Do you need help with anything?” He asked.

“I can manage. Most of it’s done anyway, just needs to get taken outside.”

“Well then I insist. I can carry a bowl or two outside.” Alex pushed.

He nodded a bit. “Alright then, can I get you to take the potato salad and that regular salad out. I’ve got everything else.” George told him. “All the food goes on the table on the patio, next to the grill.”

Alex nodded and grabbed the bowls. He took them and headed outside.

The backyard was large. The patio was roofed in well, so one could be outside and be protected from rain or snow. There was the barbecue and a long table with some food, paper plates, plastic cutlery, and condiments set out on one side of the patio, and on the other side were a couple of comfy outdoor chairs and a hammock. The rest of the yard had a built in fire pit, and a large garden at the back.

Alex didn’t pay much attention to who was outside as he took the bowls of food and set them down on the table.

“Hello, you must be Alexander.” Martha smiled from where she was standing and working the grill. “I’ve heard so many good things about you, it’s wonderful to finally meet you.” Martha was around the same age as George, and had a darker complexion than her husband, more like Lafayette and Angelica’s. She was dressed in a pink and white flannel shirt and blue jeans with her hair neatly tied back. Alex thought it was kind of cute that her and George’s outfits were sort of matching each other.

“It’s lovely to meet you too.” Alex smiled back.

“I hope you brought an empty stomach, there’s lots of food and my husband is a master chef in my professional opinion.”

“So I’ve heard.” Alex chuckled. “You have a very nice house, Martha, and your yard is, a rare delight, for being in New York City.”

“It’s been in George’s family for a long time.” Martha explained. “Well, food is coming. Burgers will be about 5 minutes, hot dogs maybe two or three, and I’m throwing steaks on after.”

Alex nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Go talk to everyone while you wait, soak in some sun, it’s beautiful today.” Martha recommended.

Alex nodded again and wandered off, taking a moment to actually look at the people in the yard. Lots of lawn chairs had been set up as well as a couple tables. Hercules was sitting in a lawn chair, holding Liz’s hand. There was an empty chair on the other side of Hercules. Hercules was in black cargo shorts and a navy polo shirt. He was watching as Mary, William, and another child Alex didn’t recognize, chased each other around the yard. Liz was soaking up the sun, wearing a white, flower patterned sundress with large black rimmed sunglasses on, Mary was also wearing a sundress, but hers was pink in color, and William wore green shorts and a t-shirt with a T-Rex on it. The child Alex didn’t recognize, a boy, looked about Mary’s age and was wearing blue shorts and a black and grey striped shirt, he had longer curly hair, and freckles, and his skin tone fell somewhere between Caucasian and Puerto rican, much like Alex’s. 

Angelica, who was in blue jeans and a pink shirt with long sleeves, but no shoulders, and Lafayette, who was in black jeans with a light purple button up shirt with the sleeves rolled, as well as a couple other people Alex didn’t recognize were talking near the fire pit. One girl had medium brown skin, similar to Lafayette’s, and long wavy dark brown hair was wearing a red t-shirt with blue denim shorts overalls. She was standing next to a pale girl who may or may not be colored that was keeping an eye on the kids as well. The pale girl had straight black hair and was wearing a light blue low cut tank top, with black denim shorts and a black shawl-like cardigan. The last girl had skin lighter than Lafayette’s, and curlier hair, was wearing a short yellow sundress. Lafayette left the group and began walking towards Alex with a smile on his face.

Suddenly someone came up behind Alex and walked by before he could realize who it was.

Alex looked to see who it was, but from the back all he saw was curly hair in a ponytail, a white t-shirt, and blue jeans. He couldn’t tell who it was.

“Excuse me.” The person, a guy, mumbled as he walked past.

The voice told Alex who it was, but he couldn’t believe it for a second. “Hey.” He called out, so the guy would turn around.

The guy turned around, and sure enough, it was John Laurens, staring back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops my hand slipped-


	7. With Only The Memories Of When You Were Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's the next chapter! It's an angsty one-
> 
> TW: Discussions of hallucinations, talk to blood and injury, sort of panic attacks, light discussion of panic attacks

“A- Alexander?” John asked, his eyes wide in disbelief.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” Alex mumbled, more-so to himself than to John. Alex was so shocked by seeing John that he was frozen, he couldn’t make his arms and legs move get closer to John if someone offered him a million dollars to do it.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.” John seemed shocked. “I can’t believe you’re ali-” He paused, then his face fell, and he put his head in his hands. “Oh fuck, you’re not actually here, this is just another hallucination.” He said to himself, his eyes welling with tears.

“John, I-.” Alex started, but he was trying to process everything and couldn’t get anything effective out in time. Words failed him and he still was frozen, unable to move and at this point, a little scared to try and touch John even if he could.

John was already walking over to Angelica and the other girls. “Eliza I need to go.” He told her quietly and rushedly, obviously in a bit of a panic to say the least.

“What’s wrong John?” Eliza asked softly, turning to him. She hadn’t seen what just went down because she was deep in conversation with her sisters and wife. She set her drink down on a nearby table and crossed her arms, obviously concerned for him.

“I thought these new meds were working well, and they have been, but now, they- they’re not, I’m, I’m hallucinating again.” John was beginning to cry. He hated crying in front of people, but he couldn’t help it, hallucinations of Mathew or Alex always made him cry no matter how hard he tried to not. John tried to quickly wipe the tears away but they just kept coming.

“What are you hallucinating John?” Eliza asked gently, she knew he had dealt with hallucinations before, some mundane, just seeing Alex or Mathew in regular everyday places, and some were horrifying, like reliving their death/incident or seeing them in random places bloody and dying, begging for help. She grabbed her purse that was on the table and pulled something out of it.

“Alexander, again, he’s standing on the patio.” John whispered, refusing to look over.

Angelica, who was listening to John and Eliza talk the whole time, turned to John and gently touched his arm. “It’s not a hallucination.” Angelica said softly.

John looked up at her, then at Alex again, despite his vision being blurry with tears meaning he couldn’t make out anything clearly. “How can it not be?” He whispered.

“Because I see him too. We all see him, because he really is here.” Angelica told him.

“H- how?” John croaked.

“We’ve all been reconnecting with him. He needed time, lots of time, between each reconnection. We all assumed he just needed longer before reconnecting with you. I didn’t even think about the fact that you both would be here tonight.” Angelica explained, seeming upset with herself for not thinking of it. 

“How long has he been back in your lives? Who all has he reconnected with? Everyone else but me?” John almost seemed angry now crossing his arms and still wiping tears away as they came.

“Washington found him and they reconnected in November, right after the election, he wanted Alex to come run the city budget. We’ve been slowly reconnecting with him one at a time ever since then.”

“Wait November? It’s May! You’ve known where he was for 7 months and you didn’t think in all that time to maybe, just maybe, give me a heads up?! Why did no one tell me we found him?”

“You’ve been fighting with figuring out the new meds for months, we were gonna tell you as soon as you got it all sorted out.” Eliza told him. “We didn’t have an exact moment planned but, we were gonna do it soon, I promise.”

“You knew about this too?” John asked, turning to Eliza. “I take it Peggy and the children knew before I did as well then? Was I the last person to know he’s back?”

“It was for both his and your mental health. We didn’t mean to keep you apart, John, we just wanted to wait and make sure that you guys wouldn’t get messed up too badly if you reconnected.” Angelica explained. 

John still seemed upset, but looked at Angelica to continue.

“Eliza said you were a mess with the meds situation just a couple months ago, that work was the only place you were properly dealing with things, and that wasn’t the ideal mental state to tell you this kind of news in.”

“Angelica I spent years being hung up on him! Thinking he was dead! Going over every little thing! For years! And you didn’t think to give me the heads up that we found him?! Knowing he was back 7 months ago could’ve saved me a lot of heartbreak, Angelica! It could’ve made the meds situation easier to handle! Obviously you guys didn’t think about that, now did you?” John didn’t yell, but he definitely was upset with her.

“John we didn’t mean it like that. We thought we were doing what’s best for the both of you.” Angelica tried to make him understand it from her and everyone else’s point of view.

John glanced back over at the patio, where Alex had been standing, but he was gone now. John hugged himself tightly. “I thought he was dead all this time. I spent 5 years praying we would find him and then 10 years trying to accept that he was gone.” John whispered as more tears began to fall.

“I know you did but he’s not. He’s here. I’m sure he wants to talk to you.” Angelica said reassuringly.

“I don’t know if I can do it. I can barely breathe right now.” John whispered again.

Eliza began rubbing his back. “Hey, let’s come over here.” She said and led him into the garden, towards a wooden porch swing that sat at the very back, hidden behind all the plants, so no one could really see them from the patio or most of the yard. The swing was dark wood, with bright blue cushions. “You’re okay.” Eliza spoke softly to John. She sat down, subtly hinting that he should too.

John sat down on the swing and worked to steady his breathing. “I thought he was dead.”

“I know.” Eliza continued to rub his back, softly and reassuringly with one hand and with the other she opened a little to go package of Kleenex and handed one to him. “Here.”

“Thanks.” John took the tissue, but didn’t use it yet. He was quiet for a moment, focusing on steadying his breathing so this wouldn’t become an actual panic attack. After a moment he spoke. “He’s really here? He’s really alive?” John asked, still in disbelief.

“Yes John, he’s really here, and he’s really alive.” Eliza told him softly. “He’s been in New York all this time. This city really is huge.” Eliza chuckled a bit.

“I haven’t seen him since the incident.” John used the tissue to dry his face then crumpled it up and held onto it tightly.

“I know.”

“He looks, gosh, I don’t know if I can explain it. He looks so much like himself, but different at the same time? The leg is new, and his hair is longer, his face has aged, and he’s got the circle beard now but, he still looks so much like he did 15 years ago. He almost looks, more himself than he did all those years ago. That probably doesn’t make any sense.”

Eliza nodded a bit. “No, it does. Some people look better or more themselves the older they get. I mean, could you really imagine George without wrinkles? Or with hair?” Eliza smiled.

John thought for a moment. “Nope. Can’t do it. George just, appeared one day fully-grown in his mid forties with wrinkles.” John chuckled a bit.

Eliza smiled at John. “One could say the same thing about a lot of us, everyone has little features that make them look more themselves. I don’t look like myself with curly hair and I don’t think you’re ever gonna be able to pull off facial hair. Meanwhile Lafayette would look totally different without his facial hair, I’m pretty sure if he shaved and the kids saw him, they wouldn’t recognize him at all.”

“That’s probably true. I might even need a moment if I saw Laf clean shaven.” John chuckled, then went quiet for a moment. “Everything, all the memories, all the feelings are just, coming flooding back.”

“It makes sense that that’s happening, and I know it’s scary, but look at the plus side. He’s here. And alive and well. You’ve got the chance to reconnect with him.”

“I, I never thought I’d see him again. I thought seeing him blown up would be my last memory of him.”

“I know, but now it’s not.” Eliza told him.

John nodded a bit. “It’s not.”

\---

Alex watched as John walked away, and felt like he was being stabbed in the chest. He stood there, still frozen.

Lafayette watched John walk over to the sisters and Maria, then looked back at Alex. “How about we go inside?” He asked Alex gently, sensing that Alex was upset.

Alex stayed frozen for a moment, then nodded a bit but didn’t move to go inside at all.

Lafayette put an arm around his shoulder and led him inside the house, then guided him to sit him down on the couch in the living room.

“You guys never talked about him. I thought he died.” Alex’s eyes began to fill with tears. “Everything is just, coming back now.”

Lafayette frowned and sat down as well. “He is fine. We never talked about him because we did not know how you would feel about it. We must have all forgotten that the two of you would be here or assumed someone else already took care of it. I am sorry for that.”

“I spent 15 years just thinking he was off somewhere, probably South Carolina, with a husband and like, kids, happy and living his life. Then I reconnected with everyone and no one ever talked about him. I thought he died and I couldn’t bear to ask because I knew it would hurt too much to actually hear it. I almost fully accepted that he was gone.” Alex explained.

“I am sorry that we did not speak of him to you, Alex.” Lafayette looked down, he obviously felt bad about it.

“Everything from that night is coming back.” Alex mumbled to Laf, wincing as though he was in pain and sucking in a breath.

“Are you okay? You look like you are in pain.” Lafayette frowned.

“It’s my leg.” Alex mumbled, sighing a bit.

“Did you fall and hurt yourself? How did you hurt your leg?” Lafayette looked concerned.

“I didn’t.” Alex said bluntly. “It’s called phantom limb pain. I’m feeling pain in my leg that’s gone.” He explained. “I haven’t experienced it in years. Usually people only deal with it for a couple months or a year after the amputation but my doctor said that I might experience it as a sort of PTSD symptom almost because of how I lost it. I guess thinking about everything caused the pain to flare up again.” Alex explained further, frowning down at his prosthetic.

“How do you fix it? If there is nothing physically wrong to fix?” Lafayette frowned more.

Alex didn’t respond to Lafayette. “I should’ve stayed home.” Alex mumbled to himself. He pulled his the leg of his shorts up and pressed a button on his prosthetic, and held it down for a moment, there was a quiet sound of air moving, then finally he pulled the prosthetic off and leaned it against the the part of the couch that was behind him, as he was sitting on it sideways, in the middle.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Lafayette asked as he watched Alex take his leg off, concerned for his friend.

Alex didn’t respond again, he was focused on taking his leg off, hoping that it would relieve some of the pain. Once the prosthetic was off, he pulled off the sleeve, freeing his stump. He breathed a small sigh of relief when the sleeve was off.

Martha then came into the living room. “What’s going on over here? I didn’t realize that the party was take-you-leg-off wild.” Martha chuckled a bit. She had been in the house when Alex ran into John and didn’t realize what had happened. She could tell something was wrong, hoped it was nothing too serious and that cracking the joke would help whatever it was that was going on.

“He said he is having, uh, ghost leg pain?” Lafayette said to Martha. Lafayette knew the words phantom and limb, but in the new context, mixed with the worry for his friend, he used the first translations for the words his mind offered.

“Phantom limb pain.” Martha said softly. “Alexander, is there anything we can do to help?” She touched his shoulder gently.

“Sometimes just taking the prosthetic off and repositioning the stump helps but, it’s really painful so I don’t know if it will.” He sighed, rubbing the stump a bit. He grabbed one of the throw pillows that were behind him. “You don’t mind if I use this to prop up my stump, do you?” He asked Martha.

“Not at all. Go ahead dear, do whatever you need to do.” Martha told him. “If you want, I can get you some lotion, so you can massage it.” She offered.

Alex nodded. “Please.” He then propped up his stump and sat back for a moment. “The original amputation was really bad, they managed to close the wound before flying me to Germany but it was really rough and a patch job, in Germany they actually had to do a surgery to fix it so it would heal nicely, otherwise I would’ve ended up having a really hard time wearing a prosthetic.” Alex told Laf as he looked down at the stump. It was even and you couldn’t tell by looking at it that the leg had been blown off as opposed to having it safely removed in the hospital, there was a large thick scar right at the bottom of the stump but that was about it for scarring, it looked like the ideal picture of a healthy residual limb.

Lafayette nodded a bit.

“I can’t believe John is here.” Alex said after a moment, in an attempt to distract himself from the pain. “And his reaction to seeing me. What was that? He thought I was a hallucination?”

“He became mentally unwell, much like you did. It was very bad for a long time, because he did not want to admit that he needed help.” Lafayette explained.

Alex nodded a bit.

Martha then returned with a bottle of lotion, which she handed to Alexander. “Is there anything else I can do to help you?” She asked.

Alex took the lotion from her. “Thank you Martha. I think I’ll be okay. You can go do whatever it is you were doing, you seem busy enough tonight between hosting and running the grill.”

“I’ll be back and forth between the kitchen and the barbecue if you need anything else.” Martha smiled warmly at him and went back outside.

Alex poured some lotion into his hand and began massaging the residual limb. “I’m sorry if I scared you just now.” He told Lafayette.

“I wasn’t scared. Just worried about you.” Lafayette spoke softly.

Alex nodded. “I think this is helping a bit.” He continued massaging the stump. “When I first had this kinda pain I thought I was crazy. It hurt so bad but I was terrified to ask for help in case it wasn’t normal. It was really bad for a while. Sometimes I would sit with a mirror in between my good leg and the stump and look at the mirror so it looked like I had two legs. I would look at it for hours until the pain stopped.”

Lafayette nodded a bit.

The two talked for a couple minutes, and then the pale girl Alex didn’t know came in and looked at Alex. “Hey, uh, I know we haven’t met, but I wanted to ask you, if maybe, you would be willing to talk to John?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the words of Phillipa Soo as Eliza "I'm not sorry!"


	8. I'll Give It A Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussion of PTSD and hallucinations, discussion of drugs and drug addiction

Alex looked over at the woman as she came in and spoke to him. “He wants to talk to me?” Alex seemed surprised by this.

“Yeah he does.”

Alex nodded a bit. “Yeah, okay. Can he come in here though? I’m kinda dealing with a thing.” Alex gestured to the stump.

“Of course.” The woman told him. “I’ll send him in here.” She smiled softly and went back outside.

John soon came in. “Hi Alex.” He spoke quietly and gave a small awkward wave.

“I will give you two your privacy.” Lafayette said quickly and left the room, heading back outside.

“Hi John.” Alex responded. Part of him didn’t even believe this was happening, that he should just put his leg back on and go home. The other part of him wanted to pull John in and kiss him.

“Is your, uh, stump? Okay?” John asked, unsure of what to call Alex’s residual limb. He knew the different terms for it, he just didn’t know what Alex was used to calling it.

“It’s not a big deal.” Alex downplayed the fact that massaging his stump was making the nerve pain act up. He grabbed a Kleenex off the coffee table and wiped the excess lotion of his hands quickly. “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you again John.”

John nodded. “I, yeah, same. Can I sit?” He gestured to where Laf had been sitting just moments ago.

“Of course.” Alex nodded.

John sat down and was quiet for a moment. “I thought you were dead all these years. No one told me they were back in contact with you, because I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch.” He admitted.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Alex looked down at his stump briefly. “Is everything okay?” He looked up at John again.

“My previous meds stopped working, so I’ve been working on finding a good medication and dosage again.” John explained nervously moving his hands in a specific pattern, Alex realized that it was the motions of tying some kind of knot.

“I get that.” Alex nodded, he was tracing shapes into the back of his left hand with his other hand. “It took me a long time to balance my meds out too.”

“I’m sorry for calling you a hallucination. It’s the PTSD, I’ve dealt with some really bad ones.” John explained looking down at his moving hands as he spoke.

Alex nodded. “I dealt with that too. It’s alright, you don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”

“I guess we both got pretty fucked up huh?” John chuckled a bit looking back up at his former almost-boyfriend.

Alex nodded. “So, what have you been up to these last 15 years?” He asked, still tracing the shapes into his hand. Tracing shapes into things was something he would do when nervous, excited, or stressed, and right now, he was a little of all three. He guessed that the knot tying was John’s nervous thing.

“I finished that tour. Came back, did a medics course and went back to Iraq. I tried to serve another tour, but uh, I ended up getting honourably discharged, because of the PTSD. Apparently you can’t be in the army of the sound of a bomb going off makes you shut down and just cry for hours on end.”

Alex nodded. “I’m sorry.” He apologized because he knew that part was his fault.

“Don’t be, I never should’ve gone back in the first place.” John told him reassuringly, catching on to Alex’s feelings of guilt.

“So you came home, then what?” Alex asked.

“Well I already had my biochem degree when I joined- just like you had your political science degree when you joined- so I started med school and just, went non-stop. I wanted my medical license really badly I guess.”

“It sounds like there’s a downside to that.”

“I ignored the PTSD for years. I took some time between med school and starting my residency because apparently people want mentally stable surgeons for some strange reason?” John chuckled.

Alex chuckled and smiled. “Weirdos.” He went along with John’s joke. “So is it Doctor Sergeant Laurens or Sergeant Doctor Laurens?” Alex chuckled a bit more.

“Just Doctor.” John told him.

“So you’re a surgeon now, huh? That’s really impressive. I know that you wanted to go into medicine before joining up, it makes me happy to hear that you followed through on it.” Alex smiled a bit.

“Yep, trauma surgery. It’s fun, it’s thrilling, I’m doing something new all the time. I get to see some really interesting shit.”

“Like what?” Alex asked curiously.

“There was a patient, just last week, he ‘fell’ on an empty beer bottle- skinny end first and it got stuck. It ended up being a 6 hour surgery to remove it.”

“Yikes.” Alex chuckled a bit. “Is that what the knots are? Surgical knots?” Alex asked curiously.

John looked down at his still moving hands, like he hadn’t realized he was still doing it. “Oh, uh yeah, I- I do that sometimes when I’m nervous, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

“It’s alright. We all have our little things we do when we’re nervous.” Alex reassured him.

John smiled a bit. “What about you? What have you been up to all this time?”

“It took me a year to heal and learn to walk again, then I took some time to work on my mental health, before going to Columbia for my law degree, and becoming a lawyer. I was a lawyer for 9 years, until November, when Washington asked me to come run the city budget.”

John nodded then looked down at his hands again, still doing the knot tying motions. “You have a significant other or anything?” He asked quietly despite fearing the answer.

Alex shook his head. “No. You?”

John shook his head as well. “After, Iraq, I uh, I kinda took a page from Angie’s book. Nothing but one-night stands really, some of the group has tried to set me up on dates but, no one ever got past a second date.” John admitted.

Alex nodded. “That’s fair. I haven’t done much in the way of dating since Iraq either. It just felt wrong. The people felt wrong, doing it felt wrong, I couldn’t do it.”

“I get that.” John fell quiet for a moment. “I should’ve gone that night. I should’ve been the one who risked their life for the group and who lost a leg.” He said after a moment. “Your sacrifice meant a lot, but you never should’ve had to make it, Alexander.”

“Don’t say that. I’m fine, living with one leg, it was tough at first, now it’s fine. I’m not mad at you for that night, so don’t be mad at yourself. It’s all in the past now.”

John was quiet. “What’s wrong? Right now with your stump I mean.” He asked, trying to change the subject.

“Phantom limb pain basically, my leg that’s gone is hurting.”

John nodded a bit. “I know what that is.” He referred to the PLP.

“Right.” Alex nodded a bit. “For me massaging the stump helps the PLP but there’s nerve damage so it’s painful to massage. Usually I have a good cream that helps, but, I don’t have any here.” He explained.

John nodded again. “I’m sorry. Was the nerve pain caused by the amputation itself or?”

“No, they patched that in Iraq and in Germany did a surgery to clean it up and even the stump out. The nerve damage was caused by a shitty fitting prosthetic when I was first learning to walk again. I didn’t realize it wasn’t supposed to be so painful to wear a prosthetic, because they told me it might feel a bit uncomfortable at first.” Alex explained.

“Does pain medication help?” John asked.

“I try not to take anything unless it’s really bad. When my leg was amputated it hurt like hell, they had me on Fentanyl for the pain it was so bad. It was tricky weaning me off the opioids and it wasn’t exactly pretty. I was in so much pain but I was leaving the hospital soon, and luckily at some point I was in it enough to make the doctors promise not to write me a prescription for opioids because I knew if I started taking them in pill form I probably wouldn’t stop. I try to stay away from medication if I can for that reason. I mean, I know that I won’t become a druggie if I take a Tylenol 3, but, I just prefer to save that stuff for when it’s really bad.” Alex explained.

“That’s really smart of you Alexander. All the time I see my fellow surgeons writing prescriptions for oxy or god knows what else and when I know the patient can probably get by without the opioids I just wanna scream at the doctor because I know that there’s a decent chance that the patient is gonna get addicted and it’s so easily avoidable.” John shook his head. “Do you wanna try ice maybe? For the pain?”

“Actually yeah. Sometimes when it’s bad I’ll put some Capsaicin cream in the freezer to get cold and it works really well.”

John nodded. “Well, I don’t know if George and Martha have Capsaicin cream, but they definitely have ice. I’ll go get you some.” He left the room.

Soon John returned with an ice pack. “Here.” He handed it to Alex.

Alex took it, and by accident, his fingers brushed against John’s, and suddenly he had butterflies in his stomach. “Thanks John.” He did his best to act like nothing was wrong.

“Of course. “ John smiled softly.

The two continued catching up for a while, before the light-skinned girl came back. “Angelica said I should come check on you guys. Make sure everyone was still alive and fully clothed.” She chuckled.

John laughed a bit. “We’re good. Uh Alex I don’t think you two have met. This is Eliza, Angelica’s younger sister. Eliza this is Alex.” John introduced.

“It’s lovely to meet you.” Alex smiled at her. “I knew Angelica had sisters but I never saw any pictures, and well...” He trailed off, unsure how to get his point across without being offensive.

“We don’t exactly look related?” Eliza offered.

“Yeah.” Alex admitted.

“It’s alright. We get it a lot.” Eliza chuckled a bit.

Alex nodded. “So which one is your other sister and who’s the other one?” Alex looked out the window at the girl in the yellow sundress and the girl in the overalls. “And who is that little boy playing with Mary and William?”

“The one in the sundress is Peggy, our youngest sister. The one in the red shirt is my wife, Maria, and the little boy is our son, Philip.” Eliza smiled as she explained.

“Is anyone here straight?” Alex asked with a chuckle.

“I think Martha and the Colonel are safe to assume.” John pointed out.

“I guess so.” Alex smiled.

“It’s the gaydar. All the queers are just, drawn to each other.” Eliza chuckled. “There’s actually studies that suggest lesbians can smell other lesbians subconsciously via pheromones, it was fascinating and makes college make a lot more sense.”

John laughed a bit.

“Interesting.” Alex mumbled.

“We’ll be outside soon, Eliza, we just need a little more time, alright? We’re good.” John said softly.

She nodded and left.

“You wanna head outside soon?” John asked.

“I wanna talk to everyone but I don’t want to put my leg back on.” Alex admitted. “If I were at home right now I’d probably just go to bed.”

John nodded a bit. “I’m sorry.”

Alex shook his head. “It’s fine. I keep crutches in my car in case of emergencies like this. Would- would you mind getting them for me? They’re right in the trunk you can’t miss ‘em.” Alex asked.

“Yeah sure. Just give me your car keys.” John said as he stood up.

Alex handed them over. “It’s the blue Toyota Corolla.”

“You say that as though I know what a Toy-Yoda casserole looks like.” John teased. It had been a joke among the group in Iraq that John didn’t know anything about cars that had started after him admitting one night that as a child he meant to learn about cars and then he forgot.

Alex chuckled, recalling all the jokes they used to make on the subject. “If you get confused you can always hit the panic button.” He smiled at John.

“I’ll be alright. I actually did take some time to learn a little about cars, mostly so Angie would stop straight up roasting me.”

“Yeah she can be a little savage at times huh?” Alex chuckled.

John nodded in agreement, then went to go get Alex’s crutches.

Alex was happy to have found John, incredibly happy about it, but in the back of his mind, he was worried because he had no idea where they were at. He thought he’d gotten over John, but seeing him, and when they accidentally brushed hands, well it became abundantly clear that the reason Alex couldn’t date anyone after John. it must’ve been that he wasn’t over the southerner. He had no idea how John felt though, and decided it might be best to keep the feelings to himself.

Soon Alex and John rejoined everyone in the backyard, where almost everyone was eating already.

“We’re back.” John announced to Hercules, William, Martha, and a couple others who were sitting on the outdoor couch and armchairs that were set up at the end of the patio. 

“Everything’s alright?” Martha asked, seeming worried upon seeing Alex on crutches.

“I’m okay. Just, didn’t want to put my leg back on is all.” Alex explained as he sat down and put his crutches down, making sure they were in a position where no one could trip over them.

“Alright, if you need anything, let me know.” Martha smiled softly.

William pulled on his dad’s shirt. “Daddy, where is his leg?” He asked, loudly enough that Alex could hear.

Hercules’s face fell when he realized Alex could hear what William had said. “Well, uh,” He didn’t know where to start.

Alex gave Hercules a look to let him know it was okay, then turned his attention to William. “I lost it. Now I have a robot leg, but sometimes it gets itchy so I took the robot leg off.”

“Can I lose my leg?” William asked curiously.

“No. I did something really really bad, and I lost it. So as long as you’re good, you’ll be safe!” Alex smiled, it might have seemed a little harsh. However Alex found from talking with parents and other amputees that the concept was actually easier for children to grasp and that usually at least for a little while would make them behave better.

“Daddy is he right?” William asked his dad.

“Yes he is.” Hercules nodded. “But you’re a very good boy, so you don’t have to worry.” He kissed William’s head.

The evening continued on and Alex found himself smiling at the people around him. He barely noticed the pain in his stump as he was too busy being happily surrounded by his old friends, all of them, for the first time in too long.


	9. Raise A Glass... Or Maybe Don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussions of alcoholism

At the end of the night Alex had exchanged details with John, and everyone went their separate ways. Hercules carried William to their car because he had fallen asleep and Liz reassured Mary that they would be home soon and she could sleep. John was walking home which concerned Alex at first, until John explained it was a five minute walk. Angelica and Peggy left together, and Eliza, Maria, and Philip obviously all left together as well with Philip on Maria’s back because he told his mother he was ‘too tired to walk’ and gave a pouty face. They got into their car and drove off, leaving Alex and Lafayette the only one’s left at the Washingtons’.

“Laf how’d you get here?” Alex asked, realizing the only other car left parked outside of the Washington’s house was his own. He had eventually put his leg back on as his stump was feeling better and the crutches were getting bothersome to say the least. He had gathered his belongings and was about to leave. As was Lafayette; Martha and George were seeing them out.

“I took the subway.” Lafayette told Alex, looking at him like it was no big deal.

“It’s like, 11 pm, it’ll take you forever to get back to Manhattan. Plus like, it’s the subway. Let me drive you.” Alex offered.

“It is fine mon ami, I do not mind the subway. Plus I would not want to put you out.”

“Lafayette you live like 4 blocks away from me. You’re not putting me out, I already would have to drive by your apartment building anyway. Come on. The subway is gross and the people on it are weird as shit, especially this late at night.”

“Let him drive you, with your luck the subway will be off-schedule and you won’t be home until 1am.” Martha told Lafayette.

“Martha’s right. They’re doing maintenance all weekend, and with your luck it’ll be your lines tonight.” Washington told Lafayette.

“Fine.” Lafayette sighed as he caved.

“Thank you, Lafayette, it’ll bring me peace of mind. And Alexander, it was lovely meeting you. I’m sorry you had such difficulties with your leg tonight.” Martha told Alex.

“It’s not at all your fault, you were a wonderful host and your food was amazing. Thank you so much for inviting me.” Alex smiled.

“Of course, you’re one of us.” Martha smiled back at him.

Alex just smiled more, it felt good to be referred to as one of the group, especially seeing as he had been out of contact with them for so long.

Soon Alex and Lafayette were in Alex’s car, driving home. “So,” Lafayette started. “So what happened with John earlier? Like, what did you two talk about?”

“Just, our lives since Iraq I guess.” Alex shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road.

Lafayette nodded. “What was it like? Seeing him after so long I mean.” Lafayette looked at him.

“I don’t even know how to describe it really. It was like getting punched in the stomach and finding out I won a million dollars all at once.” Alex kept his eyes on the road, still focused on it, but also obviously focused very much on the conversation. He let his brain drive on autopilot as he manually put effort into the conversation.

“How so?”

“Well, I had thought he was dead, ya know? But he’s not, he’s alive and here and he seemed happy. I mean, I think I got a taste of how you guys felt with my disappearance and my return into your lives.” Alex explained.

Lafayette nodded in agreement to Alex’s comparison. “He is much happier now. It took him some time to get to where he is, and it is still not perfect, but he’s doing quite well now.” Lafayette agreed.

“Part of me wanted to leave and just go home and cry, but at the same time, all those old feelings came rushing back, and I wanted to try to redo our kiss from Iraq.” Alex admitted.

“You still have feelings for him?” Lafayette sounded a little surprised, but not overly so.

“I thought I was over him but seeing him again tonight brought everything back up, like it was never gone.” Alex explained. “And his hair is so much longer now, it suits him so much better.” Alex added, thinking about how beautiful John’s hair looked now that it was longer.

“It certainly does. That was one thing I did not enjoy about joining up, was buzzing off all of my hair.” Lafayette put a hand on his head, over his hair. “I nearly cried.” He admitted.

Alex nodded and chuckled. “Agreed, I prefer my longer hair too.” He chuckled a bit then went quiet for a moment. “I’m proud of John, for becoming a doctor I mean. He talked about doing it a lot in Iraq, I’m glad he did it after all. And to become a surgeon, I mean, like, that’s even more impressive.”

“We all found our callings.” Lafayette smiled.

Alex nodded. “I guess we did.”

Soon Alex dropped Lafayette off at home, and then went home himself, falling asleep as soon as he hit his bed, exhausted from the emotional roller coaster of a day he’d had.

Alex didn’t talk a lot with John after the barbecue in the week after, partially because texting almost felt forced, and partially because John worked weird and long hours. Then, a week later after the barbecue on Saturday again, Lafayette texted Alex around 3pm. Alex had been cleaning and doing laundry all day, as part of his routine, one Saturday was grocery shopping and some cleaning of the house, then the next was a laundry day with other cleaning things, while Sundays were for meal prepping for the week ahead.

[Hey, me, John, Hercules, and Angie are having a sort of guys night tonight, would you like to join?] Lafayette’s message read.

[Lafayette, why do I hear ‘guys night’ and picture strippers being involved? Lol.] Alex responded back. 

He wouldn’t put a last minute planned trip to the strip club past Lafayette or Angelica, or maybe even John, but Hercules was another story. Alex honestly didn’t know what to think or feel about the idea of going to a strip club with his friends, especially with John being there.

[What? No. No strippers. It is not that kind of guy's night. This is just pizza, junk food, movies, and games. We do this often, it is fun.] Laf quickly messaged back. 

[I dunno...] Alex sent in response.

Alex was relieved there would be no strippers, but he still felt unsure of hanging out with his friends. They had all been friends for at least a year before he entered their lives and had been in contact for the last 15 years. He might be close with each of them individually, but in a group setting he worried that he would feel like an outsider.

[Did Laf mention that John would be there?] Angelica sent Alex in a group chat Laf had just created with the three of them in it.

[Yes he did. I’m doing laundry and cleaning.] Alex responded.

[Please join us? Surely we are better than doing your chores.] Lafayette sent.

[Fine. Do I need to bring anything?] Alex asked.

[You don’t need to, but feel free to bring something if you want. It is at John’s tonight so it’s in Brooklyn, but it’s not too bad a drive, he’s not far from the Washingtons’.] Angelica sent.

[Okay. Laf do you need a ride there? Or back?] Alex sent.

[Back, yes please. There, no, as I am with Angelica right now and we will be heading there together shortly.] Lafayette explained.

They sorted out the rest of the details and soon Alex was getting ready to go. He had already left his house when he realized he didn’t remember to make or grab something to bring, so he stopped and picked up a case of beer, as he figured it was a safe bet and would fit right in with pizza and junk food.

Soon Alex was on John’s doorstep ringing the bell to the large house. The house was a split level home and was large on it’s own, never mind considering John lived by himself. The house was so large that the attached 3 car garage was only half the length of the house. He thought that the Washingtons’ house had been big for New York, but John’s house was big period. 

The door was soon pulled open by Angelica. “Hey loser.” She teased. “Come on in, we were just about to put on a movie and pizza should be here soon. Oh and take off your shoes, John has this whole issue with clean floors.”

“I don’t have time to mop my floors everyday and there’s carpet down here!” John’s voice called out in his own defense.

Alex stepped inside.

The doorway was off the living room, and you could see the entire floor, which consisted of the living room, kitchen, and a fair size dining area. There were two half flights of stairs, one going up, and the other going down, into what appeared to be a second, more cozy living room, while the stairs up lead to a hallway with 5 doors. Alex could see John, Lafayette, and Hercules in the living room down the stairs. 

“Cool.” Alex said to Angelica. “I felt it was only polite to bring something so I just grabbed a case of beer. I figured it would be a pretty safe bet.” He held up the case, Angelica and the boys downstairs could all see it.

Angelica looked down the stairs at John.

“It’s fine. It’s not a big deal.” John told her.

“John,” Angelica started.

“I should not have brought beer, should I?” Alex asked, sensing something was wrong.

Angelica sighed a bit and pulled him back outside onto the front step. “John obviously didn’t tell you.” She sighed a bit. “When he got back from Iraq, he threw himself into his studies, and didn’t get help dealing with the PTSD. Towards the end of med school he started drinking a lot and it got worse when he graduated, he ended up having to take some time before starting his residency.” Angelica explained. “Get what I’m saying?”

Alex looked horrified, but the feeling was directed at himself. He knew exactly what Angelica was getting at. John was an alcoholic. “I had no absolutely no idea, I never would have brought beer if I’d known.” He whispered.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad or anything and John is usually super chill when it comes to this kind of thing. He doesn’t tell a lot of people about it because like, he’s allowed to be a surgeon and an alcoholic. As long as he’s not drunk on the job like, that’s his personal life. However in the medical community, you don’t really want it out there that you’re an alcoholic. Unfortunately it can put him in a fair number of positions where he’s exposed to alcohol but he hasn’t drunk anything in years, and he’s always really good around it. Me and Laf should’ve been more specific about what you could bring. It’s not all your fault. Just, put it back in your car and keep it in mind for next time.” Angelica told Alex.

Alex nodded. “Of course.” He quickly went and put the beer in his car, then came back into the house.

John was standing in the kitchen grabbing something from the fridge when Alex got back inside.

“I’m gonna apologize.” Alex told Angelica quietly as he took his shoes off.

Angelica nodded. “I’ll leave you to it.” She said and headed back downstairs to join Lafayette and Hercules.

Alex walked towards the kitchen. It was large and had definitely been upgraded since the house was built. John had sleek black stainless steel appliances that matched the black cupboards. The floors were the same as the living room and the dining room area, they were a medium-brown wood, and the counter tops were some kind of white stone. 

“Hey. I’m really sorry about the beer. If I had any idea I never would have brought it.” Alex told John, awkwardly standing in the kitchen, still feeling awful for it.

“It’s fine. Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean everyone else has to do the same. It’s not a big deal.” John said as he continued to grab paper plates and napkins so they would be ready for when the pizza arrived.

“I get that but John, it’s your house. Your house should be a place you always know there will never be alcohol. Your house should be the one place you know you’ll always be safe.” Alex explained. “So I’m really really sorry.”

John nodded. “I appreciate the apology. We’re good.” He smiled a bit. “While we’re on the topic of drinks, can I get you anything?” He asked.

“Oh, just water is fine.” Alex said. “Your house is, really nice.” He ran a hand along the edge of the counter top absentmindedly.

“Thanks. I actually just had the kitchen redone like two years ago.” John explained as he got a glass of water for Alex.

“It looks really good. I own my apartment but I would still need permission from the building manager to do anything more than painting a wall or putting in some shelves. It kinda sucks.”

John handed Alex the water. “I get that. I hated living in apartments when I was in med school and residency. Bought this place as soon as I became an attending. Let’s head downstairs yeah?”

Alex nodded and took the glass. He walked over to the stairs, pausing as he saw they were the same hard wood as the main floor, which wasn’t super slippery, but that was flat, level flooring, and this was stairs, which Alex didn’t have to take very often, plus he was only wearing socks. “Can you hold this? Usually when I’m doing stairs I have shoes on and they’re concrete stairs, I just wanna pull my socks off so I don’t slip on the way down.” He explained to John.

“Oh shit, yeah, of course. I didn’t even think of that.” John took the water from him.

“It’s fine.” Alex reassured. He pulled the sock off his prosthetic foot first, because that one would probably be easier. Usually he would put a sock on the prosthetic before putting on the prosthetic in the morning because it was easier, but he made it work.

“Everything good Alex?” Hercules asked.

“All good. Just taking my socks off so I don’t slip coming down the stairs.” Alex explained.

“You know John, maybe mopping would be easier if you didn’t have such a big house.” Angelica suggested.

“I run a business, have two kids, and my wife has her own medical practice and between me and Liz we always find time to mop.” Hercules pointed out.

“When you live in an apartment building most of the time, your shoes are clean by the time you get to your actual apartment, and if not you should have a carpet near the door you can wipe them off on or just swap to clean shoes.” Lafayette suggested.

“Anytime y’all wanna stop bullying me that would be great.” John told them.

Alex ignored his friends’ banter as he carefully, yet still stupidly, leaned against the wall that made the stairway, still at the top and bent down. He couldn’t keep his full weight on his prosthetic leg for very long, but he figured if he was leaning against the wall and was already bent over he would only be on the prosthetic for a couple of seconds to pull his sock off his actual foot and should be fine.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. Alex lost his balance far more quickly than he planned and leaning against the wall didn’t help, and soon he found himself falling down the full set of 7 hardwood stairs.


	10. We Both Know That's Absurd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No major trigger warnings, I think that's a first for this story

Alex landed on his back at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes were squeezed shut and he hadn’t tried to stop himself from falling. Once he was at the bottom he stayed still. 

John quickly rushed down the stairs. “Are you okay?” He asked worriedly as he crouched down beside Alex.

Alex slowly sat up and groaned a bit, then started laughing.

“Alexander?” Angelica asked as she sat up, obviously more focused on what was going than she had been just moments ago. “Are you alright?”

“What is so funny?” Lafayette asked, also suddenly paying far more attention to what was happening.

Alex continued laughing for a moment. “I haven’t wiped out that bad since rehab.” He explained as he slowly began to let the laughter die down. He wiped the tears of laughter from his face.

“Are you alright? You’re not in pain or anything?” John asked.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m fine. You get a pretty high pain tolerance after losing a limb the way I did.”

“I guess you would, huh.” Hercules nodded a bit, mostly to himself.

“You didn’t even try to stop yourself from falling! And then you just laid there for a second! You scared the shit out of me.” Angelica exclaimed.

“Something I learned in rehab. If you’re falling, especially down stairs for example, you’re more likely to get hurt trying to stop yourself from falling than from the actual fall. It’s better to just try and keep your head safe if possible and let it happen, then I stayed still at the bottom while making sure nothing felt broken.” Alex explained to Angelica.

“Did you hit your head at all?” John asked Alex.

“If I did it wasn’t very hard.” Alex shrugged. “I’m not feeling any pain so I would guess not.”

John nodded a bit. He pulled his phone out and turned the flashlight on. “Follow the light.”

Alex took a second to get adjusted to it, then did as John asked without really knowing why exactly he was doing it. He followed the light with his eyes as John slowly moved it side to side.

“Your pupils are equal, round, and reactive, so that’s a good sign. If you get a headache or your vision goes blurry tell me.” John said.

“John, calm down, there’s no need to go all trauma surgeon on him. He said he’s fine, he’s not a trauma case in the ER.” Angelica reminded John.

“I’m making sure.” John defended himself. “Promise you’ll tell me?” John asked Alex again.

Alex nodded. “I’ll be fine.” He repeated. “Just uh, help me up?”

“Yeah of course.” John stood and offered his hands for Alex to take.

Alex took John’s hands and ignored the butterflies in his stomach, pulling himself up with John’s help. Luckily the flooring in the lower level was carpet instead of hardwood. He walked over and sat down on the couch. “I think I’ll stay here for a while.” He chuckled a bit.

The group put on a movie, and soon pizza arrived and they all quickly forgot about Alex’s fall.

By the time they watched three different movies, everyone was ready to call it quits for the night. Hercules and Angelica had already gony and Lafayette was using the bathroom quickly before him and Alex left. John helped Alex safely make it back up the stairs.

“I didn’t even think about your leg and the hardwood stairs. I did them with hardwood because it’s easier to clean.” John sighed a bit as he stood near the top of the stairs to go down while Alex sat himself down on the stairs to the upper floor and pulled his socks back on. “It just sucks because usually this is our go to hang out space because most of us live around here and it’s the biggest house of all of us.” John explained. “Now I’m realizing it’s not exactly very accessible.” He frowned.

“Why do you have such a big house anyway?” Alex asked so that John could hopefully stop feeling so guilty as Alex continued to fight to put his sock back on his prosthetic foot.

“Because I can afford it I guess.” He shrugged. “I dunno really. Sometimes I really hate having to clean it. Hence why I don’t like people wearing shoes in the house.” John chuckled. “I still feel so bad about you falling.”

“It’s fine.” Alex promised as he got the sock on finally and stood up, then walked over to the entryway to put his shoes on.

John didn’t seem to buy it. “I still feel bad, I mean, you probably wear shoes everywhere because socks can be dangerous and I assume you wanna keep the foot of the prosthetic in good shape.” John sighed a bit.

“Maybe I could buy some crocs or something and just leave them here, wear them around the house but only inside kinda thing?” Alex suggested as he worked to put his shoes on now too. He usually wore slip-on style shoes because they were far easier with the prosthetic.

“That’s a good idea. I’m not against any shoes in the house, it’s just, dirty outdoor shoes.” John explained.

“I totally get it.” Alex went quiet for a moment as he finished putting his shoes on. He finally stood back upright and looked at John. “Do you maybe wanna grab a coffee sometime this week? I’ve missed talking to you and this time there won’t be Martha, and Lafayette, and Eliza all hovering.”

John smiled. “I’d like that.”

Alex smiled too. “I’ll text you and we can figure out a time?”

“Definitely.” John agreed.

The next day Alex texted John. [So, when are you free to meet?]

Alex didn’t expect an answer immediately, but almost an hour went by and he hadn’t heard anything, making him wonder if John really wanted to meet after all or if he was just being polite the night before and didn’t actually want to go for coffee with Alex.

A couple hours later a notification lit up Alex’s phone. He picked it up and found himself smiling widely when he saw it was from John. He ignored how happy seeing that John had texted him made him feel and opened the text message.

[Hey, sorry I took so long to respond, I was in surgery. I’m off at 4-ish on Wednesday unless something major happens.]

Alex smiled a bit and typed his response. [I’m working until about 4 or 5, do you wanna meet for like, 6?] He sent it.

[Sure thing. Any ideas where we should meet?]

[Uh, maybe somewhere an equal distance for both of us? I work and live in the Tribeca area of Manhattan.]

[I’m in Brooklyn and I don’t know many coffee shops on the water lol. I know a good spot for coffee in Manhattan. I’ll send you the address?]

[Yeah sounds good.] Alex sent.

[I’m really happy we’re doing this. I’ve missed you.] John responded.

[I am too.]

The next day Alex was talking with Lafayette over the phone and brought up his pending coffee date. “So I’m going out with John for coffee on Wednesday.” He told Lafayette.

“Ooh, like a date?” Lafayette asked excitedly.

“What, no it’s not a date, unless…” Alex trailed off. Did John think this was a date? “Unless he thinks it’s a date. Neither of us ever said if it was or wasn’t.” He frowned to himself. “Now I’m panicking a bit, what if he thinks it’s a date?”

“Why don’t I text him and ask him about it? See what he thinks it is?” Lafayette asked.

“You would do that? You are the best Laf.” Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

“Of course I am the best.” Lafayette chuckled. “I will call you back when I have an answer.”

“Talk to you then.”

The next hour passed by incredibly slowly, but eventually Lafayette called Alex back. “What did John say?” Alex asked quickly upon answering the phone.

“Hello to you too.” Lafayette said sarcastically.

“Sorry, hi, I’m just, nervous to hear what hear what John had to say.” Alex explained.

“I can tell. John realized he does not know either and he said, ‘we will see how it goes and then decide’.” Lafayette told him.

“What does he mean by that?” Alex asked.

“I think he means to say that, if it is just friendly the entire time, then it is just a friend thing, but if there’s something more to it, then maybe he will think of it as a date.” Lafayette explained. “Basically he is going with the flow.”

“So what the hell am I supposed to do now?” Alex sighed a bit.

“Whatever your heart desires mon ami. If you wish this to be a date, treat it like a date, if you wish it to only be a friend thing, then treat it as such.” Lafayette instructed.

“I don’t know which I want it to be.” Alex frowned even though Lafayette couldn’t see it.

“You did tell me all those old feelings came back when you saw him at the barbecue.” Lafayette offered.

“They did, I just, I don’t know, I feel like so much time has gone by. It makes me wonder if I’ve not fallen in love with the John I met 15 years ago that’s no longer around. We were all every different people than we were 15 years ago.”

“I understand that.” Lafayette told him. “Why don’t you lay out a list of what’s going through your head. What you know, what you wonder, and what you feel. It might help organize your thoughts.” Lafayette suggested.

“That’s a really good idea. Could I do it with you? Like, use you as a sound board to bounce everything off of?” Alex asked.

“Of course mon ami! Go ahead!” 

“Alright, uh, well I know I had really big feelings for him in Iraq. I know that it took me a long time to get over him. I know that I haven’t dated many people since him, and every time it felt wrong and I just, missed John.” Alex listed.

“That is a good start. Do you think it is safe to assume that you maybe never truly got over him? I mean, you just explained that dating never felt right and you never got any kind of closure with it.” Lafayette pointed out.

“I think so.” Alex admitted.

“Alright, what next?” Lafayette prompted.

“Well I would know better than most people; PTSD changes a person. I used to be a super carefree, go with the flow, borderline-reckless guy. Now I live for routines and order, and I’m more organized. I wonder if John has changed majorly like I have.” Alex explained.

“Do you want me to tell you or do you just want to keep going and I will tell you what I can after you finish?” Lafayette asked.

“Tell me as we go along?”

“Sure. I think John has changed a bit, but deep-down he is the same guy he was when you met him. He is still passionate and wants to help people, he is strong and independent. He has struggled with PTSD and other stuff, but deep down, he is still the same man you fell in love all those years ago.” Lafayette told him.

Alex smiled a bit and nodded. “Alright. I wonder if he still has feelings for me, and if he’s thinking the same things that I am.”

“It took him a long time to become okay after Iraq, and a big part of that was him losing Mathew combined with what happened to you. He never dated another person again, he has had casual hook ups but, nothing meaningful. I do not know if he’s thinking the same things you are though.”

Alex nodded to himself. “I know that thinking of him makes me happy, and seeing him smile makes me smile, I get super excited when I see he’s texted me, and anytime we like touch hands or whatever I get butterflies. God I sound like a teenage girl.” He chuckled a bit.

Lafayette chuckled too. “It is alright. If that is really how you feel then that is how you feel, it does not matter if it sounds childish.” Lafayette reassured him.

“What do you think?” Alex bit his lip.

“I think that while John’s smile can be contagious, I do not get butterflies in my stomach when I happen to make physical contact with him, Alexander.” Lafayette pointed out.

Alex sighed a bit. “You’re probably right.” He admitted.

“I am more often right than I am wrong Alexander.”

“I get to doubt relationship advice from you.” Alex defended himself.

“Why?” Lafayette seemed upset.

“Because you’re divorced, Laf. You couldn’t keep your own marriage together.” Alex pointed out.

“It is not my fault! I tried to make things work with Adrienne, they just, were not meant to be. I eventually realized that the only right thing to do was to let Adrienne go. I loved her, but it was hurting us both, so I let her go.”

“How poetic." Alex said sarcastically. "Doesn’t change the fact that you had to let her go so she could be happy.” Alex told Lafayette.

“I could just, stop giving you advice then if you really want.” Laf threatened.

“No, I’ll take the advice, you just, you could stop being so, ‘I am an all knowing being’ about it.”

“Fine, I will try to not act like an ‘all knowing being’ for you.” Lafayette gave in.

“Thank you. This really is helpful.”

“It better be helping you. I am missing the real housewives for this!”

“You actually enjoy that show? Really?”

“We all have our guilty pleasures, Alexander, the real housewives is mine.” Lafayette explained.

Alex shook his head a bit and sighed. “You know you really are the stereotypical gay guy, right?”

“Of course I do! I take great pride in being as flamboyant as I am.” Lafayette told Alex, who could practically hear the Frenchman grinning over the phone.

The two continued talking about what Alex was thinking and feeling for a while, when Alex finally made his decision, and figured out what he would do with the coffee date. “Thanks for your help Lafayette. It meant a lot.” Alex told Lafayette sincerely.

“Of course, Alex. Let me know how it goes alright?”

“Yeah of course. Talk to you later Laf.”

“Have a good night.”


	11. We're Reliable With The Ladies- And The Dudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussions of alcoholism and depression

Soon it was Wednesday, Alex entered the coffee shop wearing a simple, black t-shirt tucked into blue jeans, with a grey sports jacket on as well, and his hair in a ponytail. He didn’t want to look too dressed up or too casual and he hoped this was a good compromise. Alex looked around the small coffee shop and didn’t see John, probably because he was 10 minutes early. He ordered his coffee, sat down at a table where John would be able to easily see him when he entered the cafe, and waited.

6pm came and went then so did 6:30, and Alex was about to call John and ask if he was still coming, when the door to the coffee shop opened and John entered, he walked over to the table before ordering anything.

John was wearing an olive green v-neck shirt, black skinny jeans, and a brown, slightly worn leather jacket with his hair in a messy bun. Alex would be lying if he said his attention wasn’t caught quickly by John’s outfit.

“Alex, hey, I’m so sorry I’m late. I was still finishing up a surgery at 6 and I wanted to call you but I left my phone in my car this morning and then by the time I got to my car I was so focused on just getting here.” John explained as he sat down across from Alex, hoping he wasn’t too mad at John.

“It’s alright. I was just about to call actually, I’m glad you made it.” Alex gave a small smile. “Go order yourself something.”

John nodded. He went and ordered himself a drink then returned to the table. “Thanks for understanding. I still feel bad for being late.”

“It’s all good. I mean, trauma surgery doesn’t sound like it’s very synonymous with schedules or being planned.” Alex was tracing shapes into the side of his mug.

“It’s definitely not.” John chuckled and looked down at his drink. “So how was your day today? And what’s it like working for Washington again? I mean, obviously it’s different because Iraq was a war and this is politics, but…”

“Work was work.” Alex shrugged. “Working for Washington again is definitely interesting. Remember how I would always go up to him with ideas on how to make things run more efficiently and he would just kinda nod and continue on with what he was doing?”

John nodded and sipped his coffee.

“It’s like that, only now that’s my job and he has to listen to me. And it’s a lot of math but it's the math that is literally real life stuff so it’s not stupid and annoying.” Alex paused for a second when he realized he was rambling. “It’s an adjustment after being a lawyer for so long, but it’s really good.” Alex explained.

“That’s good. I’m glad you like it. And I’m glad you took that job.” John smiled a bit.

Alex nodded. “I am too.” He was quiet for a moment before speaking. “I just wanted to apologize, again, for bringing alcohol to your house the other day. I feel so bad.” Alex looked down at his coffee as he said it, not because he didn’t mean it, but because he still felt guilty over it, and it wasn’t easy to look John in his beautiful eyes and say it.

“It’s alright. You didn’t know. I’m okay.” John reassured him.

Alex nodded and looked back up at John. “Do you mind if I ask how long you’ve been sober?” He sipped his coffee again.

“8 years. I first got sober 10 years ago, but, I slipped up one night. But I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in 8 years and I stay away from other substances too.”

“That’s a long time. Is it weird to say I’m proud of you?” Alex asked with a small chuckle.

“Not weird. And thank you.” John smiled a bit.

Alex smiled too. “So is there anything else I should know about you? So I don’t do something else stupid?”

John chuckled. “Nothing I can really think of.” He shrugged.

Alex nodded and sipped his coffee while he thought of something to say. “Your friend Eliza seemed nice. I didn’t talk to her or her wife much but they seem very friendly.”

“Oh, yeah, Eliza is the best and Maria is pretty chill too. Me and Eliza have been friends since we were like, 10.”

“That’s a long time.”

“It is. Our dad’s were both in politics. We met one night at some function that our dads were both attending and just clicked instantly. We spent the entire night talking and our dads had to drag us away from each other. We’ve been best friends ever since. At one point when we were teenagers Angie even asked us if we were dating each other because we were so close. We’ve been through thick and thin together. We came out to each other on the same night. Even when living in different states, hell even when I was in Iraq, we stayed in touch.”

Alex nodded a bit. “It’s really cool that you have that relationship with her and that you’re still such good friends.”

John nodded. “It kinda saved my life to be honest. Any time things got hard I just, remembered her, and it made it easier to get through it. Drinking too much and getting sober is hard? How would Eliza feel if she lost you because of this. Med school kicking my ass? Eliza can help you. Shitty high school boyfriend dumped you for a girl on the cheer squad? Eliza’s already found a way to get you ice cream and tissues despite her being in New York and me being in South Carolina.” John explained, smiling at the thought of his best friend.

“I’m glad you have her. Sounds like it’s been a really good thing for you to have her in your life.” Alex paused. “Her son Philip, he kinda looks like you…” Alex trailed off, not asking what the question he had on his mind, but saying enough that he didn’t need to.

“Oh, yeah. Eliza and Maria wanted a kid of their own but you know, biology, so I was their sperm donor. He’s biologically mine but he’s their kid, I’m just his really cool uncle who happened to give his moms a little something to help them get him.”

Alex nodded. “That’s really cool of you.”

“Maria said it was ‘the truest form of lesbian/gay men solidarity’.” John chuckled. “I was happy to do it, they wanted more medical history and family history than what sperm bank profiles could provide. I was and still am healthy physically and all my mental health issues aren’t caused by genetics.”

“That makes a lot of sense. I mean, if I was gonna spend thousands of dollars to obtain a child I would want a good history on the other parent too.”

“That is exactly what they were thinking. Philip is their entire world, they only ever do what’s best for him, which I guess included getting me to be his biological father, and naming me his godfather.” John explained.

“Who’s his godmother?” Alex asked curiously.

“Angelica. Maria doesn’t have much in the way of family and Angelica is the more responsible one between her and Peggy.”

“Makes sense.” Alex nodded. “I would love to properly meet Maria and Philip and talk with Eliza more. They’re important to you and to Angelica so it only feels right I guess.”

John nodded. “I think you’ll mesh really well with them. Eliza is a nurse in the ER at the same hospital as me and she’s a lot like Angelica but like nicer and kinder and less harsh about things. Maria works as a social worker. She’s super passionate about her work, and would take a bullet for her family and the kids she’s responsible for at work.”

“Well if they’re half as decent as you say they are I’m sure I can make friends with them.” Alex smiled.

John smiled back. “So, what about you? Anything you didn’t tell me at the barbecue? Stuff from the last 15 years or I dunno, did you help your lesbian best friend have a kid?” He chuckled.

“No kids. Uh, I think I told you most of it really.” Alex shrugged as he continued tracing shapes into the side of his mug.

“That’s okay, I was just wondering.”

Alex nodded a bit, trying to think of anything he should tell John. “I dunno. I told you about the leg stuff and the PTSD, did I mention the depression?”

“No you didn’t. Just that you struggled with your mental health.”

Alex nodded again, he looked down at the table then back up at John. “Yeah, I was dealing with depression at the same time as the peak of my PTSD. It was at least partially caused by the PTSD, so things were, really dark for a while.”

“What turned it around?” John seemed concerned and intrigued to hear what made things better.

“I got my second chance. My citizenship and university funding took longer than expected because I was discharged so suddenly and early-on in my service. I had to get the professional PTSD diagnosis and organize all the doctors notes and such before they would set up the paperwork for the citizenship and release the university funds, but I couldn’t exactly afford the healthcare I needed to do that while in the limbo with citizenship.” Alex explained.

“That sucks. I’m really sorry.” John frowned.

“It’s alright. I mean, it sucked for a while, but then one morning I got this phone call that the cost of doctors appointments I needed had been covered by an anonymous donor. Once they convinced me it wasn’t a prank call or a scam I took it. I got the doctors notes and the diagnosis I needed and in no time at all it felt like the citizenship papers went through, and my uni funding was released. I realized that there was something worth living for. I got my medication figured out and a couple months later I started at Columbia Law School.”

John nodded a bit. “I’m glad you were able to make it past that. Did you ever find out who the anonymous donor was?”

“Me too.” Alex smiled in response to the first bit. “I still don’t know for sure, but I suspect that it was Washington, at least I do now, knowing that he followed my story after I left.”

John nodded. “Sounds like him. I totally get the PTSD making things worse, by the way. I ended up with insomnia because of it and it took me until like 5 years ago to find medication that helped me sleep. Plus the whole alcoholism thing.”

“PTSD really fucked us up huh?” Alex chuckled a bit.

John nodded in agreement.

The two continued talking for a while, before it started getting late and they were slowly starting to say goodbye and head their separate ways. They had put their mugs where dirty mugs went and were heading out of the coffee shop. “I’ve, really enjoyed this. Catching up more, spending time just the two of us I mean.” John looked over at Alex.

“I have too, and that kinda leads me to something I wanted to ask.” Alex admitted, looking at John.

“Ask away.”

“Well, I think that both of us had no idea if this was an actual date or not. And the fact that we both wondered that, leads me to wonder if both of us would want to go on a date with each other. And I guess I’m curious to know if all that’s accurate?”

John froze and his cheeks heated up. After a moment he found his voice. “Yeah, that’s pretty spot on actually.” He nodded a bit.

Alex nodded too, more to himself though. “Well, then let me take you out on a proper date? To dinner at a nice restaurant.”

“I’d really like that, Alex.” John smiled. “I hated how things ended for us in Iraq, I dreamed of us getting a second chance for so long.”

“I hated how things ended too. It took me a long time to get over it. I spent a lot of time thinking about it.” Alex paused and looked down at his shoes, then back up at John. “How about next Friday? Unless you’re working, I don’t really know your schedule.”

“It changes all the time. Give me a second.” John paused as he pulled out his phone and checked his schedule. “I’m off. Next Friday sounds perfect.” He smiled.

Alex smiled back. “Cool. I’ll arrange everything.”

“Alright, but I’m driving. All the good restaurants are here in Manhattan, it makes no sense for you to drive to Brooklyn, pick me up, drive back here, and then back to Brooklyn then home again.”

Alex smiled a bit. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” John smiled back.

“It’s getting late and I have work early tomorrow morning.” Alex sighed a bit, not really wanting to leave John yet.

“Yeah of course.” John could tell Alex didn’t want to go. “We can text, and I’ll see you next Friday.” He reminded Alex.

Alex nodded. “See you then.” He smiled.

“See you next Friday.” John smiled back and parted ways with Alex. Once he was in his car driving home he called Eliza over his car’s bluetooth so he could talk as he drove.

“Hey John, how was coffee with Alex?” Eliza asked upon answering, she already knew that’s what he wanted to talk about.

“Oh my goodness it was amazing. All those old feelings are back. Like the last 15 years never even happened.” John explained as he began driving home.

“What happened?”

“Well I was late but he wasn’t mad, and he was super apologetic about the beer thing the other day, and I told him about Philip because he mentioned that Philip looks like me and he was super chill about it and we talked for like 3 hours, and we’re going out next Friday on an actual date. It could not have gone any better.” John spoke rapidly due to his excitement.

“I’m really happy for you.”

“I’m like, crazy excited already for the date.” John admitted.

“Of course you are. I’ve never known you to be too patient.” Eliza chuckled. “I’m glad you’re so excited though. It’s good to see compared to the past couple months.”

“Thanks and by the way Alex says he wants to talk more with you and properly meet Maria and Philip.”

“I think we could arrange that. It might be tricky, with your and mine and Maria’s schedules, but we’ll figure it out like we always do. He seemed really nice when we talked at the barbeque.”

“I think you two would get along well.” John said. “Him and Maria too. Maybe even more so. I mean, there’s just, more in common between them. Maybe Maria and Alex will end up best friends and then we can be best friends who marry a set of best friends. I mean yeah you married Maria before she knew Alex but still.” John was talking a million miles a minute and barely realized it because he was focused on the road.

“Already thinking of marriage John?” Eliza teased.

“I, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean like,  _ if _ me and Alex got married.” John made hand gestures as he spoke despite the fact that he was driving and Eliza couldn’t see him.

“Are you and Alex gonna get married?” Eliza asked, still teasing.

“I mean, it’s early and complicated but, I think I might like to; one day.” John smiled to himself.

Suddenly there was background noise which sounded like someone talking to Eliza. “Wanna say goodnight to Philip?” Eliza asked John.

“Sure thing.” John continued to smile to himself.

“I’m putting him on.” She told John.

“Hi uncle John!” Philip’s voice suddenly came over the phone.

“Hey Pip, going to bed buddy?” John asked.

“Yeah, mom said I have to.” Philip sighed, sounding defeated.

“Aw man, that sucks.” John told him.

“That’s what I said!” Philip exclaimed.

John chuckled. “Welp, sleep well buddy. Maybe I’ll come see you on Saturday.”

“Okay! Goodnight uncle John.”

“Goodnight Philip.” John smiled to himself more.

Everything was finally looking up for John for the first time in a long time, and he felt amazing.


	12. The Moment You've Been Waiting For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I was ever taught how to write pure fluff, lol, don't worry, it isn't all bad
> 
> TW: Discussions of alcohol(ism), getting accused of faking a disability(?)

Soon it was the night of Alex and John’s date. Alex settled on wearing navy blue dress pants that aren't super tight around the legs, but weren’t super loose either- like what he usually wore. He didn’t wear the tighter pants very often because they were hard to put on with his leg, but John was worth it. He paired the pants with a white button up shirt, and a navy suit jacket that matched the pants and again, wore his hair in a neat ponytail. 

Soon Alex’s phone lit up with a notification, which he checked immediately. Seeing that it was from John made him smile.

[Hey, I’m outside your building, my car is the red Honda Civic, shouldn’t be hard to spot.]

[I’m impressed, you know the name of your own car! Lol, I’ll be out in a couple minutes.] Alex sent back.

Alex left his apartment and went out the main doors of the building which led out to the street, as opposed to heading down to the parking garage and leaving in his car. He quickly spotted John’s vehicle as it was the only red one parked near the building. Alex knocked on the window a couple times.

John looked over and smiled, then unlocked the car door.

Alex opened the door to the car and got into the passenger seat. “Hello.” He smiled at John.

“Hi. Ready to go?” John was wearing a black dress pants, an indigo button up shirt with the sleeves rolled, and a black suit vest. His hair was in a neat bun on top of his head. 

Alex nodded. “Yep.”

“You look really nice. I think this is my first time seeing you in form fitting pants.” John complimented Alex.

“It’s tricky getting on tighter pants with the leg, plus sometimes it looks weird, but for you, it’s worth it.” Alex grinned a bit.

“I’m glad you decided so, they make your ass look great.” John said nonchalantly as he began driving.

Alex choked on air upon hearing John say that.

“Everything alright?” John asked as though he didn’t just compliment Alex’s ass.

“Yeah, fine.” Alex mumbled a bit and looked down at his lap to avoid making eye contact. He then reached over and put the restaurant into the GPS. “Parking can be tricky near this place, but I brought this so it should be easier.” He said as they got to a red light, showing John his handicap sign.

John looked over and saw it. “It’s still valid if it’s in my car and not yours?” He asked curiously.

“Yeah, I mean they could try to say something but as long as I’m with you it’s fine.” Alex nodded.

“Alright cool.” John began driving as the light turned green. 

Alex then noticed that the car was manual instead of automatic. “I miss my manual car.” He sighed a bit.

John glanced over at him, confused, then turned his eyes back to the road, and as he continued driving, used his left foot on the clutch pedal, and realized what Alex meant. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize, I just, I haven’t really been in a manual car since before my incident. It’s not really something I’ve ever thought of before. Even if I could do it safely, I’d legally never be able to drive a stick again because I can operate an automatic car safely and normally so…” Alex explained.

John nodded a bit. “There are pros to automatic cars, plus sometimes I wonder why I even have a manual in New York City, I never get to enjoy driving manual.” John shook his head. “But then again I’m definitely not driving my other two cars around the city.”

“What are your other cars?” Alex asked, finding himself thankful for the easy topic-change.

“I have a bright blue jeep, and a black convertible Maserati.” John told him, not taking his eyes off the road.

“You own a Maserati?” Alex’s eyes widened.

“My great aunt on my dad’s side passed away 4 years ago. I was always her favorite somehow and I got a pretty large chunk of change. I used it to finish paying off my house and then decided to treat myself because I figured ‘hey I deserve it’ especially because I had just gotten my 4 year AA chip so yeah, 2016 Maserati Granturismo.”

“Damn.” Alex mumbled. He knew John did well for himself, but he didn’t realize it was a 150,000 dollar car in the garage; well-off.

“Yeah. The Jeep I mostly use for things like when I go camping or long road trips. The Maserati doesn’t get out much but when she does it’s always fun.”

“That is probably the straightest thing I’ve ever heard you say, John Laurens.” Alex told him.

Soon they arrived at the restaurant. They parked in a handicap spot and hung the sign up, then headed inside together, but didn’t make any physical contact with each other. Alex and John went up to the hostess stand. 

“We have a reservation, it would be under Dr Laurens or Mr Hamilton.” Alex told the woman at the hostess stand, who happened to be an older woman.

“Alright, give me one moment.” She said, as she typed something into the sleek tablet with all the seating information. She looked back up at Alex and John, seeming a little dismayed. “It says here the reservation is for two. Are your wives not joining you, or was a mistake made?” The woman asked.

Alex chuckled a bit. “No that’s correct, it’s just the two of us.” He said, and looked at John to make sure it was okay as he slowly took John’s hand.

John smiled at Alex and happily interlaced fingers with Alex’s.

The woman paled, and she tried to hide the fact that her eyebrows shot up to her hairline, but failed. “I, uh, right, uh, your table is right this way.” She stuttered out as she grabbed menus, not looking away from Alex and John’s interlaced fingers.

Soon Alex and John were seated at their table and the hostess quickly headed back to the stand after saying their waitress would come over soon. “Did you see her eyebrows?” John laughed.

“For half a second before they disappeared past her hair line.” Alex laughed with John.

“They probably assumed I was gonna be a woman because of the doctor thing when you made the reservation, and then she got confused because of the heteronormativity.” John chuckled.

Alex nodded. “So far that is the highlight of my night.” He smiled.

John nodded and looked outside, it was raining pretty hard now. He sighed a bit. “If my phone starts making ambulance siren noises it’s the hospital and I probably gotta go, alright?” John warned Alex.

“Of course.” Alex nodded a bit, he understood John was a trauma surgeon with lots of experience in his field. Bad weather meant bad injuries and John was the guy who was meant to deal with those injuries.

“I’m not on call much longer though, I’ve been on call basically all week and I’ll be off-call at 10 and they try not to call if you only have a couple hours left so I’m sure it won’t happen.” John reassured.

“All good.” Alex promised.

The waitress then came over. “Hi, my name is Abby and I’ll be your waitress tonight. What can I get you gentleman started to drink? Tonight’s special is a lovely Tuscany Merlot that is to die for, can I offer you a free sample?” She asked politely and held up the bottle.

“Oh, no thank you, neither of us are drinking tonight.” Alex quickly answered before John would have to deal with it.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“Very sure. I’m not a wine fan and he’s on-call. I’ll have a coffee to drink and he’ll have,” Alex told the waitress, trailing off to let John order for himself.

“Your house ice tea looks lovely.” John smiled at the waitress.

“Sure thing. If you’re still deciding what to order I’ll be right back with your drinks and some bread for the table.” She told them and walked off.

“Thanks for handling that Alex.” John bit his lip.

“Of course. I never really realized how normalized alcohol is until I found out about you. I mean, free samples of wine at restaurants, a couple of the councilmen keep those weird shaped bottles of whiskey in their offices and offer a glass to anyone who comes in even though it’s like 11am on a Tuesday.” Alex shook his head a bit.

John nodded. “I agree about the normalized thing. It’s not always easy in situations like just now. A waiter or waitress waving a bottle in your face asking ‘are you sure?’ and reminding you it’s free.” John admitted. “It helps when the people you’re with aren’t drinking either though.” He smiled softly at Alex and rested his hand on the table.

Alex smiled back at John and looked at John for an okay, which he got in the form of a nod, before he put his hand over John’s in a sort of reassuring gesture.

They started talking about other things and dinner was going well. Soon they were finishing their meals.

“That was really really good, you picked a good restaurant Alex.” John smiled as he neatly set his used cutlery on the plate, handles hanging off so they wouldn’t get messy, which would make it easier for the waitress to clear the table and keep her hands clean.

“Well, you spend months eating military food, and then nearly a year eating hospital food, and it changes you.” Alex chuckled a bit. “I wouldn’t call myself like a foodie or whatever, but once I could afford it, I just, threw myself into finding the best restaurants in the city. I told myself that I would never have to eat another flavorless, overcooked or just-add-water, meal again.”

John nodded. “I guess that makes sense. But seriously, this place is great. I kinda want dessert if it’s gonna be half as good as dinner was but I’m not sure I could finish a whole dessert by myself.” John admitted as he looked at the dessert menu.

“We could always, split a dessert?” Alex suggested.

John looked up at him and smiled brightly. “Yeah that can work.”

Alex smiled back. The two chose a dessert and it soon got to the table, and the size of the dessert made it clear that they probably weren’t the only people who split it, as it was a fairly large piece of a chocolate mousse cake.

“That was a really good idea Alex.” John chuckled a bit and they both dug into it.

Alex took a bite of the cake, and once he swallowed the bite he looked at John, “Definitely.” He agreed.

Soon they finished the cake and the waitress came over. “Can I get you anything else? Coffee or iced tea refills?” She asked.

Alex looked at John before turning to the waitress. “Just the check please.” Alex told her.

“Of course.” She nodded and walked off, soon returning with the check. “Who’s this going to?”

“Me.” Alex and John said in unison, while both looking at the waitress, however once it was said they looked at each other.

“Oop, I’ll just leave it here and let you decide, flag me down when you’ve got it sorted out.” She placed the little check book on the table.

“I asked you out.” Alex started. “And picked the restaurant.” He added, looking at John.

“So?” John asked.

“So it’s basic etiquette that I pay the check.” Alex explained.

“Yes well basic etiquette doesn’t account for the fact that I make more money than you and that I always pay on dates, it’s just how I was raised, can’t turn it off.” John politely pitched his argument for why he should pay instead of Alex.

“You drove and it’s a long drive! And you can’t make that much more than me.” Alex defended himself.

John rested his arm on the table and leaned in a bit. “I’m a trauma surgeon with 10 years of experience in my profession working at a level-1 trauma center in New York City. I make nearly 500k a year Alexander.” He told Alex in a somewhat hushed tone, because it was the type or restaurant where that kind of conversation would be considered ‘improper etiquette’.

“Holy shit.” Alex mumbled to himself, in shock at that.

John grabbed the check and slipped his card into the book without even looking at the cost of their meal, using Alex’s shock to his advantage. “You can get the next one alright?”

“Fine.” Alex sighed once John’s card was in the book because to try and swap it for his own would also be considered ‘improper’.

Soon John and Alex were leaving the restaurant, not making physical contact again, like when they entered. It wasn’t that they were mad at each other for the paying thing, or that they were worried about homophobes, but more because they were still working to become more close and physical with each other.

Someone watched them walk to John’s car. “Nice disability boys!” He called out sarcastically to Alex and John.

15 or even 10 years ago, Alex’s face would’ve paled and his heart would’ve sunk down into his stomach upon hearing that, but he had learned to just ignore it. He was ready to just get into John’s car and drive off, when John walked back from the driver’s door to the sidewalk where the man was. “What’d you say?” John asked the guy.

“I said,  _ nice disability. _ ” The man repeated.

“Just because we both look able-bodied doesn’t mean we are and who the hell are you to judge us?” John asked.

“I’m just saying, you walked outta that restaurant and got into your car that’s parked in a handicap spot. Looks kinda funny, wouldn’t you agree?”

“That man standing over there,” John pointed at Alex, who was watching all this unfold, surprised that John was defending him. “Is missing his leg because it was blown off during an act of heroism when he served in the Iraq war! Just because you can’t see anything wrong, doesn’t mean all is well! He doesn’t look disabled but you’ve never had to help him through an episode of intense nerve pain so bad he couldn’t wear his prosthetic. Trust me, he’s disabled. Don’t judge people without knowing their story.” John told the guy and walked back to the car, getting into it before the guy could get another word in.

“John you didn’t have to do that.” Alex told John once they were in the car.

“I wasn’t gonna stand around and let that guy yell at you because he feels shitty about his own life and decided to try and spread the feeling around.”

“I never give people like that the time of day.” Alex admitted. “No one has ever defended me like that.” He said softly

“Yeah well you deserve to get defended like that, Alex. You’re literally a hero and as long as I’m part of your life no matter what that means relationship wise, no one is ever gonna get away with that kinda thing again.” John promised.

Alex couldn’t help but smile widely at John.

When they got back to Alex’s building there was nowhere near the door to park and John had to park nearly an entire block up. “Let me walk you to the door? I got an umbrella so you won’t get wet.”

“Sure, I’d like that.” Alex nodded.

John got out of the car and opened the umbrella. He came around the car and made sure Alex stayed dry as he got out and walked to the door. Soon they got there but Alex didn’t go inside yet. 

“I had a really nice time tonight.” John smiled at Alex.

“I did too.” Alex smiled back. He seemed nervous but spoke again. “I, uh, I think this is the part where we share a goodnight kiss.”

“I think so too.” John held the umbrella with one hand and cupped Alex’s cheek with the other. He pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s lips and the second time before Alex got the chance to kiss John back, they were interrupted. This time, by John’s phone making ambulance siren noises.

“Fuck.” John mumbled as he pulled away and pulled his phone out. “I’m so sorry.” He said and answered the phone. He wasn’t on it long. “I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” John said and ran to his car, leaving Alex alone outside his apartment building, in the rain, not getting to reciprocate John’s kiss for a second time.


	13. We Can't Afford Another Slip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Blood, Hospitals

Alex stood in the rain as he watched John get into his car and drive away. Eventually the door to the building was opened.

“Mr Hamilton? Is everything alright?” The doorman, Bernard, called out to Alex, not coming outside but standing in the doorway, holding the door open. “Why not come inside? This is some pretty heavy rain, can’t be too comfy getting soaked in those nice clothes.”

Alex glanced at the street again, but John’s car was long gone. He walked over to the door and came inside the building. “Thank you, Bernard, I’m alright.” Alex lied.

“Very well Mr Hamilton. Have a good night.”

“You as well, Bernard.” Alex told him and quickly got on the elevator to go up to his apartment. 

Alex soon got to his apartment and called Laf as he headed to his bedroom to change into comfier, dry, clothes. He held it together in front of Bernard and on the elevator, but as soon he was in his own apartment, he let himself fall apart.

“Hello Alexander, how did your date with John go?” Lafayette asked upon answering the phone.

“It was wonderful right until it wasn’t.” Alex felt like he was on the verge of tears. He was upset over the interrupted kiss, not because it was interrupted but because it reminded him of the interrupted kiss from Iraq and everything that followed after. He quickly pulled his suit jacket off, simply tossing it down on the bed.

“What happened?” Lafayette sounded concerned.

“The same thing as last time!” Alex exclaimed as he undid his belt and tossed it down next to his suit jacket. Then he undid his pants and pressed the button to release his prosthetic through his pants. As he tried to free his stump he realized the pants were too tight to do it seeing as he hadn’t actually started to pull them off.

“What do you mean the same thing as last time?” Lafayette asked.

Alex barely even registered that Lafayette had spoken. He was so upset that he didn’t think to act rationally and calmly so instead he just struggled with the pants/leg situation more. He ended up falling and found himself in no position to be able to easily get up due to the leg being partially off and him being between his bed and the wall without enough room to get himself back up. His head hurt a bit and he guessed he hit it on the nightstand that he was now laying next to. “Fuck me!” He exclaimed and let his head drop with a second, quieter thud compared to the one caused by him falling.

“Alexander what is going on? Are you alright?” Lafayette asked upon hearing the loud ‘thud’ of Alex hitting the floor. Usually Alex calling out something like ‘fuck me’ would result in jokes and some minor, meaningless flirting from Lafayette. However Lafayette didn’t this time, because he knew it wasn’t the time or place for that.

“This night sucks!” Was all Alex could manage to get out as he began to cry. He was too upset to even try and sit up so he just let himself lay on the floor and cry.

“Alexander I’m coming over. Is your apartment unlocked?” Lafayette could be heard grabbing his keys and most likely leaving his apartment already.

“No.” Alex croaked.

“Does your doorman have a spare key I can get from him then?”

“Y- yeah. Y- you gotta give him the password when you ask for it though. It’s May 13th 2004.” Alex managed to get out despite crying.

“Treize mai deux mille quatre.” Lafayette repeated the date to himself in French so he would remember it. “I’ll be there soon.” Lafayette promised.

Sure enough, 5 minutes later Lafayette got to Alex's building, he got the key from the doorman, and went to Alex’s apartment where he let himself in. “Alexander? Where are you?” Lafayette called out as he entered the apartment. He set his umbrella down in the entryway and wiped his shoes off quickly just to make sure they were dry. He was in a large, white, knitted turtleneck sweater and leggings, with his glasses instead of contacts and his hair was a little messy. Usually he wouldn’t wear something like that out in public but he didn’t bother to change before coming to Alex’s apartment.

“B- bedroom!” Alex called out

Lafayette went to Alex’s room and sure enough, Alex was there and the sight of Alex broke Lafayette’s a little. He frowned deeply. Alex was on the floor, still in his wet shirt and pants from the date, unable to get up on his own and crying.

“Shh, it is okay, Alexander.” Lafayette spoke reassuringly to Alex as he helped Alex up off the floor and got him so he was sitting on his bed. Lafayette frowned when he realized Alex had a cut on the side of his forehead, near his temple. “Did you hit your head when you fell?” He asked gently.

“Yeah? Why?” Alex asked, then he touched his forehead, right on the cut, and pulled his fingers away, looking at the blood on them. “Oh.”

“Here.” Lafayette handed him some tissues. “Dry your tears with those, I will get something to care for your forehead.”

“There’s a first aid kit under the sink in the bathroom.” Alex mumbled as he took the tissues and dried his face and cleaned the blood off his fingers.

Lafayette nodded. He disappeared and soon came back with the first aid kit. He sat next to Alex and turned to face him. Laf opened the first aid kid and grabbed some gauze, holding it to Alex’s head. “What happened tonight, mon ami?”

“The date was- amazing. John looked so cute and we laughed and had a lovely dinner and shared a dessert and he defended me to someone who accused me of faking a disability and he promised no one would get away with that as long as he was around and it was just  _ so good _ .” Alex wiped away some more tears. “He walked me to the door, and he started to kiss me goodnight when the hospital called and he needed to leave. It was like Iraq all over.”

“I am so sorry Alex.” Lafayette said gently.

“Now I can’t stop thinking about Iraq.” Alex mumbled.

“It is okay, you are in New York City, not Iraq, and that was 15 years ago.” Lafayette reminded him.

“I was upset about our kiss getting cut short and I called you and then I was trying to get my pants off and usually I don’t wear tight pants because it’s tough with a prosthetic and I got stuck and it threw me off balance and I fell.” Alex explained.

Lafayette nodded. “Alright, let’s get you out of your wet clothes. Hold the gauze to your head and stand on your good leg. Use me for support if you need.” Lafayette instructed.

Soon with Lafayette’s help, Alex had the dress pants off, as well as the dress shirt, and was now in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Much better, oui?” Lafayette asked Alex.

Alex just nodded, he was tracing shapes into the side of his good leg, not only because he was stressed, but feeling his finger on his thigh was grounding for him in some strange way.

“Take a moment, I am going to go put your wet clothes in the wash so they do not start to smell.” Lafayette told Alex and took the wet clothes away.

Alex nodded. “Thanks Laf.”

“Of course.” Lafayette gave a small smile. Soon he returned to Alex’s room. “Let’s look at your cut now. It should not be bleeding anymore.” Lafayette told Alex and pulled the gauze away. Unfortunately, the cut was still bleeding. “That is not good, you must have fallen 25 minutes ago and we have been holding pressure for nearly 15.”

“So?” Alex asked.

“So; cuts that bleed for 15 minutes or longer usually need stitches, plus this is your face, you do not want a large scar on it.”

“Lafayette it’s not a big deal, I’m already covered in scars anyway, what’s one more?” Alex told Lafayette.

Lafayette held up the large wad of blood-soaked gauze so Alex could see it. “Yes it is a big deal.” He insisted. “I am taking you to the emergency room.”

“Lafayette please. I just want to go to bed.” Alex whined a bit.

“I know mon ami but you cannot sleep until this has been addressed, if you go to bed without addressing this you will stain your pillowcases, lose even more blood, and leave yourself susceptible to infection.”

Alex sighed a bit and accepted that Lafayette wasn’t gonna let this go. “Give me a minute to get my leg back on. If it stops bleeding by the time I’m ready to leave I’m not going.”

“Fine by me.” Lafayette agreed. “I will use the spare time to check wait times for the different ERs.”

Soon Alex was ready and much to his dismay the cut was still bleeding. “This night sucks.” He repeated himself.

Not much longer they were at an ER in Brooklyn, because it held the shortest wait time. It wasn’t super busy, but the cases that were there all seemed bad. It didn’t take long for Alex to get taken to a bed, but he was told it might be a while until someone got to him because they were still calling doctors into the hospital. Alex was waiting to be seen by a doctor when he saw a familiar face.

John was standing at the nurse’s desk, in dark green scrubs, and a matching green scrub cap. He was looking at the different charts, he looked at one then suddenly looked up and around at the different beds, spotting Alex. He held onto the chart and quickly came over. “Alex? Lafayette? What happened? I saw you like just over an hour ago. You were fine!” John exclaimed, he set the chart down and pulled on a pair of gloves.

“Yes well an hour ago, shortly after being dropped off, he fell and hit his head and the cut just began to stop bleeding.” Lafayette explained to John.

“What happened? What did you hit your head on?” John asked as he slowly pulled the gauze away and looked at the cut, which was just now beginning to slow on the bleeding.

“The corner of my nightstand.” Alex told him. “Don’t you have more important patients to take care of here? You must’ve been called in for a reason.”

“Patient crashed in the OR, we couldn’t get him back, all the other major traumas already have someone assigned to them.” John explained. “You’re gonna need at least a couple stitches. I’ll be right back.” John told Alex.

Alex nodded a bit, assuming John was gonna send someone else to do the stitches, probably an intern or a low-level resident or even just a regular old ER doctor.

John walked off and soon came back with some stuff, not that Alex could tell what any of it was. John set it down on the table next to the bed. “I’m gonna freeze the area around the cut first alright?” John asked as he drew up a syringe with lidocaine.

Alex nodded a bit, wondering why John was doing this instead of someone else.

“Stay still for a moment.” John instructed and began injecting the lidocaine into the area around the cut. “I’m gonna do my best to minimize the scarring, but I’m not a plastic surgeon.” John chuckled a bit as he took a better look at the cut.

“I’m fine John, just like, glue me up and send me home.” Alex told John. He had been hoping John would send someone else to take care of him because Alex knew he could probably convince a lowly intern to just glue him up and send him home whereas John was a different story.

“No way, you’ll scar and looking at this cut glue wouldn’t hold it shut very well. The bleeding just stopped and the cut isn’t a clean straight cut, I can’t use glue or steristrips. I gotta suture it.”

Alex sighed a bit but nodded, knowing he wouldn’t be able to convince John otherwise.

“Don’t worry, you’re in good hands.” John promised.

Alex nodded a bit. “Okay.”

John began stitching Alex up, taking his time to stitch nicely and evenly to help reduce potential scarring. He did his best to be gentle with Alex and soon he finished. “12 stitches.” He told Alex as he put the needle away in a sharps container and tossed out the garbage from doing the stitches. “How does your head feel otherwise? And how are you feeling in general?”

“Bit of a headache. And nauseous, but that’s just the hospital smell; makes me sick after spending so long in one after Iraq.” Alex mumbled.

John nodded in understanding. “Alright. I’ll check that out in a moment.” He said as he put a bandage over the stitches to protect them. 

Alex turned to Lafayette once John finished. “Laf, would you mind going and finding me some ginger ale or something? I really don’t want to throw up right now.”

“Of course I can.” Lafayette gave a small reassuring smile and stood.

“Best bet is the vending machines across from the cafeteria.” John told Lafayette and gave him directions.

Lafayette nodded and left, making sure to pull the curtains shut as he left so that Alex wouldn’t have to see what was going on around him, because Lafayette knew hospitals weren’t the funnest place for Alex.

John took his gloves off, threw them out, and then pulled what looked like a pen from the pocket of his scrubs, however when he pressed a button; a light turned on. “Follow the light, just like in my basement last week.” John told him.

Alex followed the light as instructed.

John checked a couple other things then spoke. “Nothing too serious, I don’t think it’s even enough to be called a mild concussion, just need some rest and you should be okay.” John told him.

Alex nodded. “Thanks John.” He smiled a bit.

“It’s no problem.”

“So do you stitch up lots of people despite being an attending trauma surgeon or am I special?” Alex asked curiously. He had been tracing shapes into the side of his leg almost the entire time.

“You’re definitely special.” John smiled a bit.

“Huh.” Alex said, the look on his face made it clear he was thinking.

“What is it?” John asked.

“Well, if I’m special maybe I should get some kind of  _ special treatment.” _ Alex explained, heavily implying something.

“Yeah? Like what?” John asked. He crossed his arms and played into what Alex was asking for.

“Maybe, a kiss to make me feel better?” Alex suggested, and gave John his best innocent look.

“I see. I think that can be arranged.” John smiled.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

“Yeah. Just don’t go off and tell anyone I’m running around kissing patients alright? I like my job, and I don’t think my boss would like to find out about this.”

“I think I can manage that.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Good.” John said. He cupped Alex’s cheek and kissed him.

And for the first time, Alex got to kiss back without them being interrupted. He instinctively put a hand on John’s wrist as he kissed back. It was soft and warm and despite the situation, to both of them, it felt like pure bliss.

Soon John pulled away and pressed another quick peck to Alex’s lips before speaking. “I’ve been waiting 15 years for that.” He said softly.

“Was it worth the wait?” Alex asked, smiling from the kiss.

“Definitely.” John smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I can write small amounts of fluff


	14. I Stay With Hamilton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, discussion of parental death

Soon Lafayette returned with ginger ale in hand. Alex was smiling into his lap and tracing shapes into his thigh still. “Your mood seems to have turned around Alexander.” Lafayette observed as he sat on the foot of the bed.

“I guess you could say that.” Alex looked up at him, still smiling.

“What happened to do such a thing?” Lafayette asked as he handed Alex a cold bottle of ginger ale.

“John.” Alex said simply.

“Did John do something specific to make you so happy?” Lafayette asked, hinting that he was looking for more details.

“He kissed me. And I got to kiss back.” Alex told Lafayette, he couldn’t stop smiling. He must’ve been the happiest person in the entire emergency room.

“Did he now? How was it?”

“It was good. Worth the wait.” Alex smiled.

“I am glad.” Lafayette then checked the time, he gasped a bit upon seeing it. “And now I am extra glad.”

“Why?” Alex asked curiously.

“Nothing.” Lafayette said too quickly.

“Oh really? I’m not buying it.”

Lafayette sighed a bit. “Me, Angelica, Hercules, Eliza, and Peggy may have had a betting pool going for when you and John would share your first proper kiss, and seeing as it is still technically Friday evening, the same night as your date, I just won the pot.”

“You guys bet on when we would kiss?”

“Eliza thought it would take a long time, Angelica lost when you guys didn’t kiss during your coffee not-date, Peggy thought it would happen between coffee and the first date and Hercules thought it would be during your second date.” Lafayette told Alex.

“And you betted on the first date?”

“Oui. I know you and John well, and obviously I made a good choice.”

“How big is the pot?” Alex asked curiously.

“Minimum bet to get in the pot was $20. Angelica put in $50, Eliza put in $20, Hercules put in $30, Peggy put $40 and I put in $60. The pot is a grand total of $200 that is now all mine.” Lafayette grinned.

“Y’all got any other bets going about mine and John’s relationship?” Alex asked.

“Even if we did, I could not say. If I told you and the others found out I could get kicked out of the betting pool for attempting to interfere.” Lafayette told Alex.

“So you do have other bets going on.” Alex stated.

“No. You never even asked me about that. Drink your ginger ale.” Lafayette told him.

“What, scared one of them is gonna pop out of nowhere and catch you?” Alex asked as he carefully opened the ginger ale so it wouldn’t explode.

“Perhaps.”

“I highly doubt that would happen.” Alex rolled his eyes and took a sip of the ginger ale.

“Ah but you do not know for sure. Eliza happens to work here, in the ER and it is very busy, it is entirely possible that she is working tonight.”

Alex just shook his head a bit and sipped his ginger ale again. “I should be able to go soon. We’re just waiting for a nurse to bring over some paperwork. Gotta love insurance forms.” Alex said sarcastically.

Soon Alex was taken home by Laf, where Alex fell asleep pretty quickly and slept for a long time. The next day Alex was reading between loads of laundry, having a lazy Saturday in a t-shirt and sweatpants with his hair tied up in a messy folded ponytail when he heard his apartment buzzer go off.

Alex groaned and set his book down on the coffee table next to his chair, got up, and walked over to the intercom. He pressed the button to speak. “Hello?”

“Mr Hamilton, there is a Mr John Laurens here to see you.” The doorman, Bernard, informed Alex. “Do you want me to let him up or shall I ask him to leave?”

Alex was shocked to hear this, but managed to find his words. “Please send him up.” Alex told him.

“Right away Mr Hamilton.”

“Thank you Bernard.” Alex spoke into the intercom one last time.

Alex turned and looked around his apartment. One really good thing about his cleaning schedule and how picky he was about things being in their place, was that his apartment was always nice and clean looking, ready for guests. He didn’t have to rush to clean in the spare minutes he had before John would be there.

Soon there was a knock on the door. Alex took a deep breath and opened it.

John was there, in blue jeans and a basic t-shirt, with the same leather jacket he had worn to coffee and his hair in a ponytail. He had a paper bag of take out in his arm. “Hey.” He smiled a bit.

“Hi, what are you doing here?” Alex asked, he was still surprised that John had shown up here.

“I thought I’d come spend some time with you today. Make you feel better and hopefully make up for last night. I’m really sorry for everything that happened, by the way. I hope this is a good enough apology."

“Come inside.” Alex told John and moved out of the way so John could enter the apartment. “John you don’t have to apologize.” Alex started as he led John into the kitchen so he could put down the food.

John set it down on the counter then turned to Alex. “No, I feel bad. I shouldn’t have gotten called into the hospital last night. After I stitched up your head, I diagnosed a panic attack, and told a couple of people that the hospital was no safer than their homes and it wasn’t even a bad storm, diagnosed a case of appendicitis and handed the case off to another surgeon then went home. I was there for like, maybe 3 or 4 hours.” John explained, he was toying with the sleeve of his jacket. “Most of the traumas caused by the storm were already taken by the time I got there. I had one when I first arrived at the hospital, lost him, and no new ones came in after. I shouldn’t have been called in and I feel bad for leaving. So I’m really sorry.”

“I’m not upset with you. I promise.” Alex opened his arms for a hug.

John smiled softly and hugged Alex. “I can pretty much guarantee that the hospital isn’t gonna call me today, so if you’ll let me; I intend to spend the rest of the day here, with you, watching movies, eating Chinese take out, and making up for lost time.”

Alex smiled as he hugged John back. “I’d like that a lot.” He told him. “How’d you know I’d want Chinese food?” He asked, the truth was he had been thinking about Chinese food all day and had planned to order some for dinner.

“I remember in Iraq you said it was the food you missed most, and it was you’re go to for long nights. I know the long night was last night, but…” John trailed off, looking at Alex, hoping it was alright and wasn’t weird to have done.

“You remembered that?” Alex asked, surprised to hear that John had remembered such a small insignificant detail.

John nodded. “I did.”

Alex smiled more at him. “You really are amazing, John Laurens.” He kissed John’s cheek.

John smiled back at him then opened up the Chinese food bag.

Alex grinned at him as he grabbed plates and forks for them.

Soon the two were sitting on Alex’s couch, with the curtains closed so it was dark in the living room, eating their Chinese food and watching a movie.

“This is really really good. I thought I’d found the best Chinese food in New York City, but this is better. What restaurant is this from?” Alex asked between bites of food.

John finished chewing and swallowed before he spoke. “There’s this tiny little hole in the wall place over in Queens, it’s not some big fancy 5 star place, but the owners are this old Chinese couple who have devoted their lives to the place. They’re really friendly and they spent years perfecting their dishes. It’s a drive but it’s worth it every time.”

Alex nodded a bit. “You drove from the edge of Brooklyn to Queens, then over to lower Manhattan for me? That must’ve taken forever.” He was surprised.

“It was worth seeing you smile.” John grinned.

Alex smiled at him.

“How does your head feel after last night?” John asked and took another bite of fried rice.

“The cut is a little sore but otherwise I’m fine. Luckily I had a really good doctor take good care of me last night.”

“I’m glad you received such good care.” John smiled.

Alex smiled back and pecked John’s lips before turning his attention back to his food and the movie.

Between movies they got up to get more Chinese food. “I really like your apartment.” John admitted as he put some more beef and broccoli on his plate.

“Really?” Alex asked. “I think your house is far more impressive.” Alex admitted as he took a bite of a spring roll.

“Well, I mean, I guess, but it’s a really nice apartment. You’ve got a doorman and the main living areas aren’t completely cut off from each other like in most apartments, so you know it’s fancy.” He chuckled. “Plus your appliances don’t look seconds away from falling apart.”

Alex chuckled a bit. “It’s a lot easier to clean than I bet your house is too.” He teased.

“Ugh, don’t even get me started on that.” John groaned as he grabbed a couple of deep-fried chicken balls.

“How many bedrooms and bathrooms does your house have again? And it’s 3 floors or 4?” Alex continued to tease John as he put some lo mein on his plate.

John sighed a bit. “4 floors, 4 bedrooms, 2 and half bathrooms. The cellar is really just storage though. And one of the bedrooms is set up as an office.” John told him.

“That’s a really big house.” Alex commented as he went back to the living room and sat back down on the couch.

“Well, sometimes some of my family will come and visit from South Carolina and, it certainly doesn’t feel big when they’re here.” John explained as he came and sat back down next to Alex.

“How many siblings do you have?” Alex asked curiously as he put on the next movie they had agreed on, then took another bite of his food.

“4. There’s Martha, Henry Jr, James, and Mary. They’re all younger than me. My parents had me pretty young, I wasn’t planned, then 4 years later Martha who is now 35, 2 more years went by and they had Henry Jr who is 33, James was 2 years after that- he’s 31, and then Mary was another surprise, she came 10 years later, she’s 21.” John explained to Alex, eyes focused on the start of the movie.

Alex nodded a bit. “It must be nice having a big family.” He commented, thinking about his little family that just got smaller and smaller until it was just him.

“Well, I have a lot of nieces and nephews that’s for sure. My sisters and James are wonderful, but uh, I never really got along with my father, or Henry Jr. My dad grew up in South Carolina in the 60’s, so let’s just say he never learned to accept the LGBTQ community. Unfortunately, Henry Jr took after him in that way. He’s not as bad as my dad, but it’s definitely there. James and my sisters are good that way though.”

Alex nodded. “What about your mom?” He asked curiously.

“She was wonderful, she was so kind and caring and just amazing. She was this fire cracker, a lively little Puerto Rican woman. My dad was the type to make people dull their light around him but my mom never did. She was strong too, but, not strong enough to survive Mary’s birth, having a fifth kid at 43 was just, too much strain on her body.”

“I’m really sorry John.” Alex spoke solemnly, he couldn’t help but think about his own mother.

“It’s fine.” John told him and took a bite of his beef and broccoli.

“I lost my mom too. My whole family, really.” Alex admitted, staring down at his plate of food. “When I was 10 my parents divorced and my dad took my older brother with him to wherever it is that they went, and I stayed with my mom. When I was 12 she got sick and passed away.”

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

“It is what it is, I guess.” Alex shrugged. “Looks like we have two more things in common then.”

“Two?” John asked.

“Dead moms and shitty fathers.” Alex chuckled a bit. 

“Yeah, that’s one way to put it.” John chuckled too then took another bite of his food.

When they finished their food Alex took the dirty dishes and put them in the sink, then rejoined John on the couch. They watched another movie and snuggled up to each other, cuddling.

Before Alex knew it, it was just after 8pm and they were still cuddling, but John had fallen asleep about 20 minutes ago. Alex let the movie finish, because there was only about 20 minutes left, then turned the TV off. He gently shook John. “John.” He said softly.

John quickly woke up. “God what time is it?” He rubbed his eyes and looked around, trying to gather his bearings. 

“About 8:30. You slept for about 45 minutes or so.”

John nodded a bit. “I should probably get going if I wanna make it back to Brooklyn before midnight.” He chuckled.

“It’s maybe a half hour hour drive. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Alex chuckled too.

“I know I know. Still though, I should get going. It was wonderful spending the day with you.” John got up and grabbed his jacket.

“Today was really nice.” Alex nodded in agreement, and followed John to the door. He waited until John put his jacket on, then put a hand on the back of John’s neck and pulled him closer, kissing him.

John pulled Alex closer yet and happily kissed him back. When the kiss finally broke he pulled away. “I’ll text you later.”

“Bye John. Have a good night.”

John stole another quick kiss and left Alex’s apartment.

Alex watched as John walked down the hallway, until he disappeared behind the elevator doors and Alex smiled to himself.

It certainly wasn’t how he intended to spend the day, but it definitely was a good day despite that. He finished up the laundry that was interrupted, and ate the rest of the Chinese leftovers for dinner, before doing his evening routine and falling asleep happy.


	15. Are You Aware That You're Making History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings but a couple of quick notes for this chapter.
> 
> First off, I did a lot of research for this chapter (which will make sense in due time) so all that math is absolutely true/correct and if anyone has any questions about how I got to that, just comment and I'd be glad to walk you through it/explain it.  
> I never really made it clear before but: -Alex and Lafayette live in Manhattan in Tribeca -Angelica, and Peggy live in Manhattan on the Upper East Side -John, Eliza and her family, and the Washingtons all live in Brooklyn in Bay Ridge -The Mulligans live in Brooklyn in the Park Slope neighborhood. I don't know why I didn't make that clear sooner BTW I figured it out a while ago and did a lot of research on the topic.

Sunday, as well as most of the week came and went; Alex and John texted often, and talked on the phone a couple times, and every time they talked Alex swore he fell a little harder for John. On Thursday evening John called Alex while Alex was making himself dinner. 

Alex answered the phone without checking the caller ID. “Hello?” He pinned the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he continued to chop up vegetables.

“Hey hot stuff.” Alex could tell that John was smiling into the phone as he said that.

“Hi. How’s it going?” Alex asked him as he pulled the phone from where he’d pinned it and set it on speaker then put it down on the kitchen counter.

“It’s good. How are you?”

“Well, I’m flirting over the phone with a pretty handsome fellow named John, so I gotta say, pretty good.” Alex smiled to himself as he put the vegetables onto a pan and tossed them in olive oil, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, and paprika.

John chuckled. “Sounds like he’s quite the catch.”

“Oh he definitely is. Tall, handsome, smart, a war vet, and a doctor. He’s the total package.” Once the vegetables were appropriately covered in oil and spices Alex neatly arranged them on the pan so they would cook evenly.

“Sounds like you picked a good one.” John chuckled. 

“I definitely did.” Alex agreed. “So what’s up? Just calling cause you’re bored?” He asked as he went to the sink and washed his hands, as they too were covered in oil and spices.

“Kinda. Remember how you said you wanted to talk more with Eliza and met Maria and Philip when we went to coffee? Did you still want to do that?” John asked.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” Alex told John as he dried his hands off.

“Well both Eliza and Maria as well as myself are off Saturday evening, so I’m inviting the two of them as well as Philip obviously to my place for dinner, I was wondering if maybe you would like to come? I know it’s short notice, but when schedules are as tricky as ours a lot of these things are planned last minute.”

“I’m free Saturday, and I don’t mind the short notice. I would love to come.” Alex smiled a bit and popped the pan of vegetables into the oven to roast, glancing at the time so he would know when to pull them out.

“Cool, it’s nothing formal so don’t worry about that.” John told him.

“Should I bring anything? And if so, what?” Alex asked, he didn’t want to make another mistake like he had with bringing beer to John’s house. He picked up his phone and plugged the date for the dinner into his calendar.

“There is a really good bakery not far from your place, I’ll send you the address, I can’t remember the name of the place right now.” John explained. “Really any kind of dessert from there would be perfect, all their stuff is amazing.”

“Sounds like a plan. If I took the ferry from Pier 11 to the Bay Ridge pier near your house- whatever it’s called- do you think you could pick me up from there? I wanna see if it’s faster than driving from Manhattan to Brooklyn.” Alex explained as checked on the diced chicken he had on the stove, stirring it around.

“Yeah sure! Dinner is gonna be at 6 so maybe get on the ferry at 4 so that you’ll get to the American Veterans Memorial Pier at like 4:30 or whatever it is.” John suggested.

“Is that what it’s called?” Alex asked about the pier name.

“Yeah, kinda ironic huh?” John chuckled a bit.

“Yeah. And I can totally do that.” Alex told him. “Is anyone allergic to anything? Or does anyone have dietary restrictions? Just so I don’t bring something they can’t eat.” Alex asked.

“Nope, you’re good.” John promised.

“Alright cool.” Alex smiled to himself as he added some of the same spices to the chicken as he had the vegetables, then some barbecue sauce as well.

Suddenly a phone could be heard ringing in the background from John’s call. “Yeah it should be good. Eliza is excited for this too. Angie thinks pretty highly of you, and she doesn’t do that with a lotta people, so Eliza knows you must be pretty good too.”

“I’m glad. And it’s a mutual feeling, everything I’ve heard about Eliza is just wonderful.”

Someone said something to John. “Welp, duty calls, I gotta go save a life. I’ll talk to you later Alex.”

“Bye John.” Alex said and ended the call.

Alex finished cooking his dinner and ate while thinking about dinner on Saturday, or more accurately; who he was having dinner with. Eventually he decided to send Angelica a text, figuring she would be the best person to give advice on how to make Eliza and her family like him.

[Hey Angie, I’m having dinner with John, Eliza, Maria, and Philip on Saturday and I’m kinda worried because like I know your sister and her family means a lot to John and you and everyone else is close to them, so I want them to like me, but I don’t know much of anything about kids or Eliza or Maria. Help?]

It didn’t take long for Angelica to respond. [I see. Looking for an inside scoop on how to win my sister’s affection, Alexander?]

[You make it sound so cryptic…]

[But yes, I am.] Alex sent two messages back-to-back.

[Fine. Where do you wanna start?]

[Maybe Philip? Idk, I would hope that he’d be the easiest.] Alex suggested.

[Alright, well first off, he probably is, Philip is a really sweet kid. It’s not hard to get him to like you, I promise. He’s five, it’s pretty easy.] Angelica told him.

[What is that supposed to mean?] Alex sent back.

[It means his favorite past-times are coloring and playing with toy cars. Once Philip got past his like, little baby that only recognizes his moms phase, it’s been easy to get him to like people. He loves making new friends.]

[Okay but like, is there something specific could I do to make sure he likes me?] Alex asked, biting his lip as he typed it out.

[Okay, well John has a ton of coloring stuff for Philip and I can almost guarantee that Philip is gonna ask for it as soon as he gets there. Take interest in whatever he’s coloring. Compliment his picture even if it’s nothing but scribbles.] Angelica instructed.

[Is it really that simple?] Alex seemed surprised.

[I told you, Philip is an easy kid.]

[Alright. Any easy tips for making Eliza and Maria like me?] Alex asked next.

[You’re a good guy and you make John happy, it might not seem like it, but you’ve already got Eliza down. If John likes someone, she’s fast to follow.] Angelica sent one message and then a second one right after.

[Maria is a social worker and she’s passionate about her work as well as funding for social services, I don’t know what you and Washington have been working on for social services funding, but if you can get talking about how important they are, you’ll probably get her appreciation, and if you are cooking something up in the city budget, telling her certainly wouldn’t hurt if you’re allowed to.]

[Alright. Sounds good. Thanks for the help Angie.]

[Any time, Alex.] Angelica sent.

[So what’s the deal with you and John right now anyway? You went on a date, and spent the next day together, are you guys a couple now?] She sent another text right after.

[We haven’t really put a label on it yet tbh.] Alex answered, wondering if this had anything to do with another bet.

[That’s fair, dating in your late 30s isn’t as simple as in your early 20s.] Angelica sent. If this was another bet, Angelica was doing a far better job at hiding than Lafayette would’ve.

[You can say that again, lol.] Alex told her.

They continued to text back and forth for a while, talking a bit more about Alex and John’s relationship, which led to a conversation about other things.

The next morning at work, Alex got curious and pulled open his current budget proposal. He wasn’t cutting any social services funding, but he hadn’t gotten around to giving them any more funding either. Washington had promised in his campaign to increase funding to services like these, but balancing a budget for a city is a lot harder than for a household and it literally was a balancing act. Cut too much from one sector and piss people off. Cut from a different area and a different group will get mad. And every group thinks they should be prioritized in the budget. 

However last night’s conversation with Angelica got Alex thinking about just how important social services were. He thought about how maybe if there was more funding, social workers, like Maria could work more stable hours, in addition to probably having a lot of other positives too, besides an easier work day.

Alex did some searching through a file of various budget-related research reports and found some good reports for social-worker funding. The reports indicated that if they upped funding and could keep it up, it might reduce the need for homeless services in the future, and even sooner help reduce the need for the police, not to mention that one report said exactly what he had thought about social workers working more stable hours. Of course, Alex had known this already before looking for reports, but him knowing something, and a report with evidence and facts was a whole different thing. Alex began combing through the budget, and scribbling math down on a yellow legal pad, his calculator was out and he barely paused typing things in it or writing numbers down on the legal pad. In no time at all Alex was taking the current budget, the reports he’d found, and a rough plan to Washington’s office.

“Hello Alexander, what are we looking at today?” George asked as he turned away from his computer, focusing his attention on Alex.

“Funding for social services, specifically towards hiring and better funding for social workers and the services they provide.” Alex explained. He didn’t sit down, instead opting to stand as he spoke, as he was too hyped up to sit still. 

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.” George told him.

“As you would know it was a campaign promise of yours to increase funding for social-services. Right now we’ve planned to maintain the current level of funding while the need for social worker based services increases, as shown in this report here.” Alex explained and laid the report on Washington’s desk. The important information was highlighted already.

“Alright.” Washington nodded as he looked over the report.

“This study shows that if we increase funding to social services that social workers provide, in time it will decrease the need for homeless supports because more people will get the help they need to thrive before they become homeless.” Alex laid the study out on Washington’s desk.

“Interesting.” Washington was looking at the report, and his interest seemed genuine.

“This study here, suggests that more funding for these kinds of social services can decrease need for policing, especially in lower-income areas. This means in the future, we end up saving money, because police cost a lot more than social workers.” Alex laid out the fourth study. He was excited, talking not just with his voice but his hands too as best he could with a stack of reports in his hand.

“Huh. This is a very compelling argument for social workers and their services. What do you have in mind to bring in more funds for these services?” George looked up at Alex.

“Well we’ve already cut funding in a lot of places that will upset Republicans and the elderly or wealthier population of people in the city, cutting more from these areas would be unwise, so that’s out.” Alex explained.

Washington nodded a bit.

“At first I thought maybe a fund-raising gala, but that’s no good. We already have three set up for the rest of the year and this isn’t school arts programs needing new supplies where it’s a one-and-done deal, raise money, buy new supplies, and revisit the issue in a year or two. Nor is it a library remodel where we drop some coin and are done with the issue. This needs a long-term sustained increase in funding or we might as well do nothing at all.” Alex explained.

“Makes sense.” George told him. “So what is your plan?”

“Well the current city sales tax is 4.5%, and the current total sales tax is 8.875 percent. It’s basically already 9%, I don’t know about other people, but when calculating how much a total would be I just find what ten percent is and remove what I estimate to be a percent. If we raise the sales tax to 8.885% and put the revenue from that towards better funding social workers there will be an extra 18 million dollars to spend, which when you look at what we’re currently spending, it does make a difference.” Alex held up the legal pad with all his math on it, there was lots of big numbers and cross-multiplying and such.

George didn’t bother trying to read anything off the legal pad, just looking at it gave him a headache it was so unorganized. “You make a compelling argument but how do you think the people of New York City will take this? People don’t like taxes going up.” George pointed out.

“I would hope the people will realize that it’s an increase of 0.01%. It’s practically nothing.”

“If it’s practically nothing then it is really worth it to bother?” George asked Alex.

“Sir, respectfully, it will lead to an additional 18 million dollars every year!” Alex explained, confused by Washington’s sudden change in demeanor.

“So it’s gonna equate to over 18 million dollars?” George asked.

“Yes! But New York City has a population of 8.3- almost 8.4 million people! It works out to 2 dollars and 18 cents per person! Surely the people of New York can scoff up measly 2 dollars over the course of a year! Especially if it means we can lower taxes in the future!” Alex exclaimed, growing frustrated with Washington’s questions and doubts.

“That right there.” George pointed at Alex. “ _That_ is what the people and city council need to be told.”

“What?” Alex was confused.

“I was sold on the idea from the beginning, Alexander. But the people of New York need to hear that argument. As will the city council members at the meeting on Monday if you want them to agree to this.” Washington explained.

“The people won’t listen to you on the matter though, or me. I’ve learned that the hard way. People don’t believe words from the politician’s mouth, they believe the words from the journalist’s mouth. I could scream it from the rooftops until the cows come home, but very few people would actually listen.” Alex frowned.

“So what are you gonna do?” George asked, pushing Alex to find his own solution for his predicament.

Alex was quiet for a moment. “I’ll write under a pseudonym, and sell the rights to the story to The New York Times and then donate the money from the sale of the rights back to The Times so I don’t make any profit off of it. I’ve done it before with other papers. I’ll say I got information from an inside source at the mayor’s office, I’ll make sure they post the story online Monday morning, just a couple minutes after city council votes. I have connections there, I can make sure it happens as planned.” Alex told Washington.

“There you go.” George smiled a bit. “Now go write the pitch for city council. This will all be for nothing if they don’t approve it.”

“Right away sir. Thank you.”

“Of course. This is exactly why I picked you for the job. You found a way to potentially save the city millions in the future, for the cost of a, cup of coffee.”

Alex smiled. “Can I use that in my article?”

“Don’t quote me, that might raise suspicion and while this isn’t illegal it might seem, sketchy to our critics. However it would certainly be a pity if you didn’t.” George smiled back. “I trust you have your own copy of these reports?"

“Yes, of course sir. Those are yours to keep.”

“Thank you, Hamilton. I mean it. This is the exact reason I hired you for this job.”

Alex smiled to himself more as he walked back to his office. If all this work could save even one kid from ending up on the streets, it will have been worth it in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Yes, the pier Alex will get off at is actually called the American Veterans Memorial Pier, I did not plan that, I choose what neighborhood John lived in a while ago and found the name of the pier earlier today so that's fun  
> -BTW Alex's roasted veggies that he makes for dinner are my favorite way to eat vegetables. Cauliflower, peppers, and cherry/grape tomatoes tossed in those exact spices baked for 15-25 minutes (the peppers and tomatoes need less time than the cauliflower) at 350°F *chefs kiss*


	16. When You Smile I Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Brief mention of drug-use
> 
> And just a quick little note because I don't know if I ever explained it in the story, Philip calls Eliza mama and Maria mom

Soon it was Saturday. Alex went to the bakery John recommended, picked up a cake, and then took the 4 o’clock ferry to Brooklyn, or more specifically to Bay Ridge. When Alex got off the ferry he went over to the street where people could stop for drop-offs and pick-ups. He looked around for John’s Civic, but eventually spotted John sitting in a bright blue Jeep instead.

Alex had worn a short-sleeve button up shirt that was a small blue and white checker pattern, with simple grey shorts as it was summertime and John had said it wasn’t super formal. His hair was in a ponytail as always.

Alex walked over to John’s Jeep and knocked on the window.

John looked over and smiled as he unlocked the car door.

Alex opened the door and got in. 

“Hey.” John smiled. “I was about to text you and tell you I was in my Jeep.” He told Alex as he leaned over and kissed Alex on the cheek.

Alex smiled as John did that then turned his head and stole a quick kiss. He liked that John and him could just casually express their affection for one another like they just had. He understood and valued relationships where partners asked every time before doing something as simple as holding hands or giving a cheek kiss, and it wasn’t that he didn’t like that, but he liked even more that he and John didn’t need to do that. Usually they could guess if the other wouldn’t be okay with something and they had talked about it, and promised each other to simply tell the other if they were having an off day and didn’t want affection. They of course would ask before doing anything more than a peck on the lips. 

“Does this mean next time I get picked up it’ll be the Maserati?” Alex asked, looking over at John who was wearing a simple, dark blue t-shirt with black skinny jeans and his hair up in a bun.

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I grabbed the wrong set of car keys and was too lazy to grab the right ones.” John admitted as he began driving.

Alex rolled his eyes and put his seatbelt on. “First world problems.” He shook his head. “You look very nice today by the way.”

“It’s just a t-shirt and skinny jeans.” John glanced over at him.

“That’s kinda the point, you make a simple outfit look sophisticated, and I bet those jeans make your ass look great.”

“Well I certainly didn’t buy them to make my ass look like shit.” John mumbled.

Alex chuckled and grinned at him. “How was work last night?” Alex knew John worked last night because he’d been texting with John before bed and suddenly John sent him a message telling him to sleep well and that he had to run into surgery.

“Yeah I was. It wasn’t bad, got to scrub in on this surgery last night, the one I ran off to go do. Basically a woman was jogging after dark and got hit by a bus because it was dark and she hadn’t been wearing any like reflective clothing. We thought there was no way she was gonna make it off the table alive, but a small chance she survives surgery versus no chance she survives if we do nothing, obviously we should operate.” John explained, stopping as he noticed himself rambling a little.

“Makes sense.” Alex nodded. The truth was Alex really didn’t mind John’s rambling.

“Her pelvis was crushed, the bones in her legs were shattered, and her abdominal cavity was a mess, but she survived surgery. Being able to walk into the waiting room and tell her mom that she made it out alive felt amazing. I’ve never done hard drugs but I swear no drug-related high could even touch how amazing that felt.” John told Alex while keeping his eyes on the road.

Alex smiled. “You’re really passionate about what you do.” He commented. He loved seeing John get so excited even if Alex had basically no idea what on earth John was getting excited over.

“I mean, yeah, if you’re a surgeon and you lose passion for your work you need to quit.” John said simply.

“I just mean, I don’t think I've ever seen your passion for your work so clearly before.” Alex explained as he made sure to hold onto the cake as the car came to a stop at a red light so that the cake wouldn’t go flying.

John nodded a bit. “How was work for you yesterday?” He asked, looking over at Alex.

“Actually I think I’ll wait to talk about it until there’s more people to share the news with.” Alex told him.

“Alright then, keep your secrets.” John chuckled.

Soon they were back at John’s house. John parked in the garage and got out. “As you can see, got my Civic on the left and on the right is my Maserati.” John told Alex.

“That is one nice car.” Alex said, looking at the Maserati.

“Yeah my insurance company would agree.” John chuckled a bit.

“I didn’t even think of that. Just insuring my Corolla feels expensive some days, I don’t wanna think about the insurance for that cost.”

“I don’t either.” John headed to the door to go into the house, where he kicked off his shoes and then waited for Alex.

Alex walked over, realizing what he had forgotten to do. “I never got myself any crocs. I was so busy last night I didn’t even think about it.” He admitted.

“Well then it’s a good thing I did.” John smiled and pointed down at something. Sitting with all the other shoes was a brand new pair of black crocs.

“Thank you, John.” Alex smiled. He changed his shoes out for the crocs and followed John inside, the garage door led them into the basement living room.

“I forgot to ask, was it actually faster to take the ferry?” John asked as they went up to the kitchen.

“It was, yes, at least for the time of day. If it were the middle of the night it might be easier to drive but during rush hour? Hell yeah. And cheaper than the gas I’d waste stuck in traffic I think.”

“I guess you’ll just have to take the ferry to get here from now on.” John told him.

“I guess I will.” Alex nodded. “Do you need any help making anything or setting anything up?”

“I think I’m good. You can just put the cake in the fridge. Eliza and Maria are bringing a salad, potatoes are in the oven, the steaks will go on the grill sooner to when we’re actually sitting down for dinner and the garlic bread can just get popped in the oven for like five minutes while the potatoes finish up.” John explained.

“Sounds like a pretty good dinner. When are the girls arriving?” Alex asked as he pulled open the fridge and set the cake inside, easily finding space in John’s fridge. He figured John must’ve gone shopping and cleaned and organized his fridge today, because it was no secret in their friend group that John could be extremely forgetful when it came to remembering to go grocery shopping.

“Any time now really. Maria was off at 4 today, so it’s just a matter of how long it took her to drive home from wherever she was- whether that’s the office she works at or somewhere else who knows- then however long she needed to get changed and ready to come here.” John explained. “They probably won’t be long though because the second Philip hears he’s coming over here he can’t sit still. He’s not necessarily biased towards anyone in our friend group but like, he’s totally biased towards me.” John chuckled.

Alex nodded in understanding. “Alright."

In no time at all there was a knock on the front door.

John went over and opened it, Philip instantly rushed to hug him. John picked up the small boy. “Hi Philip!” He smiled brightly at the child.

“Hi uncle John!” Philip exclaimed, holding onto John tightly. He was wearing a simple red t-shirt and blue cargo shorts. Some of the hair from the front of his head had been pulled back and tied up so that his hair wouldn’t fall in his face.

Maria and Eliza came into the house after Philip. “Hello hello.” Maria smiled as she entered.

“He’s been excited to see you all day.” Eliza explained to John, talking about Philip.

Eliza was wearing a loose-fitting light blue tank top and blue skinny jeans with the cuffs rolled so they were more like capris than full length pants and her hair down. Maria was wearing red denim shorts and a white shirt button up shirt with the top few buttons undone and her sleeves rolled, her hair up in a messy bun and she had sunglasses sitting on top of her head.

“No worries. It’s because he knows I like to spoil him.” John told her, then turned back to the child in his arms. “Philip, guess what I got you?”

“What is it?!” Philip asked excitedly.

“A new coloring book, and  brand new Mr Sketch markers.” John spoke as though he was as excited about this as Philip was.

“Can I have them? Please? I’ll color you a picture!” Philip offered.

“Of course! I need new pictures on my fridge.” John smiled and carried Philip over to the breakfast bar, where the coloring supplies were waiting to be used. There was a coloring book, a pack of Mr Sketch markers, a separate pencil case, and a small stack of blank printer paper. John put Philip down on one of the stools and started up a conversation with him as he opened the markers for Philip.

Alex looked over at Eliza and Maria. “Hi, we never officially got introduced at Washingtons’ barbecue,” Alex spoke to Maria. “I’m Alexander but everyone just calls me Alex unless they’re mad at me, which can be fairly often, or it’s just George Washington. I am rambling, I’m just gonna stop now.” Alex said awkwardly. He held out his hand for a handshake.

She chuckled a bit. “It’s alright. I’m Maria. It’s lovely to meet you in person rather than just hearing John ramble about you over the phone to Eliza.” Maria shook Alex’s hand and smiled.

“It’s wonderful to see you again Alexander, how have you been? Hopefully much better than last I saw you.” Eliza asked.

“I’ve been good, much better than at the barbecue. What about you two?” Alex asked the girls in return.

“Well, you’ve been making John very happy and seeing as he’s my best friend in the entire world; when he’s happy I’m happy.” Eliza explained smiling a bit.

“And when she’s happy, I’m happy.” Maria smiled at Eliza and wrapped her arms around Eliza from behind, resting her head on her wife’s shoulder.

Eliza smiled and kissed Maria’s head.

“That's really sweet.” Alex smiled at them. He could see the love between them, and it honestly warmed his heart. Eliza and Maria seemed so pure and loving and this only confirmed it for him.

John then came over. “Maria, how was work today?” He asked as he took the salad Eliza was holding from her.

“It was long. You know how our office building is ancient? Well today the air conditioning crapped out so it was disgustingly warm all day.” Maria shook her head.

“Well luckily for you, my air conditioning is working just fine.” John smiled at Maria as he put the salad in the fridge so it would stay fresh until it was closer to when they would actually be eating.

“Thank goodness for that.” Maria chuckled a bit.

“I made iced tea this morning, anyone want some?” John asked.

“Iced tea like cold tea or sweetened cold tea?” Alex asked.

“Sweetened cold tea. From scratch, not powder.” John explained as he pulled out a pitcher. “Anyone want?”

“John, be careful your southern is showing.” Eliza teased him.

“Ignore her. I would love some. Pip bud, do you want some sweet tea?” Maria asked.

Philip nodded. 

John smiled and began pouring glasses for everyone, making sure to use a plastic cup for Philip.

As John, Eliza, and Maria got into a conversation. Alex walked over and sat next to Philip, he was unsure of what to say.

Philip ended up speaking first. “You’re uncle John’s friend, right?” Philip asked, barely looking up from the picture he was coloring.

Alex nodded. “Yeah I am, my name is Alex.”

“I’m Philip.” He said and looked at Alex’s prosthetic. “You have a fake leg.” He mumbled.

“Yeah I do.” Alex told him.

“So now you can just, take your leg off?” Philip asked curiously.

Alex nodded. “Yeah I can.”

“That’s cool.” Philip said and looked back at his picture. “Do you like drawing?” He seemed to be full of questions.

“I love drawing.” Alex smiled. The truth was he didn’t have a single artistic bone in his body, but Philip didn’t need to know that.

“Do you wanna draw with me?”

“Sure.” Alex smiled.

“Uncle John got me Mr Sketch markers, they’re my favorite kind.” Philip told him as he handed Alex a piece of paper.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Alex asked as he took the paper.

“Because they smell like fruits and nice things! Smell this one!” He said and held up the purple marker he was coloring with.

Alex smelled the marker, which was grape scented. “Wow, I think I need some of these for my office at work.”

“Do you work with Uncle John and mama?” Philip asked.

“No, I work with George Washington though.” Alex was unsure if Philip would know him by name but also didn’t know what else Philip would refer to him as.

“Grandpa George?” Philip asked.

Alex nodded.

“That’s really cool! I like grandpa George and grandma Martha. Mom says they love me and Mary and William because they don’t have their own kids or grandkids.”

“Martha and George are really nice people.” Alex agreed.

John looked over at Philip and Alex and smiled at the two. It made John really happy to see the two most important guys in his life getting along.

“Does he have a lot of experience with kids?” Maria asked and took a sip of her iced tea.

“Nope.” John told her. “I guess he’s just a natural.” He looked at the two again, smiling more.

“It’s impressive.” Eliza added, she was sitting on John’s counter- with his okay of course- also watching Alex and her son interact. “He seems really nice.”

“He means a lot to me.” John admitted. “I spent pretty much the whole day with him last Saturday and it was just, amazing. All we did was watch movies and eat Chinese food from that one place in Queens, but it was amazing.” John smiled a bit and looked down at his shoes.

Eliza grinned. “Sounds like you’ve got it bad John.”

Maria chuckled. “You can certainly say that again. John’s practically drooling over him. Wouldn’t you agree?” Maria looked at Eliza who nodded in agreement.

“I am not.” John shook his head.

“Oh yes you are.” Eliza told him.

“Nuh-uh.” John said childishly.

“Uh-huh. You’ve got it bad.” Eliza pointed out.

“It’s not that bad.” John tried.

“Whatever helps you sleep at John Laurens.” Maria chuckled a bit. “You can tell yourself you don’t until you’re blue in the face, but you are head over heels for that man.” 

John wouldn’t admit it yet, but deep down he knew Maria was right.


	17. You'll Blow Us All Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions/Discussion of child abuse/neglect, Discussion of drug use/addiction, Brief mentions of abusive relationships
> 
> (I promise it's not actually as bad as it sounds)

Soon they were all sitting down at the dinner table. Alex and John sat next to each other, with Eliza and Maria opposite them, Maria directly across the table from Alex, and Philip sat at the head of the table. Maria was quick to cut up Philip’s steak and potato so he could easily eat them.

“So Alex, John tells me you work with Washington in the mayor’s office?” Maria attempted to start up a conversation as she set Philip’s plate in front of him. “There you go love.” She smiled at her son.

Philip smiled back. “Thank you mom.” He told her and began eating his food, abandoning his hot wheel’s car on the table.

“Yeah, I do. I’m working the budget for him.” Alex told her. “I was a lawyer for almost 10 years, but then Washington got elected and invited me to do this, and I just, knew I had to do it. I quit my job at the law firm that same day.” Alex went on to explain.

Maria nodded. “That’s impressive.” She told him and took a bite of salad.

“Washington knew from their time in Iraq together that he would be a good fit for the job.” John added. “And he is.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to stand working in politics.” Maria chuckled a bit. “I’m quite happy being a social worker.”

“Somebody actually mentioned that that was what you do. I honestly think it’s more impressive than my job.” Alex told her. “I know if there had been better social services around when I was growing up, well it would’ve saved me a lot of trouble and heartache.”

“That’s exactly why I went into social work.” Maria smiled a bit. “I figured, if I could help just one kid, not go through what I did, then that’s all that mattered.” She explained.

“I actually said the same thing to myself yesterday at work!” Alex exclaimed. “Me and Washington are cooking up a plan to increase funding for social services, specifically, better funding for social workers.” Alex told her.

“Really?” Maria asked, seeming surprised.

“I mean, city council still needs to approve it, but yeah.” Alex nodded. “You’ll be looking at a boost of over 18 million dollars a year if it’s approved.”

“Holy shit are you serious?” Maria’s eyes widened. She glanced over at Philip, who didn’t notice the curse word, as he was busy pushing his hot wheel’s car around the table again.

Alex nodded. “Totally serious.”

Eliza looked over at John. She didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt her wife or Alex, but the look she gave John was a happy, excited look.

“18 million additional dollars for social worker based services means we could have a social worker permanently placed in probably about 200 more schools. We hire more social workers and we’d be able to work more stable hours. That would be- well that would be life changing not only for the people who require the help of social workers but for those who work as social workers and by extension their families.” Maria looked over at Eliza, a smile wide on her face.

“How do you plan to come up with the 18 mil?” John joined the conversation, when he finished asking the question he took a bite of garlic bread.

“A very very small tax increase, the equivalent of 2 dollars and 18 cents a year per person.” Alex was working on different ways of phrasing it, trying to find the least harsh one to use in his article for the New York Times.

“So, you’re telling me; that for the cost of a chocolate bar the city can help hundreds of more children?” Eliza asked. “My wife could work more stable hours and be home for our son more?” She seemed surprised and excited, but also almost upset maybe that that was all it would cost them.

Alex nodded. “Like I said, city council still needs to approve it and there will probably be some public outcry but honestly, moving the sales tax rate from 8.875% to 8.885% is a tiny jump.”

“Why did no one think to do this before?” Eliza seemed to be in some sort of shock.

“Because the previous mayors didn’t hire a budget manager who was orphaned at 12 years old and had to fight tooth and nail to get to America and then had to join the army to be able to afford college. But Mayor Washington did.” Alex grinned at them.

“Well I’m really thankful that he did.” Maria smiled back at him.

“What you said about how the budget increase will help things, do you mind if I quote that in an article I’m writing for The Times about this? I can credit you or leave it anonymous. Eliza what you said too about your wife being home for your son more.” Alex asked them.

“An article for The Times?” John seemed confused.

“I’m writing under a pseudonym, making my arguments for the tax increase in a way that the people will actually believe and understand.” Alex had set his cutlery down so he could make hand gestures as he spoke.

“No one believes the politicians word, but a journalist says something and it’s the absolute truth.” Eliza mumbled. “Of course you can quote me.”

“Me as well, but, uh, anonymously please?” Maria almost seemed nervous to ask for it to be anonymous.

“Of course.” Alex said reassuringly.

After dinner Alex wandered into the backyard to get some air. Like the Washingtons’ patio, John had a large deck with a roof. Alex was leaning against the railing looking out into the yard, just thinking about his plan and his article and the effect doing this could have.

John’s yard was about the same size as the Washington’s, maybe a little smaller. On the far end of the deck he had a hot tub that could easily be accessed via the door to the deck in John’s bedroom and on the other end of it a porch swing. In the back corner there was a shed, and a small cement path along the fence to get to it. There was a firepit in the middle of the yard, and otherwise it was really just open grass.

After a while the sliding door to the backyard opened and Maria came outside. “Hey.” She said simply.

Alex looked over. “Hi.”

“Is all that true? What you said about your childhood over dinner?” Maria asked as she leaned against the railing next to him, but looking towards the house rather than the yard.

“Every bit of it.” Alex looked down at the grass of the yard. “My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad took my older brother and my mother kept me. Two years later my mom died. I tried to find my father and brother but they disappeared into thin air. I moved in with a cousin but he wasn’t really ready to be taking care of a kid. I started working at 12 years old to pay for my schooling because my cousin couldn’t afford it.”

Maria was toying with a coin that had been in her pocket. “My parents had no interest in being parents. They were drug addicts and didn’t really have jobs.” She explained. “From the time I was 7 until I was 14 I would wake up before the sun once a month on welfare check day so I could intercept the mailman. I would take their checks and pay the bills and buy groceries, then leave whatever was left over for them.” She admitted to Alex.

Alex nodded a bit.

“They never even realized what I did because they were too high to realize they should’ve been getting three thousand a month and only were getting a couple hundred.” Maria told him.

“That was really brave of you.” Alex complimented her.

“It was normal for me. I finally got a job at 14 and didn’t have to do it as much, because at that point they were starting to get suspicious. When I was 17 I finally left home. It wasn’t easy finishing high school and starting university, but it was worth it in the end. I’ve been doing social work for almost 15 years, I’ve helped hundreds of kids and families. A lot of people leave the job because it can be really mentally taxing, but I don’t think I could ever do anything else.” Maria continued playing with the coin.

“I don’t understand people who say social services are a drain on public funding.” Alex shook his head. “If city council approves this, in the future it could lead to a lowered need for homeless services and less policing necessary in lower-income areas.”

Maria nodded quickly in agreement, getting excited by what Alex was saying. “And when you can lower the need for policing, you can increase spending yet more on social services. I mean, imagine a world where when 911 gets a call for domestic disturbance and instead of police who carry guns and weapons enter the house and kids see their parents get arrested; a social worker comes, properly de-escalates the situation, and gets the family the help they actually need whatever that might look like. I’m not saying police should be abolished all together, but, the system desperately needs reform.”

“I couldn’t have said that better myself.” Alex smiled a bit. “Spoken like a true politician. You sure you have no interest in politics?” Alex teased.

Maria chuckled a bit, then looked down. “Do you really think that city council will approve this?” Maria asked, as she looked into the house, at Eliza who was standing next to Philip as he colored another picture at the breakfast bar.

“They’d be stupid not to.” Alex offered. “I hope they will, I’m working really really hard to try and make sure they’ll see that it’s worth it.”

“I just mean- it’s rare to find a day that me and Eliza are both off all day. Twenty-four uninterrupted hours for family time. I don’t think Philip really notices it yet but, me and Eliza certainly do. We’re really lucky that Eliza holds a high enough position that she’s in charge of the nurses schedules for her department. She schedules her shifts around mine, so that one of us is always home for Philip. Some days I’m climbing into bed as she’s getting up to go to work and we barely see each other. We make it work, but it doesn’t mean that we like it.”

Alex nodded. “I know it sucks but I have to admit, it’s nice to see that you guys can deal with that and still have such a strong relationship.”

“Eliza is, the love of my life, I would walk through fire for her, or worse yet I’d walk over Philips’s Lego for her.” She chuckled. “Some days it’s tough but then I get home and she just smiles the biggest smile ever as I come in the door and all the hardship just, melts away.” Maria smiled widely at the thought of her wife.

Alex smiled. “Sappho would be proud.” He chuckled.

“I’m glad she is now. It took me and Eliza forever to actually get together. I was roommates with her sister Peggy in university for a while. At the time I was in a, not-so-great relationship. Eliza helped me get out of that situation and then we just sat around pining for like, half a year because we both thought the feelings weren’t mutual.” Maria explained.

“I always find that funny, lesbians- in my own personal experiences- always complain about being single but then they’ll mutually yearn for each other for half a year, not making a move because they’re convinced she won’t feel the same way.”

“Yeah that’s about it.” Maria chuckled a bit.

“Well, I’m glad you and Eliza finally got it together and got together.” Alex told her. “You two are, relationship goals, there’s no better way to say it, that’s what you are.”

Maria nodded a bit. “Eliza showed me what it’s like to truly and properly be loved, and I’ll love her until the end of the universe for that.”

Alex was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “Philip seems like a really nice kid.”

“He got all the best of Eliza and John.” Maria looked at her son, who looked to be excitedly telling Eliza and John something, holding up a piece of paper with a drawing on it.

“And you.” Alex added.

Maria looked over seeming to be caught off guard by the comment.

“I mean, okay, he’s not your biological kid, but you are his mom. I can tell that he’s a caring and compassionate kid, like you are. Not necessarily about the same issues, but, still compassionate and kind-hearted.” Alex explained.

“You think so?” Maria looked at her family, then at Alex.

“Family isn’t all blood you know. The blood of the brotherhood is thicker than the water of the womb. The family you make for yourself is what matters, not the biological relatives you’re stuck with. I mean I don’t have a biological family, but Angelica, Hercules, John, Lafayette, George, they’re my family.”

Maria smiled a bit. “You’re a really good friend, Alex Hamilton.”

“As are you, Maria, uh,” He realized he didn’t know her last name.

“Schuyler. I took Eliza’s last name.”

Alex nodded. “Well, Maria Schuyler, you’re a good friend, and an amazing mom, and a super-hero of a social worker.”

Maria smiled more at him.

Alex smiled back. “I think we should get those three out here and have a fire if you don’t have to leave soon.”

“I think that is a wonderful idea.” Maria agreed.

Soon they were outside sitting in front of a fire, roasting marshmallows and making smores. Alex was using marshmallows to help make funny faces and such, making Philip laugh and smile.

By the end of the night it was safe to say, he succeeded at making friends with Eliza and Maria, and Philip liked him too.

Philip was getting sleepy by the time him and his moms were ready to go home. He had talked everyone’s ear off, and drawn three new pictures for John’s fridge.

“Say goodbye to Uncle John and Alex, Pip.” Eliza told him.

Philip hugged John. “Bye uncle John. Bye uncle Alex.” He waved at Alex from John’s arms.

A large smile spread across Alex’s face upon being called ‘uncle’, it wasn’t even something he realized he might’ve liked, but now that he heard it, it made him insanely happy. “Bye Philip.” He waved back at the small boy.

The Schuylers then left and John turned to Alex. “I’d say that went pretty well.”

Alex nodded. “Definitely. That was like, a million times better than the best version of the evening I could’ve imagined.” Alex admitted.

“You and Maria seemed to get pretty friendly.” John commented as he began scraping plates into a compost bin, then rinsing them before putting them into the dishwasher.

“She’s really cool. We actually did have a fair amount in common.” Alex explained.

“I knew you guys would. She’s the second strongest woman I know after Angelica. No offense to Eliza but Eliza couldn’t hurt a fly, whereas Maria would commit mass murder to protect her family. She’s faced hardships but didn’t see them as that. She took them as motivation, and inspiration, turned them into drive, to do and be better, and make change, and she goes out and does that everyday. Just like you.” John smiled.

“You really think that highly of me?” Alex seemed a little surprised. He was helping John with the dishes, but stopped what he was doing and looked at John.

“Of course I do. You’ve made something for yourself from nothing, and that is impressive, and inspiring, and sexy.” John grinned at him.

“You’re allowed to just tell me that you’re horny, you know that, right?” Alex asked him.

“But where’s the fun in that?” John asked, grinning more.

Yeah, the night had definitely been a success.


	18. The Issue On The Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Brief mentions of drug addiction/use

In a flash it was Monday morning, Alex walked up to Washington as they both headed towards the meeting with the city council members. He had his briefcase in one hand and a to-go mug of coffee in the other. He was wearing his usual work attire; today it was a black suit, a white dress shirt, with navy blue and baby blue striped tie and his hair in a neat ponytail as always.

“Good morning Alexander, I trust you have everything ready to go for today?” George asked, looking over at Alex as they walked.

“Yes sir.” Alex nodded. “I have my pitch for city council memorized to the best of my ability, and The Times has my article. My contact at The Times will be waiting for a text message to publish the article online. They’ll be the very first to report on this, and it’ll be with my article.”

“Good.” George told him.

“I was even able to speak to a social worker and get some quotes on how much difference it will make.” Alex said, trying to impress Washington, even if he didn’t realize that that was what he was doing.

“Excellent. I hope you included some of that in your pitch too.”

“Of course I did.” Alex confirmed and took a sip of his coffee.

“Well then, hopefully this will go smoothly.”

They then got to the meeting room and took their seats. It wasn’t long before the meeting got underway. After discussing a couple of other issues it was time to talk about what Alex had spent the entire day Friday and Sunday prepping for. He had his speech written and was ready to explain anything, as council members could stop him at any time to ask questions.

“Alright, the next issue on the table, Budget Manager Hamilton’s plan to increase financial support for social worker-based services. Hamilton, take it away.” George announced to the council.

Alex stood, making sure to button his suit jacket as he waited until the shuffling of papers from the councilors died down as they pulled up the folder with the reports to look at for this. He was good at presenting plans to the council. For Alex doing so almost felt like being back in a courtroom, and courtrooms had always been a place he thrived. It wasn’t long until he was ready to speak.

“Ladies and gentlemen of city council, today I am pleased to present a plan that will help hundreds of children and families, and in future could save the city of New York money by lowering spending for homeless shelters and policing if followed through upon.” Alex started. Alex made sure to move around and make eye contact with various members of city council, as well as Washington as he spoke.

George smiled at him and nodded a bit when Alex made eye contact with him.

“Currently the New York City’s sales tax rate sits at 4.5%, and the total sales tax rate paid is 8.875%. I understand that increasing taxes goes against some of your campaign promises; but ladies and gentlemen, if we increase the city sales tax rate from 4.5% to 4.51%, a change of just 0.01 percent- the city will receive over an additional 18 million dollars. I would like to use this to increase funding for social-worker services.” Alex explained.

“And why should we do something like that? 18 million dollars is practically nothing, and like you said, raising taxes goes against many of our campaign promises.” One of the councilors, Thomas Jefferson, spoke up.

Alex took a deep breath to maintain his composure, Jefferson had seemed to oppose almost every idea Alex proposed during his time as budget manager so far. He was a Republican, one of very few on city council. He was a tall man with a medium build, skin very similar to Lafayette’s, and large curly hair that wasn’t quite an afro, but was close to it. He had dark brown, cold, calculating eyes and a southern accent, having grown up in Virginia. He had a short neatly kept beard and was potentially the loudest, most opinionated man on city council.

Jefferson was around the same age as Alex, maybe a year or two younger. He often wore very bright colors even if it wasn’t always necessarily appropriate. Washington liked Jefferson though, even if they did have some opposing ideals.

“This increase will allow about 200 new social workers to be hired this year alone.” Alex explained. “Currently, social workers work long, unstable hours. 12 hour long shifts and they’re still on call even after they’ve gone home. Social workers desperately need more funding. Not to mention that as the studies I have given you all copies of show, increasing social worker presence in lower income areas over time could mean we have to put less funding into homeless shelters, due to a decreased need, and less policing in these areas, because social workers can intercept problems before the police are necessary."

“It would take years for that- that fantasy to become a reality and everyone here knows it.” Jefferson pointed out.

“It might seem that way but if we keep this funding in place for all four years of our terms here, it will mean 800 more social workers by the time of the next city election.” Alex explained.

“And what happens when the next mayor comes in and cuts this funding? Then 800 social workers will be out of a job. This entire, ‘plan’ you’ve come up with seems to me to be; worthless.” Jefferson continued to argue.

“How do you not get it? If you look at the predicted reports as the city grows over the next four years, sales tax revenue will increase greatly, there is a large chance that by the time these four years are over we could lower the tax rate back to it’s original 8.875% and maintain the funding for social-worker-services.”

“And how much will this cost the people of New York City, each year?” This time it wasn’t Jefferson, but Madison, another city council member who was friends with and shared similar ideals to Jefferson.

Madison, like Jefferson, was a Republican originally from Virginia. Alex had no idea why the two were in New York now, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Madison had dark skin like Hercules’ and was a couple years older than Alex. He kept his hair fairly short and was clean shaven. His eyes were also darker, and while still calculating, could, at times, seem warm.

He was far quieter than Jefferson, but the two might as well have been peas in a pod. And when he did speak, his words usually held a great deal of power or inspired critical thinking.

“As I clearly lay out in the reports, it will cost the people of New York City 2 dollars and 18 cents a year. The price of a cup of coffee.” Alex explained.

“I just don’t see if this is really worth breaking my campaign promise over. All your evidence is, hypothetical at best. What difference does the number of social workers really mean?” Jefferson asked, staring at Alex.

“Just two weeks ago you were willing to raise the tax rate to 9% for additional infrastructure spending! You’d raise the tax rate by 0.125% to build an extra building or two but not 0.01% to help hundreds of children? Have you no sense of regard for the life of a fellow human?” Alex raised his voice, getting angry.

“Hamilton, tone it down.” Washington warned.

“Hamilton. Tell us what difference a social worker can really make anyway.” Jefferson repeated himself.

Alex took a deep breath. “The difference a social worker can make is life changing, councilmen. A social worker can save a child from being placed with an unfit guardian after their single mother dies of illness. It can save a 7 year old child from having to wake up before dawn to meet the mailman so they can take their drug addicted parents welfare checks and pay the bills before their parents can blow it on their next fix.” Alex looked around the room at the various councilors.

Then Alex looked right at Jefferson and Madison. “And another thing I just want to add is that I don’t expect people like you, who were born with a silver spoon in your mouth to understand,” He looked back at the other councilors again. “But I hope this message can resonate with the other 49 council members here today and sway their votes.” Alex spoke calmly, even as he insulted Madison and Jefferson.

Jefferson looked visibly angry and Washington noticed this. “Hamilton, is there anything more you would like to add as part of your pitch?” George asked.

“I think I’ve gone over it all by now.” Alex told Washington.

“Then we will take a break and reconvene in 30 minutes, when council members may ask Mr Hamilton any last-minute questions they have and then we will vote on Hamilton’s plan.” George announced.

“But sir-” Jefferson started.

“We will reconvene after a brief recess.” George repeated in a stern tone. “I suggest you and Mr Madison take a walk.” He told them and got up.

The council members filed out of the room, Alex was heading back to his office so he could refill his to-go mug with more coffee when Jefferson and Madison approached him.

“Washington said you can ask more questions after the recess.” Alex told them simply.

“You don’t have the votes, Hamilton. The Bronx and Queens only account for 22 votes, and in case you weren’t aware, you need 26.”

“Don’t be so quick to assume I only have 22 votes, gentlemen. The majority of the members of city council are democrats, you two are some of the very few Republicans. There are lots of poor areas in Manhattan and Brooklyn too that could benefit from this plan. Just because you’ve never understood what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck doesn’t mean the same applies for all of city council.” Alex did his best to remain calm.

“Those were such touching examples you used; as to why social workers are so important I mean. So are you the poor wittle orphan who no one loves or the child that broke the law once a month from the time they were 7?” Jefferson asked.

Alex opened his mouth to respond, angered by the question and ready to lose it on Jefferson, but then a voice behind him spoke.

“Hamilton!” Washington called.

“Better go Hamilton, daddy’s calling you.” Jefferson smirked.

Hamilton couldn’t help himself and flipped Jefferson off, then walked over to Washington.

“Don’t let them get under your skin, Alexander, they’re trying to upset you.” George told him wisely.

“What if I don’t get the votes? I mean, I think the only areas I can really count on for votes here are the Bronx and Queens and they only account for 22 votes.” 

“You have a well structured, and thought out plan, all the evidence is in your favor.” Washington reminded him. “I’m sure you’ll get the votes.”

“But at least 15 council members promised they wouldn’t raise taxes in their campaigns, hell some of them are from Queens!” Alex was, admittedly, beginning to panic now. He wanted so badly for this to get passed. Maria and Eliza seemed so excited and he had worked so hard over the past few days to make it work. Not to mention he had to call in a favor with a friend at the New York Times, which he had been holding onto for a very long time until he absolutely needed to cash it in.

“Alexander, you’re letting Jefferson get to you. Go, take some time, and pull yourself together.” George told him.

Alex nodded a bit, he went to his office and face-timed John while his Keurig worked to refill his coffee mug.

“Hey Alex!” John smiled as he answered the call. “I’m with Philip right now, Philip come say hi.” John spoke to the child.

The small boy came over and his face appeared on camera. “Hi Uncle Alex!” He exclaimed, smiling brightly.

“Hi Philip!” Alex smiled. “How’s it going?”

“I’m drawing uncle John pictures! I even drew you!” Philip told him excitedly.

“Really?” Alex asked, surprised to hear this.

Philip nodded. He disappeared from view then came back, holding up a drawing to the camera.

There was two women, who resembled Eliza and Maria, a man with curly hair and a brown jacket, like John’s leather one, and standing next to John was a guy with dark hair in a ponytail, Alex’s circle beard, and one normal leg and a simple black line for the other.

“Wow! That’s really cool!” Alex smiled.

“It’s not done, but it will be soon!” Philip announced and then disappeared off camera.

“He’s been working very hard on that drawing.” John explained. “I’ve been waiting for your article.” John told Alex.

“I presented the plan just now, they’re gonna vote when we reconvene in like, 15 minutes or so now.”

John nodded a bit.

“So why is Philip with you? Did his moms need some alone time?” Alex asked, suggesting something not so child friendly was happening at the Schuylers’ house.

“No, Maria was supposed to be off today, but someone else at their office called in sick so she was called in, she couldn’t really even say no. Eliza is at work until 4 and I’m not working until 5 tonight so I’m watching him.”

“I see. Well, hopefully after today that won’t have to happen anymore.” Alex said.

“Yeah, I hope so too.” John nodded. “It’s not that I don’t love Philip, it’s just, he was excited to spend the day with his mom. He was kinda upset about it when he first got here.” John added.

Alex nodded a bit. He couldn’t stop thinking about it as he grabbed his coffee from the Keurig and left his office 10 minutes later, not wanting to be late for when everyone reconvened.

Soon the city council meeting was back in session.

“Sir, might I just add something, before the council members vote? I know I said I finished my pitch, but, I found something that I feel very important to add while we were on recess.” Alex asked Washington.

“I see. Go ahead.” George allowed it.

Alex took a deep breath. “To those who are considering voting against this plan, I beg you to hear what I’m about to say. During our recess I called my friend John. John was babysitting our friends’ son. Our friends work as a nurse in an emergency room, and a social worker. Today the social worker was supposed to be spending the day with their 5 year old son, while the nurse worked.” He explained, looking around the room, specifically at Jefferson and Madison.

“But someone else at her office called in sick, and she got called in with no opportunity to refuse. They got lucky that John was off today, or they would not have had child care for their son. This is the type of thing that our city’s social workers deal with constantly, and this funding could help fix that problem. I urge you to consider voting for change. Vote to change the lives of not only the families social workers help, but the families of the social workers as well.”

“Thank you, Mr Hamilton. If no one has any further questions, we will now vote on whether to pass or deny this tax increase and social-service funding.”

Alex looked around the room at the council members as he left the room. He was allowed to be there, didn’t want to watch the voting or be in the room when it happened. He hoped that people like Jefferson and Madison would focus more on the plan than the person who came up with it if he wasn’t in the room.

Soon Alex heard Washington’s voice say the words Alex was most anxious to hear. “Alright, the votes are in.”


	19. I'll Tell You A Story Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Alcohol, brief implied domestic abuse, implied depression?

Alex quietly, but quickly reentered the room.

George continued to speak. “Voting almost unanimously, city council will be passing this legislation, after a vote of 49-2 in favor of Hamilton’s plan.” He smiled a bit at Alex. “The next issue on the table….” The sound of George’s voice quieted for Alexander as he pulled out his phone. Alex was too happy to even care about the fact that Jefferson and Madison had voted against his plan.

To: John Holt [Run the article.] Alex hit send.

Soon Alex received a message.

From: John Holt [Done.]

Alex smiled. His next message was to Maria.

[Hey, I know you’re probably busy at work, but city council just approved the plan!]

Alex didn’t have to be there to see it, he knew that once Maria read the message she would smile brightly and call Eliza, excited beyond belief over the news. Eliza would smile into the phone, and they would both think of their son as they cheered together over the phone.

Alex was basically floating on the high of his plan being passed all afternoon and as he walked to his office at the end of the meeting. Then he was stopped by James Madison.

“Hamilton.” Madison said to get Alex’s attention from behind him.

Alex turned around and looked at Madison. “Yes?”

“I just, I wanted you to know, I reviewed those reports you supplied, over the recess. I understand the importance of this funding.” Madison explained.

Alex was quiet for a moment, wrapping his head around the information he had just received. “You voted to approve it.” He said quietly. “But I thought you and Jefferson were the ones who voted against it,” Alex trailed off.

“Me and Jefferson don’t always agree on everything. I won’t get into all the details but my wife Dolly and her- our son might not have been around long enough to meet me, if not for the work of social workers helping them get away from her ex-husband. I was hesitant at first because I promised I would vote against tax raises, but I realized, I represent one of the richest areas of New York City, and if the people living there can’t afford one extra cup of coffee a year, I’ve got far bigger issues to deal with.” He explained, his body language made it clear that he was nervous or perhaps stressed, but his words were sincere.

“But then who else voted no?” Alex seemed confused.

“I don’t know for sure but me and Thomas aren’t the only Republican council members.” Madison reminded Alex.

Alex nodded a bit, he was able to guess who the other no vote was. “Well, thank you, James.” Alex gave a small smile.

Madison simply nodded and walked off.

Alex smiled more to himself as he walked back to his office to pack up and head home for the day, because it was 4pm already. Alex was leaving the building and walking to his car when he got a phone call, which he quickly answered.

“Hello?” Alex spoke into the phone as he opened the door of his car and got in, placing his briefcase on the passenger seat.

“Where the hell did you get the pseudonym ‘Publius’ from?” Hercules asked.

“I see you found my article.” Alex chuckled. “It’s a long story but I’ve been using it to anonymously write newspaper articles since I was like, 19.”

“I see. This is a really good plan Alex. What was the final vote from city council?”

“49-2.” Alex grinned into the phone.

“That’s impressive.” Hercules told him. “Washington definitely made a good decision choosing you for this job.”

“Thanks.” Alex smiled to himself.

“Well, I gotta get back to my work, but, I’m proud of you Hamilton. This is gonna change a lot of people’s lives for the better.”

“Thanks Hercules. Good luck with your work.”

The call ended and Alex drove home. He was home for maybe an hour when Lafayette called him. “Hey Laf.” Alex said as he answered the phone. He had changed out of his work clothes and was checking up on Facebook for the first time that day when Lafayette called.

“Hello Alexander. I heard about your success with your plan, congratulations!”

“Thanks Laf.”

“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over and celebrate your success?”

“I’d uh, I’d like that a lot.” Alex smiled into the phone. “Yeah sure, when should I come over?” He was thinking it was gonna be him and Laf and a bottle of wine or maybe champagne.

“Maybe like, a half hour? 45 minutes?” Lafayette told him.

“Sure thing. I’ll see you soon.”

About half an hour later Alex knocked at Lafayette’s apartment- or rather, penthouse- door. He had worn a simple black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, not wanting anything too fancy, but also not wanting to look too casual in case Laf did have something bigger planned.

The door was pulled open by Lafayette, who was wearing black skinny jeans and a light blue-button up dress shirt, which instantly told Alex they weren’t doing something lowkey. However at first, everything appeared normal as Alex walked into Lafayette’s home. 

Then suddenly Hercules, Liz, Mary, William, Eliza, Maria, Philip, John, and Angelica all jumped out from various hiding places. “SURPRISE!” They shouted.

Alex jumped a bit, not expecting that at all, then he smiled.

“We wanted to throw a party in your honor, for passing this legislation.” Lafayette came up behind Alex and put an arm around his shoulder, smiling down at him..

“I know the changes won’t take effect immediately, but they’re coming, and it’s gonna make such a big difference.” Maria smiled at Alex.

“I’m so freakin’ proud of you.” John told him as he came over to him. Lafayette pulled his arm away so that John could hug Alex tightly.

“I thought you had work at 5, it’s 6 already.” Alex said as he hugged John back.

“I pushed my shift back a couple hours. I can’t stay long, I start work at 7. I just wanted to make an appearance, and ask you something.” John explained as he pulled away from the hug, but took Alex’s hands in his own.

“What did you want to ask me?” Alex asked curiously, looking at John, smiling a bit at them holding hands.

“Well we haven’t put an official title on anything yet; so would you, want to change that?” John asked with a smile, looking Alex in the eyes despite being nervous to ask the question.

“Are you asking me, to be your boyfriend?” Alex seemed shocked, even though he’d been thinking about asking John the same thing for a while.

John nodded. “Yeah I am.”

“I didn’t think this day could get any better.” Alex admitted. “Of course I want to be your boyfriend.” He smiled brightly. “But only if you’ll give me a kiss.” He added.

“I think that can be arranged.” John chuckled a bit. He then pulled Alex close, wrapping one arm around Alex’s waist and resting the opposite hand on the back of Alex’s neck, happily kissing him.

Alex kissed him back, wrapping his arms around John’s shoulders.

Everyone talked for about twenty minutes then John had to leave for work. “Can I call you later?” John asked Alex.

“Yes, I’d like that very much.” Alex smiled and stole a quick peck of John’s lips.

“Good. Talk to you later.” John promised. “See y’all soon!” John told the group and left.

Soon the children were happily playing with bubbles and chalk on Lafayette’s terrace, while the adults watched from the large living room windows, as they chatted and celebrated. Hercules was sitting next to Liz, on the couch, a hand resting on her thigh in a sort of I-just-want-physical-contact type gesture. Eliza and Maria were cuddled up next to each other also on the couch. Angelica was in an armchair next to Alex who was in the other armchair in the set of two and Lafayette was happily perched on the armrest of his couch.

“So I actually also have some exciting news.” Hercules told the group. “Nothing as exciting as what Alex has accomplished but,”

“I’m sure whatever it is is just as important.” Alex smiled.

“Well, I’ve been renting the space for my tailoring business since I opened it. However the owner recently came into some money himself and no longer wants anything to do with the building. He’s not interested in being a landlord anymore, nor did he want to spend forever trying to sell the space. Now I’ve been saving to try and get a downpayment for my own building but it's not cheap in the areas I would like to be in.” Hercules explained.

“Makes sense. I mean, if you want rich clientele you gotta be in rich areas.” Alex nodded a bit.

“Exactly. So anyway, the owner of the building agreed to sign it over to me for practically nothing, a measly $10,000 I had saved up. No more rent payments, and no mortgage payments. It’ll save me nearly 3000 a month. Today I signed the paper; the space is now officially mine.” Hercules smiled.

“Hercules, that's amazing news.” Eliza smiled.

“You really lucked out. He coulda booted you to the curb and sold that place for a lot more.” Angelica told Hercules.

“Right?” Hercules asked. “But seriously, I couldn’t have done it without Liz.” He smiled and kissed his wife’s cheek.

Liz smiled at him. “It was all him.” She told the group. “He charmed the owner into selling it for what he had saved. I was just moral support.” Liz added.

“Congrats, that is wonderful news.” Lafayette grinned at him.

“Good news all around today it seems.” Maria commented.

“You can say that again.” Angelica chuckled. “Alex got his plan passed, Maria’s field of work can now expect a huge boost, Hercules now owns his building, and Alex and John finally made things official.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I know we literally just put a title on this, but, I think I wanna marry him some day.” He admitted, smiling at just the thought of John, his boyfriend, which was an amazing thing to think of on it’s own.

Eliza and Maria exchanged a look.

“What?” Alex asked, seeming confused.

“Oh, nothing.” Eliza told him quickly, but it was obvious there was something. Alex would put his money on another sort of bet among the group.

The group continued to celebrate all the good news. The Mulligans were the first to leave, followed soon by the Schuylers minus Angelica.

“Now that there are no children around, what do you say we crack open a bottle of something to celebrate?” Lafayette suggested as he got up and wandered over to the kitchen.

“Ooh, I don’t know about Alex but I would love to.” Angelica said as she moved to stretch out on Lafayette’s couch now that there was almost no one else there and there was the space to do so. She scooped her hair and pulled it away from her neck and shoulders. “I should’ve worn it up today.” She muttered to herself.

Alex pulled a spare hair-tie off his wrist and handed it to her. “I don’t drink often but I think such an occasion as this can warrant a drink or two.” Alex smiled at Laf.

“Thanks Alex.” Angelica smiled a bit as she took the hair-tie and put her hair up in a messy bun.

“I’m thinking red?” Lafayette held up a bottle that he pulled from his wine cooler.

“I’m good with anything.” Alex told him.

“Red works just fine.” Angelica nodded in agreement.

Lafayette poured three glasses of the wine, and brought Alex and Angelica their glasses before going and grabbing his own, then rejoining them in the living room. Alex was now sitting on the couch, so Laf took one of the armchairs, sitting in it cross legged. “To Alexander.” He held up his glass.

“To Alexander.” Angelica echoed.

“To me.” Alex chuckled a bit.

They all gently clinked glasses and took a sip.

“So do you really think you’d do it?” Angelica asked Alex.

“Do what? Get this plan passed? Because honestly there were some times when I was sure it wasn’t gonna get passed to be honest. I kinda felt like I was skiing down a mountain blind-folded.” He chuckled nervously.

“Not the plan, marrying John.” Angelica told him.

“Oh,” Alex said, he looked down at his glass, then up at his friends. “Since he came back into my life I’m the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. I never want to lose him again.” He admitted. “But I don’t think we’re anywhere near that point yet.”

“John feels the same.” Angelica told him, talking with her hands in a similar fashion to how Alex would.

“Really? I mean he’s mentioned that I make him happy but…” Alex trailed off.

“Alex just listen, Mathew was big for John, made his world go ‘round. When Mathew died and John’s world stopped turning. Like an only-one-of-a-kind light bulb with it’s own special lamp burnt out. Then you came along and you made his world turn again. You weren’t a replacement light bulb, but you fit in the socket, and turned the lights back on.” Angelica explained.

“Your incident was like someone stole that new lightbulb, just to punish John. His world was dimmed, it still turned, but not the same, much slower than before.” Lafayette continued for Angelica.

“Since you’ve re-entered his life I’ve literally watched the lights turn back on, Alexander. For the first time in 15 years, the lights are back on.” Angelica finished.

“You guys really believe that?” Alex asked them.

Lafayette nodded. “I have seen it, Alexander.”

Alex nodded a little. “I dunno, I mean, we  _ just _ put a title on things.”

“Yeah but your relationship isn’t like most others. Plus dating is different in your late 30s.” Angelica told him.

“We haven’t even like, slept over yet.” Alex told her.

“Wait do you mean, slept over, or like  _ slept over _ ?” Angelica asked.

“Either.” Alex admitted.

“You seriously have not slept with him yet?” Lafayette seemed surprised to hear this.

“No?” Alex didn’t think it was such a big deal.

“You’re seriously saying that we’ve slept together,” Angie pointed at herself, then Alex and paused as Lafayette began to speak.

“And me and John have slept together,” Lafayette added. “But you and John haven’t yet?”

“Wait, you and John have slept together?” Alex asked Lafayette.

Lafayette chuckled a bit. “There is much to discuss, mon ami. It is a good thing I keep my wine cooler fully stocked at all times.” He chuckled. “Get yourself settled, Alexander, it is a long story.” Lafayette told Alexander before starting to tell the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Facts:   
> #1 Alexander did actually often write news paper articles and publish them under the pseudonym 'Publius', especially after he moved into politics/moved up as a lawyer  
> #2 Alex actually had a contact at a newspaper named John Holt that he sent articles to so they could get published
> 
> Also I just wanna say that I know Alexander Hamilton was the founder of what's know known as The New York Post, and I did consider thinking about having him sell the rights to his story to The Post but then I did some research and decided against it. It might be highly popular but it's considered one of the LEAST credible news papers in New York, and it is now aligned with right-wing conservatism and Republican ideals (which is really fucking annoying/disappointing because Alexander Hamilton literally started the paper to talk shit about Democratic Republicans (aka the right-wing of the time) so like, it's literally become the thing it was created to talk shit about. A. Ham would be PISSED) Also it's Tr*mp's favorite newspaper so you know it's bad.


	20. Don't Say No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings however; there is some slight NSFW in this chapter. There's nothing too explicit, however there is making out, condoms and lube are mentioned and there are a lot of things that are implied to be happening here, so, watch out for that. But don't worry, I'm not a fan of writing porn into chapters (I'd prefer to do it as it's whole own chapter so that it's easily avoidable for those uninterested in it without missing too much plot), this is probably the riskiest the story will get unless I do a companion piece at some point with smut.

Alex ended up staying at Lafayette’s that night, because after multiple glasses of wine and sending Angelica home in a taxi, neither him or Lafayette were in any shape to drive, and Alex said he was too tired to walk himself home.

Alex learned that not long after Lafayette’s divorce and his move back to America following it; him and John had hooked up a couple times. There were no feelings between them, it had just been casual. Learning this didn’t change Alex’s feelings towards John or Lafayette, but he had to admit that he was maybe just a tiny bit jealous of Laf for it.

The next morning Alex woke with a groan. He looked around, trying to gather his bearings, then realized what time it was. “Shit.” He cursed out loud, technically he wasn’t late for work yet, but there was no way he could get ready and get there in time.

He pulled his leg, pants, and shoes back on before wandering out of the spare bedroom and down the stairs to Lafayette’s kitchen, where Lafayette was sitting at his kitchen table. 

Lafayette was in a simple t-shirt and black joggers, with his glasses on, drinking coffee and reading something on his phone. “Good morning Alexander.” He looked over as Alex entered the kitchen.

“What the hell Laf? I’m gonna be late for work!” Alex exclaimed as he tried to fix his hair, using his fingers as a comb.

“It is hard to be late for work when you are off.” Lafayette told Alex simply as he set his phone down on the table.

“What do you mean, ‘off’? Laf- I work every weekday, and in case you weren’t aware; it’s Tuesday.”

“I called George, told him you are not feeling well and that you are taking the day off. He was unsure at first but I made him believe me easily.”

“Lafayette do you realize what this could look like to my colleagues? I get one proposal passed and party so hard I can’t come into work the next day? I have a reputation to uphold! Especially considering that I wasn’t chosen by the people.” Alex was panicking.

“Mon ami you worry too much. Besides, I did not tell George you were hung over. I said that you and I went for a jog this morning and you hurt your leg. He does not know you are hung over.” Lafayette explained.

“Okay well just because Washington knows that doesn’t mean my coworkers won’t be suspicious.” Alex pointed out.

“How often do you honestly see your co-workers each day?” Lafayette got up and poured Alex a cup of coffee.

“I dunno, I’m usually in my office most of the day. But people are constantly submitting reports and if I don’t respond saying that I’ve seen them and will take them under consideration people will know something is up.”

“Set up an automatic response for the day explaining things.” Lafayette handed him the cup of coffee.

Alex looked confused as he took the mug and sipped the coffee.

“People submit reports via email, oui?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay then, open your work email on your phone and give it to me.” Lafayette instructed.

Alex eyed him suspiciously, then opened his phone and handed it over to Lafayette.

The Frenchman took Alex’s phone and clicked on a couple things. “Dear colleague, thank you for your email. Unfortunately I injured myself this morning and will not be in the office today. I will review your report, or respond to your email at my soonest convenience. Thank you for understanding. Sincerely Alexander Hamilton.” Lafayette read out loud as he typed. “Good?” He asked Alex.

Alex sipped his coffee as Lafayette typed. He nodded when Lafayette finished. “Yeah.”

Lafayette made a couple more clicks, then handed the phone back. “It will automatically reply to any email you get today. I want to spend the day with you, mon ami. I have to go back to DC soon.”

“When do you go back?” Alex frowned.

Lafayette sighed. “End of the week. I thought I could manage another week but I received word this morning that they need me back sooner.” He explained.

“I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled. “How long will you be gone?”

“I will try to come back on weekends and such but, probably a while. There is only so much work I can perform while away from DC and France.”

Alex nodded. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Do not be sad. It is not forever mon ami. I will only be a phone call or a text message away.”

“I know, it’s just, not the same.”

“I know.” Lafayette sighed. “Why don’t we go out for breakfast?” He suggested. “I do not feel like cooking.”

“As long as it’s nowhere close to work where my co-workers could see me, yeah.” Alex agreed.

Soon they were at a nice restaurant, waiting for their food to come. Alex was wearing his jeans from the night before and had borrowed a light blue dress shirt from Laf, luckily he had worn a belt the day before, so he looked acceptable. Lafayette was dressed similarly to Alex, in a white shirt and black pants.

“So the final vote for your plan was 49-2? Do you have any idea who the ‘no’ voters were?” Lafayette asked and sipped the smoothie he had ordered to drink.

“I know for sure who one of them was, and I have a good idea about the other.” Alex traced shapes into the side of his coffee mug. He was a little stressed about missing work, but mostly he was just trying to do something with his hands.

“Who was it?” Lafayette asked curiously.

“Thomas Jefferson definitely voted against it. He’s voted against nearly everything I’ve proposed so far. I wasn’t surprised. What did surprise me was that James Madison voted yes.”

“Why is it so surprising that Madison voted yes?” Lafayette asked.

“Well, votes are technically anonymous, however usually you can tell how people are going to vote based on the questions they ask. Jefferson and Madison are two peas in a pod, they almost always vote together.” Alex explained and sipped his coffee.

Lafayette nodded a bit. “Thomas Jefferson actually served as the US ambassador to France for a while, when I was living there and married to Adrienne. I met him and we talked multiple times, we didn’t exactly see eye to eye, but we got along well enough.”

“That’s because you know how to make people like you, Laf. I couldn’t do that to save my life.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“So who do you suspect to be the other nay-sayer?” Lafayette spun his straw around in his smoothie.

“The only other Republican on city council, John Adams. Apparently the guy used to be a democrat, but he switched sides, no idea why though.” Alex told Laf.

“So any idea why Madison did not vote with Thomas?”

“I don’t know all the details but I guess social workers helped his wife and son, I don’t know how exactly, something about her ex-husband. Madison is kinda like; Thomas Jefferson Lite, if that makes sense.” Alex explained.

Lafayette nodded. “Thomas’s personality is almost as big as his hair.” He laughed.

“Oh like you’re one to talk.” Alex teased.

“My hair might be big, mon ami, but mine is far better than Thomas Jefferson’s.”

Alex chuckled a bit.

The two spent the entire day together, when Lafayette dropped Alex off at home he hugged him tightly. “In case I do not see you again in person for a while, mon ami.” He said as he hugged him.

“We’ll talk often, mon ami, I promise.” Alex told Lafayette as he hugged back.

Alex ended his night with a call to John, who had ended up in surgery all evening and into the night yesterday and couldn’t have called Alex if he wanted to. It was mostly flirting and telling each other sweet things, however they did also talk a little bit more about how they felt towards physical contact and consent and such. They were both huge fans of physical affection so it made things a lot easier. They agreed that hugs, hand holding, and kissing, as well as any other small gestures of physical affection, didn’t need to be asked about. The only time it was off the table was if one of them was in a bad mood, and they promised to tell each other if and when that was the case. 

The rest of the week passed by and soon it was Friday evening, Alex and John were talking on the phone. Alex had stayed late at the office because he didn’t want to have to do anything over the weekend. As a result he’d only got home about an hour ago, after stopping to pick up food because he didn’t want to cook.

John had gotten off work at 11am that day and had slept most of the day, and when he woke up he realized Alex would surely be off by then, and called him. The two were chatting while Alex did a bit of spot cleaning that had accumulated over the week. John was also cleaning up, as he too had neglected house work over the past few days.

“So I realized something earlier this week,” Alex introduced a new topic to their conversation.

“What’s that?” John asked.

“Well, I realized that uh, we’ve never like, spent the night together.” Alex explained awkwardly.

“Uh-huh,” John mumbled. “Are you thinking in like a falling asleep next to each other kinda way or in a dirtier kinda way?” He asked curiously.

“Well, I mean, both I guess.” Alex bit his lip even if John couldn’t see it.

“Do you want to?” John asked after a moment of silence.

“I mean, I think I would, yeah, but only if you’re ready for that of course.” Alex told him.

“I won’t lie, I’ve been waiting for a long time to get into your pants, Alexander.” John admitted.

“Apparently so long that you jumped into Lafayette’s pants instead just to get some action.” Alex mused.

“It was like, 5 years ago and I had no idea that you were gonna come back into my life.” John defended himself.

“I’m not mad.” Alex promised. “So you’ve been waiting for that huh?” He wasn’t surprised by this at all, there had been enough jokes and compliments over the past few weeks.

“Yeah.” John’s voice was a bit quieter, but his answer was confident.

“Do you have work tomorrow?” Alex asked.

“Not until much later in the day.” John explained.

“What would you think of me coming over?”

“Like, right now?”

“If I leave in the next 15 minutes I should be able to make the 8:30 ferry.” Alex told him.

John was quiet for a moment. “I’ll see you at the ferry terminal at 9 o’clock.” He was probably smirking to himself.

“I’ll see you soon John.” Alex said and hung up the phone.

Alex quickly threw a couple of essentials into a bag. He had changed into a t-shirt and sweats after work but that wouldn’t do. He put on the same light blue shirt he’d worn to work and tucked it into jeans and then left his apartment. He made the 8:30 ferry with a little time to spare. He was nervous and excited all at once. He tried to scroll through twitter during the ferry ride, but his mind just kept wandering back to John and what he and John had planned for the evening.

Alex walked over to the pick up area for the ferry, and easily found John because there already weren’t many cars, but more noticeably there was a Maserati waiting near the doors. Alex walked over and knocked on the car window.

John looked over at him and unlocked the doors. 

Alex opened the door and got into the car.

John was in a t-shirt and jeans, like usual. His hair was down, and looked a bit damp, as though he had hopped in the shower the moment their phone call ended. He smiled. “Hey.” He leaned over and kissed Alex.

Alex happily kissed him back. “So did you grab the wrong keys again or are you just trying to impress me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” John began driving.

“Well if you’re trying to impress me, mission accomplished.” Alex chuckled.

John glanced over at him and smirked a bit.

Alex was quiet for a moment. “I- Do you like, have  _ stuff _ ? It totally slipped my mind.” Alex asked awkwardly.

“By ‘stuff’; do you mean condoms and lube? Because yes, but if you’re implying something dirtier-” John was talking, but Alex cut him off.

“That was what I meant.” He seemed a bit embarrassed. He didn’t know why he felt like a teenager about to lose their virginity right now, he was 37 years old and was far from a virgin. Despite that, he found himself blushing hard at the idea of ‘stuff’ meaning something more than condoms and lube.

John chuckled a bit. “Nervous babe?” He teased.

“Focus on driving John.” Alex told him. It wasn’t in a mean way, nor was there a specific reason John needed to focus on the road, Alex just wanted to change the subject.

Soon they got back to John’s house. Alex took his shoes off, but didn’t bother to put on the crocs. John made sure the garage door shut before joining Alex at the door into the house. He grinned at him.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asked, upon seeing the grin.

“Doing this.” John stated and picked Alex up like it was nothing, kissing him as he backed Alex against the wall for stability.

Alex instinctively wrapped his legs around John and kissed back. He had guessed that John was gonna take charge with this, but he hadn’t expected John to take it to this level, not that Alex minded.

John unlocked the door into the house and tossed the keys up on their hook while barely breaking the kiss with Alex.

He walked over to the couch in the basement living room and set Alex down on it, staring at Alex for a moment.

“Waiting for something?” Alex raised his eyebrows.

“Just, soaking in the view for a second.” John told him before climbing on top of him and continuing to kiss him.

Alex wrapped his arms around John and happily kissed back.

After a little good old fashion making out Alex tugged on John’s shirt. “You- should- take- this- off.” He said each word between shorter kisses.

Without another word John pulled his shirt off. He clearly still worked out a lot because his chest muscles, like his arms, were nicely worked, forming a six pack, just like they had 15 years before. His chest, back, and shoulders were covered in freckles, making Alex wonder just how much of John’s body was covered in freckles.

“Damn Laurens.” Alex mumbled and went to kiss him when suddenly there was a loud, desperate knock on the door.

“Ugh,” John groaned. “Stay  _ right _ there. I’ll be right back.” He told Alex. John kissed him once more before getting up and going to answer the door, not bothering to put his shirt back on. 

John pulled the door open to find Hercules standing there, looking distraught. 

“It’s gone, it’s all gone.” Hercules whispered.


	21. I Don't Have The Means To Go On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Racism, Arson, Discussion of fire, discussion of money-problems and debt, talk of corrupt politicians?

“What’s gone?” A look of concern spread across John’s face as he crossed his arms.

“The shop.” Herc’s voice broke. “I- It’s gone. All of it.” Hercules mumbled, he seemed to be in shock.

“Hold up what do you mean gone?” John frowned. “Come inside.” He said and ushered him in. “Alex we have company.” John called out. “And can you bring my shirt please?”

Hercules came inside and didn’t say a word as he did so. He kicked his shoes off and went and sat on the couch in the main floor living room, seeming to be on autopilot as he did it.

Alex came up the stairs a moment later. He handed John his shirt. “Hey Hercules, what’s going on?” He quickly picked up on Hercules’ distress.

“There was a fire. It’s all gone. Everything is gone. The building, the machines, the material, everything.” Hercules explained quietly.

“Wait, your shop burnt down?” Alex was shocked to hear it. He awkwardly stood in the living room, not knowing what to say to Hercules.

Hercules put his head in his hands and began crying.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay.” John told him reassuringly, he sat down next to him and rubbed his back to try and comfort him.

“No it’s not.” Hercules whispered.

“I’m gonna put on a kettle and make some tea.” Alex went over to the kitchen.

John continued to rub his back, hoping it would help soothe him. “Try and take some deep breaths okay?”

Hercules tried, but he was still quite upset.

By the time Alex brought over mugs of tea Hercules was finally beginning to regain some composure.

“Why don’t you start by walking us through what happened?” Alex handed Hercules his tea.

Hercules took the mug and looked down at it. “For the last year, I’ve been having some trouble at the shop. Someone didn’t like that a black man could have a successful, thriving business in an area like Manhattan. There were countless eggings and a couple acts of vandalism, mostly just spray paint over the sign. The front window got smashed up once but they couldn’t actually get inside. I reported every incident to the police and convinced the landlord to install security cameras, but the police didn’t seem to care much.” Hercules explained.

“I wonder why the police didn’t care.” Alex mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

“Take your time.” John spoke in the best comforting tone he could muster despite being angry over what he was hearing.

“It was never a huge deal, nothing a pressure washer or a fresh coat of paint couldn’t fix, minus the window. But after the window it stopped. I thought they either stopped caring or I dunno got caught doing it to some other business and got arrested. Then earlier this week, after word got out that I own the space, I was leaving the shop when some kid-practically, went zooming by on a bike, almost hit me and yelled that I should watch my back and called me the n-word.”

John’s fist clenched as his anger grew.

“I didn’t think anything of it. It was just some angry white kid. Then I get a call this evening, just an hour after leaving the shop for the night, that there had been an incident. I arrived to find the shop up in flames and the bike kid in the back of a cop car. The air in the shop gets dry, with all the cloth fibers in the air. Include all the flammable cloth and everything in the mix and by the time they got the fire under control there was practically nothing to save.” Hercules explained. “I’m ruined.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” John continued to rub his back.

“I’m sure your insurance will cover this. I mean, someone lit your shop on fire in a racially-charged attack. If your insurance doesn’t cover that then I don’t know what to tell you other than to pick some better insurance next time.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“That’s part of the problem.” Hercules admitted, looking down at his tea. He was sitting, resting his arms on his knees.

“What do you mean?” Alex asked, frowning a bit. He was sitting on the couch opposite to the one Hercules and John were on.

“Well I had insurance on all my equipment and such for the business, but not for the building yet. I signed the papers last Friday to take ownership of the building. The same day I filed for insurance on the building, but insurance companies take forever to file stuff. I thought it was gonna take longer to get the deed to the property. Insurance company said that because the building just changed hands and then was suddenly burnt down they said they’ll need to conduct their own investigation. Even then it could be a long time before I see any real money because technically the building was in limbo with insurance between me and the old owner. The old owner could try and claim the insurance money for himself.”

“Do you really think he would do that?” John asked.

“I dunno. It would be just my luck though.”

“Maybe you could get a loan from the bank to rebuild?” Alex suggested hopefully.

“My credit score is nowhere near high enough for that. I fucked around after high school and ended up in a fair amount of debt, which I kinda just let sit when I was serving. I made a couple payments, just enough so that it wouldn’t get sent to collections, but it certainly wasn’t the minimum monthly payment. When I was at home, I was using the pay to support myself and when on tour every cent went to my mother because my dad had just passed.” Hercules explained.

“Damn.” Alex mumbled.

“It was our wedding gift that Liz’s parents gave us money to pay off my outstanding debts, but even once it was paid back my credit score was practically beyond repair. Liz had to co-sign for the bank loan I took out to start the shop.” Hercules sighed.

“I’m sorry man.” Alex said solemnly.

“I paid that loan off quickly and that helped things a little. But now it’s like, allowed to have a credit card with a limit higher than 100 dollars. Not the probably million to rebuild the space, plus all the other start-up costs, new machines, decor, I mean, it’s literally all gone. Plus I don’t know if many customers are gonna stick around while they wait for me to rebuild. Not to mention the customers who are probably gonna demand refunds for projects that got lost in the fire.” Hercules explained further. He took a sip of his tea when he finished.

“You’re excellent at what you do, I’m sure any worthwhile customers would stick around. And you’re under no obligation to give those people a refund.” John reassured him.

“I just don’t know if it’s even worth rebuilding.” Hercules hated to admit it, but it was a serious thought he was having.

“What would you do if you weren’t running the shop?” John asked curiously.

“I dunno, hope there’s some tailor shop in the city that can take on another tailor I guess. Either that or I dunno, see if there’s some job the military can offer a retired captain hoping to come out of retirement.” Hercules shrugged.

“You wouldn’t seriously consider going back into the army, would you?” John asked.

“Not like touring, but, I dunno, maybe they would make me a basic training instructor something?” Hercules sighed a bit.

“Hercules you hated that part of your job, being in charge of everyone and giving orders.” John reminded him.

“Look, all I know is that Liz has been the most supportive and understanding wife I could possibly ask for and she’s supported our family while I chased my career dreams once already.” He set his tea down on the coffee table. “I couldn’t ask her to do it again. Hell she doesn’t even know yet. The kids are with my brother’s family on a camping trip, and she’s on a girl’s weekend with her sister in Maine. I don’t know how I’m possibly gonna tell her.” His head returned to his hands.

“Okay so a loan from the bank is out, what about a loan from a friend?” Alex asked.

Hercules looked at him. “I think my only friend that has that kind of money laying around is Laf, maybe Angelica. But I couldn’t ask either of them for something like that. Plus it would probably take me like, forever to pay it back. There’s no way I could ask that of any of my friends.”

“Well then it’s a good thing you’re not asking. I’m offering.” Alex told him. He set down his tea as well and looked directly at Hercules.

Hercules looked shocked and surprised, as well as confused. Sure Alex had a nice apartment with a doorman and lived in a fairly well-off area, but he drove a Toyota Corolla and lived fairly frugally. He didn’t exactly give off ‘I have millions laying around to loan to friends in need’ type vibes.

“Hercules, I started my career making nearly 3 times what a single guy needs to live in NYC, and my salary has only gone up year after year since then. Plus I just got a salary boost of 60,000 a year with my new job.” Alex explained. “I put all the money I don’t spend each month into high interest savings accounts and have done my fair share of dabbling in the stock market. I don’t do it much anymore, but I was pretty good at buying in and pulling out at the right time in order to maximize profits. Just because I don’t own a big fancy house on Staten Island doesn’t mean I don’t got dough.”

“Alex I couldn’t ask that of you.” Hercules started.

“But you’re not. I’m offering.”

“I don’t know if or when I’d ever be able to pay you back all the money Alexander.”

“Consider it an investment in Mary and William’s futures. Look, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I’m in a position to get you out of it. I bet we could find you a really nice retail space in an even better area than your last one and have you up and running again in no time, with your old clients and new ones too. And if in the future you find yourself in a position to pay me back, great, if not, I’ll probably never miss the money anyway.”

Hercules bit his lip. “Can I sleep on it and talk to you in the morning?”

“Of course. Take all the time you need. When you’re ready I’ll be waiting here with my check-book and a pen.” Alex smiled softly and got up, walking over to Hercules who he hugged tightly.

They continued to talk and soon finished their tea. “I should get going, I felt bad enough before and clearly I interrupted something.” Hercules said.

John looked down at his lap, he had long since put his shirt back on, but it didn’t change the fact that he had been shirtless upon answering the door and Alex had some visible hickeys around his collarbone. “It’s fine.”

“Yeah, no worries.” Alex reassured.

Hercules smiled a bit. “Thanks guys. Have a good night.” He told them and left.

“I think I just want to go to sleep now.” Alex admitted.

“I was scared I was the only one.” John chuckled a bit. “We can do the do another time, there’s no rush.”

Alex nodded a bit. “Yeah. But I better still be sleeping in your bed tonight.”

“I wouldn’t have you anywhere else, but fair warning, I tend to be a cuddler and I’ve been called a human furnace.”

Alex smiled at him. “I think I can live with that.”

The two got ready for bed in what an outsider looking in would probably assume was a long-standing carefully calculated routine. Alex took the bathroom first, which worked perfectly for John because he preferred to change first. As Alex left the bathroom John stole a quick kiss as he went into it.

John soon emerged from the bathroom with a glass of water and walked to his bedside table, grabbing a pill bottle. By the time he swallowed his sleep medication that fought the insomnia, and drank the whole glass of water Alex was changed and just finishing taking his leg off, and the two climbed into John’s bed at the exact same time.

“That was…” John couldn’t find the right words as he turned the lamp on the bedside table off.

“Incredibly well organized and coordinated for our first sleepover?” Alex suggested, looking at John in the dim lighting of the room, only a small amount of light leaking in from the window.

“Yeah.” John nodded. “Almost like it was meant to be.”

“Like it was meant to be.” Alex repeated quietly to himself. He stole a quick kiss from John before resting his head on John’s chest. “I’m still in shock over the news about Hercules’ shop.” He admitted.

“Me too. I mean like, I dunno, it’s just, not the kind of thing I ever thought would happen, ya know?”

Alex nodded. “And the blatant racism combined with the fact that the cops didn’t do shit until the building burnt down…” He sighed.

“The system needs reform. Desperately.”

“You can say that again.” Alex agreed.

“Washington gonna do anything about that?” John asked curiously.

“Right now he’s busy trying to clean up the mess the last mayor caused. That guy was fucking cutting funding for schools and social services to increase his salary and raising taxes to pay for him and city council members to go on lavish vacations, all under the name of letting the free-market thrive and letting the economy ‘do it’s own thing’.” Alex shook his head. “Makes me angry just thinking about it.”

“Me too.” John agreed.

Alex sighed a bit. “Do you think Hercules will accept my help? I would hate to see him have to go back to the army because of this.”

“I would too. I hope he will. I mean, he loves owning his tailoring shop. He gets to run things how he wants and gets to be his own boss. Some people thrive under structure and being managed, while some thrive on managing others. But not Hercules, he likes being free to do as he pleases.” John added.

“My thoughts exactly.” Alex looked up at John.

“I hope he’ll accept your help. Worst case scenario just go over his head and talk to Liz. There are 4 women in his world that he’ll let boss him around and she’s number 2 on that list.” John suggested.

“Who’s the number 1 person?” Alex asked curiously.

“His mom, Hercules would do anything to make her happy. But she doesn’t need to be burdened with this.” John explained.

“Makes sense. Who’s 3 and 4?”

“Liz’s mother because she’s kinda scary to be perfectly honest, like she’s nice but also kinda scares the shit outta me, and then Mary is the other one, however she’s probably above Liz’s mom.”

“Makes sense.” Alex nodded, then yawned.

“Tired?” John teased.

“Yes, we’ve been over this.” Alex deadpanned.

John chuckled a bit.

“Goodnight John.” Alex said sleepily.

“Goodnight Alex.” John whispered and wrapped an arm around him protectively. “Sleep well.”


	22. Providing Those Funds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussion of racial injustice in the legal system
> 
> I also just wanna say that I did a lot of math and research for this chapter to like,,, yeah

Saturday and Sunday both passed without a word from Hercules, and Alex was beginning to worry that Hercules wasn’t going to accept the offer. However on Monday morning, Alex got a call from Hercules.

“Hey Hercules, how’s it going?” Alex asked as he answered the phone and put it on speaker so he could continue to type away in response to one of what felt like countless emails.

“It’s going. I hope I’m not interrupting anything too important.” Hercules told him.

“Definitely not.” Alex chuckled a bit. “Just checking emails, reviewing plans, nothing time sensitive. What’s up?”

“Well, I spoke with Liz about your offer, and if it still stands,” Hercules started.

“It does.” Alex reassured him.

“I think I would like to take you up on it.” Hercules admitted. Alex could tell from the tone of Hercules’ voice that he felt somewhat awkward or bad about it.

“I was hoping you would.” Alex told him. “Why don’t you, Liz, and I meet for dinner and discuss details? I’ll arrange everything.”

“Sounds good. The kids aren’t back from their camping trip yet, they get back Wednesday. If you could do it before then it would be a lot easier.” Hercules explained, almost sounding afraid he was asking too much of Alex.

“Perfect. I’ll set up dinner for tomorrow evening then.” Alex promised Hercules, trying to reassure him.

“Thank you, Alex, I mean it, god I can’t say it enough.” Hercules chuckled nervously.

“Don’t mention it. How are things going on the police side of this though? I mean, you said they caught the arsonist, I assume you’re pressing charges?” Alex asked, easily sliding back into his lawyer state of mind.

“Do you really think it’d be worth it? I mean, legal fees and fighting for god knows how long just to get to an actual courtroom where there might not even be compensation in the end? Me and Liz don’t have that kind of money or time to waste. I’d rather just, move on from this whole mess.” Hercules admitted.

“What if I could guarantee compensation?” Alex asked curiously.

“And how on earth would you do that? The only person who can make that decision is the judge on the case.” Hercules seemed confused.

“True, but I know the system. Inside and out. I know how to make a judge give compensation and I know others who know the same thing.” Alex said simply.

“If you know the system inside and out then you should know it’s prejudiced against guys like me.”

“Hercules don’t say that. You don’t know how things could turn out. You’d be surprised what a good lawyer can do.”

“Alexander, I’m a black guy who grew up in Queens and has a less than perfect past. I highly doubt that any judge or jury would listen to a word I said.” Hercules told Alex pessimistically.

“You’re also a business-owner, an Iraqi-war veteran who served our country for 15 years, a homeowner living in Brooklyn, and a father.” Alex countered. “I bet I know someone I could convince to represent your case pro-bono.”

Hercules was quiet for a moment. “Alex, I just want to be able to put this behind me. I appreciate the help, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to go to court. I just want to rebuild my business and try to make enough money to secure my kids’ futures. The guy will still get in trouble even if I don’t charge him. Liz nor I want to deal with the stress of a legal battle.”

Alex sighed a bit, but accepted and understood why Hercules didn’t want to do it. “I understand. I’ll arrange dinner for tomorrow and text you the details, alright? Start searching for new retail spaces, Herc, you’ll be back up and running real soon. I promise.”

“Thank you, Alexander.”

The next day Hercules, Liz, and Alex met at the restaurant Alex had chosen for dinner. It wasn’t super fancy, but it was nice, probably somewhere Hercules and Liz wouldn’t want to bring Mary and William, at least not until they got older.

“I just, I want to say thank you, so much, for this Alexander. My husband can make a mountain out of a molehill, and well, this was a mountain of a situation already.” Liz told Alex, moving to rest her hand over her husband’s, which was resting on the table.

“Don’t mention it, Hercules is a wonderful friend and I know if roles were reversed he would do the same for me.” Alex smiled. “So have you done any looking for a new space?” Alex turned his attention to Hercules.

Hercules nodded. “Yeah I have.”

“Does any specific place stand out in your mind?” Alex asked.

Hercules nodded and pulled out his phone. “It’s in a good area, has the right amount of space I need, I wouldn’t have to change anything about the layout of the building, and it’s been on the market a while, so we can probably get them to lower the price.” He showed Alex the listing, which he had pulled up on his phone.

Alex looked at it and smiled. “Alright then. Let’s crunch some numbers and get a real estate agent on board. We’re gonna have Mulligan Tailoring back up and running in no time.”

Over the next three weeks Alex and Hercules worked together closely to get Mulligan Tailoring running again. They had bought a new retail space outright, getting a lower price for doing so too. Alex made sure that Hercules got the newest, best versions of all the various pieces of equipment he needed, and a state-of-the-art security and alarm system was installed the moment they had the keys to the building.

Alex and Hercules looked around the tailoring shop. The walls were freshly painted and they had set the furniture and such in the shop up exactly as Hercules wanted.

“Well Alex, you’re about 2 million dollars in the hole now. Was this worth it?” Hercules asked as he sat down next to Alex.

Alex looked over at him. “Look around at your brand new tailoring shop, Hercules.” Alex told him.

Hercules did so, he couldn’t help but smile.

Alex smiled when he saw Hercules smile. “Yes it was. Every penny.”

“Your bank is probably freaking out, seeing you spend so much money all of a sudden.”

“Oh they are, they’re scared I’m moving money away from my accounts to put into either other banks or other investments. They’re offering me higher interest rates on my savings account if I promise to stay with them. I’ll be making the money back in no time.”

“You know I could pay you rent for use of the space, I mean, it was your money that bought it.” Hercules offered.

Alex was quiet for a moment. “Hercules, listen to me, I want you to go to the bank and open a completely new account separate from your personal one and your business one. Every time you get paid, and think about paying me back, I want you to take that money and put it into that account. Don’t touch it unless absolutely necessary and when the time comes; use that money to send your kids to college. Secure their futures, so they don’t have to join the army like I did, or end up in mountains of debt like you did. That will be more than enough pay back for me.” He instructed.

Hercules quickly wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. He reached over and hugged Alex tightly. “Thank you, Alexander.” He whispered.

“Of course.” Alex smiled as he hugged back.

That evening found John at Alex’s apartment, which was becoming a more and more common occurrence. They both had a toothbrush at the other’s house at this point and when John showed up at Alex’s after working 12 hours the doorman knew to give him the key and let him up without asking Alex. They also had finished what was started the night Hercules interrupted, and had done it a couple times since then too. They were winding down for the night after having dinner, basically just wasting time until they were ready to go to sleep.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking; after funding the restarting of Mulligan Tailoring how much do you have left in the bank?” John asked curiously. “I mean, I kinda got curious and I ran the numbers myself. You would have to have like, a 40% interest rate to have even a quarter of what it cost to buy that building outright like you did based on what you’ve said about how much you make.”

“I don’t mind.” Alex chuckled a bit. “That’s simple interest first off, I’ve got a compounded interest saving account set up, basically, I’m earning interest on top of my interest. Also I did mention I was a master with stocks, right?”

“Yeah but pulling in millions of dollars?” John asked curiously.

“I’ve never gotten that much from stocks. Just, let me explain?” Alex asked.

John nodded. “Of course. I’m curious.”

“Okay. My first three years in America, before I joined up, I worked non-stop, day and night. Worked far beyond what I could possibly need to live off, because I hadn’t yet thought to join up and have them pay my tuition. So I was flitting the bill myself at the time and going into massive debt as a result.” Alex started.

“Makes sense.” John nodded.

“That’s when I started investing in stocks. In October 2002- not long after I got to America- Netflix stocks fell to just $4.85 a share, I took a major gamble and bought nearly $1000 worth of stocks, I just had this gut feeling that it was gonna be worth it in the end.”

“Was it? Well I mean, obviously it was but like, how much was it worth?” John asked.

“Hang on a moment.” Alex got up and grabbed his laptop off his desk in the office then came back to the living room. He pulled the laptop open and googled a couple quick things. “Right now they are worth about $340,000.”

“Wait you haven’t even cashed out on them yet?” John’s eyes widened.

Alex shook his head. “Netflix is constantly on the up and up, I pay close attention to the stocks. I’ll know when to cash out when I see it.” He explained.

“I guess that makes sense.” John admitted. 

“I might not have a massive amount of money sitting in my checking account right now, but I own tons of stocks. Some, like my Netflix ones, I have yet to pull because the companies are still thriving. It works like this, John, you put $1000 in, and give it some time. Even if 1000 only becomes 5000, that’s 4000 more than you had before and that’s 4000 more you can invest into other things.”

John nodded a bit. “What else do you have stocks in?”

“Nothing is quite as impressive as the Netflix stocks, but Tesla, Apple, and a couple other things.” Alex shrugged. “The Apple stocks I’ve also had since 2002; when they hit a low of just $14 a share. I again, made a risky move and put in about $500, now they’re worth nearly $66,000.”

“That, that’s crazy impressive. I just throw a couple thousand in a savings account each month and don’t touch it. I don’t even know if there’s interest on it or how much. I mean, like, wow.”

“Yeah so if you ever wondered why I follow the markets so closely, now you know.” Alex chuckled a bit. “And you should pay a lot more attention to that kind of thing John. From the sounds of it someone could steal all your money and you wouldn’t even know.”

John nodded in understanding. “I know, I know.”

“Anyway, so, yeah, I still have about 1 million in my savings right now earning a lot of interest and then the more money I put away each month the more I make. If I keep at the rate I’m going for 10 years, my one million, will turn into over 7.7 million.” Alex explained.

“Okay, okay, enough numbers talk. It’s making my head hurt.” John chuckled.

Alex chuckled too. “Okay, okay. You almost ready to head to bed? It’s getting late and tomorrow is gonna be a long one for me. There’s a lot of budget re-writing and funding reallocations to do after the city council meeting today.” Alex explained.

“Of course babe, let’s get to bed.” John smiled softly.

Every night they spent together was just like their first in John’s house as far as routine and perfect timing with each other. Soon they crawled into Alex’s bed, after John turned the ceiling lights in the room off, seeing as Alex had already taken his leg off for the night.

“Goodnight dear. Sleep well.” Alex mumbled sleepily as he rested his head on John’s chest.

“Goodnight Alex. Sweet dreams.” John spoke softly and wrapped an arm around Alex protectively.

The next morning when John woke up a little bit before 7:30 and Alex wasn’t in bed, the smell of coffee was coming wafting from the kitchen. John got up and dressed, and headed in there.

Alex had his phone in between his ear and his shoulder as he looked at John and pointed at a still steaming cup of coffee. He had a sticky note pad and was jotting something down on it. Alex was dressed and ready for work by now, he just needed to put on his suit jacket and grab his briefcase as well as coffee and go.

“Work already?” John mouthed as he took the cup.

Alex nodded to John. “Yes- no- I understand- Like I said it’ll be done by the end of the day. Yes but-, okay- okay. Alright. Thank you for calling. Goodbye now.” Alex said into the phone and then finally hung up.

“Sounds like you’re having fun.” John teased.

Alex glared at him and shook his head. “You know, sometimes I miss being a lawyer. I got to yell at people and accuse them of crimes. Now I sit in my office all day long and contemplate committing crimes.”

This caused John to laugh and smile at him. “Gonna commit crimes? Against who?”

“Jefferson, definitely Jefferson.” Alex responded quickly.

“Alex, if I get a call saying that you’ve been arrested and need me to come pay your bail; I am not picking you up.” John warned.

“I’ll just call Laf.”

“Laf’s in DC, Alex.” John reminded him.

“Yeah? And? He’d come bail me out.”

“How about you just, don’t commit crimes? At least not today.” John asked and sipped his coffee.

“Fine.” Alex sighed. “It just feels like these peoples’ sole goal in life right now is to drive me to the brink of insanity! It’s not even 7:30 am and I’m getting calls on my personal cell phone number!”

“I know babe.” John said and rubbed his back a bit.

Alex left for work not long after. He went to his office and began working, disrupted what felt like every 5 minutes by various things. If it wasn’t an email, it was a colleague in his office, if it wasn’t someone in his office it was his phone. Alex could almost feel his head spinning with all the chaos and rightfully so.

At his short lunch break, he talked to Hercules on the phone, who’s official reopening was this morning. Alex had wanted to be there, but there was no way he could’ve made it work. Hercules was happy to report that they had picked a good location and he had old clients and new come into the shop.

His phone call with Hercules ended with a call on the landline in his office. And that phone call was the end of his lunch break.

The chaos of the day had Alex so fried that by the time he submitted the newest budget draft at 6pm- two hours after he was allowed to go home- he didn’t even realize he had forgotten to account for 2.5 million dollars worth of funding that was supposed to be reallocated from elsewhere. Instead of removing it from it’s original place and adding it to where it was being moved to, he only removed it, not realizing it wasn’t added back into the budget. And little did he know what such a little, insignificant mistake could soon cost him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rippp-


	23. Children Tell Our Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Minor mention of alcohol, mid-life crisis?

Friday evening of that same week found the group- minus John and Eliza who were gonna join them as soon as their shifts ended and Lafayette who was unable to make it back to NYC for the weekend- at Hercules and Liz’s house, celebrating the reopening of Mulligan Tailoring.

The children were playing hide and seek with each other while the adults mingled outside around the barbecue as Liz grilled up hamburgers and hot dogs.

The Mulligan’s backyard was smaller than John’s, as they lived in a brownstone. They did have a nice deck though, and a large mature tree in the corner with a rope swing.

“Eliza just texted. Her and John are just leaving the hospital now.” Maria announced, looking up from her phone. Her and Alex were sitting on the steps going down from the deck to the yard.

Alex set his drink down between his feet so it wouldn’t get knocked over and pulled out his phone, checking the time. “Just now? I thought they were off a half hour ago?” He frowned a bit.

“John ended up in a surgery and it just ended. They carpooled today so Eliza waited for him.” Maria explained.

Alex nodded. “Makes sense.”

“So, do you know when they’re gonna be raising the sales tax in support of the social-worker funding?” Maria asked him, setting her phone down beside her.

“If everything goes according to plan next week, it’ll be in place to go into effect August 1st.” Alex informed her.

“Cool.” Maria smiled. “Everyone at the office was just, so incredibly happy about it. There’s this one guy in the office, he’s been doing this for like, 45 years. His wife wants to travel, but he never felt like he was allowed to leave with so many kids still in need until now. He’s set to retire at the end of the year.”

“I’m happy to hear it.” Alex took a sip of his drink.

“So how has work been going otherwise?” Maria asked as she watched Philip cover his eyes and begin counting, while Mary and William took off running to hide.

“Insane. Wednesday I was getting calls from co-workers while I was still brewing my coffee before leaving for work, then I ended up staying two hours late to finish things up.” Alex shook his head at the thought.

“Damn, that must’ve been one busy city council meeting Tuesday huh?” Maria chuckled a bit.

“Don’t even get me started. I swear Mars, I mean, I haven’t been at this job long, but I’ve never seen a meeting with so much budget involved. Like, can y’all come up with something else to meet about? Maybe police reform or I dunno starting the decriminalization of homelessness?”

Maria laughed. “You can say that again.”

“I’m just glad it’s the weekend and Monday is a new week, a fresh start with all new bullshit to take care of.” Alex said as he stretched out, extending his actual leg so it wasn’t bent and put his arms on the deck behind him, putting his weight on them as he stretched his back out.

Maria nodded in agreement and sipped her own drink. “You know, what you did for Hercules, was just, amazing. I mean, it must’ve cost a fortune.”

“No, but you know what does cost a fortune? Paying back student loan debt. You start with like, 50,000 dollars and they compound interest on that with high interest rates and suddenly you owe 100,000 more; all in interest. My investment will help save Mary and William from that.”

“Don’t even remind me of the student loan thing.” Maria shook her head. “You really care about your friends’ kids, huh?” She asked as she grabbed her shirt and pulled it forward and then let it fall back a bit to cool herself down a little. The weather was fairly hot, and despite being in a tank top and shorts she was quite warm.

“I mean, yeah, I guess so. When I was younger I thought I’d have kids of my own some day but, I don’t think that that’s really in the cards anymore at this point. I haven’t in a long time.” Alex admitted. “But then I reconnect with everyone and meet you and Eliza and suddenly, instant family. Within hours of meeting, Philip was calling me ‘Uncle Alex’.” Alex smiled fondly as he watched Philip search around the yard for Mary, with William trailing behind him.

“He’s got the biggest heart, loves everyone. He gets that from his mama. It’s my favorite trait of theirs.”

Mary was then found by Philip. The kids came over to Maria, seeing that Liz and Hercules were busy preparing food.

“Mom? Can you help William count? He doesn’t know how yet.” Philip asked.

“Of course. Come here William.” Maria smiled softly and gestured for him to come closer.

William walked over to her and smiled a bit.

Maria smiled back and pulled him into her lap. “Alright, cover your eyes buddy.”

William nodded and covered his eyes. Him and Maria counted together until about 7 or so, and then it was just Maria. Instinctively Maria had put her hands over his as they counted. Soon Maria reached 20. “Alright William, go find them.” She told him as she drew her hands away and helped him off her lap.

“Fank you!” William told her and rushed off.

“Did you always know you were gonna have kids?” Alex asked her as he watched William rush off.

“Nope. Hell, until the time I was about 26 I was hardcore against ever having a kid of my own.” Maria admitted and pulled her shorts down a bit, as they had ridden up when she pulled William into her lap and then helped him out of it.

“What changed?” Alex asked curiously.

“I realized I didn’t want kids of my own because of what I went through as a child. I eventually came to realize that, I’d be better than my parents no matter what, because if nothing else, I would try to do right by my kid. I became open to having children, and Eliza always wanted to be a mom. Now Philip is tied with his mom for best thing in my life.”

Alex smiled upon hearing the story.

“You know, just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t. You could still have a kid. You aren’t even 40 yet and Hercules had William at 43.” Maria pointed out.

“I don’t know if what me and John have is even serious enough to consider kids with him.” Alex sighed a bit and sipped his drink.

“You never know. Maybe he’s desperately hoping that you’ll pop the question now and you guys can have a kid on the way somehow by the end of the year.” Maria said dramatically.

“I highly doubt that.” Alex rolled his eyes

“You never know, is my point, Alex.”

“I just, I still don’t know.” Alex admitted with a sigh.

John and Eliza then arrived. John went to say hello to Hercules and Liz, while Eliza came over to Maria and Alex, who had stood up upon hearing their significant others arrive.

“Hello love.” Eliza smiled and pecked her wife’s lips.

“Hi dear. How was work today?” Maria asked, smiling upon simply seeing her wife.

“It wasn’t awful, just a typical day in the ER; heart attack, some gallstones, foreign object in a body cavity, fake appendicitis that was a kid trying to get out of school. I’m much far happier being here with you.” Eliza smiled. “I’m gonna go get something to drink. I’ll be right back.”

Maria nodded and stole another quick peck of Eliza’s lips.

As Eliza wandered off, John came over. “Hey guys.” He smiled.

“John, what do you think of having kids?” Maria asked as soon as he was in hearing range.

“Uh, what?” John chuckled nervously, it was a very odd question to hear right off the bat like Maria had just asked.

“Kids, having them, thoughts?” Maria asked.

“Uh, maybe someday? Why?” John was beyond confused by the question, or more specifically, why he was being asked it.

“Because Alex says that he wanted kids but he’s given up on it, I’m trying to convince him that 37 isn’t that old and there’s still time for biological kids or adoption.” Maria explained to John. She then turned her attention to Alex. “You don’t have to start out with a baby that’s like only a couple months old. You can start with a kid, then you get to avoid diapers and months of crying multiple times in the night."

“She does have a point.” John admitted.

“Of course she does, she’s a genius.” Eliza said, hugging Maria from behind and resting her head on Maria’s shoulder.

“Why thank you Eliza.” Maria smiled.

“Of course love.” Eliza kissed Maria’s cheek.

Now that John and Eliza had arrived everyone was sitting down at the long table that was really just two folding tables put together in the middle of the back yard. Hercules had face-timed Lafayette on his laptop and it was sitting at the table so they could talk to him even if he wasn’t actually there. Unlike everyone else though, who were in nice barbecue-y clothes, Lafayette was on his couch in some kind of sweater, with his hair in a messy puff of a ponytail and his glasses on.

“Before we dig in, I wanna say a little something.” Hercules stood, holding his glass.

“By all means.” John told him.

“Go ahead.” Angelica added.

“I’ll try to keep this short.” He promised. “I just, I want to take a moment to thank Alexander, for what he’s done for my family and me. We’d be facing a very different situation right now if not for him, so, to Alex.” Hercules raised his glass of iced tea.

Everyone raised their glasses or pop cans, Lafayette could even be seen raising his glass of wine over the computer screen.

Everyone looked at Alex to say something in response.

“There’s not much to say, you needed help, I helped you, I’d do it again, for anyone sitting at this table. Although, I might need a little time before I can afford to do it again, so maybe wait a couple years?” Alex chuckled and earned chuckles from the people sitting at the table. “Enough talk, let’s eat.” Alex grinned.

Glasses were clinked and everyone then began eating.

After dinner everyone hung out, mingling a while longer. The children were playing tag now, running around the back yard, laughing and giggling as they chased each other.

John, Eliza, Maria, Hercules, and Liz were deep in a conversation, so Alex wandered over to where Angelica was sitting on the edge of the deck. “Hey Angie, everything okay?” Alex asked, sitting down next to her.

She looked over. “Fine, why?”

“You’re just, quiet, and not being super social. I thought I’d do what any good friend would and check in.” Alex explained.

“I’m okay. Just, a little worried about Peggy. She was supposed to call me this morning and didn’t.” Angelica frowned a bit.

“Where was she right now again?”

“Somewhere in Africa, helping build school houses in various villages as part of her mission work.” Angelica explained.

“She’s gonna be fine. I don’t know her that well but she’s pretty smart, and a tough cookie, from what I’ve gathered. I’m sure she’s just fine. Even I know her well enough to know that she probably just forgot.” Alex reassured Angelica.

“I know, I know. I think I just worry more about my sisters because I don’t have my own family to worry about.” Angelica looked down.

“Do you regret having not settled down?” Alex asked, the idea of Angelica having that kind of regret was a little shocking.

“No, definitely not. I’m terrible at relationships and I don’t really even enjoy them. And I’m a pretty good aunt but I’d make a terrible mom.”

“But you still can’t help but wonder if you aren’t maybe missing something?” Alex offered.

“I guess so? I just, I dunno, I wonder if I’m actually doing enough with my life. I don’t have my own family and I spend my days applying for copyrights and settling lawsuits. I just, I feel like I should be doing more. Eliza is a nurse, Maria is a social worker, John is a surgeon, Liz is an audiologist, you and Lafayette are in politics; you all do things that help people.” She shook her head a bit. "Mid-life crisis much?"

“Maybe it’s time for a career change.” Alex suggested.

“To what? I mean, I don’t even know what else I would enjoy.” Angelica admitted. “I’ve known I wanted to be a lawyer since I was like, 12 years old.”

“I never said stop being a lawyer, I’m just saying maybe it’s time to leave business law. You joined it to prove that a black woman could succeed in a boy’s-club type career, and you’ve more than done it. But if you don’t enjoy it anymore you can always leave, change to a different kind of lawyer.”

“Huh.” Angelica said to herself. “I mean, there is a growing need for lawyers for companies like ACLU. They don’t make a lot of money but that’ll never be a worry for me with my father’s success.”

Alex nodded. “Plus that’s probably an even bigger ‘fuck you’ to the old straight white men.” Alex chuckled.

Angelica smiled. “You make some very good points. Maybe I’ll look into what it would take to do it. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Alex. Thank you for that.”

“Anytime.” Alex grinned.

John watched as Alex’s social-activity continued to battery drain over the two hours after dinner ended. By 8pm, he could tell Alex was getting tired and wanted to go. “Hey, you wanna crash at my place tonight? It’s Friday so there’s no work tomorrow morning.” John offered.

Alex nodded. “I’d like that, yeah.” He smiled a bit.

The two said their goodbyes to everyone and left in their own separate cars, but both drove to John’s.

It wasn’t a long drive from Hercules’ house to John and soon they arrived. John parked in the garage, and Alex on the street, he then walked over and came into the garage. As John hung up his car keys he looked at Alex and bit his lip.

“What is it dear?” Alex asked him as he slid his crocs on, even if they’d probably be going to bed soon.

“Well I mean, I show up at your apartment nowadays and the doorman just gives me your key. I don’t even need the password anymore. I was wondering, if, well you wanted a key to my place?” John asked curiously.

“Are you offering out of wanting to give me a key, or because you feel obligated?” Alex asked. They were two very different things, and his feelings aside, Alex would only accept if John legitimately wanted to give him a key. 

“Because I want you to have a key.” John told him reassuringly.

Alex smiled a bit. “I’d like that.”

John took the Maserati keys and pulled a key off the ring. “All my doors have different locks, but that key is good for the front door.” He handed it to Alex.

Alex smiled at him and fished out his keys, adding it to the key ring. “I’ll have another key for my place cut, so you don’t need to ask Bernard everytime you come over.” He promised.

John smiled back. “Let’s actually go inside now, yeah? I think I’m in the mood to give you something other than a house key.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex smirked a bit.

“Oh yeah.” John nodded and grinned at him.

They quickly went inside and up to John’s room to have their fun, with no idea what was coming for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two quick things: Yes that was a Falsettos reference, and can we just take a half a moment to appreciate how loving Eliza and Maria are with each other? Like, they're literally goals, what that have is all I want in life.


	24. I Can See The Headline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mention of calories, being falsely accused of a crime, racism, xenophobia, panic attacks

It was Thursday, exactly a week after the barbecue. Alex was working a little bit later, and most people had left the office by now. He was currently on the phone with Angelica, who was talking to him while he continued to work.

“So I did some research,” She started.

“Oh? What on?” Alex asked, he had a basic idea of what it probably was, but wanted to know the specifics.

“Well what kinds of lawyers ACLU needs, and what it would take to get to that from where I am now.” Angelica explained.

“Alright.” Alex nodded a bit. “I mean, I don’t think you would have to go back to law school, you took a variety of different classes and passed the bar exam like everyone else.” He offered.

“No I don’t, however because I don’t have much experience in the type of law they’re practicing I’m gonna do some brushing up on that.” Angelica admitted.

“Makes sense.”

“I contacted someone at the New York office and asked them, actually. They said they wouldn’t make me do a full fellowship with them because I’ve been a practicing lawyer for a decade. They offered to let me shadow one of their other lawyers for a while in order to see what it’s like and learn the ropes a bit better.”

“Are you gonna take them up on that?” Alex asked, thinking she would be stupid not to.

“I’d be stupid not to. They said they’d even accommodate my regular work schedule somewhat so that I don't have to quit my current job without having another guaranteed one lined up.”

“Nice.” Alex commented.

“Right? I already spoke to my boss. I’m not quitting yet but I’m taking some time off. I really feel like this is where I’m supposed to be, ya know?”

“Yeah I get it.” Alex told her. “I like my current job, but sometimes I miss the courtroom a lot. When you know, you know.” Alex admitted to Angelica.

“Exactly. And Peggy called this morning, everything is fine, she just had her weeks mixed up is all.”

“I told you that she’d be fine.” Alex remarked.

“I know, Alex.” Angelica said, Alex could practically hear the eye-roll Angelica was performing.

“Well I gotta run, Tinder hook-up has been spotted.” Angelica explained quickly.

“Go get some dick.” Alex chuckled and hung up.

After 5 minutes of silence Alex sighed and phoned John as he worked to finish up his work for the night, mostly because he was lonely and missed his boyfriend.

John answered at the second ring. “Hey hot stuff, you gonna be home soon?” He wondered.

“Does ‘home’ mean yours or mine?” Alex chuckled into the phone.

“Yours.” John could be heard yawning. 

“I take it work was long?” Alex asked with a chuckle.

“Alex, I was dragged to the ER literally the second I got to work for an incoming trauma and then spent 12 hours in surgery. I just got here like, a half hour ago and I’ve been resting my eyes since.” John admitted.

“Sounds like a fun day.” Alex said satirically.

“Well we saved the guy’s life so, it certainly could’ve been worse.” John told him.

“I guess so. I’m just finishing up with a couple things. I’ll probably be out of here in 20. Do you want me to pick up food on the way home? You sound tired and I’m pretty wiped too. I don’t think either of us is in the mood to cook.”

“Ooo, yeah, maybe that Teppanyaki place near your office?” John suggested.

“Good idea babe. What do you want?” Alex pulled out a sticky note pad and a pen so he could jot down John’s order.

“The teriyaki chicken, with white rice, and the standard veggies, but no mushrooms and extra broccoli?” John told him slowly, giving him time to get it all down.

Alex quickly wrote it down as John said it. “Got it.” He said. He shoved the sticky in his pocket and turned back to his work and sighed. “I swear to god John, this entire office would fall apart without me, I think I deserve a raise.” Alex declared dramatically.

“You say that like you’re paid nothing. Alexander, you make more than the members of city council.” John reminded him.

“Because I work harder than they do.” Alex grumbled.

“Well, I’m sure lots of people know that, and appreciate the work you do.” John reassured him.

“They’d better.” Alex huffed.

John chuckled in response. “I miss you.”

“I know, I miss you too. I’m almost done, I promise. I’d far rather be home with you right now, but with the types of files some of these things are, I can’t save the changes and walk away and have it all here tomorrow morning. Either I finish it now or redo the whole thing tomorrow morning.” Alex explained.

“It’s okay Alex. I understand.” John promised. “It’ll just mean I’ll be that much more grateful when you do get home.”

“Are you referring to it as my home or our home?” Alex asked after a moment of silence.

“Would it be cheesy to say that my home is wherever you are?” John asked.

“Yes, but I don’t mind cheese.” Alex smiled to himself, and he knew John was on the other end of the line smiling too.

John was quiet for a moment as he thought. “I don’t necessarily see your place as home yet, but, I mean, I have a key to the place, and a toothbrush here, and some clothes and meds and I’m no longer afraid to raid your fridge, so it’s definitely a step in the right direction.” He told Alex.

“I know you aren’t afraid to raid my fridge. You’re eating me out of house and home.” Alex teased his boyfriend.

“Well unlike you, I don’t have a desk job. To be a surgeon there is a level of physique you should uphold, otherwise you won’t hold-up well in the OR. Plus you’re on your feet practically all day, of course I’m gonna need more food than you, I burn more calories. Also, why didn’t you mention your building has a gym before?” John asked Alex, sounding somewhat upset about it, but not actually mad.

“My building has a gym?” Alex was genuinely shocked to hear this.

“Jesus christ.” John mumbled. “Yeah it does. There’s a membership fee but it’s only 50 bucks for a year, which you probably wouldn’t know, but that’s a really good price. I have my workout space in the basement-basement at home but, the gym at your building has more stuff than my home one.” John explained.

“How? You literally bought a Maserati because you felt like it.”

“Space constraints.” John told him simply, but seriously.

“John you have two guest bedrooms and an office, as well as two living rooms. You have more than enough space.” Alex pointed out to him.

“Not the same.” John said simply.

“Do you want a membership for the gym?” Alex asked, using a tone similar to what a person asking a dog if they wanted a bone would use.

“I am thinking about it.” John admitted.

Then there was a knock on the door to Alex’s office.

“John, babe, I gotta go.” Alex said quickly. “I’ll be leaving the office in about 10 minutes, and shouldn’t be any longer than 45 minutes.” Alex promised.

“Alright, see you soon.” John hung up.

“Come in!” Alex called out despite not expecting anyone as he set his phone down on his desk.

Alex looked up as Jefferson, Madison, and a man he had not seen in years; Aaron Burr, walked into his office. They looked like they were men on a mission. Alex suppressed his look of shock and confusion. “Councilman Jefferson, Councilman Madison, Mr Burr,” Alex greeted. “What can I do for you?” He asked.

“We have copies of check stubs for some of your recent purchases.” Jefferson started, then looked at Madison.

“Over 2 million dollars, paid to various accounts.” Madison continued for Jefferson.

“All of them over the last couple of weeks, most of them going to accounts linked to a Mr Hercules Mulligan.” Aaron Burr continued.

“Is that really any of your concern? What is this?” Alex asked, confused as to what they were trying to say and do here, and still very confused as to why a lawyer- Burr- was here with Jefferson and Madison.

“You are, in a unique situation by virtue of your position.” Madison began this time.

“Virtue is not a word I’d apply to this situation James.” Jefferson cut in, talking more to his friend than Alex.

“In the act to seek financial gain, it would appear you’ve strayed from your dedication to the city.” Madison continued with what he was saying before Jefferson cut in.

“The evidence suggests you’ve at the very least, engaged in speculation.” Jefferson finally said something that explained anything as to why they may have been there.

“Which we have a record of you doing in the past, via purchasing of shares.” Burr added in quickly

“An immigrant embezzling our government funds.” Madison shook his head. “I thought higher of you, Hamilton.” Madison admitted to Alexander.

“I can almost see the headline your career is done.” Jefferson practically grinned as he said it, which made Alex feel uneasy. “You might as well run back to whatever hole it is you came from.” He suggested somewhat cruelly.

“What are you even talking about?” Alex asked, his confusion was obvious. “I’ve done nothing illegal. You couldn’t possibly have anything proving that I have.”

“Actually, we do, as does every single other person in this office building.” Jefferson laid down the most recent copy of the city budget on Alex’s desk.

“This is the city budget, Jefferson.” Alex told the Virginian.

“Exactly. With a convenient 2.5 million in funding missing from it. Did you really think no one would notice that Hamilton?” Madison asked.

Alex looked over the budget, and realized his mistake. “Oh, pfft, that was an accident. I’ll fix it right now.” Alex shook his head a little. “Such drama queens. You could’ve just told me there was a mistake on the budget report. You didn’t have to bring a lawyer in here and threaten my job.” Alex said to Jefferson.

“Is it really a mistake, Hamilton? Because to us it looks like you sent 2 million dollars to this Mr Mulligan, and just a day after the final check is written in a string of unusual money being pulled from your account, 2.5 million goes missing from the city budget.” Jefferson explained.

“Upon my research I found that Mr Mulligan is a small business owner, a tailor apparently, although I don’t know many men that look like that that are owners of a business. Especially one for a dying profession such as tailoring.” Burr explained.

“Was that a nudge at the fact that Hercules is black, Burr? You’re literally also black, everyone in this room is a person of color.” Alex called him out as he stood up, no longer comfortable sitting down due to the energy of the room and the accusations being thrown at him.

“I might be black, but I’m not black like him, and I wasn’t raised in one of the poorest boroughs of New York.” Burr bit back. “And that’s not what this is about. Everyday on your way home there is a good chance you walk past at least one business that is taking part in a money laundering scheme.” Burr told them.

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but was so blown away by the words coming from Burr’s mouth that he couldn’t think of anything to say in response. The racist comments towards Hercules and the accusation had Alex’s head spinning.

Burr continued. “You engaged in improper speculation and funded the rebuild of Mulligan’s ‘tailor shop’. Then you set the funds from the budget aside, to pull later: probably to make your money back while the apparent tailor shop gets established. I’ve been working as a personal lawyer for these gentlemen, and they asked me to brush up on fiance law when they saw you were embezzling funds.” Burr explained.

“It’s not embezzlement!” Alex exclaimed, beginning to grow angry. “It was a legitimate mistake! And Mulligan Tailoring is a legitimate business with some very wealthy clients! I believe some of whom work in this very office, including but not limited to the mayor himself!” Alex exclaimed.

“Sure, uh-huh, okay.” Jefferson made it clear he didn’t believe it.

“Honestly, Jefferson, are you done? I would like to fix my  **mistake** and go home, in case you weren’t aware, it’s late.” Alex was upset and rightfully so at being accused of something so terrible.

“Sure, we can leave, but just know that no one believes the lies you just came up with and the fact that you aren’t spending more time trying to defend yourself makes you even more suspicious.” Burr told him. 

“I’m not defending myself more because I’ve done nothing wrong!” Alex threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

“Keep up with your story all you want, Hamilton. Just know that there will be an investigation into this at the very least, and the truth will get uncovered.” Burr warned him.

“And just an FYI, Hamilton, you should know that I’ve already submitted all of this to Washington, though he was gone for the night by the time I got it on his desk. And well, I took a page out of your book,  _ Publius _ . The papers already have the story and it’ll be in the evening paper, probably up by now.” Jefferson checked his watch. “Have a good night, Hamilton, it might be your last for a while.” Jefferson smirked and then the three men finally left Alexander’s office.

Alex quickly turned to his laptop and went to Google, his hands shaking as he typed some keywords into the Google search engine. ‘NYC budget manager stealing funds’ He nervously hit search.

There it was, the very first result, published not 20 minutes ago.

_ ‘NYC Budget Manager Alexander Hamilton Attempts to Steal City Funds’ _

Alex suddenly found his chest felt tight and his breathing became uneven and heavy, his chest collapsed deeply with each breath but he still was not able to get a sufficient amount of air into his lungs.


	25. People Down On Their Luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack, falsely being accused of committing a crime, brief mention of alcohol, talk of scars (not s*lf-h*rm tho), brief bomb mention, talk of parental death, talk of racism and xenophobia. (Whew that's a lot-)

John knew something was wrong when 45 minutes went by since his call with Alex ended. The guy lived for routines and schedules, and would lose it if he found himself even 5 minutes late to an informal event, and definitely would’ve called to say he’d be later by now. John tried to call Alex, but got no response. He frowned. He waited a couple minutes before trying a second time, again with no response. John tried twice more over the next 10 minutes and still didn’t get an answer. His next try was Washington.

“Hello?” George answered the phone.

“Hi George, it’s John, are you by chance still at the office?” John bit his lip as he looked at the clock.

“No, I left almost an hour and a half ago, why?” George asked, sounding concerned.

“Well, Alex said he would be home in 45 minutes, and it’s been about an hour, he’s never late, and if he thinks he  _ might _ end up arriving late he calls.”

“You’re right about that.” Washington chuckled a bit. “He was still working away when I left the office already for the day. Maybe he began working on something else and lost track of time?” George suggested, it wasn’t totally out of character for Alex to do something like that.

“I dunno, he won’t answer his phone either, I’ve tried calling multiple times.”

“That’s, also very out of character.” George admitted. “If he’s not home in the next half hour, call me back or send me a text and I’ll make a quick call to the security guys to let you in the building and you can go look for him. Maybe his phone died and he’s still working.” George offered.

“Alright, thank you sir.” John told Washington.

“Of course.” 

The call ended and John waited for Alex, but a half hour went by, and there was still no sign of him. He texted Washington as he left Alex’s apartment. He made sure to drive by the Teppanyaki place and made sure Alex wasn’t there, before going to Alex’s work. When John got to the building he was let in by security and went to Alex’s office, which the security guy gave him directions to.

As John got closer to Alex’s office he heard gaspy breaths that almost sounded like sex noises. Upon hearing this the air around John seemed to get cold, as the terrible idea of the possibility Alex was cheating on him struck John’s mind. However after listening for a couple seconds, John decided it wasn’t sex noises, which caused only a brief second of relief before he realized they sounded more like pain noises, or crying noises. John frowned deeply and he knocked on the door.

“G- go away!” Alex called out.

“Alex, baby, it’s me!” John called back.

Alex was quiet for a moment. “Come in.”

John entered the office. Alex wasn’t immediately noticeable from the doorway. John found him sitting on the ground, leaning against his desk, his face was tear-stained and he had pushed his suit jacket off, his tie was on the ground beside him, he’d undone some of the buttons on his shirt, as well as pushed up the sleeves. “Baby what’s wrong?” John asked, as he crouched down next to Alex. He suspected that Alex had had or was maybe still having a panic attack, based on the tears and the removed clothing.

“My career is over.” Alex whispered. He was sitting on the floor with his legs straight out in front of him, his arms were crossed and he didn’t make eye contact with John as he spoke.

“I just spoke with Washington, he seemed to think otherwise.” John frowned a bit.

“You haven’t seen the news?” Alex mumbled, looking up at him.

“No?” John looked confused.

Alex pointed to his laptop. “Read it.” He whispered.

John stood and looked at black screen of Alex’s laptop that was still sitting on his desk, he ran his finger over the track pad to wake it up and typed in the pin to unlock it- which he knew because Alex had told him more than once- the laptop unlocked and opened to a news article that was half-read already. John scrolled up and looked at the headline. 

_ ‘NYC Budget Manager Alexander Hamilton Attempts to Steal City Funds’ _

John looked confused as he began scanning the article, trying to figure out what was going on and why exactly Alex might be being accused of that.

“I’m gonna lose my job.” Alex told John. He sounded like he was absolutely convinced that he’d already lost his job.

“Alex, your funding of Mulligan Tailoring was totally legal and we all know Hercules is too soft to be running a money laundering scheme.” John reminded Alex. “The only thing that doesn’t make sense to me is the missing money from the budget.” John added.

“Funding reallocation. It was that night I stayed super late after the council meeting? I guess I didn’t hit paste to say where it was being put towards after removing it from where it was previously.” Alex explained, fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.

“Well then you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, Washington’s not gonna fire you.” John told him firmly, but gently.

“It might not be up to him to decide that. There’s gonna be an investigation and with my luck city council will end up being the ones who decide.”

John crouched down again, in front of Alex this time. “Alex, look at me,” John took Alex’s hands in his own. “You’ve done nothing wrong, and I’m sure you’ll be okay. Until you know what’s gonna happen exactly, there’s no point in worrying about any of it.” John spoke softly.

Alex looked at John as he spoke, but was quiet, seeming unsure.

“Alex listen to me, hear me out. Sometimes when I get a trauma patient in the ER and I decide to take them up to the OR, I don’t know exactly what’s wrong with them yet, or I only know some of their injuries. I don’t worry about that though, because there is no point in doing so. If I take too much time to worry about the injuries a patient  _ could _ have, instead of focusing on the injuries I  _ know _ he has, it’ll kill him.”

“I’m sure there are some exceptions.” Alex mumbled.

“A couple,” John nodded. “If there’s time I always get a head-ct on unconscious patients, and if not, I have a portable one brought to the OR. But the point is Alex, if you focus on what  **could** happen, the problems you’ve got right now are gonna be what ends up burning you in the end.”

“But what is there to do right now other than worry?” Alex asked, the look on his face was one of helplessness.

“Well, I’d guess you need to set that 2.5 million where it belongs, yeah?” John suggested.

“Yeah.” Alex agreed quietly.

“Alright so do that and then we should get out of here. I’m hungry and I know you probably haven’t eaten, and I would hope there’s no other work left for you to do by now.”

Alex nodded a bit. “Okay. You’re right.”

John handed him his laptop. “Here. Fix up the budget and then we’ll go get food.” John instructed.

Alex nodded as he took the laptop. He quickly went in and fixed his mistake, then closed his laptop and looked at John.

John took the laptop and set it back on the desk. Then he helped Alex up off the floor, because for an amputee, getting on the ground is far easier than getting up off of it.

John ended up driving them to go get food, promising Alex that he would drive him to work the next morning because he’d left his car at work. Once they got their food, which they ordered to-go, they headed back to Alex’s apartment. Not much was said as they ate. 

As he finished eating John looked at Alex. “2.5 million dollars for your thoughts?” John asked as he took his container and the single-use wooden chopsticks he’d eaten with and put it all in the trash can, noting that it would need to be taken out soon.

Alex glared, it was still far too soon for such jokes. He was picking at his food, and hadn’t eaten much of it.

“Sorry.” John apologized. “But seriously, dear, please tell me what’s on your mind.” He asked as he rejoined Alex on the couch.

“Everything.” Alex admitted, he set his chopsticks down. “I’m trying to not think of it, but,” He trailed off.

“It just keeps coming back?”

Alex nodded. “I just wanna, like, turn my brain off for a couple hours.” He explained.

“Yeah? How do you turn your brain off? I mean, I know how I do it, but, everyone does it differently.” John asked.

“Sometimes I go for a walk but I wanna take my leg off for the night. Sometimes I get a drink but I don’t have anything in the house plus I’m not gonna do that with you here.” Alex told John. “I dunno, sometimes a bath helps.”

“Do you wanna take a bath?” John asked. “I could run the tub for you, wash your hair, and if you want I could do something with it after.” John offered.

Alex nodded. “I’d like that.” He gave a small smile.

“Okay, I’ll go run the bath.” John got up, he kissed Alex’s head and disappeared into the bathroom, running the water to a good temperature, not too hot, but hot enough that it would stay warm for a good while. He added some bubble bath and soon Alex came into the bathroom walking with his cane as his leg was already off.

Alex and John had seen each other naked before, multiple times, but for some reason this was different. It was John’s first time seeing Alex completely naked in a non-sexual manner. He noticed a lot more. Scars he hadn’t seen before, birthmarks and such that he was too busy to notice. John smiled at Alex. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered.

“John I’m really not in the mood for,” Alex started.

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that.” John said quickly. “I meant like, just your body, all the scars and stuff, I never really noticed before.” He explained, he sort of absentmindedly, gently ran a finger over a scar that was a neat straight line that went down the middle of Alex’s stomach, curving perfectly to go around his belly button. John was very familiar with that specific type of scar- only usually he was making the incision that would turn into that kind of scar- not seeing an old one. “Exploratory laparotomy.” He spoke quietly.

Alex nodded. “After the bomb,” He explained. “They knew something was definitely messed up but didn’t know what.”

John nodded a bit, he was quiet for a moment. “Okay, in the tub before the water gets cold.” John instructed.

Alex set his cane aside and carefully got into the tub, sinking into the water until only his head was above it.

John let Alex relax for a while, before kneeling on the floor near the tub. He carefully poured water over Alex’s hair, making sure none got in his eyes, until it was all wet. John then grabbed the shampoo and began to shampoo up Alex’s hair. Alex told John he didn’t have to, but John insisted, telling Alex to relax. “It’s kinda nice doing this with straight hair.” John admitted as he worked the shampoo in.

Alex looked up at him, confused.

John pointed to the ponytail of curls on his head with a soapy hand.

“Right.” Alex mumbled. “You’re good at this.” He added.

“Well, when my mom died my dad threw himself into his work, I kinda ended up raising my siblings for a while. There was some help, I mean, we had a maid that cleaned up after us, and another that cooked. But I was the one who made sure they ate, and went to bed on time, and got them to school each morning, and I made sure they kept themselves clean.” John explained as he massaged Alex’s scalp a bit.

Alex hummed a little to let John know he was listening.

“My sister Mary was a baby, so she needed a lot of help in that department, and James was only 10. Plus he was having a hard time coping, he needed a little help for a while too.” John explained.

“Didn’t you join up like, a year after your mom passed?” Alex asked curiously.

“Yeah. I was finishing my biochem degree and my dad finally pulled it together a bit, was around more. So I left and he hired a live-in nanny. Mary has fairly straight hair now, but when she was little it was curly, and James’ hair is closer to Lafayette’s than mine.” John added. “My mom’s family lived in Puerto Rico for as far back as they could trace. It wasn’t super far back though, only til about 1850 or so. Me, my ma, and my grandmother all highly suspect that our ancestors were actually slaves brought over from Africa, rather than people who emigrated there from Europe or natives to the Caribbean. Because I mean, the extremely curly hair, the fairly white names, and the fact that there was no official birth or death certificates found for anyone in our family dated for before slavery ended in the Caribbean?” John asked rhetorically.

“Makes sense.” Alex nodded a bit.

“I remember I was going through shit; when I was between med school and starting my residency- before I went to rehab- a couple of times Eliza washed my hair for me like this. She didn’t exactly have the easiest time because her hair is so straight. I mean, you’ve seen mine dripping wet, it’s much curlier than when it’s dry.”

Alex chuckled a bit. “Eliza’s lucky.” He said after a while.

“Why do you think so?” John asked curiously, he was still massaging Alex’s scalp, honestly enjoying the feeling of his fingers carefully working through Alex’s hair.

“I just, I mean, she was born and raised in upstate New York, she didn’t have to work tooth and nail for what she has like I did. And her parents supported her and her sisters no matter what, unlike your dad. Plus, she can pass for white fairly easily. I’m not saying she’s any less a person of color, I just mean like I don’t think a patient has ever walked into the ER and questioned her ability to do her job because of the color of her skin.”

“That’s true.” John nodded a bit.

“I mean, it might not seem like much but it really does make a difference. I shouldn’t be worrying right now if the color of my skin or my immigration status is going to cause more people to dislike me with this whole work situation.” Alex explained.

“I know.” John said softly. He tried to think of something comforting to say to Alex, but he couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t comfort Alex without telling a flat out lie. John knew it was highly probable that Alex’s immigrant status would cause people to doubt him more. “I know.” He simply repeated.

After his bath Alex and John climbed into bed, both falling asleep pretty quickly.

The next morning Alex received an email to come straight to Washington’s office when he arrived at work. John reassured Alex that Washington loved him and trusted him and would listen to Alex’s story, rather than blindly believing Jefferson without hearing Alex’s side as John drove him to work. They got there quite early for when Alex  _ had _ to be there; at Alex’s request.

A half hour before Alex had to be at work, he was knocking at Washington’s office door- which was sitting open- to get Washington’s attention, not wanting to come in uninvited.

George looked up from his work at the door, looking to see who it was. “Hamilton, come in, close the door behind you, there’s a lot to discuss.” George instructed Alex.

Alex walked into Washington’s office, closed the door behind him and took a seat in the same armchair as the day he first came into Washington’s office to tell George that he would be happy to work for him. Alex held a fairly neutral facial expression as he did all this, but inside, he was terrified of what was about to happen.


	26. Can I Prove That I Never Broke The Law?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter y'all, somehow I fit about 11 pages worth of story into 9.5 so like,, yeah
> 
> TW: falsely begin accused of a crime, brief mention of injury, getting in serious trouble at work

“I’ve looked at Madison and Jefferson’s evidence that they’ve found, and I read a news article that I can only assume was written by Jefferson, but I want to hear your side of the story before I decide on what should happen.” Washington explained to Alex as he sat down.

Alex nodded. “It felt like a week's worth of work- that day after the council meeting, and I needed to get it done ASAP, right? And my day started early too, like, I was at home, brewing my morning coffee when I got my first phone call of the day. I had stayed 2 hours late, just to finish everything.” Alex started, he was talking with his hands as he spoke.

“Yes, I recall that the updated budget report came quite late that night.” Washington nodded.

“Right. So, I was reviewing my work when I realized I’d forgotten to include that change. I copied the funding and thought I pasted it into the right spot, but when I went in and fixed it last night, I realized I must’ve hit control-b instead of control-v, because it wasn’t there, obviously, and the text would’ve been bolded had I begun typing.” Alex explained as calmly as he could, despite being an absolute wreck on the inside.

Washington nodded and took notes on what Alex said. “I do know that Mulligan Tailoring is a legitimate business. Hercules just isn’t the type to do anything illegal. I frequent the shop myself actually, he’s a damn good tailor and offers a veterans discount- not that I need it or even accept it.” George reassured Alex on that part of the issue.

“But I take it that it’s not entirely up to you to decide what happens here?” Alex asked.

“Exactly. I’ve called an emergency city council meeting for noon today. I know you don’t have much proof to protect yourself with, but anything you can gather will be important. All the councilor’s are gonna vote on whether an investigation needs to be launched, or if it was a legitimate mistake. I know you don’t have much time to prepare but the sooner we do this, the less time council members and the people of NYC have to grow more against you. If we let this stew it could look like I was in on this and then we could both end up out of a job.”

Alex nodded in understanding. “What kind of evidence should I gather, sir?”

“Well, they’re claiming you’ve committed speculation with Mulligan Tailoring; give him a call, see if he can send you some financial reports for Mulligan Tailoring for the last couple of months. You’re looking to prove that Mulligan Tailoring is a legitimate business.” George paused. “They think that you’ve embezzled funds, so prove that you don’t need to embezzle funds- which you and I both know you don’t.”

Alex nodded to himself.

“They’ve got evidence you’ve engaged in speculation before via stock purchases. With that just make sure to remind the city council that there’s nothing illegal about investing in stocks, and explain that you weren’t even trying to speculate with Mulligan Tailoring, instead committing an act of kindness towards a friend.” Washington added. “At the meeting Madison and Jefferson will state their case against you, there will be a questions period where anyone can ask Jefferson and Madison anything, then a break, you’ll make your case, another question period where people can ask you anything, a second break, then we’ll reconvene and vote.”

“Alright. Thank you for the heads up, sir, and the vote of confidence, it feels good knowing that I have you on my side.” Alex admitted to Washington, being completely honest.

Washington smiled. “Of course, son, now go get ready, if you have time try and calm yourself before coming to the meeting. And remember: no matter what’s said in that meeting, you have to keep your composure. If you grow too angry or upset, it’ll only help Jefferson and Madison’s case.”

Alex nodded and went to his office. He sat down at his desk, opened his laptop up and unlocked it. Alex then pulled out his phone and called Hercules, he set the call on speaker phone and put it down on the desk. As he waited for Hercules to pick up he opened an empty word document and began to type, organizing his defense like he would for court cases when he was a lawyer.

“Alex, hey.” Hercules answered the phone after a couple of rings, sounding thankful to have received the call. “Is everything alright? I read some shitty article last night that said something about you potentially being in trouble for funding my reopening? What’s all that even about?”

“It’s uh, it’s actually why I’ve called.” Alex sighed a bit. “Look, I haven’t done anything wrong, it was a simple mistake that got blown out of proportion. Jefferson, and Madison are trying to make it appear that I’ve done something illegal because Jeffershit hates my guts and wants me kicked out of office.”

“I believe you.” Hercules reassured him. “You don’t gotta sell me. You’re one of my best friends and you lost a leg protecting two more of my friends. I’d never believe some rich snotty Republican politician over you.” 

“Thanks for that, Hercules. Anyway, do you have, like, financial records for Mulligan Tailoring for the last couple months you could send me a copy of? Like, especially ones from before the fire?” Alex asked. “They seem to have it in their heads that I improperly speculated with the shop and then embezzled funds to try and make the money back faster. They also seem to think your shop is a money laundering scheme- which they don’t even have any real evidence for other than some racist ass bullshit.” Alex paused his rambling. “Anyway, yeah, just, financial reports, anything proving you’re a legitimate business could really help me out here.” Alex repeated himself.

“Yeah of course. I actually just got to the shop, I haven’t opened up yet for the day so I can do it right now. You called at the perfect time. I’ll email you some stuff.”

“Awesome. Oh and if there’s stuff from the bank, could please send it via a PDF file so I can’t edit it without it being obvious? I doubt it would even actually matter but I’m really just trying to protect my own ass from any more wild accusations here.”

“Of course. I’ll get it to you right away.” Hercules promised. “Is there anything else I can do to help?”

“Just don’t turn your shop into a money laundering scheme?” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Can do.” Hercules chuckled. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Hercules.” Alex hung up.

Alex finished with the outline for his defense, then pulled open his bank account reports and started gathering evidence that he was in no way hurting for money. He gathered his personal monthly budgets, and evidence of what he actually spent in a month. Even after $3400 worth of bills and monthly spending, and putting $12,000 away each month; Alex usually still had about $1000 or so left over. This was because despite living in a fairly well off area of Manhattan, he made  **a lot** of money and he was only supporting himself.

Once Alex had gathered his evidence, including what Hercules sent him, he began writing out a list of various points to make as to what he would say in his defense. He worked until about 11 or so on organizing himself then took the rest of the time to rehearse a little. Soon, it was time to go to the meeting.

“Thank you, councilmen and women for joining us on such short notice.” George began the meeting. “This emergency meeting has been called to discuss what city council would like to do on the issue of Alexander Hamilton’s alleged embezzlement of city funding. Councilmen Jefferson and Madison will begin by presenting evidence they have found against Hamilton, which they obtained with the help of a lawyer.” George announced.

Jefferson mostly, with a little help here and there from Madison, presented the case against Alex. In addition to what he’d said yesterday to Alex; he got xenophobic, and tried to use Alex’s immigrant status against him, even though Alex had been a US citizen for 14 years.

A couple questions were asked but it seemed most people were holding off until Alex presented his side, which Alex was thankful for.

At the break, which was only 15 minutes, Alex found Washington.

“What do you think the council members are thinking right now?” Alex asked, he was nervously tracing shapes into his arms, as they were sitting crossed against his chest. He’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t extremely nauseous at this point.

“I really don’t know.” George admitted. “I would like to believe that they’re waiting to hear what you have to say in your defense. I would also hope that they realize Jefferson’s utilization of your immigrant status was quite low and completely uncalled for.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I hope that’s what’s happening too.”

“How are you feeling? Ready to present your case?” George asked, sounding more like a father to Alex than a boss.

“I think so. It almost feels like being a lawyer, but I'm the defendant too.” Alex said confidently despite feeling the opposite of what he claimed.

Washington nodded. “I get that.”

Soon they reconvened. “Alexander Hamilton will now present his side of the case. When he finishes, the council members may ask any questions they have, and then we will take another break.” George announced.

Alex stood up from his seat, buttoning his suit jacket with somewhat shaky hands as he did so, but he did his best to not let that show. “Ladies, and gentlemen of city council, I know that the apparent evidence against me looks quite damning, but looks can be deceiving.” Alex started strong, his voice steady and the words rolling off his tongue with ease. “First off, I’ll address the issue of funding Mulligan Tailoring. As this document shows here, the business I funded, Mulligan Tailoring, is a legitimate, successful, and thriving business.” Alex stated. He put the document under a camera so that it appeared on a large screen for everyone to see, and it proved what he said it did. Alex focused on presenting the case, rather than how he was feeling, letting the familiar feeling of being in court take over and soothe his nerves. He was quiet for a moment, allowing people time to read the financial report Hercules has sent Alex.

“Next, as for acts of speculation, I will admit, I have committed speculation on multiple accounts, but not in the way Jefferson makes it out to be.” Alex explained. “In 2002 I bought nearly 1000 dollars worth of Netflix shares, as well as about 500 dollars worth of Apple shares.” Alex changed documents so that they could see the proof of these purchases.

“It’s also important to note that this is a very different scenario than what I did for my friend Hercules Mulligan of Mulligan Tailoring. In 2002 I spent $1500 on companies which were doing poorly, in the attempt to make a profit off of it in future- which is in no way illegal. When I funded the reopening of Mulligan Tailoring I gave a friend 2 million dollars so that him and his family could stay out of debt while he continued to make money off of his passion.”

Washington gave Alex a small, discreet thumbs up.

“Next I would like to present this evidence here, that I would not need to participate in an act of embezzlement. This document outlines my monthly spending.” Alex again changed the papers under the camera. “A generous budget considering I have no rent or mortgage to pay each month, and a deposit of 12,000 dollars monthly into a savings account which currently possesses 1.7 million dollars. There is quite simply no reason for me to do such a thing as what I’ve been accused of.”

Alex took a deep breath. “Now, as for the alleged embezzlement: I have no physical proof that I didn’t leave the 2.5 million in city funding out of the budget on purpose, but I swear that it was not intentional. As I’m sure you all remember, the day before was a very budget-focused council meeting, and it made a lot of work for me the next day. I didn’t want to get behind with my other work, so I worked almost non-stop from 8am, to 6pm. You need to realize that when I checked my call logs on my phone for that day- over the course of 10 hours- I got 42 different phone calls. That works out to a call every 14 minutes.” Alex explained.

“By 6pm my brain was fried. I hadn’t eaten all day, I’d barely drunken anything, and I was tired, not to mention in pain, and working over time without anyone asking me to. I accidentally hit one wrong key on my keyboard. I did not and never would intentionally withhold money from a budget.” Alex paused to look over his notes.

“Is that all, Hamilton?” Washington asked.

“Just a few more things.” Alex told him. “I would also like everyone to take into account the fact that Jefferson and I have previously fought on nearly 75 issues already, which is quite high considering we’ve only been at this job for 8 months. He does not like me and has voted against almost every single plan I have presented, whether I created it or not.” Alex paused and took a sip of water because his voice was getting hoarse from all the talking already.

“What Jefferson and Madison have done here today is quite literally the definition of defamatory libel. And in case some of you haven’t brushed up on your criminal law recently, it’s a crime for which I could have them charged for- though I won’t because I merely want this situation to be over and done with.” Alex looked at Jefferson while saying he could charge him for it.

“I’d also like to clarify something because Jefferson seems to be a little slow on how our country’s immigration works. I have been an American citizen for 14 years, and I served a tour in Iraq as a soldier where I got my leg blown off for a country that wasn’t even my own yet. So no, Jefferson, my ‘potential for disloyalty to America’ is not an issue, for it does not exist.” Alex finished and took a seat.

Alex was asked a couple questions, all of which he answered easily, then over the recess he stayed in the room while most people filed out. He opened his phone and went to his messages, he selected John’s contact and typed.

[Hey, just finished explaining my side of the story to city council, they’re gonna vote soon, I’m feeling good about this.]

He sent the message, and they texted back and forth a little before Alex tucked his phone away as people began reentering the room.

Soon the meeting officially reconvened and every handed in their ballot for whether to let Alex off, or do an investigation. Washington gathered all of the ballots and counted up the votes. Soon he sighed slightly and spoke. “With a vote of 27-24 a further investigation will be done to look into whether this was an act of attempted embezzlement, or a mistake.” Washington announced to the room.

“Sir, if I may speak on behalf of city council?” One of the council women spoke up.

“Of course, councilwoman, go ahead.” George told her.

“We the council members simply feel that despite all the evidence presented, we would simply be more comfortable if an investigation into this were conducted, Mr Hamilton. Embezzlement is a serious accusation and so far this has been a fairly rushed process, we simply need to be sure that we’re doing what’s in the best interest for the people of the city of New York.” She explained.

“Thank you for your statement, councilwoman, and for your time councilors, this meeting is adjourned.” George told them. “Hamilton, I want to meet you in my office.” He added.

Alex was frozen for a moment, before gathering his things and walking to Washington’s office. He was still in disbelief that 27 people could actually think Alex would try such a thing after seeing all of the evidence in Alex’s defense.

George soon joined Alex in his office. He closed the door as he entered, and took a seat at his desk. “Alexander, please know that I do still believe you. I know you are innocent, but if I try to veto the council’s decision it’ll only make you look worse and damage my image which helps neither of us.” He explained. “An investigation will be done; I can choose who by, or let you, after all, they will be trying to prove that it is a mistake. In the meantime unfortunately, I do have to suspend you. You’ll still get paid, but you can’t work. I’m temporarily removing your permissions to your work, and entrance to the building, you absolutely can not be around while the investigation is underway.” George explained.

“Is that really necessary?” Alex asked, his entire world felt like it’d been flipped on it’s axis.

“Yes, and there’s nothing I can do to make it unnecessary. Alexander, my hands are tied. But your name is clean, we just need a week, maybe two to prove that. In the meantime go home, get some rest, and try to enjoy the time off- the weather is supposed to be absolutely beautiful starting tomorrow.”

“But sir,” Alex started.

“Go home.” George repeated firmly.

As Alex left Washington’s office, he stopped by his own office and grabbed everything he didn’t want to leave there for a week, and headed home. He was basically on auto-pilot, still in shock with how the day had gone. Just an hour ago he had been so hopeful, so sure that his name would be cleared.

And yet somehow 27 people decided that Alex couldn’t be trusted, and now, he had no idea what was going to happen.


	27. Is He Going To Survive This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Storms, talk of PTSD, panic attacks, getting lost

Alex dumped all his stuff at home, and changed out of his suit. He settled on putting on black joggers and a bright blue athletic t-shirt that was probably John’s, but thanks to the universality of a men’s medium-sized shirt, it fit him just fine. He had decided somewhere between nearly crying in his car once arriving home and getting to his apartment that he was going to go for a walk. Alex thought about it, but decided against bringing his wallet, instead just tucking a ten dollar bill into his pocket; not imagining he could need more than that. He put in earbuds, turning on his playlist, then zipped the pocket up so that it only left a small space for the earbud cord. 

If he wanted, he could’ve gotten himself wireless earbuds in a second. However he hated Airpod style earbuds, as they were quite uncomfortable and not noise cancelling. The Samsung versions were tiny, and despite him being careful, he was sure he’d lose one. Not to mention that corded earbuds made it harder for someone to try and steal your phone, and airpods could never save a phone from getting it’s screen shattered upon hitting the ground the way corded earbuds could. 

He left his apartment and zipped his keys into the pocket with the cash and began walking.

Alex lived near his work, in Tribeca, at the south end of Manhattan. He wasn’t sure where he was headed, but he began walking north at around 3pm, the sun was out and there were some clouds off in the distance, but nothing too bad looking. He couldn’t decide if he was trying to turn his brain off or just clear his head, but either way, he was going for a walk because it was too early in the day for a drink and he didn’t feel like a bath.

As Alex walked, he kept going over every little move he made at the meeting, wondering what he should’ve said, what he could’ve said, if there was something he shouldn’t have said, anything that could’ve changed just 2 more people’s minds. It was killing him. Had he managed to convince just 2 more people, none of this would be happening. He hated that Jefferson and Madison were doing this to him, and now he was considering charges for defamatory libel although he likely wouldn’t actually go through with it. He just wanted them to pay for what they did- what they were doing to him. 

He just continued walking and thinking, thinking and walking, not realizing how far from home he was getting, not checking his texts and being too distracted by his thoughts to notice the phone ringing, too upset to notice the skies darkening with an incoming storm.

That is, until the rain began to fall. Alex looked up, the clouds were very dark grey, closer to black. For Alex that was the one downfall of New York, being so close to the ocean as you are in New York meant a lot more storms. After a hurricane in Nevis as a teenager, he hated storms, and it had never gotten better. Luckily though, the PTSD meds he took for other reasons seemed to help most of the time with the fear of storms. He told himself that things weren’t awful; that he could handle some rain.

But then there was a bright flash of lightning accompanied by a large thunder crack that seemed to shake the ground under Alex’s feet. This was different. This was something he couldn’t handle, especially when he looked around and realized he had absolutely no idea where he was. 

Alex pulled out his phone, only to realize it had died. He had no idea what time it was and no way to call anyone. He spent his money leaving a nice tip for a kid working at a coffee shop a couple hours ago. The kid got yelled at by a boomer for not making the coffee hot enough, even though the kid said it was at nearly 200 degrees. Alex, being the guy he was, told the kid he was doing a good job, and gave the poor kid a $7 tip for scanning a 3 dollar bottle of water. He pulled out the receipt and found the coffee shop’s address, he figured out that it had been somewhere in Greenwich village, and that had been hours ago. It made him wonder just how far he had gotten from home.

\---

John called Alex around 5pm, when his shift ended, wondering how things at work went for Alex. Alex didn’t answer, and at first John thought maybe he was busy. He tried again around 6pm, and again Alex didn’t answer. John decided to send Alex a couple of texts.

[Hey babe] At 6:11pm.

[Alex?] At 6:20pm.

[Alex this isn’t like you, are you alright?] At 6:27pm.

[Alex a storm is coming and I know you don’t like storms, so, stay safe and if you need something, call me, okay?] At 6:35pm.

John tried calling him again, but still received no answer. He called Alex’s building next.

“Tribeca Tower, this is Bernard speaking, how can I help you today?” The doorman answered the phone.

“Hey Bernard, this is John Laurens, Mr Hamilton’s boyfriend? I was simply wondering if you would mind buzzing up to Alexander’s apartment and seeing if he’s home? I seem to have, uh, misplaced him.” John asked.

“Certainly Mr Laurens. Just give me one moment.”

“Of course.” John said and waited.

Soon Bernard spoke again. “Unfortunately it would appear that Mr Hamilton isn’t home. I haven’t seen him today either, as I only started my shift a half an hour ago.” He explained.

“Alright, thank you anyway Bernard.”

“You’re welcome Mr Laurens. Good luck finding Mr Hamilton.”

John tried calling Alex again and still he received no answer. He called Washington next, with a strange feeling he’d been in this situation before not long ago- because he had been.

“John, hello, what can I do for you?” George asked upon answering the phone.

“Well, I haven’t heard from Alex since like, 1:30, before city council voted according to his text. I’ve tried calling him like, 3 times and sent him 4 texts, he isn’t responding, I’m worried about him.” John explained. He was feeling a little panicked at that point.

Washington sighed. “They voted to do an investigation. It was a very close vote: 27-24. Alexander was quite upset about it. Unfortunately I had to suspend him for the time being until the investigation is finished. I sent him home around 2? 2:30? Somewhere in there. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

John frowned. “That was 4 hours ago.” He bit his lip, wondering where Alex was and hoping he was okay.

“I know.” He paused. “I’m gonna try calling him, maybe he’s upset and just, doesn’t want to talk to his friends?” George suggested hopefully.

“Okay.” John nodded to himself. “Please call me if you hear from him? He doesn’t like storms and it looks like we’ve got a bad one headed our way.” John explained.

“Will do, keep me updated as well please.” George requested.

“Of course.” John said.

He called Hercules, Angelica, Maria, and Eliza, none of whom had a clue where Alex was. He had received a text from Washington saying that Alex didn’t answer his call either and that he’d keep an ear out. Growing desperate and concerned, he even tried Lafayette, wondering if maybe Alex hadn’t gotten so upset he decided to go down to DC and spend some time with Lafayette.

“John! How are you? I miss you all so much!” Lafayette said excitedly upon answering the phone.

“I’m actually calling because I’m worried about Alex.” John went on to explain what Alex was facing at work. “You haven’t heard from him, have you?”

“Not a word since three days ago when he sent me a meme.” Lafayette told him.

“Shit.” John mumbled. He went and looked out the window, the sky was growing darker, it would be raining soon.

“John what is the problem?” Lafayette sounded concerned.

“Washington sent him home about 5 hours ago, I’ve tried calling a bunch, George even tried with no luck and he’s not responding to my text messages either.” John explained. “There’s a really bad storm headed our way and no one has a clue where he is. I’m gonna let you go, I need to make another call.”

“Of course, mon ami. Let me know when you find our petit lion, oui?” He requested.

“Of course. Bye Laf.”

“Bye John.”

John called Hercules again, he had still been working when John called the first time. “Hey are you still at the shop?” John asked as soon as Hercules picked up.

“Just leaving now, why?” Hercules asked.

“Alex’s place isn’t far from your shop, do you think you could like, go and see if he’s home? I had the doorman buzz up to his apartment not long ago to see if he’s home, but the doorman said he wasn’t there, but he could’ve just ignored it. Just tell the doorman that the password is May 13th 2004 and he’ll give you a key to Alex’s apartment.”

“You still haven’t found him?” Hercules sounded more concerned than he had before.

“Nope. I’m getting really worried.” John admitted.

“Now I am too. Of course I’ll help. I’ll go check his place out and call you back in like, 10 minutes.”

“Thank you.” John said sincerely.

John waited and 10 minutes later, true to his word, Hercules called him back. 

“Well?” John asked, hoping Alex would be there.

“Nothing, but John, he’s been home since work today.” Hercules told John.

“How do you know?” John asked, confused as to how Hercules would know that.

“Well his to-go mug from coffee and a Tupperware container are in the sink, he’s got work clothes laying on the foot of the bed in a messy pile, and his wallet is here. Plus the doorman checked the security cameras and said his car is in the garage.” Hercules explained.

“Fuck. He could be anywhere.” John went and grabbed the keys to his Jeep and got in. “I’m gonna go out looking for him.”

“I can help.” Hercules offered.

“Please do? If you’re still at his apartment I’d recommend starting there, and slowly work your way further away, he can’t have gotten too too far. And please be careful, it’s gonna be raining hard and the roads are gonna get slick fast. I’m gonna drive into Manhattan and work my way through all his favorite spots.” John explained.

“Sounds good and don’t worry about me, my car’s got 4x4, a little rain isn’t gonna hurt me. Keep me updated.” Hercules told him. “Oh! And by the way I gave the keys back to the doorman.”

“Perfect. Thanks Hercules.”

John ended the call with Hercules as he began driving. He called Angelica over his car’s bluetooth.

“Hey John, find Alex yet?” Angelica asked hopefully as soon as she answered the phone.

“No. And he’s not home but he was there. He doesn’t have his car, so he’s on foot, and he doesn’t have his wallet, so he probably doesn’t have any money on him and it’s gonna start raining soon and he doesn’t like storms.” John would be lying if he said he wasn’t getting a little panicked by now.

“Okay, alright, just take a deep breath. We’re gonna find him. I’m sure it’s no big deal.” Angelica reminded John, easily picking up on his anxiety. “I’m not doing anything important right now. How can I help?” She asked.

“Would you mind going to his apartment and just, waiting there? In case he comes home and he’s not doing well? Me and Hercules are gonna drive around and look for him but I’m hoping he hasn’t gotten too far. If we have any luck at all he’ll just, show back up at home, but I really don’t think he should be alone when he gets there. You know how much he hates storms plus with Washington suspending him this afternoon, pending the investigation into the whole embezzlement fiasco.” John was admittedly speeding slightly as he drove from Brooklyn to Manhattan, but he didn’t really care right now.

“Of course I can do that.” Angelica told John. “Should I meet you somewhere for keys to his apartment or...?” Angelica asked.

“Doorman has ‘em, tell him May 13th 2004 is the password. And if he asks about the people coming and going, it’s because Hercules was just there. Just, tell him that Alex still hasn’t showed back up and we’re covering all our bases.”

“Alright. Keep me updated, I’ll call you if he shows up.” Angelica promised.

“I will. Thank you, Angie.”

The call ended there. John drove into Manhattan to Alex’s building, and from there he started going to all of Alex’s favorite places; restaurants, coffee shops, book stores, anywhere he could think of. Then it began raining and John felt the urgency of the situation suddenly increase as there was a large thunderclap that seemed to shake the ground. He needed to find Alex, and fast.

\---

Alex looked around, trying to gather his bearings, he wasn’t on a main drag, he knew that much, and had absolutely no idea where he was. In no time at all it was pouring rain and there were no shops or places to get inside nearby. It was all just residential buildings and such. The situation felt all too similar to the storm he dealt with in Nevis 20 years ago. He felt his chest tightening at the thought, and his breathing became ragged. He tucked himself into a nearby doorway of a brick building, so he was protected on three sides, and only got a little wet from the pounding rain. In his mind, it would be no time at all until the street was flooding, and he had no idea what he would do then.

\---

John continued driving around, he had checked all of Alex’s favorite spots and then checked them again, even going into some of them and asking if they’d seen him. He continued to try places further and further from Tribeca, figuring the more time Alex had been gone, the further he could’ve gotten. He only hoped Alex hadn’t tried taking the subway anywhere. Luckily he knew Alex hated the subway with a passion and figured he wouldn’t take it. As he drove around he called Eliza.

“Hey, have you found Alex yet?” She asked, sounding concerned.

“Not yet. I know it’s pouring rain outside but is there anyway I could bribe you into checking for him at my house? Angie’s at his place, and me and Hercules are driving around looking for him, but it’s been quite a while. I guess I’m hoping that maybe he went to my house and I missed him by like, minutes.” John explained.

“Of course. I was gonna leave for my shift soon anyway, I’ll leave early and stop by on my way into work.”

“Thank you, Eliza. I just, I really need to find him.” John sighed.

“I know John. If this were Maria, or heaven forbid Philip, I’d be doing the exact same thing that you are, but I’d probably be far less composed than you. Keep me updated please?”

“I wouldn’t imagine doing anything different.” John told her and ended the call.

It was 8pm now and the storm was in full force, for once the streets of New York City were eerily calm. There was still some traffic, but nothing like what it normally was. John didn’t even know where he was driving to at this point, he was just driving around aimlessly in the desperate hopes of finding Alex. He worried beyond belief for his boyfriend, longing for nothing more than to simply be able to see him and hold him and protect him from the storm. All he wanted was to find Alex safe, sound, and most importantly; soon.

\---

Alex was startled as a bright blue jeep sped down the street he was on. There hadn’t been any cars in a while, and the Jeep made him think of John. He hoped John’s house was high enough up that the flooding wouldn’t damage it, but he also knew that John’s neighborhood bordered on the water, and that there was a chance it could if the flooding got bad enough. He watched as the Jeep came down the street, and soon disappeared from his view. All he wanted was John, to know that John was safe.


	28. I Couldn't Seem To Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Storms, panic attacks, discussion of PTSD flashbacks, power outages, illness

John was driving down some side street. There were no businesses on it, at least not retail ones, the entire block seemed to mostly just be residential buildings. He didn’t even know why he was driving down this particular street, or why he was in this area of town even. He was simply so desperate to find Alex at this point that he was willing to try anything.

John was grateful that he had thought to grab the Jeep instead of his Civic. Sure off-roading and wet smooth pavement were very different driving conditions, but having 4x4 and all that made him feel safer. He could feel the difference the 4x4 was making as he drove, gripping the road far better as he drove along the slick streets. As he got further up the street continuing to drive, for a split second a flash of bright blue against brown bricks caught his eye. John was about to ignore it and keep driving, but something told him to turn around and go back.

John made a u-turn and drove back by the same building, slower this time. There was someone wearing a bright blue athletic t-shirt and black joggers, curled up in the doorway of a building. “I have that same shirt at Alex’s.” He thought to himself. Then it hit him. That  **was** his shirt. He slammed on the breaks. John got out of the Jeep and was almost instantly soaked by the rain. He didn’t care though. He jogged over to the doorway and sure enough, by some miracle, it was Alex, curled up in a tight ball. “Alex!” He exclaimed, kneeling down beside him.

A choked sob could just barely be heard coming from Alex over the sound of the rain.

John gently placed his hands on Alex’s shoulders. “Alexander, darling, it’s me, it’s John. You’re safe now.” John spoke as calmly as he could while he spoke loudly so he could be heard over the loud noise of the heavy rain.

Alex looked up. “John.” He spoke quietly, just barely loud enough for John to hear it.

John smiled softly at him. “Yeah. Let’s get you home okay? You’re freezing cold and soaked down to the bone.” John told him.

“We’re gonna die.” Alex whispered, looking at John with a terrified look on his face.

“Alex, I promise that it’s okay, it’s just a bad storm, it’s not a hurricane. My Jeep is right there, we’re gonna go back to your apartment okay?” John explained calmly, hoping that if he was calm it would help calm Alex down too.

“We’re gonna die.” Alex repeated, his breathing was ragged and it was obvious he was having a panic attack to some extent.

John frowned a bit. “Alexander, dear, do you have any idea where you are?” He asked. John was trying to determine how panicked Alex was, by seeing if he was aware enough of his surroundings and the year and such. He hoped desperately that Alex’s storm PTSD wasn’t too awful at the moment, but he knew it probably was unfortunately.

Alex just stared at him.

“Okay, that’s okay. Do you know what year it is?” John remained patient with Alex.

Alex tried to think for a moment but in the end again he just stared at John.

“Alexander, listen, I’m here, you’re safe now. We’re in New York, it’s the year 2020, this isn’t the hurricane on Nevis. That was 20 years ago now.”

“The streets are gonna flood, we’re gonna drown.” Alex persisted.

“Well then let’s get up somewhere really high, and we won’t drown.” John decided it might be best to play along with this, he just wanted to get Alex out of the rain.

“How high?” Alex asked curiously.

“20 stories up?” John offered, hoping it was enough.

Alex bit his lip, then nodded. “That’s high enough.” He agreed.

John smiled at him. “Okay, let me help you up.” He took Alex’s hands and helped him up.

Alex began to pull himself up and nearly fell over after trying to put too much weight on his prosthetic. Luckily, John caught him and steadied him before he could fall.

“We’re gonna run to the Jeep on three, okay?” John told Alex.

Alex nodded a bit.

“1… 2…. 3!” John said and rushed to the Jeep alongside Alex. John helped Alex get in and shut his door before running around to the other side of the car and getting in, slamming the door of the car behind him. He breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Alex was quiet, and seemed terrified the entire way back to his apartment, which wasn’t a quick drive. Somehow Alex had ended up all the way in Harlem, on the north side of Manhattan. John figured Alex must’ve taken the subway at some point, because if not that was probably a 5 hour walk. John didn’t know how he himself had gotten to Harlem, but he was thankful that he did.

Soon John parked his car outside Alex’s building and arrived inside the building with Alex at his side to find that, unfortunately, there was a power outage. This meant the elevators weren’t running, and he had to help Alex walk up 20 flights of stairs to his apartment.

Alex was still out of it, he was quiet and jumpy and it broke John’s heart to have to see it. Soon they got to the apartment.

“Angelica, I found him!” John called out as they entered. Alex’s arm was around John’s neck, and Alex was leaning against John for support, but John didn’t mind this. He was just glad that Alex had been found.

Angelica came over.”Oh thank goodness. I was so worried.” Angelica told them. “Gosh you two are soaked.” She frowned and quickly grabbed a couple of clean towels from the bathroom.

“He’s not good Angie, really not good.” John told her quietly while kicking off his soggy shoes.

Angelica just nodded a bit as she wrapped Alex up in a towel, Alex just seeming to let her. She dried him off so he wasn’t dripping water anymore.

“I’m gonna take him to the bathroom, strip him out of these wet clothes and get him warmed up. Can you call everyone and tell them we found him?” John asked Angelica.

“Of course.” She nodded.

John led Alex to the bathroom, the water was still running, so he found some flashlights and some candles and lit up the bathroom as best he could. He got the water running nice and warm, almost hot, but not enough to hurt Alex. Then John stripped Alex of his wet clothes. Alex didn’t even seem to notice what John was doing until John was removing his prosthetic, and it didn’t register until the leg and the sleeve were off.

“My leg,” Alex whispered. “What happened?” He asked, touching the bottom of the stump.

“The war, baby, in Iraq? Remember?” John told Alex gently.

Alex obviously thought about it very hard for a moment, before nodding ever so slightly then going silent once more.

John then helped Alex get into the tub. “I’ll be right back, okay? You’re safe, just warm up for a little while, yeah?”

Alex just nodded a bit.

John left the bathroom and went into Alex’s bedroom. He began to strip his wet clothes off finally and began changing, not caring when Angelica came into the room while he had nothing but wet boxers left on.

“What’s going on with him exactly?” Angelica asked, turning around so that John had privacy while changing.

“Well, I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist but I think he’s stuck in the hurricane. It’s really weird, like, he knows me, and I’m pretty sure he recognized you, and he knew how to walk with his prosthetic, but he didn’t seem to remember losing his leg, or where he was or what year it is. It can happen with flashbacks sometimes. Your mind is just, convinced you’re right back where the danger was. You can remember some details of your life now, but other things just, aren’t there.” John explained to Angelica as he continued changing.

Angelica nodded. “What do we do? What can we do for him?”

“Well right now I’m just trying to warm him back up. He took shelter in a doorway so he was protected on three sides but the wind kept changing direction and he was getting poured on. God I hope he doesn’t get sick.” John shook his head. “Did you get the chance to call everyone?” He asked.

Angelica nodded. “I called Hercules first because he was still driving around looking. Then Maria, texted Eliza because she’s at work, and Washington, and I shot Lafayette a text as well.” She told him.

“Perfect. Thanks Angie.”

“No problem.” Angelica told John.

“Oh, and would you mind putting this in rice? It doesn’t want to turn on but I have hope yet. The rice is in the lower cabinet beside the fridge.” John told Angelica, handing her Alex’s phone. He was surprised that Alex's phone could be so damaged despite not being submerged in water.

“Sure thing John.” Angelica nodded and took Alex’s phone from John then disappeared from the room.

John finished changing then went back into the bathroom. “Hi.” He said softly to Alex.

Alex looked over, and flinched suddenly as a large thunder clap rattled the entire building.

“It’s okay, we’re safe.” John reassured Alex. “Are you warming up at all dear?”

Alex nodded a bit.

“That’s good.” John smiled softly.

Soon John helped Alex out of the tub, dried him off, and put him in clean, warm, comfortable clothes.

Alex stayed on edge for the next hour as the storm raged on outside. Eventually, the rain began to lighten up, and Alex began to look tired.

“Hey, you ready for bed Alex?” John asked softly.

Alex nodded.

John got Alex settled in bed, tucking him in and everything. He kissed Alex’s head. “I love you, so much.” He whispered.

Alex looked at him and was quiet for a moment. “Love you too.” He mumbled before letting his eyes fall shut.

Once Alex fell asleep and the rain lightened up a little more Angelica left.

John was beginning to drift off to sleep when he was startled back into full alert-ness by Alex’s shouts next to him in bed.

John quickly realized it was a nightmare. “Alexander,” He shook Alex to wake him up.

Alex woke up crying after a moment or two. “J- John?” He whispered.

“Right here baby.” John said reassuringly.

“What happened? The last thing I remember was, realizing I had at the very least walked further than Greenwich Village.” Alex asked John, not seeming to remember anything that happened while he was in his panicked state.

“Darling I found you all the way up in Harlem. You were soaking wet from the rain and in a strange state. You were panicked and I think having some PTSD flashbacks, you didn’t know where you were or the year and no matter what I couldn’t get you back.” John explained.

Alex nodded a bit.

“Baby how did you end up all the way in Harlem?” John asked quietly as he gently pushed some hair out of Alex’s face.

“I walked.” Alex mumbled.

“You walked from Tribeca to Harlem?” John spoke in a serious, yet disbelieving tone.

Alex nodded. “My stump is hurtin’ something fierce.” He told John.

“Is it from all the walking, or?” John asked as he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the tube of Capsaicin cream Alex kept there. He didn’t need to ask to know Alex would want it.

Alex nodded as he freed his stump from the sheets. “There are different prosthetics better for walking that long and far, or if I walked that much every day it would be different.” He explained.

“Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten in some time.” John asked as he began working the cream into Alex’s stump for him.

Alex was surprised, thinking John was just gonna hand him the tube, but smiled a tiny bit. “Not really, I don’t feel too good. Just wanna sleep.” He admitted.

“Alright how about we compromise here? You drink some water for me, and then you can sleep.” John suggested.

Alex nodded.

John finished working the cream into Alex’s stump, then went and got a glass of water, as well as some Advil. “Between this and the Capsaicin I hope you’ll be alright.” He told Alex.

Alex nodded again. He took the Advil and drank about half the water, before falling right back asleep.

John eventually fell asleep too, next to Alexander. He was happy Alex was safe and okay for the most part, even if he still had a lot of questions for Alex. Alex was safe at home and warm in his bed, and that’s what really mattered to John.

Feeling so good about things last night only made it feel so much worse when John was awoken the next morning by Alex coughing and hacking away, wheezing to get air in, but unable to- unable to stop coughing if it could cure cancer.

John made quick work of rubbing Alex’s back and helping him through the coughing fit.

After a couple of minutes the fit subsided. “Fuck that hurt.” Alex mumbled.

“I can only imagine. I’ll go make you some tea, alright? Just, say here and rest.”

Alex nodded a bit. “You really are the best boyfriend a guy could ask for.” He smiled a bit.

John just smiled back at Alex and went to make him tea. He soon returned with a mug of tea, made just the way Alex liked it. When he handed it to Alex his fingers brushed against Alex’s and John realized they were quite cold. John frowned and put a hand to Alex’s forehead. Alex’s forehead, and cheeks John soon found out, were quite cold.

“Alex dear do you feel cold?” John asked curiously.

Alex nodded a bit. “Yeah I do actually.”

John just nodded and disappeared, soon returning to Alex’s room with an extra blanket which he draped over Alex’s shoulders.

John didn’t show it, but he was concerned and sad for Alex. On top of being suspended from work, having an absolutely shit day yesterday, and the fact that he would probably be too sore to wear his prosthetic today, now he was getting sick too. It was, to put it simply, the last possible thing Alex could possibly need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These poor boys just can't catch a break...


	29. Laurens Likes You A Lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Illness, Mentions of storms, mention of war

John sighed as he left Alex to sleep, despite it being the middle of the day. Alex had gotten sick from the combination of being caught in the rain and all the stress he was feeling from work.

It had been a couple days since the storm and John hadn’t left Alex’s apartment other than to meet a food-delivery guy or take the trash out. He was worried that if he left the apartment that would be the moment Alex would have another bad coughing fit and no one would be there to help him through it.

Alex had a fever, was dealing with the terrible coughing fits, as well as nausea and chills. He was extremely fatigued, and dealing with lots of body aches and pains.

John set the barely touched chicken noodle soup he’d made for Alex on the counter and sighed. Then the apartment buzzer buzzed loudly, alerting John that the doorman had something to say. John walked over to the little buzzer panel.

“Hello Bernard.” John sounded tired. He’d been staying up, watching Alex sleep in case of coughing fits, and everytime he did fall asleep it never lasted long because  _ that’s _ when Alex would need him. John’s hair was up in a messy bun to keep it out of the way, and to try and make up for the fact that he hadn’t found time to shower in a while. He had bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep and had admittedly fallen behind on taking care of himself, but he figured Alex was far more important and that he could do self-care when Alex was better.

“Hello Mr Laurens. I take it Mr Hamilton is still under the weather?” Bernard asked.

“Yes, unfortunately. What have you got for us?” John hadn’t ordered any food and neither him nor Alex were expecting a package or delivery.

“A Miss Elizabeth Schuyler would like to come see you. Shall I send her up or ask her to leave?”

John smiled a bit at the thought that Eliza had come. “Send her up right away Bernard, thank you.”

“Of course Mr Laurens.” Bernard said and the sort of ‘call’ ended.

Soon there was a knock on the apartment door. John walked over and pulled it open.

“Jesus Christ John, you look like hell, are you getting sick too?” Eliza asked as she came inside. She immediately put the back of her hand against John’s forehead to feel for a fever.

“No, Alex got sick from stress and being in the rain, it’s not contagious.” John explained.

She nodded a bit and pulled her hand away, frowning a bit. “When did you last shower? Or get a solid 3 hours sleep?” She asked, gently cupping his cheek, a look of concern on her face.

“I’m fine, ‘Liza, just trying to make sure Alex is too.” John told her, his voice sounded tired as he said it.

“John, your health is just as important as Alex’s. I understand what you're doing for him and that’s lovely but you need to help yourself too. If you burnout- which you’re on track to do- you won’t be able to help him. Go take a shower, I’m gonna clean up a little and I’ll keep an ear out for Alex. I take it he’s sleeping?” Eliza instructed.

John nodded. “He’s having really bad coughing fits, like, unable to get air, unable to stop coughing if it could end world hunger, type coughing fits. I’ve found that rubbing his back with a firm hand helps as well as just talking him through it, reminding him that like, it’s okay. Not that different as when you were in labor with Pip.” He explained to Eliza.

Eliza nodded a bit. “How frequent are the coughing fits?” She asked as she set her bag down and tied her hair up so it wouldn’t get in her way as she cleaned up around Alex’s apartment.

“Usually one every hour or two? He coughs more in between, but the big fits are the issue.” John explained. “You really don’t have to do this I mean, just being here is more than enough help. You’ve taken time out of your day off to come here-” John started.

“It’s fine.” Eliza insisted. “Philip is on a playdate and Maria is at work. I did all the errands and cleaning I could at our house already. I want to help you here.” She explained as she began loading dishes into the dishwasher. “I’ve got Alex. Go clean yourself up. Have you eaten?”

“Don’t worry about me, Liza, just, watch over him please.” John smiled softly and went to go shower. His answer said it all.

Eliza sighed a bit and worked on cleaning up the kitchen, which by John’s standards, was a little messy. By Alex’s though, it was a complete disaster. She just finished loading up the dishwasher and getting rid of all the trash from the take-out food John had been eating the last couple of days when she heard coughing coming from Alex’s room. She went in and sat next to him, firmly rubbing his back as he coughed harshly.

“John-” He managed to get out between coughs.

“John’s in the shower, it’s Eliza,” She rubbed his back as he continued to cough. “You’re okay.” She reassured him.

Eventually the coughing fit passed and Alex laid back down in bed, exhausted because the fit had taken any energy he had.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Eliza asked gently as she fixed the blanket which had fallen off him.

“He won’t sleep. He’s worried about me. He’s acting like, me before I joined up, when I was in college.” Alex mumbled.

“How so?” Eliza asked, a little confused.

“I barely slept, ever, always busy working or trying to finish an assignment or study. I would stay up for days, sometimes weeks at a time.” Alex explained. “I’d forget to eat and even shower at times unless someone said something.” Alex admitted.

Eliza nodded a bit. “I think he’s using his insomnia again.” She sighed and shook her head.

Alex looked at her curiously.

“Well, before he even got diagnosed with anything, I knew he was struggling with insomnia. Usually in med school he could sleep if he knocked back like, I forget how much melatonin. Waaay more than the recommended dose.” Eliza explained.

Alex nodded a bit.

“But whenever finals would creep up, he would just, not take melatonin. Instead he’d drink a bunch of coffee and energy drinks too but the main thing was letting the insomnia do it’s thing.” She continued her explanation. “Do you know if he’s been taking his sleep medication?”

Alex shook his head a bit. “I’m not sure. I’ve been sleeping most of the day for the past couple days. Usually when I’m sick I just, work through it, but these coughing fits take so much out of me.” He admitted.

“Have you been to see a doctor since you got sick?” Eliza asked.

“I’ve got a doctor right across the hall in my shower.” Alex told her.

“Well, yes, but if you went out to the doctor you could get tested to see what this is. Maybe there’s medication that could help with the coughing fits, you could need antibiotics or hell probably an inhaler.” She pointed out. “John can write prescriptions but he can’t write one if he doesn’t know what to write it for.”

Alex shrugged a bit. “I don’t really like doctors offices, or hospitals.” He admitted to Eliza, glancing over at his prosthetic leg, which was resting against the bedside table.

“Right.” Eliza nodded to herself, quickly understanding why. “John really cares about you, you know that?”

Alex nodded a bit. “Yeah. I’m pretty lucky that way.”

“He never stopped loving you; when you weren’t around, I mean. He never dated anyone else. Years after you disappeared I would still get phone calls from him, in the middle of the night, saying how much he missed you. You mean a lot to him.” Eliza explained to Alex.

“I didn’t date much after Iraq either.” Alex admitted, then fell silent.

Eliza was quiet too for a while, not sure what to say to Alex. “You know my wife really seems to like you.” She admitted.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

Eliza nodded. “Definitely, I mean, you’re a nice guy, you’re good with Philip, you came up with that plan to get more funding for social workers, I mean, like, if you and John weren’t together I’d be concerned you’re after her heart.” Eliza joked.

“Don’t worry, I’m not out to steal your girl. Bro-code rule #76.” Alex chuckled a bit and began coughing again as a result.

When the coughing fit subsided Eliza handed him a glass of water with a straw that had been sitting on the bedside table. “Drink, all that coughing must be hard on your throat.” Eliza’s tone made it clear that he really had no choice in the matter.

Alex nodded a bit and drank some of the water. “What day is it today?” He asked curiously.

“Tuesday, the storm was Friday night.” Eliza informed him as she took the glass and set it back on the table.

Alex nodded a bit. “John keeps trying to feed me.” He told her.

“Well it is important for you to eat. The reason why the coughing fits are taking so much out of you is because your body has no fuel left to run off of.”

“I know. I know he means well. He’s been trying different soups and stuff but really I just want like, a popsicle or a slushie or something. Something cold on my throat. Most warm things just make it feel worse.” Alex admitted.

“I think that can be arranged.” Eliza smiled softly.

Alex smiled back.

Soon John came into the bedroom, dressed with his hair still wrapped up in a towel. “Hey.” He smiled softly at Alex. “How ya feeling?” He brushed some hair out of Alex’s face and cupped his cheek affectionately.

“Eliza ordered us slurpees.” Alex informed him.

“Slurpees?” John seemed confused. “Why?”

“Because he doesn’t want soup, John, but he does want something cold on his throat. You’re a surgeon, you deal with intubating and extubating people all day long. One would think that you would realize that after severe throat irritation such as this sometimes hot foods are hard to handle.” Eliza told John, coming back into the bedroom.

“Shit, I, I didn’t even think of that, I’m so sorry.” John quickly apologized to his boyfriend.

“It’s okay.” Alex reassured.

John nodded a bit.

Eliza stayed for a while longer. John got a nap in as Alex talked with her more and drank the slurpee she had ordered for him off of Uber-eats.

John woke up after sleeping for an hour or two and came out to the living room where Alex and Eliza were talking. He came over to Alex and kissed his forehead, offering him a small smile.

“Alright, I’m gonna head home now, John. A piece of advice? Sleep when Alex does, alright? Alex, promise to wake John up if you need something so he’ll actually sleep.” Eliza instructed the two of them as she gathered her purse.

“I promise.” Alex told her.

“Good. I’ll see you two later. Feel better soon, Alex. Oh and John, send the Chief a proper email and tell her what’s going on? You can’t just keep texting her ‘Can’t come in today’ with no explanation, you’re gonna lose your job if you keep it up.” Eliza added.

John nodded. “Yeah okay. I will.”

Eliza kissed John’s head and left.

“She’s bossy, but in a nice like, caring way. Like, she’s bossing you around out of love, not rudeness. Ya know?” Alex commented.

“Yeah she is.” John nodded, smiling a bit. “When we were teenagers we actually made this pact that even though we’re both literally as straight as circles; if neither of us got married by the time she was 30- because she’s younger- then we would marry each other so we wouldn’t die alone plus like, for the tax benefits and stuff.” John told Alex.

Alex chuckled a bit. “That sounds like the two of you.” He paused. “Cuddle with me?” He asked after a moment.

“Of course dear.” John smiled and laid down next to Alex. He pulled him close and kept him there, safe in his arms. Part of him wanted Alex to stay here forever so John would always know he was safe.

“The other night, the storm, we uh, we said some stuff.” Alex mumbled. “Did you mean what you said?”

John was confused for a moment, then remembered; their use of the L-word. He was surprised that Alex remembered that, but not upset about it. He nodded in response. “Yeah, I did.”

“Good, because I meant that too.” Alex said softly, looking up at his boyfriend.

“I’m glad.” John kissed his head.

“John?” Alex asked.

“Yes baby?” John tucked some hair behind Alex’s ear, pushing it out of his face.

“Sing to me?” Alex requested gently.

“Sing?” John seemed surprised by the request.

Alex nodded.

“What song?” John asked.

“Anything.” Alex told him. “Just wanna hear you sing.”

John thought for a moment before starting. “When your legs don’t work like they used to before, and I can’t sweep you off of your feet,” John began singing, his voice soothing and sweet.

Alex let out a small content sigh as he let John’s voice calm him. He snuggled up closer to John as John continued to sing Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran to him.

“Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks? And darling, I will, be loving you ‘til we’re 70, and baby my heart, could still fall as hard at 23, and I’m thinking ‘bout how, people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand, and me I fall in love with you every single day, and I just wanna tell you I am,” John continued singing the song, not even realizing how well it fit their story until each line rolled off his tongue. It amazed him.

John loved Alex before and after Alex lost his leg, and while he could still carry Alex he knew he would still love Alex long after he couldn’t. They met and fell in love when John was 23, and falling in love in an active warzone sure seemed to fit under the category of ‘mysterious ways’. And most importantly he fell more and more in love with Alex every single day, and wanted Alex- hell he wanted the entire world to know it.

Alex fell asleep fairly quickly, feeling content and safe, with the sound of John’s smooth voice lulling him to sleep.

John continued singing after Alex fell asleep, finishing the song. He kissed Alex’s head and pulled the blanket over him. He got up and got himself a drink of water, before coming back to bed, curling up next to Alex and letting himself sleep too- taking Eliza’s advice. He too fell asleep feeling content, as well as feeling one hundred percent absolutely in love with the man laying next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza really said "I'm ur mom now" and "fuck your soup John" huh


	30. In The Eye Of A Hurricane There Is Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Illness, talk of death, talk of injury, talk of hospitals, mention of depression and suicidal thoughts

A couple days later, on Friday, Alex’s fever finally broke, the coughing fits came less frequently and less harsh, he was able to keep down solid foods and he was regaining strength. He was awake during the day more and sleeping through the night better.

“I’m really glad you’re finally feeling better.” John smiled at Alex, looking up from the vegetables he was cutting up.

Alex nodded a bit. “Yeah, that was pretty rough for a while. But on the plus side: at this point, I don’t think I can die.” He told John as he watched John’s movements from his spot at the breakfast bar in his kitchen.

John gave a confused look as he added the vegetables to a pan of almost completely cooked chicken.

“Well I got crazy sick as a child with what my mom did, and lived through that. I survived a hurricane that most people drowned in, I got blown up resulting in losing a leg and generally getting fucked up seven ways to Sunday. I survived through like, months of depression and suicidal thoughts, and yeah. Nothing’s taken me out yet so I don’t think anything can.”

John nodded a bit. “Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say you’re immortal.” John chuckled as he stirred a pot of rice as it cooked.

Alex hummed a bit in agreement. “You gonna go to work tomorrow?” He asked curiously. He felt bad that John was missing so much work because of him.

“Will you be okay by yourself if I do go?” John asked.

“Totally, and if I’m not I promise I’ll call someone.” Alex promised John as he traced shapes into the counter.

“Okay, yeah I’ll go to work.” John nodded in agreement.

“Good, you’ve already missed like, a week's worth of work because of me, I don’t want you to have to miss anymore.”

“That’s the odd thing about being a trauma surgeon; you can disappear for a week and not have a mountain of paperwork or whatever to catch up on. I kinda just gotta, wait around all day and hope that someone gets hurt or another surgeon needs an assist.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I don’t think I could do a job like that.” He admitted. “I like routines and schedules far too much.”

“I know you do, you’d hate trauma surgery. It’s messy and disorganized and completely uncalled for.” John told Alex.

“Yeah, definitely not my cup of tea. I don’t know how I joined the army.” He shook his head a bit.

“You know, I remember when I was an intern, I was working on Christmas eve, because I was at the bottom of the food chain, they gotta have someone there while all the attendings are at home with their families, right?” John started telling a story as he continued to cook.

Alex nodded.

“Anyway, it was a long day of mostly like, stitching kitchen-related cuts from people preparing food, the odd burn, nothing much but that shit gets boring, especially when you’ve been at it for like, 18 hours. Anyway, it’s 6am Christmas morning and I’m getting ready to go home finally so I can sleep for like 3 hours then go to the Schuyler’s for Christmas celebrations when this nurse comes rushing into the intern locker room and says that there was a bus crash and it was all hands on deck, including me. It didn’t matter that I had worked 18 hours or that it was Christmas day or that I had plans or that I was beyond ready to sleep. Trauma just happens whenever it feels like it, whether you want it to or not.”

Alex nodded. “Why did you choose trauma surgery? I mean, there’s like, how many other specialties you could’ve gone into? What made you choose trauma over everything else?”

“The thrill of it, something new all the time. I didn’t wanna settle for one specific specialty, I didn’t wanna spend my whole career working on just the brain spending most of my days clipping aneurysms or removing tumors. I liked the variety. I was thinking about pediatric surgery for that reason, peds surgeons work on all parts of the body doing all the specialties but in a smaller body which is like an extra challenge. I was about to settle on peds, then the hospital hired this kick ass trauma surgeon- who happened to be another veteran like me. I took a liking to him and he took a liking to me too.” John began to explain, stopping for a second before continuing.

“I was torn for a while on what specialty to choose. I mean, trauma was cool but it was so unpredictable and peds still seemed like a good place to be. Then one busy night in the ER, this guy comes in, bad car accident, all the other surgeons in the ER just kinda, took one look at him and thought he wasn’t gonna live the next hour. But this new trauma guy had been a surgeon in the army, and had seen guys in worse shape overseas and had saved them with less equipment than what we had access to. He grabbed me and some other residents and a couple other attendings, and we got to work, and the guy lived, and it was then that I knew trauma was my specialty. I wanted to be able to look at a patient who everyone else thought was hopeless and not be afraid to get to work and try everything to keep them alive, even if it failed.” John finished explaining, he sounded so excited and almost, enchanted by the memory as he spoke. “I’ve been talking for a really long time.” John realized. “Sorry.” He apologized.

“I don’t mind, not in the slightest, I love it when you get passionate about your work.” Alex reassured John, smiling at him.

“Well for years work was all I had I guess.” John shrugged as he said it.

“You had all our friends, did you not?” Alex pointed out.

“At the time everyone was kinda focused on their own shit. When I was in my residency Lafayette was off in France, married to Adrienne still. Hercules and Liz were getting ready for Mary, Eliza and Maria were seriously talking about starting a family, and Angelica was off in California. It felt like it was just me for a while.” John admitted.

Alex nodded. “That makes sense.”

John soon handed Alex a bowl of chicken stir fry with white rice, before getting a bowl for himself and sitting next to Alex at the breakfast bar smiling at him.

As the two began eating Alex’s phone rang, Alex checked to see who it was; it was Washington. He quickly dropped his fork and swallowed the food in his mouth then answered. “Hello?”

“Alexander, how are you?” George asked over the phone.

“Uh, fine, what do you need sir?” Alex asked.

“I wanted to call you and give you an update on the investigation. I hadn’t heard from you about it so I went ahead and got an investigator myself to work the case.” George explained.

“And? Is the investigation over? Can I return to work?” Alex asked quickly, growing excited.

“The investigation is over, yes, how-” George started.

“Great! Do you need me to come in now?” Alex asked, cutting Washington off.

“Slow down there son, I haven’t even sent the results of the investigation to the members of city council yet. Not to mention that I heard you’ve been quite unwell.” George stopped Alex.

“I’m fine, sir, I just need to get back to work.” Alex told Washington.

George was quiet for a moment. “I take it John has been caring for you?” George asked.

Alex looked over at John and smiled a bit. “Yeah he has.”

“If John gives the okay to me, then you can return to work on Monday, but I do not want you coming to work if you’re ill. Your health is far more important than a budget.” George told Alex, knowing that he was better off taking John’s word on Alex’s health than Alex’s, because Alex was the type to say he was fine when he truly wasn’t.

“Sir, I hardly think the health of one man is more important than a budget that will affect like 8.4 million people.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“John gives the okay or you don’t return, and that’s final, Alexander.” George put his foot down.

“Fine.” Alex knew he couldn’t fight George on this.

“Good. I look forward to your return to work. Have a good day, and feel better.” George told Alex.

“Bye.” Alex ended the call.

“What was that?” John asked curiously.

“Investigation’s over, if you tell Washington I’m good to work then on Monday I can go back.” Alex explained and took another bite of his lunch.

John nodded. “We’ll assess that on Sunday night, right now my answer would be no work, but you’re getting better everyday.” John told Alex.

“Okay.” Alex agreed and turned his full attention back to his food. 

Throughout the weekend Alex got better and better, so Sunday evening John called George and gave Alex the ‘Okay’ to work.

“God I can’t wait to be at work. I can’t wait to look Jefferson and Madison in their smug faces and just grin at them because I’m still working in the mayor’s office and will be no matter what they try to throw at me.” Alex grinned at John as they got ready for bed. He had been talking about going back to work for nearly an hour, and John just listened and smiled at him as he did so.

John smiled back. “As long as you don’t commit crimes against them.” He teased.

Alex smiled more and climbed into bed next to John.

The next morning Alex woke up to find John not in bed with him, but the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of breakfast being made by John could be heard. Alex smiled to himself and relished in the moment; when John was cooking and no one was in the room he would play the radio and sing along to whatever song came on, and it made Alex smile every time. He got out of bed and began getting ready for work, soon joining John in the kitchen.

Alex wrapped his arms around John and hugged him from behind. “Good morning.” He smiled.

“Morning Alex. Ready to go back to work today?” John asked as he managed to perfectly flip the omelet he was making.

“So ready.” Alex grinned.

“Good. I’m working late tonight so I’ll probably just head home afterwards if that’s okay.” John informed Alex.

“Of course it is. You’ve been living here for the past, like, week. You’re allowed to go home and sleep in your own bed.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Trying to get rid of me Alex?” John teased.

“Never.” Alex smiled a bit. He kissed John’s cheek then went and began to pour coffee for himself and John.

“Good.” John chuckled a bit. “Try and get out of work early today okay? You need to go grocery shopping. I know you like to do it on Saturday but just, pick up a couple items to tide you over until then, okay? You’ve got next to nothing in your fridge.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I can take care of myself. I’m 37 years old John.”

“Just, trying to make sure. Do you have time to sit and eat your breakfast here or should I put it in Tupperware to eat at work?” John asked.

“I’d like to get there early because of how much I missed- would you mind tossing it in a container for me to take?” Alex asked as he handed John a mug of coffee and took a sip from his travel mug.

“Not at all.” John reassured. He put the omelet and a piece of toast in a Tupperware container, put the lid on it and set an apple on top. “Now I didn’t have lunch-food materials because of the severe lack of groceries, so I’ll have something sent to your office for you okay?” John told him.

“It’s fine John, I can get my own lunch.” Alex loved John taking care of him, but he did know how to be completely independent, after all he did it for most of his life from the time he was 12.

“I just don’t want you forgetting, Alex, we both know you’re gonna have a lot to catch up on and I don’t want you to go hungry.” John explained his actions.

“I’ll be fine. If you’re really worried just like, send me a text at lunch time and remind me to get myself food.” Alex suggested.

“Fine.” John huffed as he took a bite of his own omelet. He was standing in the kitchen, not bothering to take a seat. Alex had a theory that John preferred standing due to his work and his military service perhaps too. If you’re sitting, you have to take time to get up, but if you’re standing you’re already on your feet, ready to run at the drop of a hat.

Alex took his breakfast and put it in his bag. He grabbed his coffee and kissed John’s cheek. “I love you.”

“Love you too babe, have a good day at work.” John smiled.

“You too dear, try not to kill anyone yeah?” Alex teased.

John rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know I’m on a roll. Haven’t lost a single patient in about 3 months, since, like, Washington’s barbecue.” John told him.

“Really?” Alex asked, surprised to hear it.

John nodded. “I think you might have something to do with it. Like, you’re a good luck charm.” John explained, then stole a quick kiss of Alex’s lips.

Alex smiled. “Well I’m glad to be of service. Have a good day.” He then left the apartment and headed to work.

John finished eating his breakfast, then texted Alex a quick grocery list, before showering and then heading to work. He was pleased to see Eliza was there, sitting at the nurses desk, seeming to be working on the latest nurses schedule.

“Hey.” John smiled.

Eliza looked up. “Hi. I wish I could’ve taken a schedule writing class in college. Maybe this would be easier.” She sighed a bit.

“Having a tough time?” John chuckled.

“I do know what I’m doing. I think I’ve just been trying at it for too long. I’m struggling because with Margo on maternity leave we’re short a nurse and haven’t gotten a temporary replacement yet, and Emma booked a vacation for the week I’m trying to write, and Lindsey is only taking evening and night shifts right now because school is out and she can’t afford daycare for her kids and I’m still working with an hour budget smaller than what Philip can count to and ugh.” Eliza sighed. “You would think they would at least give me more hours to work with to accommodate everything and everyone but nooo, why would they do something crazy like that.” She shook her head. “Sorry to just rant like that, I just, I needed to get it out of my system.”

“It’s alright. Lemme see for a moment?” John asked as he came around the desk and looked at the schedule for a moment.

“I’m just struggling with Friday night. Everyone is at their max hours or is scheduled for earlier in the day and I’m short two nurses.” Eliza explained.

John looked at it. “Did Emma book the whole week off?” He asked.

“She left Sunday to be scheduled but she said she would leave for her camping trip that day if she doesn’t work.” Eliza explained.

“Well how about you give her Samantha’s Sunday morning shift so she still gets half the day off and put Samantha in for Friday night, then give Lindsey two 6 hours shifts instead of one 12 hour shift and have her come in for the predicted 6 busiest hours of the night Friday evening?” John suggested.

Eliza bit her lip. “I suppose that could work. I mean, they might not like it but that’s what they get for giving me nothing to work with.”

“Exactly.” John grinned at her.

Eliza smiled at him. “Thanks John. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Tell that to Alex, he won’t let me send him lunch. He’s gonna starve.” John didn’t actually pout, but he may as well have.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine John.”

“I know, I know, I just wish that he would still let me help him now that he’s feeling better.”

“You do lots to help him. It just looks different for both of you. You see helping him as one thing, and yet something you think is routine is a lifesaver for him.” Eliza explained.

“You think so?”

“Yes. You do lots to help him, even if you don’t realize it, and I know for a fact that he loves you for it. You guys are like, the perfect couple.” Eliza smiled at John.

John smiled back. “Thanks Liza.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends Act 1


	31. Wait For It, Wait-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the second act of this story begins.
> 
> TW: Mentions of surgery/hospitals, mention of blood

As Alex arrived at work, coffee in one hand and briefcase in the other, he had a large smile on his face. He met with Washington, who welcomed him back to work and caught him up on what he’d missed. Alex started working and about an hour later he found himself in the break room getting himself a coffee refill. He smirked when he saw that Madison and Jefferson were in the break room refilling their own coffees.

“Good morning gentlemen, how’s the plotting against me going?” Alex asked as he came up behind them, clapping Jefferson on the shoulder as he said it.

Jefferson jumped and nearly dropped the coffee pot he was holding. He turned around and saw Alexander. Upon seeing Alex, Jefferson’s face more closely resembled someone who was seeing a ghost than a coworker.

“Mind passing the coffee pot buddy? Got a lotta work to do seeing as you basically got me kicked out of work for a week.” Alex could be acting like a total dick, but acting pleasant and nice seemed to be freaking Jefferson out more.

“Hi- uh- ha- here.” Jefferson handed over the pot of coffee.

“Thanks.” Alex grinned. He poured his coffee and handed the pot back to Jefferson. “Later homies.” He told Jefferson and Madison and left the break room, barely containing his laughter at the looks on their faces. This served them right, that was for sure.

The next two months went by smoothly, Alex was happily back at work without much trouble or anything really from Madison and Jefferson, though they did act somewhat skittish around him- probably still scared of getting slapped with character defamation or defamatory libel charges. Alex wasn’t going to do such things, but letting Jefferson and Madison fear it certainly was fun.

During that two month period the taxes had been raised and Alex’s plan to fund social-workers was so far going well. There was a bit of public outcry due to the tax raise at first, but another article in the Times fixed most of it. 

Alex and John’s relationship was thriving too. They almost always spent the night with each other, swapping houses for whatever was more convenient for them both each night. They were happy and content with each other. They had adapted to each other’s patterns and were completely happy. John came to like setting time aside each week to do things like grocery shopping and Alex was coming to find that leaving a mug from tea out overnight wasn’t a big deal. Their friends teased that they acted like they were married, they were so close and so in-sync with each other. 

Lafayette had come and spent the rest of the summer in NYC, apologizing for missing most of June, though everyone was just happy that he was there for July and August like he had been. Unfortunately though he had traveled back to DC two weeks ago at the start of September. 

However what was perhaps the coolest thing of all to have happened over the last 2 months was that John still had yet to lose a patient, which was really quite impressive for a trauma surgeon.

Alex was at work, working on the latest updates to the budget and ensuring funds were getting sent to the right places, smiling as he got to send extra money towards social-worker-services. Once that finished he sat back in his chair, and realized he was on lunch now. John had promised that he would be bringing lunch by so he decided to wait, knowing John would be there soon. He knew he had some time so he decided to call Angelica. Angelica had been shadowing at ACLU, and was enjoying it, but her company didn’t want her to leave them, so she was working on sorting that out.

“Alexander! Hey! You called at the perfect time! I was actually about to call Eliza but I can share this news with you first.” Angelica told Alex upon answering the phone.

“I just called because John is running a couple minutes behind with lunch. What would this exciting news be?” Alex asked, leaning back in his chair and spinning around to look out the window, smiling upon seeing the sun shining into his office.

“I just got out of a meeting. I have officially left my job, and I start as a lawyer with ACLU on Monday!” Angelica told him excitedly.

Alex gasped a bit. “Angie! That’s great! What got them to finally let you quit?” Alex asked curiously, knowing they had been giving her a hard time. Originally the company she just left had been chill about it, but only because they didn’t expect her to actually leave them, thinking she was shallow enough to not want to take the pay cut she would face by moving to ACLU. Clearly they didn’t know her very well.

“They actually called me in to offer a salary increase. I told them I didn’t want a salary increase. I told them that I wanted to work with ACLU and if they didn’t break the contract I signed with them to let me leave, I would expose all their dirty laundry. Every lawsuit that I helped them quietly settle without the press ever knowing. Let’s just say, it would’ve been a lot. They pulled the contract out and ripped it to shreds right there. I left the meeting and called the ACLU guy I’ve been talking with.” Angelica explained.

“That’s great, Angie, I’m happy for you. Also remind me to never get on your bad side.” Alex chuckled.

“Well first you would have to really fuck up to do that. I love all of y’all so much. But you’re right, you don’t want me mad at you. Eliza and Peggy have more than a few emotionally scarred ex’s to prove it.” Angelica chuckled as well.

“I don’t doubt that..”

“Can I get all like, serious and maybe a little sappy on you?” Angelica asked after a moment.

“Angelica? Sentimental? This has gotta be good.” Alex teased.

“Hardy-har Alex, very funny.” Angelica told Alex. Alex knew Angelica was rolling her eyes as she said it. “But seriously, Alex, if you had never suggested a career change to me, I would still be miserable, and doing a job I hate, and wondering what was wrong with me. I just, thank you, for recommending I change jobs, Alex. I’m gonna be starting at a job that will actually mean something to me and I just, I owe that all to you, so thank you, Alex.” Angelica told Alex sincerely.

“Of course, Angie. I’m just glad I could help. I didn’t doubt that you would do it and I’m glad you got this all sorted. I’m happy I could help. I mean, what are friends for, right?”

“Well, said, Alex. I’m glad you’re my friend.”

“And I am happy to be yours too Angelica.” Alex smiled into the phone. It wasn’t common for Angelica to express things like this, she was more jokes and sarcasm. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her friends, she simply had a very unique way of showing her love.

Then, suddenly, there was a knock on Alex’s office door.

“Oh, I think John’s here. I’m gonna let you go alright. Congrats again on the new job.” Alex told Angelica.

“Thanks Alex. Feel free to tell John about this if you want. Talk to you later.” Angelica said and hung up the phone.

“Come in!” Alex called out and looked up to see who it was because while he was expecting John, it could be someone else knowing his colleagues.

It was John. “Hey babe.” He said as he came into Alex’s office.

“You’re late.” Alex teased, smiling at him. “I was starting to get scared that your shift got bumped to earlier.”

“Nope. I actually got bumped 3pm instead of starting at 2pm. Someone called in sick, so they want me to starting a little bit later so I’m not overlapping with as many surgeons and can be there longer. I would never cancel on a lunch date without warning you first. Hell I’d probably send you food just in case.” John told him as he held up a bag of take out.

Alex smiled. “You’re too kind.” He told John. He pushed some papers on his desk aside to make room for them to eat. “Sorry my desk is so messy. I would’ve tidied but I ended up calling Angie instead, so.”

“All good.” John smiled and pulled out Alex’s food. “From that restaurant across the street from your place.” He set it on Alex’s desk. “How’s Angie?” He asked.

“You spoil me.” Alex said as he opened up the box, happy to see his favorite of their lunch dishes, a nice chicken sandwich with a side of fries. “And she’s really good. Finally got them to end her contract. She gets to start with ACLU on Monday.”

John smiled and pulled his own food out, a pasta dish with shrimp and tomatoes in a white wine sauce that he liked. “You deserve to be spoiled. And I’m happy for Angie. I think she’ll be really happy working with them, making an impact and all that.”

“Me too. I mean, I’m honestly surprised she didn’t try for something like that right from the start of her career.” Alex agreed.

“So how’s your work today coming so far?” John asked as he began eating.

“Pretty good. Just sent an extra 1.5 million to social worker services on top of the money that used to get sent.” Alex popped a fry in his mouth.

John smiled. “Maria said it’s already making a huge difference, with social workers now starting in many more schools they’re helping more kids and social workers don’t have to waste time going out to the same school multiple times a week to help kids.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Alex smiled. “So anything exciting at work coming up for you? I mean, I know none of your work is planned but, I dunno,” He shrugged. “Anything?”

“Yeah actually.” John told him. “Every now and then other surgeons will ask me to scrub in with them on surgeries when they need an extra set of attending hands right?”

“I guess so. I mean, one attending is probably a lot better than like, I dunno 3 residents or 5 interns or something like that, yeah?” Alex guessed.

“Exactly. One of the cardiothoracic surgeons at the hospital is asking me to scrub in on this experimental procedure she’s doing next week.” John began explaining.

“Cardiothoracic,” Alex paused. “Hearts guys, right?”

John nodded. “Hearts, and lungs.”

Alex nodded. “Okay, go on, tell me about this procedure.”

“Well it’s like, brand-new never done before. It’s the patient’s last chance. I’m still working on learning how exactly the procedure is gonna work but basically we’re 3D printing parts for her heart which we’re gonna use to replace the bits that aren’t working. A heart transplant would be the solution in most cases but the patient has a crazy rare blood type. It was hard enough finding someone who could donate blood for her to do a surgery, never mind, donate an organ.”

“Interesting.” Alex nodded a bit.

“Yeah. I mean, if it’s successful this thing could win awards and yeah I was super shocked when the surgeon asked me to work on this with her.” John told Alex.

“When did you find out about this?” Alex asked curiously.

“Just this morning actually, was when she asked me. Basically she chose me because she knows I’m a quick thinker and that I tend to think outside of the box too. She wants someone like that in the OR in case something goes wrong, plus she knows that I know my way around a chest cavity as well as any other cardio surgeon would anyway.”

“I’m really happy for you, that sounds really cool. I mean, if you’re 3D printing heart parts how long is it until we’re 3D printing a whole heart?”

“Exactly.” John grinned.

The two enjoyed their time together, they didn’t often eat lunch together, but it was always nice when they did.

“After work I’m gonna head to your place, alright?” Alex said.

John nodded. “Sure thing babe. Just don’t bother to wait up for me, okay? I won’t be home until about 3am or so, and that’s barring any emergent surgeries I end up in.”

“I know, I won’t.” Alex told him, even though he probably would wait up for John, seeing as it was Thursday and he didn’t have work the next day anyway.

“Good.” John said and they continued their lunch. 

Soon they finished and John was leaving. “I’ll see you later. Bye love.” John stole a quick kiss and left Alex’s office then headed to the hospital he worked at. He got to work, changed into his scrubs, and headed down to the ER where Eliza was at the nurse’s station, working at the computer.

“Hey ‘Liza.”

“Hi, how are you?” She smiled as she looked up from the computer.

“I’m good, I had lunch with Alex today so that was like, a major mood booster.” John told her.

“You two literally act more married than me and Maria sometimes.” Eliza pointed out.

“You don’t really think that, do you? We’ve only been together for like, 4 or 5 months.” John pointed out.

“Yeah but your relationship is far from normal, 5 months of pining in Iraq and then 15 years of missing him made everything like, 20 times more intense.” Eliza pointed out.

He shrugged. “Has the scheduling situation gotten better now that we’ve got some fresh blood in here?” John asked.

“Definitely. I mean, we’ve got those nurses in training in here now too with it being September now. Even though they’re in training they all seem competent enough, so it’s great, now.”

“That’s good. I know summer was really rough, so.” John told her. “So, what time are you off?”

“An hour, then I gotta get home to Pip.” Eliza told John.

John nodded. “How’s he liking school so far?”

“He loves it so much.” Eliza smiled a bit. “He’s made friends already, which is good.”

“No surprise there. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t love Philip.” John pointed out.

Eliza chuckled. “That’s true. I haven’t gotten the chance to meet his friends from school yet, but he seems to be really good friends with some girl named Theo. Says he’s gonna marry her someday. Oh and apparently he told his class he had two moms and made some kid cry because they only had one mom and wanted two.”

John chuckled too and smiled at Eliza. “He’s really lucky to have you and Maria as his moms you know.”

“Tell that to the fact that his teacher asked us to make up our minds about who picks him up each day.” Eliza shook her head. “And like, we’re being responsible about it, we always leave a note in his agenda to tell her who’s gonna pick him up and we were both there for his first day of school, pick up and drop off. You should’ve heard Maria go off on her for it.”

“That sucks, does she at least get it now?” John asked as he fiddled with a pen.

“Yeah. I just,” Eliza sighed. “I know there’s gonna end up being a day where neither of us can do it and she’s probably gonna lose it when that day comes.”

“Why don’t I just come with you on our next day off to drop Pip off or pick him up, and I can meet the teacher and that way if you and Maria ever need, I can grab him from school without her calling the cops.” John offered.

“You would do that for us?” Eliza asked, seeming happy yet also surprised.

“Of course I would. You know I’m always down to help you guys out with Philip. I mean, we both know how reliable Peggy is, no offense, and Angelica is almost always working later than Pip’s school goes. And how often is it that all you, me, and Maria are all working at the same time?” John explained to Eliza.

“True.” Eliza nodded. “I just know that nosy teacher is gonna ask if you’re Pip’s dad.” She admitted.

“If she does ask, we’ll politely tell her that that is none of her damn business as it does not affect Philip’s ability to learn and in no way should affect how she teaches him, which is what her only job here is.” John told Eliza.

“I don’t know what I would do without you, John. I really don’t.” Eliza told him with a smile on her face.


	32. I'm Doing Everything I can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite heavy I will warn you now. Please read the tags carefully.
> 
> TW: Hospitals, medical jargon, blood, injuries, hit and run incidents, surgery, death, death of a child, telling someone a loved one has passed (?), and alcohol

An hour later John said goodbye to Eliza between patients and she headed home. A couple more hours later, around 8:30 the phone rang, notifying the ER staff of an incoming trauma: a child had been hit by a vehicle at a nearby playground, and the child’s moms told dispatch the kid was in rough shape. John gowned and gloved up and met the ambulance as it pulled into the ambulance bay.

“What do we got?” John asked an EMT as the door of the ambulance opened up and he walked over to help unload and start working on the patient.

The EMT’s unloaded a stretcher, on it was a 5 or 6 year old boy, with obvious, extensive injuries. “Lucas Anderson, 5, hit and run incident. He was playing at the park when he ran away from his parents into the street. He’s unconscious but has been relatively stable, decreased breath sounds on the left but still breathing on his own, obvious head trauma, injuries to the abdomen, and open femur fracture. Moms said he lost consciousness immediately after being struck.” The EMT explained to John and the other doctors around him.

“Alright let’s get him to the Lodox and then we’ll take him to trauma room one and someone page neuro and ortho.” John said to the resident that was standing next to him as he helped roll the stretcher into the Lodox machine. The Lodox was a machine that could take a full body x-ray in about 20 seconds. They got the scan, then rolled the stretcher to the trauma room.

“Dr Laurens films are up.” One of the residents told him, putting the films over the scan lights, so John could read them he worked to assess the patient.

John looked at the various scans. “Let’s get him intubated and set up a chest tube, his left lung is definitely collapsed. He's got obvious rib fractures, a skull fracture, and that open femur fracture, someone paged neuro and ortho right? And someone get me a portable ultrasound, I’m worried about what internal injuries he may have.” John ordered, as he was the doctor in charge: running the trauma.

Soon two more doctors, the neurology surgeon, Dr Eng, and the orthopedic surgeon, Dr Finley came in. Dr Eng was a good surgeon, but was not exactly friendly, whereas Dr Finley was very enthusiastic about her work. John filled them in as he continued with the ultrasound. “There’s fluid in the abdomen, I wanna get him into the OR asap for an exploratory laparotomy, but first I assume you want a head CT Dr Eng?” John asked.

“Definitely.” Dr Eng agreed as he performed a neurological exam.

“I’d do an ex-fix but this kid is five, so that’s not a good option. I’m thinking I’ll put a rod in, I can do it in the OR while you work Dr Laurens.” Dr Finley told John and the residents who were in the room as she looked at the x-rays of the kid’s leg after assessing the injury herself.

“Alright let’s go for the head CT. Someone notify the OR floor that we’re on our way and tell them to prep for an exploratory laparotomy, and an intramedullary nailing, and to be ready for a neurological procedure as well. He’s five so we’ll need to try and work at the same time so he’s not under as long.” John explained.

A nurse came in as they were prepping Lucas to be taken to CT. “The boy’s moms are here, can someone come talk to them?” The nurse asked.

John looked at Dr Eng and Finley. “I’ll meet you two in CT.” He told his fellow surgeons. He pulled off his bloody gown and gloves then followed the nurse, who led him over to two ladies, whose clothes were bloody. They seemed frightened, and rightfully so.

“Hi, I’m Dr Laurens, I’m one of Lucas’ surgeons.” John introduced himself to the women.

“How is he?” One of the women asked.

“One of? As in there’s more?” The other asked.

“Yes, I’m a trauma surgeon, running your son’s trauma and I’ve asked a neurosurgeon and an orthopedic surgeon to assist me with Lucas’s case.” John explained.

The moms in front of John exchanged a fearful look.

“Unfortunately your son has suffered extensive injuries, we’ve intubated him and placed a chest tube. We discovered a skull fracture, and fluid in his belly. We’re taking him for a head CT and then we’ll be taking him up to surgery to repair his femur fracture, and to find and repair the cause of his abdominal injuries.” John explained to them.

“Oh, god, we, we turned our backs for one second and he just ran off. He, he knows not to run into traffic, we told him it’s not safe.” One of the mom’s told John with tears in her eyes. She sort of reminded John of Eliza. 

“Next thing we know this, this car comes out of nowhere, hits him, and just takes off, didn’t even stop.” The other mom told John.

“Things like this happen, no one is blaming you. Does Lucas have any medical disorders or is he on any medications we need to know about before surgery?” John asked.

“No, he’s a healthy kid. He, he, enjoys fruits and veggies. He has all his vaccinations. He’s never been in the hospital or even to the ER. He was completely fine, until-” The other mom spoke this time, and stopped herself. She was definitely the Maria in this relationship.

“Okay. Someone will show you where you can wait and we’ll update you as often as possible.” John promised them, then headed to CT where he re-met with the other doctors as they waited for the CT results.

“His moms turned their backs on him for a second.” John shook his head as he told his fellow surgeons. “One single second, and this happens.” John was almost angered by the situation.

“And the driver just took off?” Dr Finley asked.

“Hit and run.” John nodded. “His poor moms are absolutely terrified. Their healthy little boy who has never been to the hospital before now has a chest tube and needs surgery, I mean, that’s beyond terrifying.” He explained.

Dr Finley sighed. “Cases like these make me just wanna wrap my daughter in bubble wrap and never let her leave the house.” Finley shuddered a bit. “I love my job but sometimes I really hate it too.”

“Preach it Dr Finley.” John said in agreement. “This kid reminds me of my nephew Philip. His moms are my best friends. Both kids are five, both boys, both love to run, both have two moms, hell this kid’s moms remind me of my friends to be honest. It’s kinda freaking me out a little.” John admitted.

“Are you sure you should be working on this case Dr Laurens?” Dr Eng asked.

“I’m fine, just pointing out something I noticed I guess.” John brushed it off.

“I totally get it.” Dr Finley told John, giving a sympathetic look.

“Scans are up.” Dr Eng announced. “His brain is swelling and there’s a brain bleed. I need to get in there ASAP.”

Lucas was quickly taken to the OR and prepped, while John, Dr Eng, and Dr Finley scrubbed.

Soon they were operating on Lucas. After two hours Dr Finley finished putting in the rod to fix Lucas’s femur fracture and left the OR, promising to update Lucas’s moms and check back later. John had discovered the cause of the internal bleeding was Lucas’s spleen and despite attempts to save it, he was now working to remove it and was about half way done the 3-4 hour procedure.

Dr Eng sighed in frustration. “Dr Laurens, how much longer do you need to complete the splenectomy?”

“Probably about an hour, maybe two.” John told him.

“Is there any way you can hurry that up or finish your work at another time?” Dr Eng asked, looking at John.

John scoffed. “Are you serious? I’m half way through removing the kid’s spleen, I can’t exactly just hit the pause button, Dr Eng.” John was blown away by the question.

“The injuries are more extensive than I expected based on what the scans showed me Dr Laurens. Scans don’t always show the full picture, I think we both know that that’s just how things go sometimes. I need to change his position. I need him on his side, not his back.” Dr Eng explained.

“How urgently do you need to reposition Lucas?” John asked as he continued working.

“Now or we risk permanent brain damage. Do you think you could perhaps close his abdomen and work laparoscopically with him on his side?” Dr Eng suggested. “I know it’s not very orthodox but I really do need him on his side if I’m to repair this damage.”

“I wouldn’t  _ like _ to do that but I don’t have a choice do I?” John asked, already working to plan closing Lucas’s abdomen.

“If I can’t get him on his side soon it’ll be more than just damage we’d be risking. If I can’t get him moved soon he’ll be brain dead.” Dr Eng told him.

John nodded. “Give me like five minutes to tie everything off and close him up and then we can move him.” John said.

Soon, Lucas was on his side, Dr Eng was quickly working to fix the brain injuries while John cautiously worked, trying to take his time because the anatomy and where the camera and his tools were was different than normal with Lucas being on his side rather than his back.

After a while Dr Eng spoke again. “Dr Laurens I’m closing now but I’m going to stay and monitor him. If you need you can move him back onto his back once I finish but please keep in mind that he needs to get off this table and into the ICU soon.”

“Alright, I’m just about to,” John said as he was working on the actual removal of the organ. “Shit, shit shit shit.” He said as his view was disrupted by blood. “I’ve hit a blood vessel. The field is full of blood.” John announced. One of the tools was quickly removed in favor of suction and John worked to find the source of the bleed.

“Hang another unit of blood, Dr Eng can we put him back on his back? I might need to reopen him.” John explained.

“I’m almost done closing.” Dr Eng said, not looking up from his work as he seemed to quicken the pace at which he worked.

Lucas just kept bleeding and John couldn’t find the source because of the unusual circumstances. John was feeling the stress and urgency of the situation as Lucas’ blood pressure continued decrease rapidly.

Soon Lucas was back on his back with his stomach reopened but they couldn’t control the bleeding despite giving blood transfusions and before they knew it his blood pressure bottomed out and he was coding.

“Push more fluids and get me the crash cart!” John called out as he pulled the drapes over Lucas’ open abdomen and off of his chest so they could prepare to shock him with the defibrillator.

“Dr Laurens you cannot shock him, his brain is too unstable. He will bleed and swell more and I’ve already removed a very large piece of Lucas’s skull.” Dr Eng told him.

“We don’t know that for sure, Dr Eng. Either he’s dead dead and his brain intact or maybe has brain damage and hopefully not dead Dr Eng. I have to assume that his mothers would prefer a mentally delayed child than no child at all. I have to shock him. Charge the paddles to 150.” John defended his position.

“Dr Laurens I cannot recommend this.” Dr Eng pushed.

“Dr Eng, I cannot recommend telling this boy's mothers he’s dead!” John exclaimed. “I’m shocking him.” John said firmly as he took the paddles from a nurse as another nurse placed sticky pads on Lucas’ chest. “Clear!” John announced.

“Clear.” Everyone in the OR repeated back, including a somewhat reluctant Dr Eng.

John administered the shock, cringing as the boy's head jolted around as he was shocked. John could only hope that it would be worth it.

Lucas’ vitals didn’t improve and Dr Eng checked one of the neuro monitors as John began working to give CPR, as Lucas’ heart rhythm was no longer a shockable one. 

“His intracranial pressure just spiked.” Dr Eng checked Lucas’ eyes. “Pupil’s are fixed and one of them is blown.” He announced.

“No, we- we just need to get his heart restarted.” John said as he continued with CPR.

“Dr Laurens, this boy is brain dead and has lost too much blood. There is no saving him now. You need to call it.” Dr Eng told John firmly.

“No, I can’t give up that easily. His moms are already distraught enough. I can’t tell them that they’ve lost their son. There has to be something more we can do.” John continued working. He got to a shockable rhythm again and tried giving another shock but it yielded no results, and sent John back to doing CPR.

“Dr Laurens, call it.” Dr Eng said sternly. “This boy is gone. There is nothing more we can do for him.”

“Dammit.” John mumbled to himself, a tear escaping as he stopped CPR reluctantly. He looked at the clock. “Time of death, 23:16. Close him up nicely, please- don’t staple.” John instructed an intern to close Lucas’s abdomen without staples, meaning to nicely suture instead. John ripped his mask off his face and quickly left the OR.

John quickly removed his surgical gown, shoe covers and such. He ran into Dr Finley, and told Dr Finley what happened. Finley offered to come with John to tell Lucas’ moms, but John told her he’d take care of it himself, and that Dr Finley should go home to her daughter.

John entered the waiting area soon after running into Dr Finley. He walked over to Lucas’ moms with no expression on his face. “Mrs and Mrs Anderson, can I take you two somewhere more private?” He asked, he kept his tone steady and neutral as he spoke, something that had taken what felt like years to master and was an art that no one wanted to have to practice. The art of letting someone know their loved one was dead at your hands without showing any emotion of your own.

“W- why? Why not take us to see Lucas?” One of them asked, the one who reminded him of Maria.

“I really think it’s best we have this conversation in private.” John was, admittedly, struggling to keep it together himself, his years of practice at doing this were failing him.

“Oh my god.” The other woman, the one who reminded him of Eliza, gasped. “Oh god, you- you wanna take us somewhere else to tell us he didn’t make it. That’s why we’re not going to see him.” She choked out.

“Mrs Anderson I am so sorry.” John explained to them what happened. “Unfortunately there were many complications in surgery that Lucas could not have come back from. There was nothing more that myself or the other doctors on Lucas’ case could’ve done for your son. Your son, Lucas, died at 11:16 this evening. I am very sorry for your loss. The nurse here can take you to see him if you wish. I’m so sorry that I could not do more to save your son.”

As if John wasn’t barely holding it together already, one of Lucas’ moms, the one reminding him of Eliza, let out a gut wrenching scream and collapsed into her wife’s arms, sobbing.

The one who reminded him of Maria, held her wife and bowed her head, silent tears falling.

John struggled to keep it together as that scream and the sound of sobs made him want to cry. He left them and went and found the chief of surgery. He explained what happened and that he was leaving, even though his shift technically wasn’t supposed to end for another 4 hours. Luckily for him, the chief was more than understanding.

John then went and changed back into his street clothes, feeling the guilt of not being able to save Lucas weigh heavy on him. John didn’t and probably never know what caused the bleeding that led to everything going sideways in surgery. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was something he’d done. If perhaps having Lucas on his side caused John to nick a blood vessel off camera that led to this. It was possible that it was John’s fault, but it was also very possible that it was nothing John could’ve even guessed about, and they would likely never know the answer to that question.

John let that guilt carry him all the way from the chief’s office, to the attendings’ lounge, where he changed back into his street clothes, and then to the bar that was just a block and a half away from the hospital. He went inside and sat down at the bar. John was quiet before the bartender came over to him. 

“Can I just get a uh, double rum on the rocks please?” John asked the bartender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say for myself is welcome to Act 2


	33. Searching For Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Very Important I know I originally stated that these events were happening on a Friday night, however it would've been a weekday, not Friday! My dumbass made a mistake and I'm very sorry about that!
> 
> TW: Alcohol, description of someone being under the influence, verbal fighting, mentions of alcohol poisoning, talk of losing a child

Alex had fallen asleep, but had set an alarm for 3am so he could be awake and see John for a little when he got home. However 3am came and went and there was no sign of John, and usually if he was going into a surgery and would be late he would text Alex. But Alex had received nothing. Alex tried to call John but no one answered. When he was in surgery, a nurse would usually answer John’s phone so it was very strange and worrying for Alex.

As 4am rolled around with no sign of John. Alex was worried now and called the hospital.

“Hi, I’m hoping you can help me, my- my boyfriend Dr John Laurens was working this evening and he has not arrived home yet, I was wondering if he perhaps got caught in a surgery?” Alex asked when someone answered the phone.

“Lemme check that out for you for you.” The woman on the phone told him. “Just give me one moment.”

“Of course. Thank you.” Alex told her.

Soon the woman came back to the phone. “I just checked and Dr Laurens isn’t in a surgery right now, nor is he in the ER. I’m sorry to say I cannot tell you where he could be.”

“Alright, thank you anyway.” Alex said and the call ended. He sat in John’s bed trying to figure out his next move. He tried calling John a couple more times when he heard a thud against the front door.

Alex frowned at the noise, he got up and went downstairs, turning a light on in the upstairs hallway as he did so. He looked out the window at the front door but couldn’t see anything or one there that could’ve made the noise. Cautiously he opened the door.

As the door opened John fell into the house because he had been leaning against the door. He was awake but clearly out of it. He had an almost empty bottle of Smirnoff vodka in his hand. “Heeeey sexy.” His speech slurred as he spoke upon seeing Alex.

“John? What’s going on?” Alex asked, trying to help John up. He was confused and very concerned and rightfully so.

John’s eyes widened as he looked Alex in the eye, and swayed on his unsteady feet. “Something bad happened. Like, really bad. It’s so bad Lexi.” He gasped suddenly. “Lexi rhymes with sexy!” He exclaimed happily, a drastic change from the serious, almost sad mood he had been expressing a second ago. His speech continued to slur.

“John are you drunk?” Alex asked in disbelief.

John gave Alex an over-exaggerated nod. “I.” He pointed at himself. “Killed a kid. So I. Got drunk.” He announced.

Alex’s face fell and he found himself at a loss for words. He helped John into the house and laid him down on the couch, taking the vodka away from him in the process. “I’m gonna get you some water.” Alex told John.

“I’d prefer it if you would give my vodka back but I’d drink anything for you hot stuff.” John smirked at him.

Alex frowned to himself as he walked to the kitchen. He got John a glass of water with a straw and handed it to John, then pulled out his phone and found Eliza’s contact as he walked back over to the kitchen. He hit the call button as he watched John from behind the kitchen counter.

After a couple rings she picked up. “Alex? It’s like, 4 in the morning what’s going on?” She asked in a sleepy voice, it was clear Alex’s call had woken her up.

Alex sighed a bit. He felt bad for waking Eliza up. He knew that sleep was precious to Eliza doing shift work in the ER, but he didn’t know where else to turn. “It’s John, I, Eliza he’s drunk.” Alex whispered into the phone, his voice breaking a little as the reality of the situation hit him.

“W- wait, what?” Eliza now sounded fully alert, and concerned, almost maybe mad even.

“Yeah, he’s like, drunk drunk. Like slurred speech, can’t walk a straight line, making inappropriate comments, would be sleeping on the front step if I wasn’t awake to help him into the house  **drunk** . He had a bottle of vodka, almost empty by the way, in his hand too. I took it from him but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s completely shitfaced drunk right now.” Alex explained the situation to Eliza.

“I’m- okay, I’m gonna come over.” Eliza told him. It sounded like she was getting up out of bed. “Get rid of that vodka and see if you can get him to tell you how much he’s had to drink.” Eliza instructed. “He got alcohol poisoning a few times before going to rehab and I bet if he’s drunk half of what he used to he could get it again seeing as it’s been 8 years."

“Alright. I’ll see you soon.” Alex said. He hung up and grabbed the bottle of vodka, pouring it down the drain. He walked back over to John who had taken the straw out of the water and was playing with it. “John, love?” Alex asked softly.

“Whaddup Lexi?” John slurred from his spot on the couch. He hadn’t bothered to try and sit himself up even.

“How much have you had to drink?” Alex asked gently, sitting on the edge of the couch next to John.

“Uh,, shit man Ion even know.” John shook his head a bit

“Approximately then? Come on baby this is important.” Alex told John, hoping John could give him something.

“I think I have my receipt!” John gasped. “Hang on.” He said and dug around in his pocket, then handed Alex a crumpled piece of paper. “The bartender fucking cut me off!” He half shouted as he handed the receipt over to Alex.

Alex looked at the receipt from the bar and frowned. He slid it into his own pocket to show Eliza when she arrived. “Baby you shouldn’t be drinking, you know that.”

“Oh fuck off Alexander. Just because you have a stick so far up your ass you can see it out your mouth doesn’t mean I can’t have some  _ fun _ once in a while.” John’s mood had obviously suddenly turned sour.

Alex frowned more at the harsh words. He could handle being called all kinds of things by homophobes or racists or just straight up bullies, but harsh words coming from John’s mouth affected him far more, because he knew and loved John. “Baby you don’t mean that.” Alex said softly.

“Yes the fuck I do!” John began to shout again, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Alex. “And you know what else, Alexander? You’re the reason I started drinking! You! You got yourself  **blown up** and then  **disappeared** so I started drinking, you selfish prick! You are a  _ selfish selfish  _ prick. So this is  **your** fault! You choose to disappear and it  _ ruined _ me!” John wasn’t yelling, but it wasn’t exactly an inside-voice either.

Alex felt like he’d been punched in the stomach upon hearing this. He tried to remind himself that John was drunk and probably didn’t mean it, but at the same time, John did have a bit of a point there. Before Alex could come up with a response to what John had said, there was a knock on the door. Alex got up and answered it, relieved to see Eliza. “Eliza, thank goodness. Come in.” He said and opened the door wider, letting her in.

“Hey.” She said and stepped inside. She wasn’t still in pajamas, but she was wearing black sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt with the name of Maria’s former university on it and her hair up in a messy bun, serving as a painful reminder of the hour.

“Eliza, I just- I mean it: thank god you’re here. I’ve never seen him drunk before, I have absolutely no idea what to do.” Alex whispered in explanation to Eliza.

John looked over, gasping when he saw Eliza. “My main bitch!” He exclaimed happily. “We partying now! Where’s the booze?!” He remained excited, the anger from less than a minute ago gone.

“John, hun, it’s really late, why don’t we party tomorrow?” Eliza asked gently, going along with what John was saying while also trying to carry out her and Alex’s agenda.

“Pinky promise?” John asked and held out his pinky finger.

“Promise.” Eliza smiled and wrapped her pinky around his.

“Dope.” John mumbled and nodded.

“Hey John? Why don’t we sleep in here on the couch tonight, it’ll be fun.” Eliza said, somewhat excitedly in order to encourage John to play along with it.

“Hell fucking yeah it will be.” John grinned widely at Eliza.

Soon John was passed out on the couch on his side, so if he vomited he wouldn’t choke. Eliza had covered him with a blanket and he had fallen asleep fairly quickly. She didn’t think he had alcohol poisoning, but she made an educated guess that he wasn’t far away from it, based on his bar receipt and the fact that he had drunken most of the small bottle of vodka.

“Did he say why he drank?” Eliza spoke quietly as she looked over at John from where she was standing in the kitchen with Alex.

“He was working this evening. He got home and said something about killing a kid. I’m guessing he lost a patient?” Alex frowned as he started brewing coffee. It had taken an hour from the time John got home to the time they got him to sleep and Alex didn’t think he could go back to sleep at this point.

Eliza nodded a bit. “He sent me a text at like, 9pm asking me to hug Phillip a little tighter tonight. I was really confused, I bet he was headed into surgery on a kid. That’s never a fun thing.” Eliza frowned too.

Alex nodded a bit. “He hasn’t lost a single patient since we got together.” He stated quietly.

“I know. That probably made it a lot worse, 5 months without losing a patient and then for it to be a kid?” Eliza shook her head. “I sobbed and considered quitting the first time I lost a kid.” She admitted. “It never really gets easier, you just, get more and more numb towards it.” She explained.

“I can’t even imagine.” Alex sighed. “Do you want a cup?” He asked as he poured himself a coffee.

Eliza shook her head. “Do you think you can manage by yourself if I head home now? Maria was on her way home when you called, so I kinda left Philip alone at the house. I mean Maria’s probably home now or close to it, but still...” She trailed off.

“Shit, yeah, no problem, go. I’ve got it from here.” Alex was quick to reassure Eliza that she was okay to leave.

“I’ll come back in the morning before you gotta leave for work.” Eliza told Alex as she walked to the door.

Alex nodded. “I’ll see you then. Thanks for your help.” Alex told her sincerely.

“Of course. See you in a couple hours.” Eliza said and left.

Alex sipped his coffee and opened his laptop, working for an hour until about 6am, then he saved his work and headed upstairs to shower and get ready for the day. It took longer to do at John’s house, because John didn’t have all the bathroom modifications Alex did. He was looking to get them installed, but in the meantime, Alex had to set up a collapsible plastic shower chair, and make sure it’s suction cup feet were properly stuck to the shower floor before getting in, and afterwards then he had to dry it off, and fold it back up and put it away again.

By the time Alex got back downstairs around 6:45, changed and ready to leave for work, not only was John awake, but he had somehow gotten himself a bottle of Jack Daniels. “John, what the hell? Where did that come from?” Alex asked, completely baffled at the sight in front of him because he knew for a fact John didn’t keep any liquor in the house.

“You can order shit from the liquor store off Doordash, dumbass.” John was drunk, probably still from last night, with the new liquor not helping at all, however he was more sober than he had been last night or rather, 3 hours ago.

“John you can’t be drinking.” Alex told John firmly. “Hand that over.” Alex went over to him and held out his hand for the bottle.

“No.” John refused, hugging the bottle tightly.

“John, come on, you’re not supposed to drink. This isn't healthy. It’s a miracle you didn’t get alcohol poisoning last night.” Alex tried to stress the importance of the situation to John.

“Fuck off, I’m a grown ass adult, you can’t tell me what to do.” John snapped at Alex.

“John you’re an alcoholic. You cannot be drinking! You were sober for 8 years- what the hell happened? Does that mean nothing to you?” Alex found himself growing upset, causing him to start to lose composure with the situation.

“Obviously not Alex or I wouldn’t have picked up a bottle.” John said bitterly. “I lost a kid last night! A fucking kid! You know how hard that is? Being responsible for the death of a  _ 5 year old _ ? You ever had to tell a kid’s moms you just killed their son?” John was getting loud again.

Alex was quiet.

“Exactly. You don’t have the balls for it.” John shook his head and ran his tongue over his teeth. “You don’t have the balls for anything. You run away from all your problems. Mom dies? Run away and go work your ass off until you forget it! Hurricane where everyone but your pathetic ass dies? Run away to New York! Student debt and no way to pay it off? Run away and join the army! Leg gets blown off? Run away to Germany! Rehab sucks? Run away and go get depressed. Get suspended from work? Run away to fucking Harlem! All you ever do is run away Alex. You’re pathetic. You have no idea what I’ve been through! What I go through! So save me the damn lecture!” John shouted angrily, his words cutting deep.

“John I’m trying to help you!” Alex exclaimed.

“Yeah well fucking stop it. I don’t want you to. Fuck- I wish you never came back into my life!” John told him seriously.

Alex’s eyes filled with tears. He quickly grabbed his stuff and left for work, despite having it being over an hour before he had to be there and the fact that Eliza hadn’t arrived back at John’s yet. John’s words had been painful and no matter how much Alex tried to tell himself it was the alcohol he couldn’t help but be hurt by them. Alex drove to his work, then parked and sat there, crying in his car until there was a knock on the window. Alex looked over at whoever it was. It was Washington standing there with a concerned look on his face.

Alex rolled down his window. “M- morning sir.” He sniffled and wiped away a tear.

“Alexander are you alright?” George asked, the look of concern on his face only growing.

“John and I got in a fight.” Alex said quietly. “Some uh, some really bad stuff happened last night and we fought. We’ve never fought before.” Alex decided against telling Washington that John had lost his sobriety. Alex figured it wasn’t something John would want everyone knowing about. Or at least, that’s what he would want once he was no longer drunk.

George frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that, take as long as you need to collect yourself, and try not to stress over it too much, John loves you, whatever this is will pass.” George knew it was rare for Alex to get sad. Emotional? All the time. Upset? Loads. Angry? At work it was more common to find Alex at least a little pissed off than it was to find him content. But sad? Washington had rarely ever seen that over the last 10 months they’d been working together.

Alex nodded a bit, even though he didn’t believe Washington’s words. He had absolutely no idea how on earth any of this could possibly be okay, and it certainly wasn’t just going to just pass. A best case scenario in this situation would be that Eliza would sober John up, John would apologize to Alex for what he said, and would have to work to get sober again. But for Alex? Best case scenarios came few and far between and he had a feeling this would definitely end up being less than a best case scenario. He only hoped it wouldn’t become a worst case scenario, and he didn’t even want to think about what that could possibly look like.


	34. I Didn't Know Any Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna get worse before it gets better. I'm sorry.
> 
> TW: Alcohol, descriptions of people under the influence, cheating, domestic violence

Alex took a couple more moments to try to collect himself, then headed into the building. He was no longer crying, but he still looked like he had been and that was in addition to the dark bags under his eyes caused by only sleeping for about 3 hours the night before. He didn’t want to waste anymore time though, which is why he headed into the building.

As Alex walked to his office, he passed Jefferson and Madison, who were standing in the hallway near Alex’s office. As Alex got closer Thomas stepped forward and opened his mouth to talk to Alex.

Alex put up a hand to silence Jefferson before the Virginian could get a single word in. “Not today.” He practically growled and went into his office, closing the door behind him without ever looking at Jefferson and Madison, because if he had, he would’ve realized that they were likely coming to him with something for the budget, not trying to antagonize him.

Alex opened up his work and stared at the document, not yet doing anything, when his phone rang. He answered it after letting it ring for a second. “Alex Hamilton.” He said plainly because he didn’t bother to check who it was.

“Alex what the hell happened?” Eliza’s voice half shouted at him from the phone. “I get here 45 minutes before you need to leave for work and you’re gone and John is nursing a bottle of whiskey! You were supposed to wait until I got here!” She exclaimed.

“He had the bottle before I left.” Alex admitted with a sigh. “He ordered it off Doordash while I was in the shower. I tried to get him to give it to me but he refused. He said some-  _ really _ fucked up shit to me, Eliza. I, I didn’t want to deal with it for another half hour until you got there. He was still drunk from last night, but less, and he was beyond mean to me. I drove to work and then cried in my car for a half hour.” Alex explained. He felt bad for leaving John, but he also knew that had he stayed it would’ve only made things worse for him.

“Alex, I get that John can get nasty and say some hurtful things, trust me, I’ve dealt with my fair share of that, but you can’t leave him alone!” Eliza exclaimed. “What if he’d left the house before I got there?” She pointed out.

“I wasn’t thinking okay!” Alex had to fight the urge to start crying again. “I did exactly what he said I always do. I fucking ran away from my problems, okay? I’m sorry I don’t know how to deal with this stuff.” Alex spoke fairly quietly.

“I’m gonna try and sober him up, get him to a meeting, but I don’t know how good it’s gonna go. He doesn’t seem to think this is an issue.” Eliza told Alex with a sigh.

“Yeah, I got the same vibe.” Alex sighed too. “I think he might be taking this harder because he hasn’t lost a patient in so long, and I think based off the stuff he told me that the kid he lost might’ve reminded him of Philip. I mean he said it was a 5 year old boy and that the kid might’ve had two moms? He certainly implied it at least.” Alex explained to Eliza. 

“I think you might have a point there.” Eliza admitted.

There was a knock on Alex’s door. “Listen, Eliza, I gotta go. I’ll call you later and we can talk about this more.” He told her.

“Alex we should be talking about this now!” Eliza exclaimed.

“Eliza. I am at work and there is someone waiting to come into my office. I’m a very busy man, I’m sorry. I love John but I do not have time right now.” Alex stressed.

“Alexan-!” Eliza began to speak but Alex hung up the phone before she could finish.

“Come in!” Alex sighed and called out as he set his phone down and looked up at who it was entering his office.

Washington entered the room. “Alexander, I understand you’re dealing with personal issues, but if you cannot perform your job today then I’m going to have to send you home.” George told Alexander, sounding not exactly happy with Alex.

“What? Who said I can’t perform my job?” Alex asked, confused by what Washington was accusing him of.

“The fact that Jefferson and Madison tried to bring a pitch to you just now and you simply told them quote ‘not today’?” George raised his eyebrows at Alexander as he spoke.

Alex’s face fell. This was going to be a long day. “Sir I didn’t realize they were trying to come to me with work. I- I honestly assumed they were just going to try and antagonize me. I’m sorry.” Alex explained himself.

“Don’t apologize to me, Alexander, apologize to them.” George told Alex, though it sounded a bit more like a command.

Alex nodded a bit.

Washington turned and left the room.

Jefferson and Madison came in a moment later.

Alex sighed a bit as they entered his office. “I- I’m, I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled to them.

Thomas gently tapped his ear. “What was that? Couldn’t quite hear you.” He told Alex, despite having heard him well enough. He was simply trying to antagonize Alex.

“I’m sorry okay?!” Alex snapped, loudly. “I do not have patience for your bullshit today! I’m dealing with enough shit already at home. Either start your pitch or get out.” Alex spoke bitterly.

Thomas’s eyes widened a bit as he realized just how angry Alexander was and he looked at James. They were quiet for a moment before starting their pitch, treading very lightly as they did so.

As they finished their pitch Madison laid the folder with reports and such on Alex’s desk.

“We’ll just leave you with this to consider and review.” Jefferson told him quietly.

“Really? I thought I had to memorize it all and just, keep the information in my brain.” Alex said sarcastically to Jefferson.

“No need to get rude or cocky, Hamilton. I’m trying my best to not insult your tiny weirdo ass right now.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. I’ll be sure to look this over.” Alex told Jefferson as he grabbed the folder and opened a drawer in his desk, carelessly dropping the folder into the drawer, all while maintaining eye contact with the councilmen in his office. “If you don’t have anything else to say, I suggest you leave now.” Alex warned the men in his office.

“Thank you for your time, Hamilton.” Madison said and pulled Jefferson out of Alex’s office.

Once they were gone Alex set the folder in it’s proper place to look over later, then resumed his work.

Alex was driving back to John’s after work when he got a call from Eliza; he answered it using the bluetooth in his car. “I’m on my way right now.” He told her upon answering, assuming she was mad and wanted to know where he was.

“Alex, John took off.” Eliza told him. She didn’t sound angry, but she certainly wasn’t happy either.

“T- took off? Where? How?” Alex asked, suddenly concerned.

“I was able to get him to go to an AA meeting which he obviously didn’t want to be at. While we were at the meeting he told me he was going to the washroom, I didn’t even think anything of it. He used it as an opportunity to take off. My bet is he ran off to find his next drink.” Eliza explained.

“Great.” Alex mumbled to himself. “What do we do? What’s the best thing to do?” He asked, sounding stressed.

“I’m gonna drive around and look for him. Can you go back to his house and just, wait for him? Be there in case he shows up.”

“Alright.” Alex agreed.

“And Alex, if he does show up and gets angry again, just, try to go with the flow until I get there, and don’t let him see that any unkind words affect you, it only fuels his fire more.” Eliza offered Alex some very important, useful advice.

Alex went back to John’s house and waited. He hoped John would come home soon and they could sort this all out. John meant the world to him and he really just wanted this to all be over. Alex couldn’t help but feel guilty because while he knew John was never a huge fan of AA meetings because of how religious they could be, he at least used to go occasionally. Now Alex couldn’t remember the last time John went to one, and Alex couldn’t help but wonder if it was his fault.

A couple hours later they were still trying to find John, the situation not all that different from when Alex went missing, only this search involved a lot more checking of liquor stores and bars. When John finally arrived home it brought some short-lived relief for Alex, unfortunately, the key word there was short-lived.

The relief was short lived, because John entered the house with his tongue halfway down some other guy’s throat. John was so invested in making out with this stranger, that he didn’t even notice Alex sitting on the couch, watching this happen.

Alex saw this and his heart shattered for a moment before his vision went red. He quickly walked over and pulled the strange man off John. “Get out! Get the fuck out! He’s drunk off his ass and in a committed relationship!” Alex shouted as he pushed the stranger out the door.

The strange guy was so taken aback by this that he let it happen, wandering off after being pushed out of John’s house.

“The fuck was that Alex?!” John shouted, growing angry at Alex very quickly.

“John, you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re doing.” Alex did his best to remain calm, knowing that if he got overly emotional it would only make the situation with John worse, and it was already really bad.

“I know perfectly well what I’m doing Alexander.” John’s speech was slurred, but not to the extent it was last night.

“No you don’t, you’re far beyond being able to consent and that guy was probably only a quarter as drunk as you are. I don’t want to think about what might’ve happened if I didn’t intervene.” Alex told him, not even mentioning how much it hurt that John legitimately was about to cheat on him without a second thought.

“Spare me the fucking lecture, Alexander. I can make my own fucking decisions. I wanted to do that.” John said firmly.

“You would feel differently if you were sober John, this, this is the liquor talking.” Alex said it as though he was more trying to convince himself than he was John. He couldn’t help but sound at least a little hurt.

“Would I? Would I really, Alex?” John asked bitterly. “You can’t tell me how or what to feel. I can do whatever the hell I want. Last I checked this is a free country.”

“John, please, please, I know work was hard last night, and I know that I couldn’t possibly understand, but please John, just, please, talk to me, no more drinking, and we don’t have to fight. Just, talk to me.” Alex begged, getting desperate.

“What is there to say? I was doing fine, then you showed up, and suddenly things were too good. The other shoe was bound to drop some time.” John said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, and to an extent, he was probably right.

Alex was at a loss of words for a moment. “I just don’t understand. How do you just, throw away 8 years of sobriety?” He asked.

“I’ve already told you, I lost a kid!” John exclaimed.

“I know that, but, explain to me how that happened. You lost a kid, then what? Suddenly you're drunk? How’d you get from point A to point B?” Alex asked again.

“I killed the kid, told his moms, left the hospital, and found myself at a bar. And I don’t regret it, because losing that kid fucking hurt, and the alcohol eased the pain.” John told Alex simply.

“John come on, please, we- we can deal with this, we can take care of this, get past it without anymore alcohol. We’ll get you sobered up and we can put this all behind us.” Alex said hopefully.

“I don’t want to sober up. And cut the ‘we’ shit. This is my business, not yours. You know what? Just, just get the fuck out of my house, I don’t want you here anymore.” John told Alex as he walked away from the doorway where they’d been standing, into the formal, main floor, living room.

“John, please, I, you don’t really mean that. You’re drunk.” Alex stayed where he was near the doorway.

“I’m sober enough to know I don’t want you here right now so I’ll tell you again, get out of my house.” John was growing angrier and angrier with each passing moment.

“John please-” Alex started.

John picked up a glass vase and threw it in Alex’s direction. It narrowly missed Alex’s head, shattering against the wall behind him. “Get! Out!” He shouted.

Alex was frozen in fear for a moment, then quickly left the house. He went and sat in his car, shaking and crying for some time. Eventually he calmed himself enough to be able to call Eliza.

“Alex, did he show up?” She asked upon answering the phone.

“Y- y- yeah. He- he did.” Alex stuttered as he spoke, his breathing still shaky and uneven.

“Alex are you okay?” Eliza sounded very concerned upon hearing how upset Alex sounded. She hadn’t dealt with Alex’s anxiety as much as John, or even anyone else from the veterans from their friend group had.

Alex was quiet for a moment. “Just, god, Eliza he’s in a really bad mood, like things are really bad. I’d say you should come but, um, well, like-” Alex didn’t know how to say it. “He brought some stranger home with him to hook up with. I kicked the guy out and we fought more and then….” Alex trailed off.

“Then what?” Eliza asked, still sounding quite concerned.

“He got  _ really _ mad, he kinda- he kinda got violent.” Alex whispered into the phone as though he was terrified of the words.

“Violent?” Alex could practically hear Eliza’s eyes widen. “How so? Alex, did he hurt you?” Eliza asked panickedly.

“He- he tried to throw a vase at me, it missed though.” Alex told her honestly, despite still feeling upset but also somewhat embarrassed about it.

“Are you still in the house with him?” Eliza asked.

“No, I’m in my car outside his house.” Alex admitted.

“Okay, good. Just, stay there okay? I’m gonna figure something out and call you back right away.” Eliza promised.

“Please hurry, I, I wanna get out of here.” Alex told her.

“I will. Hang tight.” Eliza hung up the phone.

Alex began crying more. Soon his phone lit up with a text. It took him a couple tries to type his password correctly because he was crying and shaking so much. It was from Angelica.

[I’m on my way to John’s, hang tight.]

Alex set his phone aside and hugged himself tightly, going over what had just happened in his mind again and again. He was worried that he was overreacting to the situation, but at the same time he legitimately was terrified at the moment. He was also embarrassed about it, this kind of stuff wasn’t supposed to happen to guys, especially not war veterans.

Soon Angelica’s car pulled up at John’s house, across the street from Alex’s car. Angelica got out and walked to Alex’s car which was parked in front of John’s house. “Alex, are you okay?” She asked even though his car windows and doors were shut.

Alex heard her, but he didn’t want to think about this or deal with it anymore, so instead of talking to her, he drove off, not bothering to tell anyone where he was going or what he was planning on doing.


	35. Truly You Didn't Think This Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Alcohol, description of people under the influence, talk of domestic violence, yelling

Angelica was driving home when her phone began ringing with her ringtone for Eliza. She answered the call.

“Hey ‘Liza, I’m actually just on my way home now, what’s up?” Angelica asked. She was working some longer hours now with ACLU, but she didn’t mind. She knew that her work was far bigger than anything she did at her previous job, hell it was far bigger than  **her** , and she enjoyed doing such important work.

“Angelica listen, John is drinking again-” Eliza started.

Angelica cut Eliza off. “Wait what? He’s drinking? What the hell happened? Since when has he been drinking?” Angelica asked suddenly, growing upset. John could do some pretty fucked up things while drunk and she knew about that all too well, hearing this was concerning to say the least.

“Let me get a sentence in and I’ll tell you.” Eliza sounded somewhat exasperated.

“Sorry.” Angelica apologized. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“John’s drinking again, he had a really tough loss last night at work. I got a call from Alexander at like, 4:30 this morning saying that John arrived home from work late and drunk off his ass. I went over to John’s house and helped Alex get him to sleep. Maria was on her way home when Alex called so I left the house with the doors locked and Pip asleep because I wasn’t gonna bring him with me to John’s house. Once John was asleep I went back home because of Philip. I promised Alex I would be back in the morning before he had to leave for work.” Eliza began to explain.

“Alright so what happened in the morning?” Angelica drummed her fingers anxiously against the steering wheel. She had already changed course to head into Brooklyn, instead of home to her and Peggy’s Upper East Side penthouse.

“I got there and Alex had already left, despite promising he’d wait until I got there a couple hours before. John was still drunk from the night before and ordered alcohol via one of those food delivery services while Alex was in the shower. I guess Alex and John fought because of it and John said some really hurtful stuff to Alex and Alex didn’t wanna stick around. I was able to get John to put the bottle down, shower, change, and go to an AA meeting but he took off at the meeting.” Eliza continued to explain.

“So is he still missing?” Angelica asked, thinking back to when Alex was missing a couple months ago in June.

“Nope, we found him. Alex was waiting at John’s in case he came home. John brought a stranger home with him for the purposes of hooking up according to Alex. Alex kicked the guy out and they fought more, and John got violent.” Eliza sounded stressed.

Angelica’s eyes widened. Alex wasn’t completely helpless, but John was taller than him, and probably was in far better shape than Alex, plus Alex had the prosthetic leg. She couldn’t help but imagine the worst. “Violent? How so? Is Alex okay?” She asked, her voice full of concern and a hint of anger.

“Alex said John threw a vase at him, he told me he was okay but he sounded really shaken up. Maria would probably be ideal for the situation but she’s a work, so I can’t call her to come help with this because A she’s probably busy already, and B she’d have to file paperwork for it if she handled this while on the clock and John could lose his medical license. I really need help dealing with John though. I mean, I still have Pip in my car with me, I picked him up from school while looking for John. I’m just glad Maria left his tablet and headphones in here so he doesn’t have to hear this. I’m gonna call Liz and see if she can watch Pip but right now someone needs to go over to John’s house. He can’t be alone and we can’t expect Alex to do it. I’d call Hercules but his shop is still open for another half hour, plus he needs time to get home. And Laf is still in DC and if I called George, John would get mad once he’s sober and-”

“I can go.” Angelica offered quickly, realizing that her sister didn’t really want to ask her directly, but didn’t have any other options to go with either.

“You’re sure you can handle him if he gets violent again?” Eliza asked, sounding somewhat worried.

“Even before basic I could take him in a fight. I’m taller than him and I know what I’m doing, plus I keep myself in shape. I gotta be able to cart around my niece and nephews all at the same time after all.” Angelica chuckled a bit at how the children were easily amused at her being able to carry Philip, Mary, and William around at the same time. 

“I can handle John, plus there’s almost nothing he can say that will upset me. I’ve been called every name in the book and I don’t care what he could try to bring up from the past, there’s nothing he hasn’t used against me before. I got this.” Angelica reassured Eliza.

“Thank you Angie, I’ll call you as soon as I know what I’m doing.” Eliza promised.

“Take your time. I’ll be at John’s soon. Take all the time you need figuring things out with Pip, don’t feel rushed. Prioritize him over this situation. I got this. I’ll call you if anything major happens.” Angelica reassured.

Soon Angelica got to John’s house. She took a moment to take out her earrings and her other jewelry off, and tied her hair up, just in case things got nasty. Then she got out and walked towards Alex’s car. “Alex, are you alright?” She asked, despite the fact that his windows and door were shut. She knew that she was supposed to be watching John, but she would be a pretty terrible friend if she didn’t at least check in on Alex.

Alex looked at her but rather than responding to her question, he started his car and drove off.

Angelica frowned deeply, but understood why Alex did it. She went to the door to John’s house, grateful to find it wasn’t locked and she could let herself in. She looked around, there was broken glass on the floor from the vase and John was in the kitchen with a bottle of Smirnoff to his lips. Angelica left her shoes on because of the broken glass and walked over to John. She grabbed the bottle from out of his hands, tossing it in the sink so it would spill down the drain. “Are you out of your goddamn mind John Laurens?!” Angelica shouted, finding herself suddenly very angry with John. Had the vase hit Alex, they could be looking at a very different situation here; a situation that could have serious repercussions.

“The fuck was that?” John shouted back at Angelica.

“John, I don’t even know where to start with you! What the fuck happened?” Angelica asked him angrily.

“None of your business.” John said bitterly, trying to reach for the bottle while it continued to slowly spill into the sink.

Angelica grabbed John’s wrist before he could reach the bottle and she held onto it. “It most certainly is my business if you’re drinking again and hurting Alexander!” She exclaimed.

“That prick did this to himself.” John said simply, jerking his hand out of Angelica’s grasp and taking a step back, distancing himself from her.

“No, John,  _ you _ did this to him. You got drunk and  **violent** with him! He was trying to help you and you nearly cheated on him then threw a vase at him! That’s considered domestic violence, you know that? That’s something you could lose your medical license for! You realize that, right?!” Angelica was unafraid to shout this right in John’s face, hoping it would force the reality of the situation to hit John harder than it was so far.

John was quiet, Angelica’s shouting seemed to sober him up fast, and as she hoped; he became less defensive, listening rather than fighting her on everything she said..

“Alexander is one of the best things you have in your life and you are so  _ lucky _ to have gotten a second chance with him! He loves you more than anything and you hurt him! You  _ scared _ him. You managed to  _ scare _ the man who ran out under potential enemy fire without a second thought! Do you realize what you’ve done? You- you’ve invented a new kid of stupid John Laurens!” Angelica explained. She scoffed a bit. “Congratulations, you’ve redefined your relationship with him. Are you happy now? Are you?” She asked angrily.

John swallowed thickly and looked down at the floor, unable to make eye contact with Angelica. “No.” He whispered.

“I know that boy like I know my own mind, John. You could never find someone as loving or as kind! He would walk over hot coals, hell he would lose his other leg for you! You make him so happy and right now you are breaking him! He is quite possibly my best friend and you know what? I had feelings for him in Iraq but I knew you had feelings for him too, so I stood by. Do you know why? Do you know why I pushed my feelings aside, John?”

John shook his head.

“Because I love you, and I wanted both of you to be happy, so I stayed quiet, I let you have him. And while you grieved his loss, so did I, but I had to do it a million times quieter while taking it just as hard because  **I** was the one that carried his body a half mile to safety. I was the one who had to walk back to the barracks covered in his blood. And I loved him, but I couldn’t say anything about it to anyone.” Angelica paused to take a deep, shaky breath. “I made so many sacrifices for the two of you. So how fucking dare you do this to him? To your relationship with him?”

“Angelica you weren’t there at the hospital last night. You wouldn’t understand.” John mumbled, trying to defend himself.

“Then make me understand!” Angelica exclaimed.

John took a moment before speaking. “A five year old kid got hit by a car in a hit and run incident. I took on his case, he was in bad shape, Angie. His moms came in, terrified and begged me to save their son. The kid reminded me of Philip, and his moms reminded me of Eliza and Maria. He had a lot of brain trauma and in the OR he flatlined, it was indicated that I should shock him, but the shock made his head shake and the brain injury worsened, making it pointless to try and save him. I couldn’t do anything more to save him.” John explained.

“So that’s an excuse to drink? If I drank every time I had a rough day at work I’d be an alcoholic right alongside you, but I’m not. I know how to deal with a rough day without a drink, and I thought you did too.” Angelica spoke bitterly.

“You didn’t have to listen to the kid’s moms cry and scream out for their son. You didn’t have to look at this couple that reminded you of your best friends, and tell them that their son was dead.” John continued to try to defend himself.

“I know that was probably very hard, John, but wake up and smell the mess you’ve made! Alex is  _ terrified _ right now! Do you know what could’ve happened if that vase hit him?” Angelica asked.

John was quiet.

“I’ve stood beside you while you sobered up before, John, but this is some next level shit right here. You never cheated on a boyfriend or seriously tried to hurt anyone physically before. Get your act together or find yourself a new friend to help you sober up.” Angelica threatened.

John was quiet. “He went through more than I did, and he deals so well. I don’t- I can’t do it like he does. I don’t understand. He went from suicidal to fine in like, a couple weeks once his university funding got approved. It took me years to get it all sorted out.” John mumbled.

“So what are you gonna do?” Angelica asked as she began looking through his cupboards, fridge and freezer, pulling a full bottle of Jack Daniels out of the freezer. “Is this the only other liquor in the house? And don’t lie to me, I can when the world’s best liar is lying from a mile away so don’t bother trying.” Angelica asked him.

“That’s all there is.” John said truthfully.

Angelica opened it and poured it down the sink too, rinsing out both bottles of liquor then putting them with the other bottles and cans for recycling.

“I’m sorry.” John mumbled quietly.

“Don’t bother, John. I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Angelica told him.

“I- I don’t know how to compare to him.” John spoke quietly, talking about Alex.

“Did anyone ask you to?” Angelica asked.

“Well no but like, something bad happens to him and in no time at all he’s fine again. He just, bounces right back. No matter what knocks him over or how hard he falls, he’s up and running again in no time at all. I don’t know how to do that.” John explained.

“John I think we both know that this isn’t gonna fix itself. And Alex took time with lots of things too.” Angelica told him.

John was quiet again.

“Go, sleep this off. We can talk more about this, with Eliza, when you’re sobered up more.” Angelica said as she leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms and staring at John to show she meant business.

“Angie,” John started to try anyway.

“No. I don’t want to hear any more.” Angelica told him simply. “Give me your phone and go sleep this off.” Angelica held out her hand for his phone.

John pulled out his phone and handed it to her before going up the stairs and into his room.

Angelica sighed and waited until she heard his bedroom door close. She then went and sat down on the couch. “Thank god it’s Friday.” She shook her head as she spoke to herself.

Soon Eliza arrived. “Hey, where’s John?” She asked as she stepped inside the house.

“Sleeping.” Angelica told her simply.

“What happened exactly?” Eliza asked as she joined Angelica on the couch.

“Alex took off as soon as I got here. I yelled at John, a lot. Then we actually talked a little about things. I got rid of all the alcohol in the house, took his phone so he couldn’t do anything else stupid and sent him to bed.” Angelica explained.

Eliza sighed a bit at the situation. “Did he try anything with you?”

“No he didn’t. I think I sobered him up pretty good by yelling. He might be drunk but he was sober enough to know not to try anything. He knows he messed up big time and I made damn sure of that.”

“Well, I guess that’s something. How do you think Alex is doing? I haven’t heard anything from him since he called me right after John got home this afternoon.” Eliza told her sister.

“Not a clue.” Angelica sighed. “I tried calling him once John went upstairs after I cleaned up the broken glass. It went straight to voicemail, as if he didn’t have service or turned his phone off. I’m gonna keep trying though.” Angelica explained.

Angelica and Eliza asked everyone to keep an eye and ear out for Alex. Unlike last time he disappeared though, no one actually tried to hunt for him, as they knew he was dealing with a lot. They simply wanted everyone to keep an ear out for him in case he needed something, however they did want to know where he’d gone, so they could know if he was safe. Unfortunately no one heard anything from Alex for a good 4 hours or so. 

Angelica sighed as she called Lafayette around 9 that evening.

“Hello Angelica, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” Lafayette said upon answering.

“You wouldn’t happen to have heard from Alex today would you?” Angelica asked.

“I have not. Is he missing again? John said almost the same thing to me when he was missing in June. Why am I always in DC when he is missing?” Lafayette asked.

“I don’t know. Can you just, keep an ear out for him please? He’s going through some really tough shit and he’s gonna reach out eventually. If he does message you or call you can you just, shoot me a text and let me know? We just want to know that he’s safe.” Angelica explained.

“Of course. I will try calling him too. He might be ignoring your calls.” Lafayette offered.

“Thanks Laf.” Angelica said and the call ended there. She turned to Eliza. “Laf hasn’t heard anything either.” She shook her head. “What on earth has John done?”

\---

Lafayette was in the middle of trying to call Alex a second time, it had been maybe a half hour since his call with Angelica. Then there was a sudden knock on his door. Laf hung up the phone as Alex’s voicemail message started. Lafayette opened the door without looking through the peephole to see who it was. He was surprised to see a distraught Alex standing there.

Alex’s eyes were puffy from crying and he had dark bags under his eyes. He was still in his work clothes, however they were quite wrinkly now. “Do you think I could maybe stay here for a little while?” Alex asked in a hoarse voice.


	36. Telling The Story Of Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of alcohol, talk of domestic violence

“Alexander? What are you doing here? Come inside.” Lafayette was shocked to see Alex, but didn’t let it phase him and he pulled Alex into his apartment.

“I, I didn’t know where else to go.” Alex’s voice broke, he sounded small and quiet, and he didn’t make eye contact with Lafayette.

“It is okay, mon ami, you are okay.” Lafayette whispered to Alex as he pulled him into a hug. Lafayette’s heart was breaking as he held onto Alex, it hurt to see Alex so upset, so broken.

Alex wrapped his arms around Lafayette tightly and he let himself cry into Lafayette’s chest.

Lafayette gently rubbed his back and continued to whisper reassuring things to Alex. He didn’t know how to make things okay, so he simply hoped that he could make Alex feel a little bit better, even if it only lasted for a moment.

\---

Angelica quickly answered her phone as it rang, not checking who it was. “Hello?” She asked quickly.

“Hello Angelica.” Lafayette said quietly.

“Hey Laf, we still haven’t heard anything from him.” Angelica assumed Lafayette was calling to ask for an update.

“That is because he is asleep on my couch.” Lafayette told her, his voice still low.

“He went to your apartment? Why not go to his own?” Angelica frowned into the phone, confused as to why Alex would go to Laf’s apartment, and how he got into Laf’s apartment too.

“No, Angelica, he is with me, in DC. He said he did not know where else to go. That him and John had a very bad fight and he did not want to go home or to anyone else’s house. He panicked and drove all the way here. He said it was because he thought it was the one place John could not find him or accidentally run into him.” Lafayette explained. “He is asleep in my lap.” That’s why Lafayette was speaking so quietly.

“Shit, is he okay?” Angelica asked, frowning. No wonder no one had heard from Alex, he was driving all this time.

“He is, very sad, and scared, and I think he is also a little embarrassed. He explained that he did not know where he was driving to until he realized he was driving towards DC. He did not plan this trip at all.” Lafayette explained.

“Damn.” Angelica mumbled. “I saw him today, I tried to talk to him, but, he just took off. I didn’t think he was gonna fucking drive all the way to DC. I should’ve done more.” She shook her head a bit, upset with herself for letting this happen.

“What happened exactly? He tried to explain it all to me but he only became more upset and could not finish. I have a feeling that I am missing a very important piece of the story.” Lafayette admitted.

“Well, on top of everything I already told you about John drinking and saying mean things; John nearly slept with another guy, and threw a vase at Alex. He missed, thankfully, but still that’s some scary shit to go through.” Angelica told Lafayette.

“Mon dieu, I can only imagine.” Lafayette paused. “John was never this angry when he drank before that I can recall, was he? I mean, why is he so angry this time?” Lafayette asked.

“My theory is his current medication. I looked it up, it can happen. Mixing in the two can result in more hostile actions.” Angelica explained to Lafayette.

“Does John even understand what he has done?” Lafayette sounded a bit angry now.

“He’s sleeping right now. I yelled at him for a while then sent him to go sleep this off.” Angelica admitted.

“That is maybe for the best.” Lafayette sighed. “What will you do when he wakes up?”

“Handcuff one of his wrists to one of mine and drag his ass to an AA meeting, and then another, and then another, and as many as it takes for him to realize what he’s done.” Angelica said seriously.

“You seem very angry.” Lafayette observed, treading lightly with the situation.

“Well yeah. He loses one patient and then decides to throw away 8 years of sobriety? Fights with Alex, tries to cheat on him, then throws a vase at him? It’s not excusable behavior.” Angelica pointed out to Lafayette.

“I guess not.” Lafayette agreed.

“I told John.” Angelica said after a moment.

“Told John what?” Lafayette asked.

“That I had feelings for Alex.” Angelica admitted. She had told John she didn’t tell anyone, and at first, when they were all still dealing with Alex’s disappearance she didn’t, but eventually she did open up to Lafayette about it.

“How did John react?” Lafayette asked curiously, until this he and Angelica had the only ones who knew about it.

“Either he didn’t catch on because he was so drunk or he’s been silent about it.” Angelica explained.

“I see.”

“Look, why don’t I call you tomorrow or something and we can figure things out. I can probably fly out there and drive back with Alex in a couple days or so.” Angelica offered.

“Are you sure a couple days will be enough time for John to settle down?” Lafayette asked, sounding doubtful of it.

“That’s why I haven’t booked a flight yet. I’m not gonna try and force Alex to come home until he’s ready and John is at least somewhat stable. You don’t mind hosting him until then?” Angelica double checked.

“Of course not. Alexander is one of my best friends. He can stay here as long as he needs. I could use the company anyway.”

“Thanks Laf. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight Angie.” Lafayette ended the call.

Angelica turned to Eliza. “Alex is in DC at Laf’s place.” She gave a sort of sarcastic chuckle as she said it.

“He- DC? How did he- I mean… wow. That’s all I can say.” Eliza was obviously very surprised to hear it.

Angelica nodded. “He drove himself all the way to DC. I can’t even really blame him, I mean, could you?”

“I guess not. Are you really gonna force John to go to an AA meeting like that?” Eliza asked her older sister.

Angelica sighed a bit. “I don’t think it’s forcing so much as it is making sure he doesn’t leave. He needs it. And I dunno, I mean, I know he was never a huge one for regular therapy but doesn’t he see a therapist when shit gets bad? I think all this calls for that.” Angelica suggested.

“Definitely. I already told the chief of surgery he’s gonna need to take some time off. I’ll leave a voicemail for his therapist.” Eliza told Angelica.

“Thanks Eliza. Look why don’t you get going, it’s getting late, and you still need to pick up Philip from the Mulligan’s. I’ll stay here with John tonight.”

Eliza nodded. “Alright. I’ll call you in the morning. Goodnight Angie. Thanks for your help today.”

“Of course. Night ‘Liza.” Angelica said and watched Eliza walk to her car, making sure she left safely even though they were in one of the best areas of town, simply because that’s what big sisters do.

\---

The next morning Alex was confused when he woke up in a strange room with no idea where he was, then he remembered everything from yesterday. The bed was soft but he figured he should get up so he sat up, groaning as he did so. Alex didn’t remember going to bed, but his leg, and the stump sleeve were off, the leg neatly resting against the bedside table and the sleeve on the bedside table. He was in one of Laf’s t-shirts and his own boxers, with his clothes from yesterday folded on the table in the room, and a set of Lafayette’s clothes with a note that Alex could borrow them for the day. Alex was shocked that he didn’t wake up when Lafayette undressed him and removed his leg, but he guessed he really must’ve been  _ that _ exhausted last night.

Alex put his leg on then took the clothes Laf lent him, a simple green t-shirt and some black joggers. He pulled them on and found they were a little big on him, especially the length of the pant legs, but they would do for now. He then wandered out of the guest bedroom and found his way to the kitchen where Lafayette was making some french toast.

“Good morning Alex, how are you feeling this morning?” Lafayette greeted pleasantly. He’d always been a morning person and Alex sometimes hated him for it.

“Like I made an unplanned road trip to DC on a whim last night and cried the entire drive.” Alex deadpanned, stretching a bit and rubbing his eyes.

Lafayette frowned a bit. “I am sorry. I made coffee, if you would like. Mugs are in the cabinet above the coffee maker.” Lafayette offered.

Alex grabbed himself a mug of coffee and began drinking it as he leaned against the counter near where Lafayette was cooking. “I’m sorry for just showing up here, Laf. I just, I really didn’t know where else to go.” He admitted.

“It is more than okay, Alexander, you were scared and upset, you had a perfectly normal reaction to what happened.” Lafayette reassured him.

“You really think so?” Alex asked.

“Definitely. After I signed my divorce papers I went straight to the airport and got on a plane to New York. I did not want to stay in Paris and just, be reminded of everything. It got better and I was able to return not long after, but at that moment I knew that the city was far too much to handle.” Lafayette told him.

“Sometimes I forget that you were married.” Alex chuckled a bit.

Lafayette shrugged. “It is all in the past now.”

Alex nodded a bit and yawned.

“Real talk now, are you okay? After what happened with John yesterday? And if you’re not okay please tell me. You don’t have to be okay.” Lafayette told Alex.

“I dunno. I mean, nothing bad  _ actually _ happened but…” Alex trailed off, staring at his half-empty coffee mug, tracing shapes into the side of it.

“But it almost happened? And the fact that it could have happened is scaring you?” Lafayette offered an answer.

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I mean, if I hadn’t been at his house, who knows how far John would’ve gotten with that stranger? And I mean, that vase didn’t hit me, but it almost did.” Alex couldn’t help but think about what could’ve happened if those things had happened; how different this situation could be looking.

Lafayette nodded. “Why don’t we spend the day forgetting all that stuff, hmm? Get your mind off of it? We can do anything you want.” Lafayette suggested.

Alex sighed a bit and thought for a moment. “I wanna just watch movies and eat junk food and not wear my leg and hell maybe even get drunk because _ I _ , can do that because I’m not an alcoholic.” Alex admitted.

Lafayette smiled. “Sounds like a wonderful plan to me. We will have a movie marathon, I have lots of snacks on hand, I always have lots of wine, and we can even order take out if you want. The day is ours to waste.” He grinned a bit as he saw Alex perk up as he said all of this.

\---

That same morning was going very differently for John. Angelica woke him up fairly early by throwing a glass of ice water in his face. He quickly sat up. “What on earth was that for?” He groaned.

“To wake your pathetic ass up, John. Come on, there’s a meeting in a half hour and we need ten minutes to get there.” Angelica explained to John.

“Angie there’s always a meeting going on, why can’t we go to one later in the day?” John asked.

“Because it’s 8am and you’ve been sleeping for nearly 14 hours.” Angelica rested her hands on her hips and looked anything but pleased with John.

“Angie please.” John started to beg.

“No.” She said simply, but firmly, holding her ground. “You lost any sympathy I might’ve given you when you threw a vase at your boyfriend who was trying to help you. Get up and dressed, we leave in 15 minutes.” She told him, turned on her heel, and left the room.

Soon Angelica and John were at the AA meeting which was in a church basement, there weren’t too many people there due to the fact that it was 8am Saturday morning, so everyone was sitting on folding chairs in a circle going around. Angelica hadn’t actually handcuffed John to her, but in the car on the way there, she made it clear that if he tried to pull anything on her, he would severely regret it. Soon the circle got to Angelica who was sitting next to John.

“I’m Angelica, and I’m here in support of my friend. I hope you’ll allow me to say my own little thing.” Angelica introduced herself.

“Hi Angelica.” The group greeted her.

“Of course you can say your own piece.” The person leading the meeting told Angelica.

“Thank you. I don’t want to take up much time from people who really need this meeting, so I’ll try to keep this as quick and simple as possible.” She paused. “I’m worried, because my friend has really messed up something he’s really lucky to have in his life, and I don’t know if he can fix it, and the worst thing is that my friend and this thing he messed up both mean a lot to me and if it can’t be fixed, I don't want to have to choose between the two of them. I especially don’t want to have to choose because it can’t be fixed, I don’t know if I can stick with my friend, because he just keeps making these mistakes and they get more severe each time, and I don’t want to see what happens if he slips up one more time.” Angelica said, then sat down. She meant every word she had said, and hoped the words would push John in the right direction.

“Hi, I’m John, and I’m an alcoholic.” John introduced himself.

“Hi John.” The group greeted.

John was quiet for a minute. “The first time I got sober I didn’t take it very seriously, and because I didn’t take it seriously I drank again after about 2 years of being sober. I got sober a second time and I stayed sober for 8 years. Then I had a really rough night a couple nights ago at work. I’m a surgeon and I lost a patient, a kid to be exact. It sucked a lot for some complicated, unimportant reasons. Basically because of it I found myself walking into a bar. I sort of ended up going on like, a short bender and I said some really mean unexcusable things to my boyfriend who was just trying to help me.” John paused and looked at Angelica.

Angelica gave him a small nod.

“While drunk I almost cheated on him and I tried to throw a vase at him. He took off, and I uh, I don’t really know where he is now. He’s probably, mad, probably scared, and I don’t know if he’s gonna talk to me ever again which is really scary because, I love him, a lot but I might’ve just ruined things between us and I dunno what I’m gonna do or how I even begin to fix any of it.” John finished and sat back down as tears began to escape, which he quickly wiped away and the talking moved onto the next person. He could only hope that what he said wasn’t true, and that Alex would talk to him again.


	37. Do You Have A Clue What Happens Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Alcohol, Mentions of Domestic Violence

The next morning soon rolled around and Alex was obviously still at Lafayette’s. Like the morning before, he woke up and Laf was already awake and making breakfast, coffee already brewed.

“Good morning Lafayette.” Alex greeted as he went straight for the coffee. He wasn’t hung over from the night before, but he and Laf certainly had had their fair share of wine, that was for sure.

“Good morning Alex.” Lafayette smiled softly. “How are you this morning? Not hungover I hope.”

“Not hungover.” Alex promised. “Better than yesterday morning too.” Alex said as he leaned against the counter and sipped his coffee, basically immune to how hot it was after years of drinking too-hot coffee.

“That is good. Take a seat, breakfast will be ready soon.” Lafayette instructed and indicated to the breakfast bar on the other end of the island where his stove was.

Alex sat down at the breakfast bar and looked at Lafayette as the Frenchman cooked. “I honestly think your guest bed is more comfy than my bed at home.” He chuckled a bit as he admitted it.

Lafayette chuckled too. “Because it does not get used. All my real friends live in NYC. I do not get many visitors here, much less overnight guests.” He sighed as he said it.

Alex nodded a bit. “I guess so.”

“So I wanted to talk to you about something.” Lafayette started, not looking up as he flipped a pancake.

“Alright, hit me, what’s up?” Alex asked.

“Well Angelica was wondering when you might like to go back to New York. She said there is a flight from JFK to the airport here at 3pm today, and she would be willing to take it and drive back up with you, so that you are not all by yourself.” Lafayette explained.

Alex bit his lip and nervously played with the hem of his shirt, not yet saying anything.

“If you do not wish to go home yet, that is okay Alexander.” Lafayette was quick to reassure Alex. “You can stay with me for as long as you’d like, however if you do want to stay we might need to go out and pick you up some things.”

Alex nodded a bit. “I can work remotely this week, I have my laptop so…” He paused. “I just, I don’t know what’s going on with John and he’s all over my apartment, I just, if I saw him again today, I don’t think I would be at all ready to talk to him.” Alex explained.

“And that is perfectly okay, Alexander. Do not worry. You can stay as long as you need.” Lafayette gave a small, reassuring smile.

Alex smiled back. “Thanks Laf.”

Alex stayed with Lafayette for the week and on Saturday Angelica flew down to DC despite Alex telling her it wasn’t necessary. He told her multiple times that he was fine to drive back himself, but to put it simply, no one ever said no to Angelica and won. Alex said goodbye to Laf and thanked him for the hospitality repeatedly, and soon Alex and Angelica were on the road heading home. Alex was driving, and Angelica had set herself up in the passenger seat. Depending on how often and long one stopped it was about a 3 hour drive, plus time to get to where you needed to be in NYC.

“I uh, I went to your apartment, and cleared John’s stuff out for you, so that you don’t have to look at it or see it.” Angelica told Alex, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

Alex nodded a bit. “Is he like, done with me?” Alex asked quietly, scared of the answer.

“No, no, nothing like that. I had figured you might feel like that about him, and even if you don’t, I mean, you ran off to DC for a week to avoid seeing John, did you really wanna look at his toothbrush first thing in the morning and get dressed for work with his clothes right there next to yours?” Angelica asked seriously.

“I guess not.” Alex sighed as he admitted it. He wished he could just, turn back time and stop this all before it happened.

“He’s been going to AA meetings, everyday, sometimes twice a day. He hasn’t had anything to drink since the night everything went down.” Angelica reported to Alex.

“Does he remember what he said and did or was he black out drunk?” Alex asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

“He remembers the important bits. He feels really guilty about it too. He knows he fucked up big time.” Angelica looked over at Alex as she spoke.

Alex nodded a bit. “I just,” He sighed. “Things were going so well for us. I don’t understand how he went from bringing me lunch and being a ray of sunshine to shitface drunk and throwing things at me.” Alex admitted.

“I can’t explain what possessed him to walk into that bar but he went off on the bender because of how the alcohol reacted with his meds. It’s not an excuse for anything, but an explanation.” Angelica told Alex.

Alex just nodded.

“In addition to the AA meetings, he went for an appointment with his therapist. And he set up another one.” Angelica added.

“Therapist? I didn’t even know he did therapy.” Alex glanced over at her.

“He was never one for like weekly or even biweekly therapist appointments. He just goes when things get really bad, then stops when they’re better. When it’s bad they help him, when it’s not bad he just, gets annoyed by therapists.” Angelica explained.

“Did it help anything?” Alex asked.

Angelica nodded. “I think so.”

Alex nodded a bit. “It, everything just sucks. Things were going so well for us, I, they were going really well.” Alex sighed.

“I know, Alex, I know.” Angelica said softly. “And I’m not trying to sell you on him or anything here. I’m just, letting you know what’s happening with him. If you never wanted to talk to him again, I don’t think anyone who has half a clue what happened would blame you for it.”

Alex was quiet. “Look in the glove box.” Alex told her.

“The glove box? What for?” Angelica sounded confused.

“Just, do it.” Alex told her.

Angelica opened up the glove box, it was a little messy, but then she spotted what she knew Alex had her looking for, a black, leather, ring box. She picked it up and looked at it. “Alex, is this…” She trailed off, thinking there was no way it was what she thought it was, while knowing all too well that that is exactly what it was.

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I was thinking about doing it like, on his birthday or something, something special that would be memorable. Now I don’t know what to do with it.” Alex sighed a bit.

“Oh Alex.” Angelica said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I just, I mean, I don’t know what I should be thinking or feeling or doing here. I was gonna ask him to marry me, Angie.” Alex sounded upset, but he forced himself to not cry again, because he was driving.

“Well, I can’t tell you what to do or how to handle this, but if you want I can offer you some advice.” Angelica said gently.

“Please.” Alex told her desperately.

“I think you need to figure out your own feelings, you know, ask yourself the tough questions. Do you still want to be with him after this? If so, what does he need to do to fix things? That kinda thing; then once you answer your questions, you should sit down with John, and tell him where you’re at, and sort everything out based on that.” Angelica told him.

Alex nodded a bit and was quiet for a moment. “I, I still love him, I just, I think I just need some time is all.” He told her.

“Take all the time you need, Alex. No one expects you to be fine overnight after what happened.” Angelica reassured him.

Alex nodded a bit and the two fell back into silence.

Alex fell asleep pretty quickly after getting home and spent the day Sunday grocery shopping, tidying the house, and doing meal prep, because his routine was thrown off by his unplanned trip and he wanted to get back to normal as soon as he could. Doing all of this also kept him busy, so he wasn’t thinking about what happened all that much, which he needed.

Alex was finally sitting down and relaxing that evening, and planned to go to bed soon, when his phone went off, with a text from John, who hadn’t reached out or said anything to Alex since he left John’s house after the vase-throwing. Alex opened the message after a moment of consideration.

[Hey, can we please talk? I’m free whenever.]

Alex sighed a bit and thought about it for a minute, then he typed out his response.

[We can meet tomorrow after me and Angelica are off work, 6pm, at that coffee shop where we caught up back in April. I want Angelica there, as a buffer.]

[Does she have to come?] John responded.

[I don’t care if this is about /our/ relationship. Unless Angie is there I’m not. I want her to be a buffer.] Alex stood his ground.

[Okay.] John didn’t send anything after that.

The next day at work Alex was nervous for that evening, and it left him on edge. He was getting coffee in the empty break room just after lunch time when he heard someone come in. He looked over and saw Thomas Jefferson enter the break room. Alex turned back to the coffee maker and hoped- more like prayed, Jefferson wouldn’t try to talk to him.

Despite what Alex hoped, Thomas walked over towards Alex, as he too was looking for a coffee refill. “Hamilton.” He said in greeting.

“Jefferson, just, please, don’t. Not today.” Alex mumbled as he continued to wait for the coffee to finish brewing.

“Something’s wrong with you. I can practically smell it.” Jefferson stated as he stood near Alex, waiting for the coffee pot to finish, just like Alex was.

“I said not today. I don’t want to fight with you right now.” Alex said firmly.

“I’m not trying to tease, or fight, just, making an observation is all.” Thomas defended himself while remaining calm.

Alex wished that the ancient coffee maker would hurry up and finish so he could get his coffee and get out of there. He looked away from Jefferson and hoped he’d take it as a message to leave Alex alone.

Instead, Jefferson moved so Alex could see him again. “Is everything alright, Hamilton? You looked like shit and were- off, the Friday before last, and then you were gone all week last week.” Thomas observed.

“Thanks for the observation.” Alex grumbled, wanting this conversation to be over yesterday.

“I asked a question, Hamilton.” Jefferson said, not letting this go.

“And I elected to not answer it, Jefferson.” Alex said simply.

“Just because we disagree on politics doesn’t mean I can’t be concerned for your well being.” Jefferson pointed out.

“Yeah, but when have you ever been concerned for my well being?” Alex scoffed. “Hell you tried to ruin my reputation and have me fired! Sorry for not exactly believing that you give a rats ass about me."

“It was wrong of me to do that. I’m sorry for accusing you of embezzlement, and using your immigration status against you, and just, all of that shit that I did. It was, unfair, and looking back, I regret my actions.” Jefferson sounded like a politician, but there was a sincerity to his tone that had Alex confused.

“If you’re so sorry then why did you do it?” Alex asked.

“Because you’re the poster child for public service, you’re perfection in Washington’s eyes.” Jefferson admitted.

“Yeah well I can admit that I’m far from perfection.” Alex chuckled sarcastically.

“I just mean, I, you might’ve saved the city millions for the cost of a cup of coffee. You’re dedicated to your work and you were fast to jump in and take the job when it was offered. And you don’t only care about democratic policies but republican too, you try to find ways to support almost every worthwhile bill that comes across your desk and, I guess what I’m trying to say is that, no one could do your job as well as you’re doing it. Washington loves you and I, I don’t know how to live up to that. I guess, I guess I was jealous. I, wrongly, wanted to knock you down a peg.”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “You really mean that?” He asked curiously.

Jefferson nodded. “You don’t get enough credit for all the work you do. You’re handling the job very well, considering what you’ve had to deal with.”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “I was in DC last week, I needed to take some time away.” Alex admitted, not looking at Jefferson as he spoke.

“Mind if I ask why?” Thomas asked.

“Why DC or why time away?” Alex asked in response.

“Both I guess.” Thomas shrugged.

“Well, the trip wasn’t exactly planned, I kinda just, started driving and eventually realized I was headed in the direction of DC. I’m good friends with the French Ambassador who is in DC right now so I went and crashed at his place.” Alex explained to Jefferson.

“You served with him, uh Lafayette, didn’t you?” Thomas asked curiously.

Alex nodded. “Yeah I did.”

“So what happened? Why’d you make a last minute trip to DC?”

Alex was quiet for a moment again. “My boyfriend, John, he uh, he’s an alcoholic and he fell off the wagon. He drank for the first time in 8 years, and things got really bad. He brought home some random guy, nearly cheated on me, then he uh, he kinda got violent.” Alex didn’t know why he was telling Jefferson this, but once he started talking he couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was like word vomit, but unlike most word vomit, Alex felt better after saying it, and didn’t even want to stop if he was 100% honest.

“Violent? How so?” If Thomas wasn’t careful, Alex would be able to detect the hint of concern in Jefferson’s tone.

“He threw a vase at me. It missed, so like, I’m fine, I guess.” Alex shrugged as he said it.

“That doesn’t sound like a very healthy situation, Hamilton, if I’m perfectly honest with you. Especially if this isn’t the first time he’s fallen off the wagon.” Jefferson pointed out. “If I were you I’d get as far away from that guy as I could. I mean, he can say he’s gonna change, but what happens in 6 months when he falls off the wagon again, and does actually cheat? Or he throws another vase and it actually hits you? I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life and I know you didn’t really ask for my opinion but, there’s my two cents.” Jefferson pointed out to Alex.

“Huh.” Alex said. “You uh, you’ve actually given me a lot to think about, Thomas, you make some valid points.” Alex admitted. It felt weird to admit that Thomas was right about something, but at the same time, Alex knew he was probably right to admit it.

“I’m glad I could be of service.” Thomas refilled his coffee and wandered off again, leaving Alex to soak in what Jefferson had told him and question what Alex thought he had settled on in regards to the situation.

Alex sighed and shook his head, just when he thought he had decided on everything, like what he was gonna do about John, and that Thomas  **sucked** , life had to throw him another curve ball, and make him wonder if he had decided right.


	38. Can I Be Real A Second?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of marijuana, mentions of death, talk of military service

John nervously fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater as he waited for Alex to arrive at the coffee shop that evening. Angelica had insisted they come early because John was already on extremely thin ice with Alex and being late would only make things worse. “You really don’t know anything about what he wants to talk about?” John asked Angelica.

“Nope, and even if I did, that’s for him to tell you, not me.” Angelica told John simply.

“Angie are you ever gonna stop being mad at me?” John sounded exasperated as he asked the question.

“Have you apologized to Alex yet?” Angelica asked in response, despite already knowing damn well that John hadn’t.

John looked down at the rapidly cooling coffee he had in his hands. “Not yet.” He mumbled.

“I would do that first, John, then worry about your friendship with me.” Angelica told him simply.

Alex then came into the coffee shop, he ordered himself a drink then came and sat down at the table, across from John and next to Angelica. “Hi John.” He said somewhat awkwardly.

“You actually came.” John mumbled. “I was scared you wouldn’t show.” He admitted quietly.

“I said I would be here, and unlike you, I make good on my promises.” Alex spoke bitterly.

“What promise did I break?” John asked, confused by what Alex had said, he did his best to remain calm and not get angry.

“Your promise to stay sober, John.” Alex told him simply.

John looked at his lap and said nothing. He knew Alex was right about that.

“Look, I didn’t come here to fight any more than we already have. You said you wanted to talk, so what did you want to say?” Alex asked and sipped his coffee.

John took a deep breath and looked up at Alex before starting. “I- I know an apology won’t fix anything, or take back what I did; but I do wanna tell you that I am so incredibly sorry for what I did to you, Alexander. My behavior was totally unacceptable, irresponsible, and reckless, to say the least. None of what happened should’ve happened.”

Alex nodded a bit. “You’re right, it shouldn’t have.” He said simply, he was tracing shapes into the side of his mug as he spoke.

“I don’t really know where you’re at right now, but, I still love you.” John said quietly, looking back down at his drink.

Alex was quiet for a moment, and grateful that John was looking down, and didn’t see the pained expression on his face. Alex glanced at Angelica before turning back to John. “I still love you too, John, but this situation is not as simple as forgiving and forgetting.” Alex started.

“I know that.” John was quick to tell Alex. He knew that it wouldn’t be at all easy to fix this, but he wanted to put the work in. He wanted to fix this, no matter what it took.

“I don’t want to be with someone I can’t trust, John.” Alex continued with what he was saying before John cut in.

John’s heart sank and his body tensed up, preparing for the blow he was about to receive. He hated this, but he knew he only had himself to blame for it.

Alex continued. “But as I said, I still love you, and I owe you some credit.” Alex said the opposite of what John was expecting, simply leaving John confused. “This is the first serious issue we’ve had in 5 months of being together, and you were able to stay sober for 8 years before this. I have to take into account every fact, not just the convenient ones. With that said, I think it’s best we get a break from our relationship. We take some time and space for ourselves, and we can re-discuss the matter when you receive your 30 day AA chip.” Alex told John, sounding like a true lawyer as he said it.

John had untensed when Alex didn’t break up with him, but his face fell when Alex finished speaking. After a moment of processing it all he finally spoke. “That’s fair.” John paused. “Do you, like, want rules for this break?” He asked.

“First, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life; but I’m not going to see anyone else or have- relations, with anyone else, and it might be best if you did the same.” Alex suggested.

“That’s totally fair, I agree, I won’t either.” John got on board with that quite quickly.

“Second, I only want to talk to you unless it’s a real emergency or you’re telling me you’ve got your 30 day chip. The point of this is that we get a  _ break _ from each other, and we can only do that if we don’t talk.” Alex continued with the second ‘rule’ of this break.

“That’s also fair.” John agreed, even if the idea of not talking to Alex killed him a little.

“I want the key to my apartment back, and this is my key to your house.” Alex put the key down on the table and slid it towards John as he laid out the third rule.

John took the key, and then pulled the key for Alex’s apartment off his key ring, and gave it to Alex. It hurt to do it, but if it meant they could fix things later on, he’d do anything. “A- anything else?” He asked. Despite being willing to do anything, he didn’t exactly enjoy doing all of this either.

“I don’t think so.” Alex said and fell silent.

John was quiet too, looking down at the key in his hands. He didn’t want to have it back. It was Alex’s key.

“So that’s all then?” Angelica asked after a moment of both boys being silent.

Alex nodded. “I think so. Yeah. That’s it. Hopefully you’ll be messaging me in 3 weeks, telling me you’ve got the new chip.” Alex told John, sounding unsure that it would actually happen.

John nodded. “I will be, just you wait.” He said confidently, not letting Alex’s lack of confidence in him hinder anything.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” Alex told John simply. “Thanks for coming Angie. I’ll see you around.” Alex said, chugged the rest of his coffee, and left the shop.

John looked at Angelica once Alex was gone. “That was…” He didn’t even know what to say.

“I think that was more than fair.” Angelica said curtly.

John sighed a bit and looked down. “Yeah, it probably was.” He admitted, as much as he wanted not to.

“What are you thinking about?” Angelica asked after letting John mope for a moment.

“I’m thinking I gotta get my 30 day AA chip, and I gotta get back to work.” John said, trying to remain positive.

Angelica nodded a bit. “If I let you go back to work, and you lose another patient, are you gonna fall off the wagon again?” She asked. Despite being angry with John, she did want to see him succeed in this. She did want to see Alex and John get back together if there was any hope in hell of it happening.

John shrugged. “Probably not.”

“If you lost another 5 year old? Or say a pregnant mom? Or a teenager about to graduate high school and go to Harvard?” Angelica asked, because she knew he most likely wasn’t ready.

John was quiet. “Maybe I need a little more time.” He admitted.

“That’s what I thought.” Angelica said, getting up from the table and collecting the mugs to put where used mugs went. “Come on, we gotta head to Eliza and Maria’s, Eliza’s working for another 3 hours and Maria starts work in an hour, so we’re watching Philip until Eliza gets home and then if you want I can take you to a meeting after.”

John nodded a bit and followed Angelica out of the coffee shop.

Soon they were at Eliza and Maria’s. Angelica was in the other room ordering a pizza for dinner and John was sitting with Philip on the floor as the small boy played with his toy cars.

“Uncle John?” Philip asked as he continued to push some toy cars around a hot-wheels ‘garage’ and race track set. He didn’t look up at John as he spoke.

“Yes Pip?” John responded, looking at Philip as he pushed around the car Philip had given him to play with.

“You’re sad. Why are you sad?” Philip asked curiously, still not bothering to look up at John.

John bit his lip. “Because I made a mistake and it’s gonna take a lot of work to fix it buddy.” John explained it in the most child-friendly way he could think of.

“Oh.” Philip said simply. “You can fix it, right?” He asked.

“I really hope so.” John sighed a bit.

“What kind of mistake was it?” Philip continued to focus his attention on his cars.

“A bad one, Pip.” John said simply.

Philip nodded a bit and stopped asking questions.

The next three weeks went by slowly for John, and he had to admit, at times it got pretty hard. There were days he wanted nothing other than a drink, and days where all he wanted was to be held by Alex. But neither things were an option and he knew it. He was back to work by now, and he was at 29 days sober. He was practically bouncing with excitement. He was just 1 day away from getting his 30 day chip, and then Alex would talk to him and hopefully they could get started on actually working things out.

John was finishing up his shift at the hospital for the day, taking a moment before leaving the ER to check when and where the next soonest AA meeting was. Even though he wasn’t a huge fan of religion or the religious aspects of AA, he knew daily AA meetings were important, especially seeing as how his sobriety was still so new and fragile.

John found one, and checked the clock, seeing he was finally officially off, he said goodbye to his co-workers, went and changed into street clothes from his scrubs, then left the hospital and headed to his meeting. He recognized a couple people from other meetings and soon things got underway.

At the end of the meeting John wandered over to the table where coffee and cookies were set up. He wasn’t exactly friends with any specific person at this meeting, but it was always nice to hang around for a couple minutes afterwards, even if he didn’t make much conversation with anyone.

“One more day til your 30 day chip, huh son?” An older gentleman asked John as he walked over to the refreshments table.

“Hmm? Oh yeah. I’m really excited for it actually.” John held out his hand. “I’m John.” He introduced himself.

The man shook John’s hand. “Richard. I remember my 30 day AA chip like it was yesterday. I guess that would’ve been 25 years ago now though.” Richard told John.

“That’s, that’s really impressive.” John told Richard, looking down at the mediocre coffee in his hand.

“It’s not easy getting sober, kid, but when you got a real motivator and people behind you, it makes it a lot easier, but I’m guessing you already know that much. This isn’t your first time getting your 30 day chip, is it?” Richard asked, he had been at a couple meetings with John before.

John shook his head. “Third time. I first got sober 10 years ago but, I didn’t take it all too seriously the first time around. I was a surgical resident at the time and I had no time for regular AA meetings, not to mention that, while I didn’t drink, I wouldn’t pass up smoking pot occasionally. One night shortly after getting my 2 year chip I got high and forgot not to drink. I cleaned things up after that, no more drugs unless prescribed, and obviously no drinking. I was sober for 8 years.” John sighed a bit as he said the last sentence.

“What happened this time around, if you don’t mind me asking?” Richard asked.

“Well I’m a surgeon and, I lost a kid who reminded me of uh, a family member.” John said awkwardly.

“Your own kid?” Richard asked.

“Technically yeah, but, I’m not his dad or anything.” John didn’t jump into the details because typically older AA members actually  **were** really religious, and while most were accepting of pretty much anything, there were still some who would rather not hear about queer things.

“That your choice? Not being your kid’s dad?” Richard obviously assumed it was an issue of custody or something similar.

“Yeah, my choice. I uh, I was a sperm donor for a friend.” John explained. “The kid has two parents who love him like crazy and I’m just his uncle who he happens to look like.”

The older man nodded in understanding. “I can understand why losing any kid would be hard, but one that reminds you of a kid you know?” He shook his head. “I’m surprised you were able to keep it together for 8 years being a surgeon and all.” Richard admitted.

John chuckled a bit. “Yeah, some days can be really hard, it gets easier with time I guess.” He explained.

“What made that night so different then?” Richard asked.

“The kid didn’t seem too bad off overall when he arrived in the ER. I mean like, he wasn’t great off either, but I’d seen kids pull through far worse. Then we got to the OR and everything fell to shit to put it in layman’s terms.” John sighed. “When someone comes in and they look hopeless from the start, it’s no surprise if they don’t pull through. But this kid, he seemed okay upon arrival. Then he just wasn’t.” John shook his head.

“That can’t have been easy.” Richard frowned.

“It wasn’t. After I told the kid’s parents I went, told my boss I was having a rough night and said I was heading home early. I didn’t even realize I walked myself straight to a bar until there was a drink in my hands. It was like I was on autopilot.” John finished the story.

“You got a sponsor, John?” Richard asked curiously.

“I, I had one, but, I’ve always been an independent person for the most part, so when she fell off the wagon and told me she couldn’t sponsor me anymore 5 years go I didn’t really bother to find a new one.” John explained.

“You want a new one, kid?”

“I- are you offering?” John asked in response.

“My sponsee just moved away, it’s hard to sponsor someone in California from New York.” Richard explained.

“I gotta warn you, I work some weird hours, might call at even weirder hours.” John told Richard. “And I’ve dealt with some pretty heavy stuff; drinking didn’t start as a casual hobby in high school for me like it did some people.” He added.

“I don’t mind. If it keeps a good kid like you from drinking again, then so be it. You’ve only got what? A third of your life under your belt?” Richard asked.

“Little more than that, more like, maybe half?” John was honest.

“Well whether it be a half or two thirds of your life left, that’s a long time, and you deserve to live it free and sober, no matter what you’ve been through.” Richard said wisely.

John didn’t seem to want to believe Richard would actually want to help him. “I’ll be straight with you, I served 2 tours in Iraq in the army. My fiance was shot in front of me and died in my arms. Then I saw another love interest get hit with a bomb.” John admitted, almost as if he was trying to scare Richard off.

“Vietnam.” Richard said simply.

John looked confused.

“I served in Vietnam from 1970, to 1973. Joined up when I was just 18.” Richard explained. “Us veterans, we gotta stick together yeah?”

John smiled a bit. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

“You wanna get outta here kid? I know a great spot for food not far from here, sure beats this sad coffee.” Richard chuckled a bit. It was common knowledge that the coffee at meetings was never more than mediocre.

“I’d like that.” John smiled.


	39. That Boy Is Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific Trigger Warnings, however certain themes are still present, but nothing really worth tagging specifically. Enjoy!

The next day, while on his lunch break at work, Alex texted Angelica. Since him and John hadn’t been talking, his lunch hours had become a lot more lonely. They used to be filled with John, who would bring him lunch, or send him lunch, or call him or video chat with him over the lunch hour. Now Alex would eat leftovers or a slightly soggy sandwich he’d made that morning and return to his work the moment he finished eating.

[Please tell me John is gonna call me today and say he has that 30 day chip? I’m still upset with him for what happened, but, I gotta admit, I miss him at the same time.]

Angelica responded a couple minutes later. [I believe he will be, are you ready to talk to him though?]

[I think so, like I said, I miss him, and I would like to think that this will be a good like, wake up call for him I guess? I would hope after almost losing his relationship with me and friendship with you he wouldn’t drink, like ever again.]

[I guess we’ll have to wait and see.] Angelica sent back.

Alex nodded to himself and went back to his work. He didn’t work for very long at all, when he got a notification; a text from John.

Alex was quick to open it, only wondering for a brief second of Angelica had anything to do with this.

[Can we please talk now?] John sent, along with an image of a 30 day AA chip that was different looking than John’s other 30 day chips, so Alex knew it was the new one he had just received.

[I’m still at work. Can we meet at the coffee shop again today?]

[Yes, I’ll be there. When are you off?]

[4pm, as always. Does 5 work for you?] Alex asked, hoping John didn’t have to work.

[Yes it does. I’ll see you then :)]

Alex smiled to himself a little and put his phone away, wanting to get back to work as soon as possible so that the time would hopefully go by faster.

Alex went to the coffee shop quickly after work, making him quite early, but he didn’t care, he was ready to see John after not talking to him or seeing him for 3 weeks. Alex ordered himself a coffee and read the news on his phone, catching up on the latest stories, and as always, checking on how the stock market was doing, pleased to find that his precious Netflix stocks were up.

Alex had quickly stopped at home to drop off his briefcase and such, as he didn’t want to bring that to coffee, and seeing as the shop was only a couple blocks away from his apartment building, he didn’t bother to drive, electing to walk to the cafe instead. Because he decided to walk he figured it would also be best to change out of his work clothes, instead putting on a pair of regular blue jeans and a green zip-up hoodie over a simple grey long-sleeve shirt, because he knew he would get cold. No matter how much time he spent in New York, he never climatized really to it after growing up in Nevis, meaning 55 ° F (or 12 ° C) with a breeze going wasn’t exactly his idea of warm.

Soon John entered the coffee shop, he was early too, as it was only about 4:45. He didn’t bother to order anything, simply coming over and sitting down across from Alex. John was wearing jeans as well with a black t-shirt and his leather jacket, less because he needed it for warmth, more because he liked the pocket space it gave him, and because he figured he looked better with it than in just the jeans and t-shirt. “Hey.” John said simply, not sure what the vibe was supposed to be yet and not wanting to overstep.

“Hi. I’m- I’m happy to see you. I’ve missed you a lot these past couple weeks.” Alex admitted.

“I’ve missed you too.” John said. “I think this was the longest 3 weeks of my life.” He fiddled with his new AA chip, which had been in his hands since he entered the shop.

“You know things aren’t gonna go straight back to normal, right? I mean, just because you got the new chip doesn’t mean what you did is undone.” Alex pointed out, not wanting to give John the wrong message that all was forgiven.

“I know that. But now we’re at least on the road to recovery right?” John asked hopefully.

“Right.” Alex nodded.

John gave a small smile. “Okay, I have a million ideas how to make it up to you, but you’re the one that needs to accept my apology, so uh, if you have any like, ideas on what I should do then I’m listening and totally ready to do whatever it takes to fix this.” John rambled on, admittedly excited that things were finally looking up for the two of them.

“I honestly just, I think we need to take a couple steps back, and work our way towards where we were, you know?” Alex asked.

John nodded. “Yeah, that’s totally fair.” He agreed.

Alex paused for a moment, unsure of what to say next. “Your birthday is coming up, got any plans?” Alex asked, even though John’s birthday was still about 2 and a half weeks away.

“Nothing official.” John shrugged.

“Could I take you to dinner then?” Alex asked.

“Shouldn’t I be the one taking you to dinner right now? I mean, after everything that’s happened, I kinda expected you to be busting my ass to make things up to you.” John chuckled a bit, hoping to lighten the mood.

“I mean, I did think about it a little, but, I decided against it for your sake.” Alex chuckled too, before getting more serious again. “John, it’s still your birthday, if you really think I wouldn’t take you out to dinner on your birthday then I think we have bigger problems.” Alex explained.

“I guess so.” John smiled a bit. “Okay, you’re taking me out for dinner on my birthday, can I take you out for lunch tomorrow? Or if you’re really busy I could bring food to your office and we could eat together?” John asked, desperately hoping that they could.

“Lunch at my office probably works better.” Alex admitted. He stretched and rested his hands on the table.

“Then I’ll bring lunch to your office.” John cautiously put a hand over one of Alexander’s, looking at Alex’s face to make sure it was okay for him to do so.

Alex smiled at John and put his other hand over John’s, as if to hold John’s hand there longer. Alex had to admit that he really did miss all the physical affection John gave him. “I do still love you.”

“I love you too.” John smiled more. “So how has work been going?” He figured it was better to go for a fairly safe topic like that.

“Oh my goodness, you’ll never believe it.” Alex’s eyes widened as he realized John didn’t know about this yet.

“What is it?” John asked.

“Jefferson doesn’t hate me anymore.” Alex stated.

“What? Didn’t he try and like, ruin your reputation a couple months ago? How does he get from that to this?” John asked, confused.

“Yeah, turns out he did it because he was like, jealous or something of how well I was doing at my job. He apologized and now he’s like, being civil towards me. Madison too.” Alex explained.

“Huh, maybe we should take a break more often, seems like it’s the key to turning your enemies into, what? Acquaintances?” John joked.

Alex chuckled a bit. “Even if it is, I don’t wanna take anymore breaks.” He told John truthfully.

“I don’t want to either.” John smiled.

“What about you, how have you been?” Alex asked.

“Good, work is the same old work, but I got my 30 day chip, obviously, and I got a new sponsor too. He’s a Vietnam war veteran and he’s totally chill with me calling him at like, 3 in the morning because I just got off work and there’s no meeting for hours. And he knows all the best places for coffee and donuts and stuff, man there’s this one place in Queens, it’s like, insanely good. I gotta take you there sometime.” John told Alex, proud of the achievements he’d made.

Alex smiled. “Sounds like a good match, I’m glad you got a new sponsor. And I would love to go for this ‘like, insanely good’ coffee with you some time.”

John smiled back. “It feels so good to be talking to you again. I just, gosh, these last three weeks have been so quiet and boring and lonely and Angelica has been so mad at me and Eliza has been, disappointed and it’s just sucked.” John admitted.

“I noticed the Angelica thing,” Alex told John. “I mean, like, I get that she’s a good friend to me but she was to you too. And yet she was so quick to jump in and get really mad at you, it was, weird.” Alex frowned a bit.

“That day, after you drove off to DC I guess, she yelled at me for like, 10 minutes or something. I mean, I know I definitely deserved it but like, it was insane how she was so quick to totally take your side and-” John abruptly stopped.

“John?” Alex frowned a bit.

“I didn’t even think about that before just now.” John mumbled, mostly to himself. “That day, when she was yelling at me, she- she told me how, she at least used to have feelings for you, but she knew I liked you, and you liked me so she stayed quiet.” John explained to Alex. He didn’t know why it had taken so long to realize or remember it, but the sudden realization hit him hard.

“What? No way. Angelica doesn’t do feelings. She doesn’t get attached like that.” Alex shook his head a bit in disbelief. “I honestly wonder if she’s not like, aromantic.” Alex rationalized.

“I dunno, that’s what she told me.” John paused. “But anyway yeah, she took your side and said how she sacrificed a lot for us to be together and how your disappearance hurt her just as much as it did me and she was just, so mad at me.”

“Huh.” Alex gave a weird cross between a scoff and a chuckle. “I never even knew. I mean, we did hook-up that one time, but like immediately after she was just like, ‘that didn’t mean anything’. But hey, that anger must’ve done some good if it got you to stop drinking right then and there.” Alex pointed out.

John nodded a bit. “Yeah, it was- it was definitely scary. I almost feel bad now for this guy who tried to cheat on Peggy once. Man Angelica absolutely lost it on him. I wasn’t even there but like, Eliza could hear it from across the street.”

“She can be quite scary.” Alex chuckled in agreement.

“Damn right she can.” John chuckled as well.

The two continued to catch up, and eventually John, who had taken the ferry and the subway rather than driving, ended up walking Alex back to his apartment. As they got in front of the main doors of the apartment building Alex turned to John. “Today was really nice, I’m glad we’re talking again. I think the break was, necessary, but I did miss you a lot. I missed our lunch dates, and cooking dinner together, and hugs and like, physical affection in general.” Alex admitted.

“I agree. I missed that kinda stuff too.” John smiled a bit. “Can I kiss you? Or is it too soon?” He asked after a moment.

“I never said anything about us not kissing.” Alex smirked a bit as he said it.

“Yeah? I wonder why?” John teased.

Alex stuck his tongue out at John.

“You’re a child, Alexander.” John chuckled.

“Nuh-uh.” Alex purposely said it to sound more childish, unable to keep from grinning as he did it.

John rolled his eyes. “One second.” He said, he pulled his phone out and turned it off. “No interruptions this time.” He explained.

“You sure?” Alex asked teasingly.

“To the best of my knowledge I can say that the chances of us being interrupted are slim to none.”

Alex smiled at him and stepped closer to John, but didn’t initiate anything yet.

John cupped Alex’s cheek and began to kiss him when suddenly, right on brand for them, they were interrupted.

“Can’t you take your making out somewhere else? I’m walkin’ ‘ere!” An older man exclaimed in a heavy New York accent as he left Alex’s building and walked by Alex and John.

Alex looked at John and began laughing, John quickly joining him in laughing at the irony of the situation.

As they calmed down they stepped away from the door a little and tried again, getting much further this time. John kissed Alex, and Alex happily kissed back. The kiss intensified for a second, before Alex pulled away.

“If we keep this up, I’d probably end up inviting you back to my apartment…” Alex explained.

“Of course, I get it. We’re taking a step back and that isn’t exactly stepping back.” John quickly reassured Alex.

“Right.” Alex nodded a bit. “I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch, and I’ll be sure to call Angelica and tell her she can be nice to you again.” Alex told John.

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch. Any preferences?” John asked.

“Maybe Lebanese food? From that one place near the subway station?” Alex suggested, knowing John would know what he was talking about.

“Sounds wonderful.” John smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow at noon.” He stole a quick peck of Alex’s lips, and began his walk to the subway station to head home.

Alex watched John walk off with a smile on his face, before heading into the building and up to his apartment. As he got into the apartment he called Angelica.

“Hey Alex.” Angelica said as she answered the phone. It sounded like she was in her car based on the background noise.

“Hi Angie, you’re not just leaving work are you?” Alex asked, it was nearly 7pm.

“Big court case tomorrow, lots of preparation to do.” Angelica explained. “So what’s up, how did coffee with John go?” She asked.

“It went really well. We both really missed each other, so.” Alex told her as he began getting things ready to make dinner.

“You better not just be going right back to normal. What he did is still unforgivable.” Angelica warned.

“We’re not. I told him I wanted to take a step back and work our way back to where we were. Part of me wanted to invite him back to my place after coffee, but I didn’t.”

“Good. You need to make him earn your forgiveness. Bust his ass. Make him work for your love.”

Alex chuckled a bit. “I think he’s doing a fine job of busting his own ass. He was shocked that I asked if I could take him out for dinner on his birthday. He really thought I wasn’t gonna do anything.”

“Huh.” Was all Angelica said.

“You know, you really do need to stop being so harsh on him. He’s working really hard to make things better between us, and I think at this point, he needs a friend now, not a strict, angry, bossy older sister.” Alex told her.

“Alex, I, he really hurt you. I’m just, trying to look out for you is all.” Angelica explained herself.

“I get that, but I can take care of myself.” Alex paused. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your feelings for me in Iraq, would it?” Alex asked after a moment.

“John told you about that huh?” Angelica asked in response.

“Yeah he did.”

Angelica sighed a bit. “Okay, first off, it’s all in the past now I promise. I just wanted to see you happy and loved, so when John did all that to you, I- I saw red. I pushed aside my feelings so you two could be happy and John was actively making you unhappy.” Angelica explained.

“Thank you, for that, Angelica, but I’m much happier now. And I’ll be even happier when our friend group acts like a friend group again. And that can’t happen until you make up with John.” Alex explained.

Angelica sighed a bit. “I’ll do my best to stop being so harsh with him.” She promised.

“Thank you.” Alex smiled a bit. Things really were looking up now.


	40. Can I Buy You A Drink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Alcohol, mentions of cancer, talk of death

The next day John brought Alex lunch at work and ate it with him. Things weren’t right back to normal, but they were certainly making quick work on the road to recovery. As Alex’s lunch break- which was full of smiles and laughs as John joked and charmed his way back into Alex’s arms- came to an end, they shared a quick kiss and John left Alex’s office. Alex was smiling and looking down at his desk, not noticing that Thomas Jefferson was leaning against the doorway to Alex’s office until Alex looked up.

“Jesus Christ Jefferson, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Alex asked, startled when he noticed Jefferson.

“Why? You wouldn’t happen to be at risk for one, would you?” Thomas wiggled his eyebrows and joked. “No, I was just curious, that’s John?” He asked.

“Yeah, that’s him.” Alex nodded.

“Not what I pictured.” Thomas admitted, shaking his head a bit. “I gotta admit, he’s not bad on the eyes.”

“He’s also taken Thomas.” Alex glared at him. “Besides, since when do you swing that way?” He asked.

“Probably since I saw Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo and Juliet when I was in high school. I was never one for labels, I’m more of a, whatever opportunity presents itself kinda guy.” Thomas explained. “If I had to put a label on it, it would probably be bisexual though. I mean, I loved my wife but some guys, wow.”

Alex snorted. “And yet you still call yourself a Republican.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “My political stance is not what I came to talk to you about.” He told Alex as he walked into Alex’s office and plopped himself in the chair John had just vacated.

“Then what did you come in here for?” Alex asked.

“Just, curious I guess, about what’s going on with you and John. You two seemed pretty happy during your lunch break.”

“We were. Why does that matter?” Alex and Thomas hadn’t gotten close enough over the last 3 weeks to be having this conversation.

“Look, I wasn’t there when he went on his supposed bender and did what he did to you, nor was I there when you talked to him to sort things out, but if I were you I’d be keeping him at arm's length, like I said a couple weeks back. However that lunch date looked more like you were keeping him  _ no further _ than arm's length.” Thomas explained.

Alex shifted uncomfortably. “So?” He asked.

“I fail to see what he possibly could’ve said or done to fix things so quickly. I guess I’m curious, is all.” Thomas shrugged.

“You’re addicted to gossip, is what you are. I swear, you and Lafayette are like, the same person, just raised two entirely different ways.” Alex shook his head.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “So feed my addiction then.”

“I made him wait until he had his new 30 day chip. We didn’t talk at all for 3 weeks. And from what he’s said I think he’s really gonna stay sober for good this time. Our friend scared the living shit out of him and he’s got a new sponsor who seems to be a really good fit for him.” Alex defended his decision to the very man who had influenced him to stray from his original plan in the first place. “Why do you care so much?”

Thomas ignored the question. “How long was he sober for last time?”

“8 years. You gonna answer the question?” Alex asked.

“Take me out for a drink before you try and get me to reveal my trauma, would you?” Thomas joked. “I’ll just say that I guess I’m just trying to like, watch out for you or whatever.” He admitted.

“I’ve already got a different strong willed person doing that.” Alex referred to Angelica. “Thomas, whatever your experience was, I bet mine is far different. John wouldn’t actually hurt me. He loves me. He’s crazy sorry and he’s doing everything to make it up to me. He had one really bad night at work. And I know that probably sounds like I’m sweeping things under the rug, but I’ve spent a lot of time thinking over this. I’m sure what I’m doing is the right thing and if you had half a clue what I’ve been through in my life, you’d know that this is really quite low on the list of shitty things. I mean, really, Thomas, if you were the one who had to announce that a kid was dead to his mothers, wouldn’t you want to pick up a drink afterwards?” Alex defended John.

“I probably would but I’m not an alcoholic. I’m just saying, I’d tread lightly here if I were you.” Thomas pointed out.

“Thomas if you keep this up I might begin to think you actually care for me.” Alex warned.

Thomas chuckled a bit. “Can’t have that now can we.”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “You know, when you aren’t talking politics, you actually don’t seem completely awful.” He admitted.

“I can’t tell if that was a compliment or an insult.”

“It’s supposed to be a compliment.” Alex told Thomas.

“Huh, wow, I never thought this day would come. A compliment from Hamilton. A dark piece of my wounded soul has been healed.” Thomas said dramatically in a joking manner.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha.” He said sarcastically.

“So, would you ever like to go out for a drink?” Thomas asked after a moment.

“You realize that I am taken, right? Plus you’re not my type.”

“You wound me.” Thomas continued to speak dramatically. “I know you’re taken, and I never said you were my type either. It’s a drink between work colleagues. Come on, James is out of town on some family business and I’m lonely.” Thomas explained.

“I never understood that. You and James both love Virginia so much. Why move here and get into New York politics?” Alex asked.

“I’ll tell you the answer to that, over drinks.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Fine. Maybe I can get you drunk enough to reveal something embarrassing that I can use against you.” He joked.

“You free tonight? I mean, after all it is Friday: an ideal day for drinking.” Thomas asked.

“I am free. John is working late and I don’t have any other plans.”

“Perfect. I’ll arrange everything.” Thomas smiled a bit. “Any suggestions or requests?”

“Nowhere sleazy, not that that should be a problem anywhere with you, and-” Alex stopped. “Nope. Nothing else.” He chuckled to himself.

“What were you going to say?” Thomas asked, amused.

“For half a second I forgot what we were doing and not that I plan to get drunk- but it wouldn’t be wise to drive and yet I almost requested nowhere too busy, because I drive almost everywhere.”

Thomas chuckled a bit. “Certainly not wise. Though you say the driving thing as though I don’t. You really think I would take the subway?” Thomas’s face scrunched up at the thought. “Not in a million years. What’s your excuse? I figured you would be right at home on the subway.” Jefferson jabbed, it was how him and Alex communicated, cheap shots and jokes at both the other and their own expenses, combined with lots of eye rolls and sarcasm.

Alex rolled his eyes. “The subway truly is disgusting, and it’s not the most friendly place for amputees.” He told Thomas.

Thomas seemed surprised for a moment. “Amputees?” He asked.

Alex stood up and pulled up his left pant leg, showing off the metal bar that acted as his lower leg.

“I never even knew.” Thomas admitted. “I mean, sometimes I see your car in like, handicap spots but, I never even thought about it really.” He explained.

Alex shrugged. “That’s kinda the goal. Now get out, I have work to get done, unlike some people.” Alex meant Thomas when he said ‘some people’. “I already have to spend more time with you later. I can only take so much of you in one day.”

Thomas rolled his eyes but got up. “Later Hamilton.” He then left.

Alex finished with his work day and headed home to change and have dinner before going out with Thomas, which still sounded weird in his head. He was wasting time until it was time to leave when his phone rang, he happily answered John’s phone call.

“Hey, I though you were at work.” Alex said as he answered.

“Yeah but I had a couple minutes, so I thought I’d just call and say hi and ask how your day went.”

Alex smiled to himself. “That’s sweet. How’s work going?”

“Pretty slow actually, no serious traumas yet today so.”

“You say that like it’s such a horrible thing.” Alex chuckled. “Hey babe?” He asked after a second.

“Yes dear?” John asked.

“What does one wear to drinks with a colleague? Wait, that’s wrong of me to ask you, I’m sorry, forge-” Alex couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to ask John that.

“It’s fine dear.” John reassured him. “Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean I haven’t gone out with colleagues before. I just, don’t drink any alcohol when I do. One who prefers to dress more masculine would wear dress pants, and a dress shirt. Tie and suit jacket if it’s a fancy place.” John informed Alex. “Who are you going out with?” He asked curiously.

“You’re not gonna believe it.” Alex told him.

“Who?”

“Thomas Jefferson.”

“Why?” John asked. “Like, okay he apologized but what, now you’re friends? Since when?” John almost sounded upset.

“He’s- he’s not actually a terrible guy when you avoid talking about politics.” Alex admitted. “Anyway, Madison is away taking care of some family stuff and I guess Thomas is just, lonely. I’m indulging him because hey, maybe if I’m nice to him when I need his vote at work on a proposal I’ll be more likely to get it.” Alex explained, not picking up on John’s feelings.

“It’s- it doesn’t mean anything, right? I mean, I know I don’t have much room to talk after the stunt I pulled but…” John trailed off.

Alex realized how this might be appearing to John. “John, baby, my love for you is never in doubt. I promise, this means absolutely nothing.” Alex reassured.

“Okay, I just, he’s kinda known for flirting with people he shouldn’t be is all, but I trust you.” John told Alex honestly.

“Thank you.” Alex said. “Alright, I’m gotta go get ready. I’ll call you in the morning?”

“Sounds good. I love you.” John told him.

“Love you too John.” Alex smiled to himself as the call ended. 

Alex got ready and took a taxi to where Jefferson told him they would meet for drinks. It was a nice, small, quiet place with a very modern look to it and most people there were dressed up quite nicely, it certainly wasn’t like any regular old bar. Alex walked over to the table he saw Thomas sitting at; a booth on the far side of the bar.

“You made it.” Thomas smiled a bit. “I was beginning to wonder if you were even gonna show.” He teased.

“Yeah, I forgot that taxi drivers literally only take main drags and get stuck in traffic and take forever just to run the meter up.” Alex shook his head, thinking about the very expensive taxi ride he’d just taken.

Thomas nodded a bit. “I hope I picked a good place.”

Alex nodded. “This is, this is actually quite nice, it’s not loud, no one’s rowdy. the music is good and at a good volume, I don’t think anyone is coming here to get shitfaced.” Alex said. It was definitely more of a business-related-drinking place, like where you’d meet up to sell a property or something.

“At least not intentionally.” Thomas chuckled. “It’s a little on the pricier side, but it is worth not having to deal with cross-faded college kids puking everywhere.” He shuddered a bit at the memories it brought up.

Alex chuckled.

A waitress then came over and took their drink orders.

“So, Thomas, you and James work in New York politics, why?” Alex asked. He admittedly had been curious for a long time.

“We both have aspirations for far higher level politics, New York is really a stepping stone. NYC mayor is a stepping stone for becoming the governor of New York, and New York governors are typically seen as good presidential candidates.” Thomas explained. “I don’t mind New York, however I’ll always be a Virginian at heart. And hey, I mean I’ll be forty by the time I finish this term as city councilor, and who knows at this point if Washington will run for reelection. I need all the status and help New York can give me, and James does as well.” Thomas told Alex.

“Huh, I never really thought of it that way.” Alex said as the waitress brought their drinks. He thanked her and turned back to Thomas.

“My wife thought I was absolutely crazy, but hey, if it works, it works, right?” Thomas asked and sipped his drink.

“You’ve mentioned a wife twice now, but you don’t wear a wedding ring and you show up to every political event dateless.” Alex pointed out. “What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” He asked.

Thomas sighed a bit and looked down at his drink. “We married young, right after university. We were high school sweethearts. She got sick about 4 years ago, cancer. She wasn’t strong enough to beat it.” Thomas paused. “She wanted me to move on and be happy, but I promised her I would never remarry, even though she told me I could. I miss her almost everyday.” He explained.

“I’m sorry to hear, I didn’t know. I honestly thought you were a bachelor.” Alex admitted. Seeing this Thomas; solemn, serious Thomas was unsettling to say the least.

Thomas shook his head. “Widower, and a father, not that I think my daughter likes me all that much.” Thomas sighed as he took another sip of his drink.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“She was 10 when her mother died. I didn’t know how to raise a child, still don’t really think I’m doing it right. I have some help, but it’s tricky in New York away from our family. She has the best of everything, goes to one of the best schools money can pay for, but she never talks to me anymore. She used to all the time. Now she doesn’t.” Thomas explained. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, I haven’t really told anyone this. I don’t know what answers I’m looking for you to give me here, I mean, the day I find out you have a kid is the day I move back to Virginia.” Thomas said it seriously, but meant it as a joke.

Alex rolled his eyes, something he realized he did a lot in Thomas’ presence. “Well I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that any time soon. Last I checked you need a penis and a vagina involved to make a kid, and I’m fairly sure my relationship consists of two dicks.” Alex pointed out. “I don’t think your daughter hates you.” He added after a moment.

“But she doesn’t talk to me anymore.” Thomas repeated himself.

“You said she was 10 when your wife died years ago so she’s 14 now, right?” Alex asked. “She’s just being a teenager. I mean, when you were 14 did you tell your parents much of anything?” Alex pointed out wisely.

“I guess not. Who would’ve thought I’d be spending my night at a bar getting parenting advice from Alexander Hamilton.” Thomas chuckled.

“I did not expect my evening to be going like this either.” Alex chuckled as well. “I mean, you have a whole ass child that I didn’t even know existed.”

“I guess so.” Thomas chuckled.

If only they could see what the night had in store for them yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Thomas Jefferson's wife IRL asked him to never remarry before she died when Thomas was just 43, and he promised her he wouldn't. He didn't remarry, keeping his promise. He simply became a hoe for the rest of his life. I guess that's why he was able to get away with having his bed in the hallway between his room and his office.
> 
> Also, this chapter was actually really fun to write. I like Alex and Thomas' relationship a lot


	41. Stay Alive Until This Horror Show Has Passed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how in Act 2 of Hamilton one shitty thing happens after another and like, the angst just keeps coming? Yeah, about that...
> 
> TW: Alcohol, car accident, blood, somewhat graphic descriptions of injuries, being trapped inside a building(?), severe blood loss

Alex and Thomas had been talking for a while, maybe an hour. Neither of them were drunk, but they were both getting a little bit tipsy at this point.

“So why are you so,” Alex paused, trying to think of the right word to use. “Weird? I guess? About alcoholics?” Alex asked Thomas, unsure if ‘weird’ was even the right word.

Thomas sighed a bit. “My father was an alcoholic, but unlike your John, he never committed to sobering up.” Thomas looked down at his drink. “Alcoholics that aren’t sober don’t make good parents or spouses. He yelled a lot and just, wasn’t nice to put it simply. He was white and when he was drunk he was racist, and he was drunk a lot. He favored two of my siblings who were lighter, over me, my sister, and my mother, because we were darker. I think the best thing he honestly ever did for our family was dying.” Thomas explained. “I mean, my childhood wasn’t as terrible as some people’s and there certainly was a degree of privilege from having such an affluent parent, but, it still wasn’t great.”

“Wow. That’s a lot.” Alex didn’t even know how to respond to what Thomas had just told him.

“What about you? Any childhood trauma?” Thomas asked to move the attention away from himself, which was rare for him to do.

“My entire childhood was a traumatic event.” Alex chuckled a bit. “I grew up on a poverty-ridden island, we weren’t destitute but, it wasn’t easy. My dad walked out on me and my mom when I was 10 and took my brother with him. 2 years later I got sick and my mom got sick taking care of me, she died laying in bed next to me. Then I was an orphan and had to work my way to America facing basically every single obstacle on the way. Oh and there was also a hurricane somewhere in there that killed a ton of people and I was stuck outside during it.” Alex said all this like it was nothing. The truth was, when he wanted to be, he could be completely numb to his childhood.

“Damn Ham. I thought I had it rough.” Jefferson admitted.

Alex rolled his eyes. “‘Damn Ham’? That was corny as hell.”

“So what if it was?” Thomas said, as the waitress walked by. He waved her over. “Be a lamb dear and bring us another round please?” He asked.

She nodded a bit. “Right away sir.”

“I love this place. I don’t even remember how I found it but goddamn I love it. I almost never drink anywhere else.” Thomas told Alex.

“I’m not a huge drinker, and I go out to drink even less but when I do go drinking I’ll definitely keep this place in mind for sure.” Alex nodded in agreement.

Thomas nodded. “It really is a nice place.” He said and looked over, smiling as he saw the waitress making her way back to their table with their drinks.

Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound, combined with yelling, a steady car horn, and the screeching of tables scraping against the floor as they were forced out of the way as an SUV plowed through the front of the bar, not stopping until most of the vehicle was in the bar. Glass and bits of drywall went flying everywhere, and the lights had gone out in the small bar. The bar’s alarm system was blaring. The SUV took up most of the space in the bar. There was the row of booths Alex and Thomas had been sitting in on one side of the SUV, and the bar-counter on the other side with maybe a foot and a half of space on either side of the vehicle.

This quickly took Alex and Thomas from tipsy to sober, at least mind-set wise. Alex took a second to get his eyes used to the sudden lack of light, though lucky there were some emergency lights that had gone on when the alarm went off. Alex looked around, their waitress had been coming around the bar counter to their table when the SUV came in. Not to mention that there had been people sitting at the table that had been against the wall at the front of the bar, where the car crashed into. Alex took a couple breaths to calm himself and gather his thoughts, making a fast plan of action, seeing as no one else was making a move to step up and deal with the situation.

“Thomas, call 911, report this and tell them that at least 3 people have been injured, possibly deceased.” Alex commanded. Alex then got up out of the booth and used his phone flashlight to look for the other bar patrons that had been in front of the window the SUV crashed through. He went over to the first one, who had ended up on the same side of the SUV as the booths. Unfortunately, it quickly became clear they were beyond help if they even were still alive. Alex sighed a bit and went to the front of the car, near where the waitress was laying on the ground, she was obviously awake and very much alive. She was shaking and Alex saw obvious injuries.

“Hey, listen, look at me. I’m Alex.” He introduced himself to her. “Why don’t you start by telling me your name? I think you told me but I honestly forgot.” He remained calm as he spoke, because freaking out wouldn’t do anyone any good.

“It- it’s okay. My name is R- Rebecca.” She stuttered out, terrified and probably in a lot of pain.

“Good. Are you in any pain, Rebecca?” Alex asked. He was no doctor, but basic military training involved some pretty thorough first aid training, and while it had been a long while, he hadn’t forgotten it. He was good at remembering things like that.

“I think my leg is crushed under the wheel, and uh, my stomach hurts, a lot.” Rebecca told Alex.

Alex nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna do my best to help you. I’m not a doctor, but I have some pretty high level first aid training, alright?” Alex told her as he looked at her injuries. She was right about her leg being crushed, it was bleeding too, and in the side of her stomach was a large piece of glass that had cut right through her white shirt, staining the cloth around it with red. The glass was likely from one of the drink glasses she’d been carrying. “Okay, Rebecca, listen, you have a large piece of glass in your side, it’s probably why you’re in so much pain, but it is very important that you do  **not** pull it out, it’s keeping the blood inside your body and we don’t know what it might’ve hit. Removing it could be disastrous.” He explained.

She nodded a bit. “Okay.”

“Your leg is crushed, and it’s bleeding badly, probably because the tire shredded the skin and maybe the muscles beneath it and all the debris made things worse. I’m gonna tie a tourniquet to help stop the bleeding, okay?” Alex informed her, quickly pulling off the tie he was thankful he wore and tying the tourniquet around her upper leg, careful to tie it tight enough but not too tight and completely cut off circulation.

“T- the alarm.” Rebecca mumbled. “It means that the d- doors are locked. They can’t unlock unless the code is put in and the k- k- keypad is- it’s gone.” She explained to Alex, seeming to panic over this.

“Don’t worry about that, okay? The first responders will know how to deal with it.” Alex reassured her. “Just focus on staying still and taking good, deep, even breaths okay? Panicking won’t help anyone. I’m gonna go check and see if anyone else is injured.” He started to get up.

She grabbed his right leg as he started to get up. “Please don’t leave me, Alex, please.” She asked, sounding scared. She couldn’t have been older than 21 and this was probably the most terrifying thing she’d ever lived through.

“You’re alright Rebecca, I’ll be right back, okay? I just gotta check on everyone else.” Alex reassured her and got up. He climbed over some of the tables that had been pushed around by the SUV as there was no way around them to the other side of the bar. The second window-seat person was taking gasping breaths, Alex went over to him. Like with Rebecca he introduced himself. However this guy was in far worse shape, like the woman he had been with. Alex talked to the man and did what he could to comfort and soothe him, knowing that the second the man was moved he would likely bleed out in seconds. Alex didn’t even know where each injury he faced ended and the next one started, and he knew it was all far above what Alex had been trained for.

“Just stay still, sir, okay? Stay incredibly still, it’s important. There’s nothing I can do for you with the little equipment I have, however the first responders will have lots of equipment, alright? You just need to hang on until they get here. I’m gonna find someone to come keep you some company, and I’ll come back to check on you soon, okay?” Alex reassured him.

“Okay.” The man said quietly.

Alex made his way back over the mess of tables, cringing as his prosthetic didn’t move the way he wanted and it pulled, he didn’t take time to worry about himself though as he went to the driver’s window. He did the driver last because he was the one who caused this, Alex didn’t think he should get priority over the people he’d injured. The driver was a younger guy, maybe 19 or 20. He had a large obvious head injury, and was unconscious, but upon checking for a pulse Alex found there was one. Alex nodded to himself, he knew what to do for this, but he needed more supplies than what he had in his pockets.

Alex moved and went over to Thomas, who was still on the phone, still sitting in the booth. “Well?” He asked.

“They’ve dispatched fire and rescue but it seems the SUV driver may have caused a couple accidents in the area, they’re having a hard time getting here.” Thomas explained. “They asked me to stay on the line and give updates.”

“Alright. We’ve got one deceased, one basically hopeless, one stable with a crushed leg and a penetrating injury to the lower left quadrant, and a fourth unconscious with stable-ish vitals.” Alex reported, surprising himself with how professional he sounded. John probably had something to do with that.

Thomas relayed this to the 911 operator. “Anything else?”

“Bar employee said that the alarms are going off which means the doors are locked and the keypad to put the code in is gone.” Alex paused and lowered his voice. “And I think I smell gasoline.” He added quietly so only Thomas could hear.

Thomas’s eyes widened a bit and he nodded, relaying this to the operator. “I’m guessing you know the medicine stuff from the army?” He asked.

Alex nodded. “It just, never leaves you I guess.” He then went back over to Rebecca. “Hey Rebecca, how are you feeling?” He asked as he checked the tourniquet, which seemed to be doing it’s job, but it didn’t mean Rebecca wasn’t still losing blood.

“Drowsy, really drowsy.” Rebecca admitted. “Is help on the way?” She asked.

“Yes, help is coming. I need you to try and stay awake for me, okay? It’s most likely the blood loss. I’m gonna have my friend come keep you some company, but I can’t promise he won’t try and flirt with you. If he does just remind him you’re probably closer in age to his daughter than you are to him.” Alex instructed.

“Company sounds good.” Rebecca nodded a bit.

“Thomas, come sit with her, please, keep her awake.” Alex asked.

Thomas nodded a bit and came over to Rebecca.

Alex then hopped across the tables again, not paying any mind to how it was rough on his prosthetic. Alex made his way to the bar counter, where the bartender was trying to keep the few other bar patrons, who had been sitting at the bar counter, calm. “Hey, I need like, uh, napkins or clean towels, anything you’ve got, a sharpie maybe, and if you have any tape, and obviously a first aid kit would really be ideal. Help is on the way but they’re having difficulty getting here, it might be a while.” Alex explained to the bartender.

“I’ll see what I can scrounge up.” The bartender said and took off towards the back.

“That man on the ground there, he’s in bad shape isn’t he?” An elderly lady who had been sitting at the bar asked Alex.

Alex nodded. “He is. It’s highly unlikely he’s gonna make it out of here.” He said solemnly.

“Oh dear.” She frowned, and put a hand on her chest. “Can I keep him company? I’ve worked in end of life care for a long time, I would like to think that I could be of some use here, you’re doing so much, I would like to help.” She told Alex.

“As long as you aren’t injured then please do.” Alex nodded. “But don’t tell him he’s dying, he doesn’t realize it, and it would probably only make it harder.” Alex told her.

She nodded. “I’m alright. It just feels good to be of use. I’ve got him.” She smiled a bit and went over to the man.

The bartender then came back with a small first aid kit, some clean towels and a sharpie as well as a roll of duct tape. “This good?” He asked.

“Perfect.” Alex nodded and took it. “Is there a keypad for the doors or alarm system in the back or was the front one the only one?” Alex asked.

“There’s one in the manager's office which is locked, and the spare key is in the locked register, which is tied to the alarm system. I’m gonna try and pry it open though, I mean, the doors have gotta get opened somehow.”

“Good. Let me know if you get it, I assume you’re in charge here tonight so I’ll tell you this,” Alex said and leaned over the bar more so he wouldn’t have to speak as loudly. “I think the car is leaking gas, and if it is, time is of the essence here.” He explained.

The bartender nodded. “Got it.” He paused. “Rebecca, the waitress, is- is she okay? She’s like, our best waitress.” He explained.

“She’s holding up.” Alex told the bartender then took the supplies and hopped over the tables again, which was getting harder and harder on his artificial limb, but the adrenaline was keeping him from noticing any pain it might have been causing.

“Alexander, she's getting really weak.” Thomas said, sounding a bit worried as Alex walked by them.

“It’s the blood loss.” Alex frowned. “Go ask the bartender for some juice, with a straw, try and get her to drink, it’ll keep her sugars up.” Alex told Thomas, then went back to the driver of the car, who was beginning to stir.

“Sir, can you hear me?” Alex asked as he opened the first aid kit and grabbed some gauze, pressing it to the head wound the kid had right near his hairline.

“What happened?” The guy asked groggily.

“Sir you crashed your vehicle into a bar. You need to stay perfectly still, you could have spinal fractures and if you move that could be very bad. What’s your name?” Alex explained to him.

“David. I was just, driving and, suddenly I started feeling sick, and then I black out and I wake up here.” He sounded confused.

“Alright.” Alex said as he used some medical tape from the first aid kit to tape the gauze on the guy’s forehead. “Are you in any pain?” Alex asked as he worked.

“My head is killing me, chest too.” David mumbled.

“Yeah, your head hurts because it looks like you might’ve hit the windshield. Your chest was probably slammed into the steering wheel before your airbag deployed. Try and stay calm and take deep steady breaths.” Alex told him.

“I wasn’t drunk, if that’s what you think.” The kid told Alex, beginning to turn to look at him.

Alex quickly stopped him. “No. Moving.” He repeated. Alex looked into the car a little, seeing construction equipment, including a fair amount of lumber. “You in construction, kid?” Alex asked as he moved and opened the door behind the drivers door, looking at the various pieces of wood the kid had in the back of his car.

“Y- yeah. Why?” David sounded confused.

Alex grabbed a piece of plywood that was about the width of a car-seat and about 3 feet long, most likely a scrap piece from something else. He grabbed it. “Having this wood makes my job a lot easier. Your career choice might be saving your ability to walk.” Alex explained. Alex closed the door and came back to the kid, actually opening the driver’s door this time. “I’m gonna put this behind you and then tape your head and torso to it so you can’t move as easily, if you have a spinal injury it’ll keep it from worsening. I can’t promise it’ll work, but it’s better than nothing.” Alex explained, and did just that. He then added more gauze to David’s head wound. “Alright, hang tight, I’m gonna check on everyone else.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“Don’t be.” Alex then moved and looked around the bar. Thomas was helping Rebecca drink some juice and the bartender could be seen working away at trying to bust open the cash register. 

Alex knelt down next to Rebecca and Thomas. “How are you feeling Rebecca?” He asked.

“Pretty shitty to be honest.” She gave a weak chuckle.

Alex chuckled too. “That’s fair. Just hang in there.” Alex told her and got up. He was hoping over the tables yet again to check on the man and the older lady when he noticed it. As if they needed anything more to deal with, there was a small amount of smoke coming from beneath the hood of the car.


	42. A Test Of Our Bravery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Car accidents, blood, descriptions of injuries, mentions/talk of death, talk of fire

Alex’s eyes widened as he realized they were running out of time much faster than before. He stopped moving across the tables and went back to Thomas and Rebecca. “Thomas, are you still on the line with 911?” He asked quickly.

Thomas nodded. “Yeah I am.”

“How far away are they?” Alex asked, doing his best to remain calm despite starting to feel a bit panicked.

Thomas turned his attention to the phone. “How long until help arrives now?” He asked, then paused as he listened to the answer. “They say about 5-10 more minutes.” He told Alex.

“Tell them to hurry up. We’re out of time, the car is starting to smoke.” Alex said quietly to Thomas, but Rebecca heard him.

“The car is on fire?” She asked, suddenly beginning to panic. Her breathing became rapid and she began squirming, despite the pain it seemed to cause her. The movement made blood leak from the wound on her side, staining her shirt further.

Alex cringed a bit upon seeing Rebecca’s wound worsen. “You have to stay calm. It’s not on fire yet.” Alex reassured her.

“Alex you have to get me out from under this car.” Rebecca said desperately, sounding panicked and like she was trying not to cry.

“I know, I know, I’m gonna do everything I can to keep you safe, okay?” Alex promised her, despite not knowing how much more he could do for her.

She nodded a bit. “Okay. Okay. I just- I have to get out of this bar. I have to.” She told him.

Alex nodded a bit. “I know, Rebecca, I know.” He told her and looked around, taking tally of how many people were in the bar. There was him, Thomas, Rebecca, the driver, the bartender, two more people sitting at the bar, the old lady, and the seemingly-hopeless guy. 9 people. He frowned. He looked around, desperate for a way to get everyone he possibly could out of the bar.

Then an idea hit him. 

Alex got up and went over to David.

“Does you hatch open up and down or sideways?” Alex asked quickly. There was debris resting on top of the back of the car, but if it opened sideways, there was a chance that maybe the door could be opened. But only if it opened sideways, and people could get out of the bar through the vehicle.

“Uh, sideways, why?” David asked, confused.

“Can your key open the hatch? Or can you open it from in there?” Alex asked, ignoring David’s question.

David nodded. “The key can. It’s in my front left pocket.”

Alex nodded and grabbed the and hit the button, the hatch popped, but barely moved because of the debris. “We’re gonna try and open the hatch and then everyone can get out through your car, so I hope you don’t mind.”

“I made this mess, it’s the least I can do.” David told Alex reassuringly.

“Thanks.” Alex told David. He went back over to Thomas, who was reassuring Rebecca. He wasn’t and hadn’t been flirting with her surprisingly. Thomas was more acting like a dad towards her, and if Alex had time to think about it for more than a second he would be proud of it, but now really was not at all the time.

“Thomas, you work out a lot, yeah?” Alex asked. It was no secret that Thomas was in very good shape, working out lots and eating fairly healthy, sometimes gross looking or sounding foods.

Thomas nodded. “I do. Why?” He asked.

“Leave your phone with Rebecca for a moment. I need you to come help me force the hatch of the car open so people can get out of here.” Alex explained.

Thomas nodded in understanding and turned to Rebecca. “Just keep talking to the operator, I’ll be back soon.” He told Rebecca as he handed her the phone. 

She just took it and nodded. “Okay.”

Thomas gave a small smile, then got up and followed Alex as they climbed into the back of the car, and after a few hard pushes, and some help from bystanders on the street moving debris away, the hatch opened.

Alex looked at the bystanders. “Don’t try and come in, it’s not safe. If you want to help, keep an eye out for the first responders and stay out of their way when they do arrive.” He told them.

They all nodded in understanding.

Alex then turned to Thomas. “If you wanna get out of here and walk away, it’s up to you, and I probably couldn’t even blame you for it, but I could really use some help getting everyone out of here.” Alex told Thomas, hoping Thomas wouldn’t leave.

“I’m staying but what are we gonna do about Rebecca, David, and that other guy?” Thomas asked in a hushed tone so David couldn’t hear him speak.

Alex frowned a bit. “Hope help arrives in time I guess. I mean, hypothetically, David could try to get up and try to get out of here, but if he does have a spinal injury it could end horribly.” Alex explained. “And there’s no way Rebecca or the other guy are getting out of here without the equipment the first responders have.” Alex told him truthfully.

Thomas nodded a bit.

Alex and Thomas then got out of the car, going back into the bar, Thomas going right back over to Rebecca.

Alex went and stood up on the table he and Thomas had been sitting at. “Attention everyone! We’ve got a way to get out of the bar, so I need everyone to get to this side of the car and get out of the bar now, then wait on the street until EMS arrives and checks you over for injuries!” Alex shouted so everyone could hear him over the alarm.

The people sitting at the bar were quick to climb over the tables. The bartender looked hesitant to do so, and the old lady with the other man didn't seem to move either.

Alex instructed the first two people from the bar to climb through the car, then went to the bar counter. “What’s your hesitation for?” Alex asked the bartender.

“I feel like there’s more I should be doing to help.” He explained. “I, I don’t wanna just, leave.”

Alex frowned and looked around. He grabbed the spare towels he had been given. “You wanna help more? Get these wet, soaking wet, preferably with cold water. The engine is smoking and things are gonna get hot for Rebecca real soon. It’ll help protect her as things heat up. Get a pitcher of ice water too, so we can wet her clothes and rewet the towels as needed, then I  **need** you to leave.” Alex told the bartender.

The bartender nodded and took the towels from Alex, heading towards the sink with them.

Alex then went over to the old lady and the man she was with. She was gently stroking his hair and holding a cellphone as he spoke to someone over the phone. Alex felt bad to pull the old lady away from the man, but Alex didn’t want to risk a single extra life if he could avoid it.

The man looked at Alex, then the old lady. “Go, Ruth, you can get out of here, I can't. I have my phone- my ma, I’ll be okay.” The man told the old woman.

The old lady, Ruth apparently, frowned then nodded a bit, running her hand through his hair one final time. “I’ll pray for you, Sam. May god keep you safe, dear child.” She told the man, Sam, then let Alex help her up off her spot on the ground.

“What you’ve done here made this a lot easier on him and his mother, thank you for that. I couldn’t have done that for him.” Alex told Ruth as he helped her over the tables, his leg moving over harsher and harsher every time he did it.

“Your leg dear, are you hurt?” Ruth asked, her eyes widened as she watched it move far too awkwardly to not be painful.

“Nothing there to hurt ma’am, let’s get you out of here.” Alex told her simply and watched as Thomas helped her out of the car. Then Alex went back to Rebecca, getting there just as the bartender brought over the wet towels and a couple pitchers of cold water.

“This good?” The bartender asked.

“Perfect.” Alex told him, taking the towels and pitchers. “Now get out of here. Make sure everyone stays here and doesn’t wander off, and keep an eye and hear out for help.” Alex instructed.

The bartender nodded and left the bar.

“Thomas you should go too.” Alex said to Thomas before turning to Rebecca. “Is it feeling hot under the car?”

“Starting to, yeah.” She nodded.

“Alright, I’m gonna soak your clothes and put these wet towels over you to help protect you so you won’t get injured more, okay?” Alex explained to her and began doing just that.

“Fire and rescue are about 3 minutes away.” Thomas told them.

“Jesus Christ.” Alex mumbled as he continued helping Rebecca.

“Couldn’t we just, put water on the engine fire? To put it out?” Rebecca asked quietly.

“No, we can’t. It’s an electrical fire, it will only make things worse. Plus there’s gasoline leaking and with that around it’s like-” Alex was cut off.

“Like adding water to a grease fire.” Rebecca nodded in understanding as she cut Alex off. “Got it. I know that from culinary school.” She explained.

“Exactly.” Alex smiled softly at Rebecca. Then he turned back to Thomas. “Thomas you need to go.” Alex told him firmly.

“If you’re staying I am.” Thomas explained.

“Thomas, you don’t need to play hero. You’ve got a kid who  _ needs _ you. Go.” Alex continued to push.

Thomas didn’t move.

Alex looked at him. “I will never look at another of your budget proposals if you don’t leave, now, and I will refer to you as T-Jeffy and nothing else.” Alex threatened, knowing Thomas hated the nickname. “Think of your daughter. She’s already lost her mom, what if something happened to you too?”

Thomas frowned a bit but nodded as he understood, and agreed with Alex. He hoped the situation wouldn’t get that bad but if it did, well, Alex had a point. He couldn’t make an orphan of his daughter. “Fine. Yell if you need more help.” Thomas told Alex.

Alex nodded. “I will.”

Thomas then got up and left the bar.

“David? How are you doing?” Alex called out.

“I- I’m okay.” David told him.

“Good, just keep staying still, help is almost here.” Alex reminded David.

“Alex?” Rebecca then asked.

“Yes Rebecca?”

“Am I gonna die?” She asked quietly.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Alex told her.

“How do you know all this stuff?” She asked.

“I was in the military.” Alex explained. “They teach you a lot of first aid stuff and some disaster response things too. That kind of stuff never leaves, it just, sits in the back of your head until you need it.

She nodded a bit. “Like the safety precautions in the kitchen. You don’t think about grease fires everyday, but you always know not to put water on them.”

Alex nodded. “Exactly.”

Rebecca then shifted a bit. “Alex your leg.” She mumbled upon seeing Alex’s left leg.

Alex looked at it, the pant leg was torn up, and his leg was bent a little weirdly.

“Are you hurt?” Rebecca asked, eyes widening.

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s a prosthetic leg. There’s nothing there. I’m fine. How are  **you** feeling?” Alex asked her.

“It- It’s getting hotter.” Rebecca informed him.

Alex put more water over the towels. “Help is almost here.” He told her again.

Suddenly there was a creaking sound, Alex looked up and around. He realized that the building was becoming unstable due to the damage. Suddenly there was even more, worse, creaking.

“The- the roof!” Rebecca suddenly shouted out.

Alex quickly leaned over Rebecca to protect her head as a portion of the roof collapsed. Alex waited a moment after it fell, then slowly sat up. Luckily nothing too heavy or large landed directly on them because of how close they were to the hood of the car. “You okay?” Alex asked Rebecca.

She nodded. “Fine, thanks to you.”

“David, how ya doing?” Alex called out to him.

“The roof collapsed!” David exclaimed, sounding scared.

“I know David!” Alex told him. “How are you? Did you get hurt more?” Alex asked.

“No, but I think we’re trapped again, I can see in my rearview mirror, there’s a bunch of stuff beside the car, there’s no way you could get past it all and out the trunk!” He announced.

Alex nodded a bit. “Thank you David.” He shouted back. “Sam? What about you?” He shouted.

“About as good as can be!” Sam, the hopeless guy, called out.

“Alright, thank you!” Alex shouted back.

“Alex it’s getting really hot. I think the roof thing made the fire thing worse.” Rebecca sounded on the verge of tears.

Alex nodded in understanding and put the rest of the water over Rebecca. “Any minute now. Help is gonna be here any minute now.” He told her, also trying to convince himself. He could hear yelling and noise from outside, but between the alarm and the faint ringing in his ears, he couldn’t tell what any of it was.

“Why do you sound unsure?” Rebecca asked. “You, you sound worried. Should we be worried?” She continued to be scared by Alex’s fear.

“It’s just the adrenaline rush, it’s beginning to start slowing down is all.” Alex lied to her easily.

She nodded a bit.

Alex could only hope that he was right and that help would be there any minute.

Alex’s phone then went off with a notification. He pulled it out of his pocket, frowning upon seeing the screen was badly cracked. It was a text from Thomas, telling them it would be a couple minutes more. Alex sighed a bit upon reading it.

“Rebecca, is there anyone you want to talk to?” Alex then asked. He wasn’t giving up hope, yet, but the idea of just-in-cases wasn’t sounding so bad right about now.

She shook her head a bit. “The only people there are would just, freak out, it wouldn’t do any good, plus it’s not like, family anyway.” Rebecca explained, hinting that she maybe didn’t have anyone close enough to her to care the way she needed.

Alex’s heart ached for Rebecca upon hearing that, he knew all too well what that was like. He hoped that they would get out of here in time and Rebecca could find someone to care for her that way, and so that he himself could see the people who cared about him again.


	43. My Time Is Up, Have I Done Enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Car accidents, blood, fire, descriptions of injuries, hospitals

Alex closed his eyes momentarily, he figured that it was the lack of proper lighting in the bar that seemed to be getting to him, causing him to start to get a bit of a headache.

“Alex are you sure you’re okay? Did anything land on you?” Rebecca asked, noticing this. If nothing else, she was very sharp.

“I’m fine, Rebecca, if anything did it’s not a big deal.” Alex told her firmly. “So you said you’re in culinary school?” Alex asked. “Tell me about that. I have no idea how culinary school works.”

“Well the program you do determines how long you’re there for. The Red-Seal program I’m going for is a 4 semester program. I’ve got 2 semesters left, then I’m a chef. I’m studying at a really good school, it’s like a gateway to the best restaurants and catering-businesses in the world.” Rebecca explained.

Alex smiled a bit. “Any specific place you wanna work once you get your seal?” He asked.

“Not sure where exactly, but like, a 3-Michelin star restaurant in like France would be kinda cool, or maybe my own catering business right here in New York. Wouldn’t have to be fluent in French for that.” She chuckled a bit but winced at the pain.

“I wouldn’t do that. How are you feeling otherwise?” Alex asked her, upon seeing more blood leak from the wound in her side.

“I’m okay.” She told Alex.

Alex nodded in understanding. “One moment.” Alex said to Rebecca. “David?! Just checking in bud! How ya holding up?” He called out.

“I’m alright. Still hurting but I think my forehead stopped bleeding!” David told Alex excitedly.

“Good, that’s good. Just hang tight.” Alex told him.

“Didn’t plan to do anything else!” David responded.

Alex laughed a little. “Sam? What about you?” He shouted.

“Fine!” Sam shouted back at Alex.

Alex then turned back to Rebecca. “So, I’ve never understood the Michelin-star rating system. Wanna maybe explain it to me?” Alex was purposely trying to keep her distracted.

Rebecca nodded a bit. “Yeah, okay. Well do you know like the Michelin Tire company?” She asked.

Alex nodded. “Yeah I do.”

“Same Michelin. The Michelin star rating system was started by Michelin Tires. 1 star means good for it’s category, kinda like, if you drive by, might as well stop. 2 stars is excellent cooking, worth a detour, and then 3 stars is exceptional cuisine, worth it’s own special trip. The system was started by the Michelin Tire company as a way to try and sell more tires. Now it’s like, the most prestigious restaurant rating system in the world.”

“Interesting.” Alex nodded a bit.

Rebecca nodded. “There are 76 Michelin star restaurants in New York City, 5 of which have 3 stars. There are about 120 Michelin restaurant critiques in the world that spend 3 out of 4 weeks a month on the road, and if they suspect a restaurant suspects their identity they have to leave the region for 10 years.” Rebecca added. “I’m in so much student loan debt from going to this culinary school, but like, it’ll be worth it. The school has turned out lots of highly praised and respected chefs, including Michelin star chefs.” She explained.

“I know what that’s like, the student debt thing I mean.” Alex chuckled. “Just a second.” He told Rebecca. He stretched and changed positions on the floor. He looked around as there was more noise outside- none of which he could decipher with the faint ringing in his ears- but he was more focused on the fact that flames were now peaking out from the hood of the car.

Before Alex could even react though the door to the bar burst open, a fireman stepping inside of the destroyed bar.

“Over here!” Alex shouted, standing up, only realizing now how much his prosthetic was messed up, but not focusing on that. “We’ve got someone trapped under here and the engine is on fire!” He exclaimed. “The driver is stable, I DIY-ed a backboard because I suspected there was a spinal injury, and there’s one more person stuck under the left rear tire.” Alex explained to the firefighter.

The firefighter nodded in understanding. “Got it.” That firefighter, followed by many more firefighters as well as EMTs came into the bar, some rushing to properly put out the engine fire, while others cleared debris and tables so they could move the bar around more easily, something Alex hadn’t had the time or strength to do.

Alex stayed out of the way of the firefighters, but also remained in the bar still, watching as they made their ways to the various injured people. They jacked the car up just a couple inches, not enough to do much to the back of the car and further injure Sam, but just enough to take the tire of the car that Rebecca was stuck under off, so that they had more time to try and make a plan for Sam, while getting Rebecca out.

Alex was simply sitting at the booth he and Thomas had been at, watching everything happen. By now they had gotten David in an actual c-collar, on a proper backboard on a stretcher and were getting him out of the bar, and they were splinting Rebecca’s injured leg before loading her onto a stretcher. Alex got up and went over to Rebecca. He pulled out one of his business cards from his wallet. “Give me a call when you get the chance, I wanna know how things turn out for you.” He told her sincerely.

She nodded. “Thank you for everything, Alex.” She said and tucked it away for safekeeping.

Alex then stepped back out of the firefighters way as they began to take her out of the bar too.

“You were in charge here and triaged all these people?” A firefighter walked up to Alex and asked him.

Alex nodded. “I was just having a drink with a friend when it happened. I was the one who stepped up though, it was easy really I guess.” He nodded and told the firefighter. “I mean, I did have a bit of help too.”

“Your tourniquet quite possibly saved that girl’s life, and was properly applied, not too tight or loose. And those wet towels certainly helped her as well. That makeshift backboard for the driver, I mean, it could potentially have saved him from paralysis. How’d you know to do it?” The firefighter obviously seemed to be awe of what Alex had managed to do.

“I served in Iraq. Basic military training includes some pretty thorough first aid and gives you a different perspective on things. Plus my boyfriend is a trauma surgeon, so I’ve learned more things. Guess I picked a good day to wear a tie huh?” Alex joked.

The fire fighter chuckled and nodded. “Definitely. I gotta say, props to you, you did an amazing job helping these people. You stepped up, a lotta people would run for the hills when faced with this situation.” The firefighter told Alex. “Are you injured in any way? Help is here now, you don’t have to be the hero anymore, it’s alright if you are.”

Alex shook his head. “I’m fine. Just help these guys. Rebecca and David and Sam- if you even can. Oh! And by the way, very important, David, the driver, he didn’t seem impaired. He said he felt sick while driving then blacked out, woke up with his vehicle in the bar. I don’t think he was drunk or otherwise under the influence. Maybe it was a medical episode? I just, I don’t think he should be charged with anything.” Alex explained to the firefighter.

“We’re doing our best to help everyone here. We have extra help coming in for Sam, it’s- it’s not looking great for him though but we gotta try. They’re bringing in extra supplies and such, he looks hopeless but if we can work fast and get to the hospital quickly, then he might actually have a chance. And I’ll make sure the message about the driver gets passed on.”

Alex nodded. “Well, I think I’ll leave you to it.” Alex said.

The fire fighter nodded. “Make sure to get checked out by the EMTs out there before you leave. You might be injured and in pain but not feeling it because of the adrenaline rush.” They instructed.

“Will do.” Alex promised, he grabbed his suit jacket from the seat of the booth and walked out of the bar. Thomas was waiting for Alex on the street outside the bar, but didn’t see him yet.

“Guess you need a new drinking spot huh?” Alex asked him, walking up to Thomas from behind and clapping him on the shoulder as though nothing was wrong.

Thomas turned around to Alex, he was surprised but also relieved to see Alexander. “Jesus Christ Ham, the roof collapsed and I was yelling and screaming but you didn’t respond. I was worried you were hurt!” Thomas almost sounded angry with Alex.

“It was loud, I couldn’t hear anything. Plus I was busy keeping Rebecca distracted.” Alex shrugged. “I’m fine, and keep it up and I think you actually care about me.” Alex teased. “Are we all good to go?” He asked.

“I got checked out out here, yeah, you get checked out yet?” Thomas asked. “I gave both of our contact info to the cops so they can contact us for statements later, by the way.”

Alex nodded in understanding. “Yeah I’m good to go.” He lied. He just wanted to get home and lay down. Alex was now crashing down from the adrenaline rush and he was  _ wiped _ .

“Alright. I think we’re gonna have to walk a couple blocks to be able to get a taxi, the street is blocked off and so are some of the surrounding ones. The driver caused 3 accidents before crashing into the bar. Was he drunk?” Thomas asked.

Alex shook his head. “I suspect some kind of medical episode, he didn’t seem out of it, said he felt sick and blacked out while driving, then woke up in the bar.”

Thomas nodded a bit in understanding and began walking.

Alex followed, walking alongside Thomas, but slower, and it looked weird. He couldn’t tell if the prosthetic was damaged or just not on properly and he was too tired to care at that point.

“You good?” Thomas asked, noticing Alex was walking funnily.

“Fine, it’s nothing.” Alex waved it off.

Thomas nodded a bit, not seeming to quite believe Alex. He didn’t push the matter though.

The odd pair, with torn disheveled clothes and for Alex bloody hands and shirt, walked a couple blocks until traffic seemed to look normal again. “Alright Ham, where ya headed?” Thomas asked.

“Lower Manhattan, Tribeca. Not far from work.” Alex told him.

Thomas nodded. “I’m headed in that direction too, we can split the cab fair and share the same one.” He explained.

“Sounds good to me.” Alex mumbled and nodded a bit.

Thomas didn’t have much trouble hailing a cab. He let Alex get in first, then got in himself. Thomas told the driver where they were headed, which would take a while because the bar Thomas had picked was in Brooklyn.

“Hey Thomas, when finding a new drinking spot? Maybe find one closer to home.” Alex teased as they slowly made their way back to Manhattan.

“It’s far too soon for jokes Hamilton.” Thomas told him seriously.

“Ya sure? I had a screaming, alarm-blaring good time.” Alex continued to joke about the subject.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Your boyfriend must be a saint to put up with you all the time, gotta give him some respect next time I see him.” He shook his head.

Alex just grinned at Thomas.

The taxi hadn’t even left Brooklyn when Alex suddenly seemed to be the opposite of fine. He went from Totally Fine Man in Charge, to slumped over and feeling unwell.

“Alexander? Are you sure you’re alright? I thought you said you were checked and free to go.” Thomas frowned.

“I lied.” He mumbled. Alex was leaning over with his elbows resting on his knees, a hand to his forehead, looking unwell. “I just wanna get home, plus the press was gonna be there any minute.” He explained to Thomas.

“Yeah well I’m vetoing that decision, you’re not fine.” Thomas said and instructed the taxi driver to change direction and head to the nearest hospital much to Alex’s protests and insistence that he was fine, despite the fact that he was obviously very much not ‘fine’.

“Alexander, you’re clearly not okay, we’re going to the hospital.” Thomas repeated. “Washington would have my head if I let something happen to you, you’re like, practically his son.”

“I’m not his son.” Alex mumbled.

“Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have my head.” Thomas grumbled, thinking about how pissed Washington would be if something happened to Alex under his watch. Alex could say he wasn’t Washington’s son until the cows came home, it wouldn’t change the fact that they had a father-son relationship without a doubt.

“I’m fine. I just wanna sleep.” Alex mumbled.

“No. No sleeping, Alexander, stay awake.” Thomas told Alex.

Alex grumbled something that Thomas couldn’t understand.

“Come on, tell me what you’re feeling and what happened.” Thomas asked of him. “And sit up, you’re gonna fall asleep if you stay like that.” Thomas said and pulled Alex up into a sitting position.

“My head hurts.” Alex told Thomas. “I think something might have fallen on it, when the roof collapsed.” Alex admitted.

“Anything else?”

“My- my ears were ringing, and I’ve got a killer headache, more like a migraine or something.” Alex explained. “And something’s wrong with my prosthetic. I’m hoping it’s just not on right, but it might be damaged, I can’t tell if the stump is hurt.”

“Alright. Are you dizzy? Nauseous?” Thomas asked.

Alex shook his head. “Just tired.”

“Alright well like I said, you gotta stay awake. No sleeping. You did a great job keeping Rebecca awake, now you gotta do the same thing for yourself. I’ll help you. And we’ll get to the hospital soon.” Thomas reassured him.

Alex just nodded a bit and said nothing, preserving his energy to stay awake like Thomas told him too, too tired to think about how much Thomas was caring for him.

Soon the taxi arrived at the hospital. Thomas threw a wad of cash at the driver, not bothering to count it, though it was definitely far more than what the cost of the ride was. He then helped Alex out of the cab.

Alex’s leg was hurting worse now, he realized as he got out of the cab. “I- I need help walking, it’s the stupid prosthetic.” Alex mumbled to Thomas.

Thomas nodded in understanding, he came over and stood on Alex’s left side. “Just, wrap your arm around me and use me for support.” He instructed.

Alex did as instructed, clinging to Thomas for support to walk, but also support because he suddenly felt incredibly dizzy. He didn’t voice this concern to Thomas though, Thomas was already concerned enough about Alex, and he didn’t need to make it any worse than it already was.

Thomas helped Alex walk into the ER. It was busy, with people rushing around. It seemed this is where the other people from the bar had been sent, and probably the other accidents too. They started to walk over to the triage desk.

Alex stopped and looked up at Thomas. “Thomas, I, I can’t.” Alex mumbled breathlessly and then went completely limp in Thomas’s arms, falling unconscious.

“I need some help over here!” Thomas shouted, doing his best to hold Alex up and keep him from falling over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	44. How Lucky Are We To Be Alive Right Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Hospitals, brief mentions of blood, talk of injuries, mention of death, hospital stays

Eliza was rushing around, the ER had been fairly quiet through the first half of her shift, then came in victims of a car accident, then a second car accident, then a third car accident, and now there were three severe traumas coming from an SUV crashing into a bar. 

Eliza watched a maybe 20 something year old kid come in with the proper c-collar and backboard, as well as a makeshift one made with plywood and tape. Dr Eng took that case, due to the head trauma and potential spinal injury making it a neuro case. Next was a girl whose leg was absolutely crushed and had a large piece of glass in her stomach. Dr Finley was quick to hop on that case, because of the leg, and a general surgeon checked out the glass. Then there was a guy with terrible crush injuries to most of his body, John was quick to jump on the last guy, because he was in the worst shape. Apparently the person that had been triaging everyone at the bar thought the dude was totally hopeless and from the looks of it, he may still have been.

Eliza, being the charge nurse, was in charge of getting all the nurses where they needed to be and making sure everyone who needed a nurse’s assistance had a nurse to assist them. The ER was full and the chief of surgery was on the phone deciding to temporarily suspend anymore incoming traumas, because they were at max capacity for any more dying people. She was busy trying to make sure all the doctors had all the help they needed, while also managing charts, answering phone calls, ordering extra supplies from the pharmacy, and dealing with calming down and updating terrified family members.

Eliza liked to make a habit of getting to know everyone she worked with, names, specific jobs, pronouns, and what their voices sounded like, it was a respect thing for her, and knowing people’s voices was helpful for multiple reasons. Most of the time it would be when a fellow nurse called out for help, she could recognize the voice and get help to whoever called out for it quickly, even when the ER was busy and you couldn’t tell where the person calling for help was.

So when she heard a voice call out that they needed help and she didn’t recognize it, it was concerning. She looked over, away from the list of what she was telling the pharmacy over the phone that the ER needed more of. She was shocked and immediately became concerned to see Alexander, her friend, John’s boyfriend, unconscious in some random guy’s arms.

She quickly ended the call and rushed over. “I know this man, what’s happened to him?” She asked the guy holding Alex up, and then helped move Alex onto the gurney that another nurse had brought over.

“We were in that bar that the SUV drove through. He was running the whole damn show. Insisted he was fine and skipped out on getting the EMT’s to check him. He said his head was hurting and something about his prosthetic. He was fine, and then he started feeling unwell on our way back to Manhattan maybe 15 minutes ago, then we got into the ER here and he fell unconscious.” The man explained, sounding concerned and maybe even scared for Alexander.

Eliza nodded. “Alright, we’ve got him. Thank you.” Eliza said to the stranger that brought Alex in. She then turned and waved at a doctor to come over. Once the doctor was within hearing range she spoke. “Alexander Hamilton, 37, he was in that bar crash, apparently he was fine until about 15 minutes ago, then started feeling unwell, and passed out upon arriving in the ER here. He was complaining that his head hurt, and he has a prosthetic leg which something is apparently wrong with as well. He was the one who triaged everyone at the bar.” She told the doctor. “He’s a friend of mine, and very close to Dr Laurens, who is with another one of the bar victims right now. We can’t let Dr Laurens see him until we know what’s wrong.” Eliza reported and explained everything to the doctor.

The doctor nodded in understanding. “Got it, we’ll take care of him, now get back to your work. You said you’re a friend, so therefore you can’t work on his case. And we still need those meds and supplies from the pharmacy and more blood from the blood bank.” The doctor told Eliza.

Eliza nodded. “Yes, of course.”

Eliza then headed back over to the nurse’s station. She called the pharmacy back and finished with the list of medications they needed, then called the blood bank, trying to focus on her work, and act like nothing was wrong, even though she was worried about Alex and about John seeing Alex.

Eliza continued working for about an hour or two, watching as John took his patient up to the OR. The doctor with Alex had been very careful to make sure Dr Laurens didn’t see Alexander much to Eliza’s relief, at least she didn’t have that on her plate to worry about anymore.

The driver of the car turned out to have had a seizure at the wheel, and therefore was not at fault for the accident. He did suffer a spinal injury but the application of the makeshift backboard, that Eliza now knew Alex had made, likely saved his ability to walk. The girl with the crushed leg was okay, lucky the glass didn’t hit anything vital however Dr Finley was gonna have to surgically repair her leg and it would be a long recovery. 

Eliza then couldn’t help herself anymore, and pulled open Alex’s chart. She found that he was still in the ER. They had taken him for a head CT and gotten labs. They had found that he had grade 3 concussion. In addition, his prosthetic had been partially pulled off and was damaged, leaving him with some bad bruising, blistering, and chaffing on his stump. They were gonna keep him overnight for observation due to the severity of the concussion and then send him home tomorrow morning or whenever he finally woke up. Right now they were just waiting to get him moved up to the general ward.

The other car crash victims were all either in surgery by now, sent home, or taken to other areas of the hospital, and the ER was much quieter now. Eliza looked at the waiting room and noticed the guy that brought Alex in was still there. She put Alex’s chart away, got up, and went over to him.

“I know you from somewhere, and you’re the guy brought Alex in.” Eliza said to the man, trying to pick her brain to figure out where she knew him from.

“Thomas Jefferson. I’m on city council, I work with Hamilton.” The man introduced himself to Eliza.

Eliza nodded. “I see.” She paused. “What were you doing with Alex? I mean, obviously you guys had been at a bar, but...” She trailed off. She didn’t think Alex was the type to cheat, but then again, she hadn’t thought John was the type to throw vases as people trying to help him either.

“We were getting drinks, as colleagues, nothing more, I know he’s taken.” Thomas explained to her, realizing what she might be thinking about the situation.

“If it was just drinks as colleagues then why are you still here?” Eliza asked, getting somewhat defensive, because this could be her best friend’s heart they were talking about here.

“I’m worried about him.” Thomas admitted. “I mean, after this evening, it’s kinda hard to not. He stepped up in that bar and helped all those people, and if not for his quick thinking a lot more people, including myself, could’ve gotten hurt when the roof collapsed. I dunno, it’s probably some weird, like, trauma bonding thing.” He explained.

Eliza nodded a bit. “Alex likely saved the driver’s ability to walk. And it turns out that there’s evidence the driver had a seizure at the wheel, so it wasn’t his fault.” Eliza explained to Jefferson.

“That’s good to hear. Any update on Hamilton?” Thomas asked.

“Unfortunately I’m only supposed to give updates to family members or emergency contacts.”

“Please? Just give me something? So I can tell our boss? I mean, Washington might as well be his dad for some strange reason I’ve never really understood, but that’s besides the point.” Thomas practically begged.

“Washington was his colonel in Iraq.” Eliza explained then paused. “What happened at the bar? I mean, do you have any idea how he might’ve gotten injured?” She asked.

“My bet was the roof collapse. Alex got everyone out but the driver, Rebecca- the girl with the crushed leg, and that other really messed up guy and himself and the roof collapsed. He was fine before that. His leg I think was caused by him hoping back and forth over a mess of tables to get from one side of the bar to the other.” Thomas explained.

Eliza nodded. “That’s very helpful, actually.” She paused again. “He’s gonna be fine.” She told Thomas.

“Thank you. How do you know him?” Thomas asked curiously.

“I’m his boyfriend- John’s- best friend. Alex is pretty close to my whole family. He basically changed my wife’s life- well, our lives with that social worker funding.” Eliza explained.

Thomas nodded a bit, suddenly acting a bit more awkward when she brought up the social worker funding. “Well I- I should probably get going, so, uh, thanks for the update.” He told Eliza.

Eliza nodded and returned to the nurse’s station. Upon checking the time she realized she was technically off, as was John, who then walked into the ER and over to her. 

He sighed a bit and stretched. “At least I’m off, I guess.” He mumbled to Eliza.

“Couldn’t save him?” Eliza asked, talking about the man from the bar that had been labelled as hopeless by Alex.

“Injuries were too severe, whoever was running triage at that bar was right, wasn’t a huge surprise though.” John told Eliza, pulling his surgical cap off. “Things down here seem to have quieted down finally, it was absolutely crazy an hour and a half ago.”

“Yeah now that our shift is over.” Eliza chuckled a bit. Then she realized John still had no idea what happened with Alex, and she had to tell him. John was Alex’s emergency contact, but obviously they hadn’t told him yet. “John?”

“Yes ‘Liza?” John yawned as he spoke.

“Alex was at that bar. The one all the victims came in from.” She told John.

John froze, he hadn’t seen Alex in the ER and he had heard that there had been a casualty at the bar that never made it to the hospital. At that moment John’s world, and perhaps maybe even his heart, stopped. “He- he what?” John asked.

“He’s okay, he’s not dead.” Eliza quickly reassured John, realizing how scared her best friend looked. “Alex was the one who triaged all the patients. He- he’s here now, they’re just waiting to move him upstairs to the general ward.”

John breathed a small sigh of relief when Eliza said he was okay, but the fear creeped back in when she told him that he was here. “A bed, why? What happened to him?”

“The roof of the bar collapsed once all the non-injured people got out except for Alex, probably because he’s so stubborn and refused to leave. Something must’ve landed on his head when the roof collapsed because he has a grade 3 concussion. His prosthetic got messed up too. I don’t think he’ll be able to wear one for at least a couple days, and he’s definitely gonna need a new one, his is all bent up and ruined.” Eliza explained.

John nodded a bit as he took the information in. “Where is he? Has he asked for me?” John looked around the ER at the various beds, but didn’t see Alex.

Eliza grabbed John’s hand with both of hers and looked at him. “John, he’s been unconscious since he got here, he still hasn’t woken up, they’re pretty sure he’ll wake up sometime within the next 12 hours or so, but nothing’s a guarantee.. Go change out of your scrubs, shower, and find yourself a bite to eat if you’re gonna stay with him.” Eliza instructed.

“I’m definitely staying with him, no doubt about it.” John said. “And fine, I’ll change and shower and eat or whatever. I’ll text you later?” He asked.

She nodded. “Do try and sleep tonight?” Eliza asked of John.

“I make no promises.” John sighed a bit.

Eliza gave John a stern look that only a mom could give so easily, making it clear that it wasn’t a suggestion.

“I’ll try.” John corrected himself.

“Better.” Eliza told him. “Text me if anything changes okay? I’ll see you later.” Eliza went up on her tiptoes, and kissed John’s forehead then left the ER, ready to get home herself.

\---

John did as Eliza suggested. He went up to the attendings lounge and showered. He ordered food to be delivered to the main doors of the hospital before getting in the shower, so that by the time he showered and got down there, he wouldn’t have to wait long. He put his t-shirt and jeans back on as well as his leather jacket. He got his food and ate it quickly, at a bench outside the hospital, enjoying the fresh air and the relative quiet that allowed him to think clearly for a moment.

John headed back to the ER once he finished eating only to find that Alex had finally gotten moved up to the general ward. John found out where Alex was and headed there. He went into Alex’s room, pleased to find Alex was the only patient in the room. John sat down next to Alex’s bed, took his hand and held it. “What have you gone and done to yourself now?” John sighed a bit as he said it to Alex, obviously not expecting a response. 

John eventually fell asleep resting his head on his arms which were crossed resting on the edge of the bed, one of them gripping and never once letting go of Alex’s hand.

\---

Alex woke up, confused as to where he was. The faintest beginnings of sunrise could be seen through the window. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room, then he noticed John was there, holding his hand, still asleep. He was using his arms as a pillow on the edge of the bed. Alex smiled to himself a bit upon seeing John, and knowing that John had been there for a while, then let the urge to sleep take over again.

Alex woke again a couple hours later, instantly noting that the room was too bright and the noise from the hallway was too loud for the headache he had. He winced a bit at how bad the pain of the headache felt.

“Hey, you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?” John asked him gently. He spoke in a quiet voice, and gave Alex a small smile. John was holding onto Alex’s hand, and using his other hand to gently stroke Alex’s hair.

“It’s- it’s too bright, and loud.” Alex mumbled, covering his eyes with the hand John wasn’t holding.

John quickly got up and closed the partially opened blinds as well as dimming the lights and closing the door. “Better?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, lots.” Alex paused for a moment. “The- the bar, the roof.” Alex mumbled, trying to gather his thoughts and remember what happened exactly, as parts of his memory were now unclear.

“Don’t try and force anything baby, your memory might be a little fuzzy but that’s normal for concussions as bad as yours. Someone said the roof collapsed and something probably hit your head. You have a grade 3 concussion but you’ve faced far worse, I’m sure you’ll be okay.”

Alex nodded a bit. “The people from the bar, Rebecca, and David, and the other guy, hopeless guy, Sam.” He mumbled.

“Well, Sam didn’t make it, but I don’t think that’s much of a surprise.” John sighed a bit.

“Could you find out about the other two for me? Please? I wanna know if they’re okay.” Alex asked.

“I’ll see what I can find out for you. Right now though, I just wanna get you checked out and then home, dear.” John told Alex.

“My leg.” Alex mumbled. “The prosthetic I mean, where is it?” He looked around for his leg and the prosthetic sleeve.

John walked over to the corner of the room, where a small table held Alex’s belongings, and beside it leaning against the wall was Alex’s prosthetic. “It’s here but as I’m sure you can see, it’s messed up.” John frowned, holding up Alex’s prosthetic leg for him to see.

Alex sighed a bit. “I was due for a new one anyway I guess. Gonna have to put up with one of my older ones for a while.” That wasn’t exactly a wonderful idea but it would have to do.

“That is, if you can wear one for the next little while.” John told him solemnly.

Alex looked confused. “What do you mean?”

John pulled back the blankets, Alex’s stump was all bandaged up. “You partially forced it off, and ignored that. You’re kinda banged up as a result, dear. You might just have to wheelchair or crutch it around for a couple days.” John explained as he set the leg back down and returned to the side of Alex’s bed.

Alex sighed a bit. “I thought acts of heroism were supposed to make you feel good.” He grumbled.

“I’m glad to see your sarcasm is still intact.” John chuckled and kissed Alex’s head.


	45. So Long As You Come Home At The End Of The Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talk of car accidents, talk of injuries, hospitals, prioritizing work over one's health

Soon the doctor came into Alex’s room to check him over. The doctor explained some things about concussions to Alex. “I’m going to ask you some questions now, because Dr Laurens did mention to me you were having some hazing of your memory. I want to make sure it’s just low-grade amnesia and not something worse.” The doctor explained.

“Alright.” Alex nodded a bit.

“Why don’t you just start by telling me your name?” The doctor asked Alex.

“Is that even a real question?” Alex scoffed. “Alexander Hamilton. No middle name. A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R space H-A-M-I-L-T-O-N.” He spelled it out for the doctor, despite not needing to, because that’s just who he was.

“These questions are standard protocol.” The doctor explained. “Can you tell me where you are?” The doctor asked.

Alex told the doctor the name of the hospital. “At least I’m assuming so, Thomas just told the taxi driver to drive to the closest hospital, so.” 

The doctor nodded. “Good, now why don’t you tell me this; do you know who the current president of the United States is?”

“I really wish I didn’t, to be honest.” Alex sighed. “He is literally the least competent-” Alex began to rant.

“Alex is very much against the angry, twitter-loving cheeto man who shall otherwise not be named.” John cut in, explaining to the doctor and stopping Alex from going on a 20 minute long rant about why a monkey could be a better president.

The doctor chuckled. “I guess that’s fair enough.”

The doctor asked Alex a couple of other questions and was in the end very comfortable with letting Alex go home, especially knowing John would likely be around for Alexander.

John helped get Alex into the car and began leaving the hospital parking lot. “I know you’ve got a wicked migraine and the noise of traffic isn’t gonna help, but I’m gonna take you back to your apartment because my house was already not-so-amputee friendly, and with your whole leg situation, well, anyway, your building has an elevator and your entire house is one floor.” John explained his reasoning to Alex.

Alex nodded a bit. “That’s fair.” He agreed.

John drove back to Alex’s apartment, and helped him get inside. Right now Alex was crutching around, but in his storage room in the basement of the building Alex did have an old wheelchair that he or John could dig out if he really needed. Alex seriously hoped it wouldn’t come to that though.

“Couch, bed, chair, where do you want me to set you up dear?” John asked as he opened the door and held it open for Alex.

“Bedroom, it’s closer to the bathroom and the window is smaller and has better curtains.” Alex was referring to the fact that he was dealing with bad light-sensitivity due to the migraine. And balcony-door sized windows probably wouldn’t help that situation much at all. He made his way into his apartment and towards his room.

“Good idea.” John smiled a bit as he closed and locked the door behind them, then followed Alex to the bedroom.

Soon Alex was set up in his room, sitting up in his bed, with a couple pillows behind his back and one propping his stump. “Can you grab me my laptop? I need to send some emails if I’m gonna be missing work.” He explained to John.

“Yeah, no, I love you, Alex, but I just had to tape the curtain to the wall so that no light would leak in from the side. I’m not gonna give you your laptop.” John told Alex.

“John this is important!” Alex whined a bit.

“How about you tell me what to say and I’ll send the emails for you? If you wanna get better faster, you need to avoid screen-time as much as possible. Reading too, the more rest you let your brain get the better and the faster you’ll heal.” John explained.

“Wait no reading? What on earth am I supposed to do for the next week?” Alex exclaimed.

“More like 10 days in your case.” John told him nonchalantly as he grabbed Alex’s laptop and opened it up.

“That’s worse!” Alex looked stressed at the idea.

“Do you seriously have nothing else you could do?” John asked, thinking of loads of productive things that could be done in bed for a week plus that didn’t involve reading or screens.

“Reading is like, my entire life!” Alex exclaimed.

“Well you’re just gonna have to miss out for a little while, Alex. The more you read or look at screens, the longer it’ll take for you to be better.” John told him.

Alex groaned, and slumped back down against the pillows behind him. “Concussions suck.”

“Then maybe next time you should leave the bar like everyone else before the roof collapses.” John told Alex.

“And just leave Rebecca and David? What if whatever hit my head had hit Rebecca’s head? It probably would’ve been worse because she was pinned to the floor. She would’ve had no chance for her neck to move and absorb some of the shock like mine most likely did. She could’ve ended up with a brain bleed or swelling instead of just a concussion. I did what I had to do to try and keep as many people alive as I possibly could.” Alex told John, his tone made it clear that he wouldn’t do anything different if he was in that incident a second time around.

John set Alex’s laptop aside and took Alex’s hands in his own. “And I love that you did that, Alex, but why? Why did it have to be you?” John asked. “You could’ve ended up far worse off than you did, and I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself had that been the case.” John sounded almost scared for Alex.

Alex looked down at his and John’s and was quiet for a moment. “It was just, automatic, I just knew I needed to step up. I was-” He paused. “It was almost like being back in Iraq. Disaster happens, you’re in a tough situation, the emergency response and patient prioritizing and first aid kick in, and your brain is on autopilot. John, I honestly don’t know how I remembered how to do half of what I did in that bar last night, but I remembered it and it saved lives.” Alex explained to John.

John nodded a bit. “I get it.” He understood what Alex was talking about and couldn’t blame him for it. “How about you just, stay out of bars with SUVs in them from now on?” He asked.

“I dunno if I can do that John, I mean, I live for bars with SUVs in them.” Alex joked.

John rolled his eyes. “And suddenly, all my sympathy for you is gone.” He told Alex jokingly, dropping his hands and grabbing Alex’s laptop again.

Alex chuckled a bit.

“I love you.” John smiled.

“I love you too.” Alex was quiet for a moment. “I should probably call Washington, especially before sending out any emails.”

John nodded again. “That I can allow.” He smiled softly. He handed Alex his phone. “Just Washington and then you put your phone down. You need to rest. Got it?”

Alex nodded. He opened his phone and pulled up Washington’s contact and called him.

“Alexander! I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear from you! The rumors are all over the place and I haven’t been able to get a hold of you or Thomas and get an idea of what’s going on.” Washington exclaimed as he answered the phone, sounding like a father more than a boss.

“Hello to you too sir.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Sorry, son, I just, some places are calling you a hero, some are saying you’re responsible for the death of two people, and others are saying  _ you're _ dead, and basically everything in between.” George explained to Alex.

“I think it’s safe to say I’m not dead.” Alex chuckled. “I wouldn’t call myself a hero either though.”

“What happened?” George asked.

Alex explained the situation that went down last night. “I ended up with a grade 3 concussion, and I messed up my prosthetic, but I should be back to work by like, Friday?” Alex estimated.

John coughed a bit and glared at Alex upon hearing ‘Friday’.

“Sorry, uh, next Monday not Friday.” Alex corrected himself.

John nodded a bit. He then left the room, disappearing into the kitchen, closing Alex’s bedroom door behind him when he left.

“Take as much time as you need, Alexander. If you are up to it, an official statement that I can release to the press would be good, but there’s no pressure.” George told him.

“I’ll see what I can do. What are the reliable news sources saying?”

“That it’s suspected you were the man who was in charge of the situation and were responsible for saving at least 2 lives.”

“Is there gonna be a police investigation?” Alex asked. “Do you know?”

“Well the driver was found to have had a seizure and therefore what he did is not his fault so not really.” George explained to Alex.

Alex nodded to himself. “You said you couldn’t get ahold of Thomas?” He frowned a bit as he said it.

“He sent me a very vague email last night saying that he heard from someone that you were probably going to be okay, but that it might’ve been a lie, and that he was going to be taking a short leave of absence. Something about going home to Virginia.” George explained.

“It wasn’t a terrible situation for me to have been through, but I had my leg blown off in a literal war. To someone who has lived a safe relatively cushy life like him, it would probably be pretty terrifying.” Alex told George.

Alex talked a little bit more with Washington then hung up, dropping his phone down on his chest. Alex sighed a bit.

It was only a minute later that John returned to Alex’s room. 

“I hate this.” Alex was quick to tell John.

“I know, so terrible, you have to take a break.” John said sarcastically as he set down a smoothie on Alex’s bedside table, and handed Alex a glass of water, Alex’s antidepressants and some over the counter pain meds. “For the headache.” He explained about the pain medication.

Alex nodded a bit and swallowed the pills. “What’s with the smoothie?” He asked.

“Seeing as you’re bound and determined to get back to work ASAP, I’m bound and determined to make sure you’re in tip-top shape when you do. Antioxidant rich foods are good to eat after a concussion so I made a smoothie with some foods high in antioxidants.” John explained. “I’m really grateful that you have such a quiet blender otherwise I couldn’t have done it.”

Alex nodded a bit. He took a sip of the smoothie then went quiet. “I just took a break from work a month ago when I was in DC. And there was a week break a couple months back too when I was sick after that storm. It can’t be leaving a good impression on people.” Alex defended his feelings.

“I’m sure everything will work itself out.” John said and kissed his forehead. “How’s your head feeling?” John asked.

“Fine for what it is.” Alex shrugged. He wasn’t mad at John, he was mad at the situation.

“And your stump?”

“Hurts.” Alex admitted with a sigh.

“Why don’t I take a look? I’m sure whatever ER doctor you got was fine but…” John trailed off.

“But you trust yourself more. I get it.” Alex nodded.

John nodded a bit too.

“I don’t mind. Go ahead.” Alex told him.

John pulled back the blankets and carefully pulled the bandages on Alex’s stump off. It wasn’t a pretty sight. It was bruised from being jerked around so much, and chafing and blistered from the silicone of the sleeve getting rubbed the wrong way and partially pulled off by force.

“No wonder it hurts. Is the pain just the bruising or is it the nerve pain too?” John asked, gently examining the stump.

“No nerve pain surprisingly.” Alex told him.

“Good, with all the chafing your Capsaicin cream would sting like hell.” John chuckled a bit. “I’m gonna take care of this stuff, okay? Make you feel better.”

Alex nodded. “Sounds good.”

John went to his car and retrieved a fairly expansive first-aid kit. He properly drained the blisters and bandaged them, then he worked some chafing cream into the chafed areas. When he finished he gently kissed his hand and pressed it to Alex’s stump.

Alex smiled at him. “You’re really good at this.” He yawned.

“I would hope so.” John laughed. “You tired?”

Alex nodded. “Yes, but I still need to send out emails.” He frowned.

“It’s Saturday. You have until Monday to get it done. Don’t worry about it. You’re tired now, so you should sleep. Sleep is what will heal your brain the fastest.”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “Promise you’ll stay with me?” He asked John.

John smiled softly. “Of course.” They rearranged the pillows and John laid down first and then Alex laid down, resting his head on John’s chest. John wrapped an arm around Alex protectively.

“John?” Alex mumbled.

“Yes dear?” John gently was running a hand through Alex’s hair.

“I love you.” Alex told him.

“I love you too. Now sleep, you need it.” John insisted.

“Promise you’ll still be here when I wake up?” Alex asked.

“Of course I will. I wouldn’t dream of leaving while you sleep.” John told him softly.

“Good.” Alex mumbled. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“You really mean that?” John was caught off guard by this.

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I thought I needed a little more space even after we talked things out.” Alex paused. “But had Thomas picked the table in front of the window at that bar last night I probably would’ve died and I just, we already lost each other once. I don’t want to waste anymore time, we’ve lost 15 years already. All I want is you.” Alex told John honestly, tearing up a bit as he said it.

“Really?” John asked, surprised to hear it.

Alex was quiet for a moment. “You shouldn’t have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent, but seeing as you have already done it and considering that we should be indulgent with those we love, I’ll let it slide if not for my own sake then yours.” Alex responded.

“That sounds, very poetic.” John commented, still wrapping his mind around the meaning of Alex’s words.

“Just came up with it.” Alex shrugged.

“Really?” John asked.

“Yep.” Alex nodded.

“Well it was beautiful. And uh, I’m glad you were sensible enough that I could take advantage of it and steal into your affections. Now sleep so you can heal and then you can write me an actual whole poem like that.” John told Alex.

“I love you.” Alex yawned.

“I love you too.” John smiled and gently pet Alex’s hair until he could tell that Alex had finally fallen asleep.


	46. I See The Whole Gang Is Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings really, just minor mentions of stuff I've tagged before (like the bar incident) and like, tainted Halloween candy? Idk i feel like that could be a traumatic experience for multiple people
> 
> Enjoy

John’s birthday came up while Alex was still recovering, so John really wasn’t expecting much from Alex. Alex was easing back into work slowly, and it was taking a lot out of him, but George made sure Alex wasn’t working too hard and Alex insisted he was fine and that it was important he be back at work even if he wasn’t at his best. 

Alex’s stump was now doing much better too, good enough he could wear one of his old prosthetics, which wasn’t perfect and was a little uncomfortable but it would take a while for his new prosthetic to get made, so he had to make due.

Alex did wake John up with a bunch of kisses and ‘I love you’s as well as ‘happy birthday’, but John figured dinner out was completely off the table at this point, because the past few nights, Alex had gotten home from work, eaten something quick, and gone to bed. John assumed Alex wouldn't be up to go out for dinner that night, and he was a little bummed, but he couldn’t or wouldn’t say anything, because Alex didn’t plan for this to happen.

“What do you want to eat tonight dear?” John asked Alex as he arrived back at Alex’s apartment after work, it sucked working on his birthday, but at least he was only working an 8 hour shift instead of a 12 hour. It was about 6 in the evening as he arrived home.

“I dunno, maybe just left overs or something?” Alex suggested. “We’ve got some Chinese and some other stuff in the fridge that needs to be eaten, so.” Alex was laying down on the couch, eyes closed, but obviously still awake.

John nodded a bit, trying to act like that didn’t hurt. And yeah, he was getting old, but John did enjoy his birthday, it was a symbol that he had survived a whole other year. He worked at a job where people died everyday, which meant being healthy and alive held a lot more value to him. “Yeah, sure. I’m gonna go take a fast shower.” John said so that he could walk off before Alex noticed anything was wrong.

Alex nodded. “Take as long as you need. I can get myself to the fridge. You deserve a nice shower, babe.” Alex told him.

“Alright. Thank you.” John planted a quick kiss on Alex’s forehead and headed to the bathroom.

That’s when Alex set everything in motion. He ordered John’s favourite dish from one of their high-end favourite restaurants, as well as his own favourite dish via Doordash. He has considered eating dinner on the balcony but it wasn’t exactly the warmest outside, so instead he set up the small table from his balcony in the living room, in front of the door to the balcony because the sky looked absolutely beautiful as the sun set.

Alex nicely set the table, even pulling out candles and lighting them. The food arrived and he moved the food from the take-out containers to actual plates and made it look as nice as possible, and by the time he finished that John was coming out of the bathroom, in a basic white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, still working on drying his long curly hair.

“Happy birthday, John.” Alex smiled at him.

John hadn’t been paying attention as he walked out of the bathroom- more focused on drying his hair off- and was surprised when he saw Alex. He was standing near the balcony table which was in the living room with dinner ready and candles lit, and soft instrumental music playing in the background. John accidentally dropped his towel he was so caught-off guard by the sight before him. He stared for a moment, before he picked it up and tossed it in the bathroom then came back to the living room. “What is all this?” He asked, shocked.

“I promised I would take you out for dinner on your birthday, but that was gonna be kinda hard so I decided that I’d bring a nice dinner to you.” Alex explained.

John smiled brightly and walked over towards the table Alex had set up. “Alex you didn’t have to do all this.” He told Alex as he looked at what food Alex had ordered and how neatly he had set everything up.

“John did you really think we were gonna eat leftovers for dinner on your birthday?” Alex asked. “I love you far too much for that. Sit down- let’s eat before it gets cold.” Alex told John as he took his own seat.

John sat down. “It wouldn’t have been my worst birthday.” John shrugged as he set the napkin Alex had laid out down on his lap.

“Working 8 hours on your birthday and then coming home and eating leftovers isn’t your worst birthday?” Alex sounded surprised and perhaps a little concerned.

“Definitely not.” John gave a sarcastic chuckle. 

“How bad of birthdays have you had?” Alex frowned a bit, then ate a bite of the pasta dish he’d gotten himself. 

“Let’s see, there was my 18th birthday. It was my first birthday without my mom and everyone forgot it except for the Schuyler sisters, who didn’t do much because they figured my family was gonna do something with me, but my dad was too busy ignoring his grief, and all my siblings were younger and just bad with that stuff, so I spent it alone in my bedroom.” John nodded a bit as he spoke, then popped a bite of food into his mouth.

“Oh gosh, that’s awful.” Alex frowned.

“There was also my 22nd birthday where I got to finish preparing everything for my fiance’s funeral, and then there was the birthday I spent in the ER with alcohol poisoning so, no, this would not have been the worst birthday I’ve had. But now this is a pretty damn good birthday.”

“I’m glad I’m better than alcohol poisoning.” Alex smiled as he teased his boyfriend.

John rolled his eyes a bit. “So, everyone is gonna get together on Saturday, because it’s Halloween. Costumes are optional but it’s so much more fun if everyone dresses up.”

“Who is everyone? I mean, don’t Philip, Mary, and William want to trick-or-treat?” Alex asked.

“They will for a little bit, but New York City isn’t exactly the best place for trick or treating.” John explained.

“I guess not.” Alex nodded a bit.

“It’s gonna be at the Washingtons’ seeing as they host every year because Martha insists on seeing the kids in their costumes and everyone on the Washingtons’ street gives out tons of candy. The kids go around the block once and have at least a half of a pillowcase full already and seeing as they’re all still so young it’s more than enough. Plus all of us adults without kids usually bring a full-size chocolate bar or two for each of the kids, so it’s good, a lot safer too. You should see some of the stuff Hercules and Liz have found while checking Mary and William’s candy.”

“I don’t understand why people would go to the trouble of ruining perfectly candy that they’re giving to kids. Honestly.” Alex shook his head.

“Yeah, it’s pretty disgusting.” John agreed. “So yeah, whatever adults want to go with the kids around the block go, and when the kids get back they watch movies and Martha and George always have a ton of snacks and like finger foods and it’s just, a really nice time.” John explained, making it clear that this was a yearly event.

“Sounds like it. What are you dressing up as?” Alex asked.

“Same thing I always do because it’s a valid costume and it’s easy. Eliza says it’s cheating. I call it killing two birds with one stone.” John told Alex.

“What is it?” Alex asked.

“Doctor. I walk around in my scrubs and my lab coat with a stethoscope around my neck, it never fails.”

“Because it’s cheating!” Alex exclaimed.

“How is it cheating?”

“Because that’s your job! I’m not gonna go as the budget manager of NYC. I’m sure Eliza’s not gonna be a nurse, and Maria isn’t gonna be a social worker.”

“What are you gonna go as then?” John asked.

“I don’t know.” Alex frowned a bit. “I haven’t really celebrated Halloween in a long time.” He admitted.

“Well there’s no pressure to dress up.” John promised. He knew that holidays were an iffy subject for Alex, due to lack of funds to spend on celebrations as a kid, then being alone for so long as a teenager and adult.

Alex nodded a bit and ate another bite of food.

They had a nice dinner, John cleaned up from it with Alex’s help and then they watched a movie, and went to sleep together happily.

Soon Saturday rolled around and it was nearing 3pm. John was pulling on his scrubs which Alex still thought was cheating.

“If I’m cheating then what’s your oh-so-amazing costume huh?” John asked Alex, who had said he had a costume to wear.

“I never said my costume was amazing, I just said it wasn’t cheating.” Alex said. He was already wearing a simple pair of blue jeans, and he pulled on a white t-shirt that he had written on with a sharpie. The shirt read ‘Error 404: Costume not found’.

“And how is that not cheating?!” John asked.

“Because it’s not my work-attire.” Alex said. “I think it’s pretty smart seeing as I came up with it by myself this morning.” He added.

John rolled his eyes. “Alright, I picked up some chocolate bars for us to give to the kids, and I’m ready to go. You?” John asked as he grabbed the bag with the chocolate in it.

“Yeah, I think so.” Alex nodded as he felt his pockets for his phone and wallet.

“Alright, and if you want to leave the party early just let me know, okay? Everyone knows what’s going on so there’s no pressure to stay if you’re tired or in pain.”

Alex nodded. “I will.” He promised

“Good.” John smiled. He stole a quick kiss- which Alex happily reciprocated- and they left Alex’s apartment and drove to the Washingtons’ house.

Just as Alex and John were arriving at the Washingtons, the parents and children of the group were setting off to begin their trick or treating.

“Hey guys!” John smiled as he got out of the car and came over to the group as they walked out of the Washington’s house.

Philip was dressed up as Spiderman, Maria had dressed as Black Widow and Eliza was dressed up like a minion from ‘Despicable Me’, because she let Philip pick her costume. She wasn’t a huge Marvel buff, it was Philip and Maria’s thing and she wanted to let them have that.

“Hi Uncle John!” Philip rushed over and hugged John.

“Spiderman? Do I know you?” John asked, pretending to not recognize it was Philip.

Philip giggled and pulled his mask off. “It’s me!” He exclaimed.

“Philip you’re spiderman?!” John exclaimed in response, acting shocked at the ‘completely unexpected’ reveal.

Philip giggled more and nodded. 

“Well  _ spiderman _ , I believe I have something for you.” John said and pulled two chocolate bars from his lab coat pocket.

Philip gasped and held out his pillowcase.

John smiled as he dropped them in, Philip thanked John, and so did his moms. John then went over to Mary, who was dressed as a princess, and William, who was in Hercules’s arms wearing a dinosaur costume. “And of course I could never forget Princess Mary and this magnificent dinosaur.” He smiled at them. The kids hugged him tightly and he gave them their chocolate bars too.

“What do you kids say?” Liz, who was dressed as little red riding hood, asked.

“Thank you uncle John.” Mary smiled.

“Fank you!” William exclaimed.

Hercules was dressed as a lumberjack and smiled at William.

“Hey Philip.” Alex smiled as he got out of the car a minute or so behind John.

“What’s your costume?” Philip asked, confused, staring at Alex.

“His shirt says ‘error 404, costume not found’.” Eliza told Philip. “It’s a computer thing. His costume is that he couldn’t find a costume.”

Philip nodded a bit.

Alex nodded in agreement with Eliza’s explanation. “I got something for you.” Alex smiled a bit.

“Really?” Philip asked, sounding excited.

Alex nodded and held up two chocolate bars.

Philip gasped.

“I had to get you kiddos a little something.” Alex explained and dropped the chocolate bars into his bag.

“Thank you uncle Alex!” Philip hugged him.

“You’re very welcome Pip.” Alex hugged back.

Alex gave Mary and William their chocolate, then headed inside.

Lafayette, Angelica, and Peggy were all there, as well as George and Martha of course. Lafayette was dressed up as a vampire, Angelica was wearing all black and a witch’s hat, and Peggy had a bee costume on. Martha and George both seemed to just be wearing their regular clothes.

“Why do the hosts get to get away without wearing a costume?” Alex asked, teasing George.

“Ah but I am in costume.” George started.

“Every year.” Martha mumbled and rolled her eyes.

“I’m dressed like a psychopath, you see, they look like regular everyday people, but in their mind something far more sinister is going on.” George explained, tapping his temple with his index finger as he spoke.

“He does this every year.” Martha told Alex. “Usually I come up with something but this year I just wasn’t feeling it I guess.”

Alex nodded. “It’s alright. Thank you for the invitation by the way.”

“Of course. We weren’t sure if you were gonna make it, I’m so glad you were able to.” Martha smiled warmly.

“How are you feeling today? I know work’s been a little rough, but are things overall getting better.” George asked.

“Definitely getting much better. I’m still using an old prosthetic because the new one is taking  _ forever _ but I’ll live.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re back at work, and the sooner you’re back at 100% the better.”

“George, give the poor boy time to heal! Alexander you take all the time you need. The city will survive without your best, the fact that you’re back already at all is more than enough help.” Martha scolded her husband.

“It’s nearing the end of the year. Gotta get everything for next year’s budget finalized.” Alex explained.

Angelica then came over to Alex. She hadn’t seen him since before the bar incident. “Next time I hear you’re in a bar that has an SUV in the middle of it and you have a chance to get out and you don’t I will murder you with my bare hands over your stupidity, Alexander I swear to god.” Angelica told him, sounding angry.

“Nice to see you too Angie.” Alex chuckled. 

“Angelica let him be, he saved multiple lives in that bar, he was a hero.” Lafayette came over.

Alex smiled, as chaotic as things seemed, there is no other way he’d rather be spending his Halloween.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I didn't post yesterday, and for posting so late today! In the between 10am yesterday (Monday) And 10pm today (Tuesday) I worked 26 hours and I was just too tired!
> 
> I'll also admit that this chapter might have had some small missed edits, I apologize. I really wanted to get something out tonight, but I've had a really crappy night (work AND family bs) so I did my best but tonight's 'best' is a lot different from my regular 'best'. 
> 
> If you're actually reading this, thank you, and if you have been leaving comments on this story I love you, or if you leave a comment on this chapter, I will love you too


	47. It Might Be Nice To Have Jefferson On Your Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talk of alcohol, talk of tainted Halloween candy, homophobia, mentions of poor family relationships, brief xenophobia, bullying, mentions of serving in the military/war

Alex, John, and the other adults mingled for a while and soon the kids returned with half-full pillow cases. The adults were standing in and around the kitchen, minus Alex, who was sitting on a bar stool at the breakfast bar.

“All of that candy from one block?” Alex seemed shocked upon seeing the fair size haul the kids had managed to get.

“Most of the people living on this block are older wealthy people, we just want kids to have a nice Halloween, trick-or-treating is hard in New York City so everyone gives out lots.” Martha explained.

“Halloween wasn’t really a huge thing where I grew up.” Alex admitted. “I had a friend who was in the states for Halloween one year, said it took 7 hours and 4 costume changes to get a quarter of a pillowcase, granted they were in a smaller town, but still.”

Martha nodded. “When these kiddos get older it’ll be interesting to see what happens. I remember before the kids came along these guys would have some pretty crazy parties if I remember correctly. One year Lafayette dressed as Frank N Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Martha recalled.

“I’m pretty sure I still have pictures of that. He went all out, it was pretty awesome.” John told Alex.

“That was a fun year.” Lafayette grinned as he came over and joined the conversation.

“I’m not even surprised by that.” Alex teased. “I definitely wanna see those pictures if you can find them.”

“Liz and Hercules used to do some killer couple’s costumes too.” Lafayette reminisced. “Halloween is different now, with the kids around, but I still wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Alex nodded. “This is really nice. I mean, this little get together, thing.” He admitted as he looked over, smiling as he watched George set up It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown on the TV for the kids to watch.

“It’s the one Halloween party I can count on to not have alcohol everywhere. Even if I know for a  _ fact _ that Lafayette has a flask on him.” John chuckled as he called Lafayette out.

“I do not!” Lafayette exclaimed in his own defense.

“Oh really?” John reached over and gently smacked one specific spot on Laf’s chest. It sounded like he had smacked cloth-covered metal instead of flesh.

Alex chuckled upon hearing this. “Not surprised by that either.”

“I am not the only one who brought a flask! Angelica is guilty too!” Lafayette told them to make himself look less guilty, even though no one really cared or would be mad.

“So you’re just gonna out me? Rude.” Angelica pouted a bit.

Martha shook her head and looked over as she watched George settle himself on the couch with the kids to watch the Halloween movie. “I’m in a house full of children.” She sighed exasperatedly.

“Love you too dear!” George called out, not taking his eyes off the TV as the movie started.

“Oh shoot, Maria look at this.” Eliza said and showed Maria something on her phone. Maria was checking Philip’s candy, while Liz checked William’s, and Hercules checked Mary’s. They were all sitting around the Washingtons’ dining room table with their children’s bags of candy, thoroughly going over each piece to ensure it hadn’t been tampered with, even if they were in a good neighborhood. It was also a good chance to remove any candy that they didn’t want the kids having- like gum-, and replace it with something else. Checking candy was usually the act of making sure the candy was still properly sealed and had the appropriate amount of air in the packaging. Oh Henry bars had lots of air, so deflated ones were suspicious, while KitKats were the opposite for example.

“Yikes.” Maria shook her head as she looked at Eliza’s phone.

“What is it?” Liz asked looking over.

“Apparently some parents are reporting finding sewing needles in Snickers bars.” Maria explained.

“Most of the reports are coming from people who were trick or treating over in Queens, but…” Eliza trailed off, looking over the sea of candy on the table, every fun-size snicker bar suddenly feeling like something that could hurt her child.

“You can never be too careful.” Hercules finished for her as he continued checking the candy.

“Exactly.” Eliza nodded a bit.

Thankfully, and unsurprisingly all of the children’s candy was fine, and soon the kids were munching away, getting hopped up on sugar and then chasing each other around the backyard, before the sugar high died down and they started to crash. William fell asleep, Mary curled up next to Hercules on the couch, insisting she wasn’t tired, but losing the battle against falling asleep, and Philip found some stuff to color with, quietly drawing and coloring away.

The Mulligans were the first to leave, and then Alex and John left around the same time as Eliza, Maria, and Philip.

“You really think you’re up to go back to regular work hours on Monday? I mean, going in from noon to four wiped you out last week so bad. You could do another week of half-shifts.” John suggested as he drove them back to Alex’s place.

Alex nodded. “I’m sure. I’ve been feeling better. Plus I’ve barely gone on my phone and haven’t picked up a book other than for work. I mostly just slept for the week before last John, and I’ve taken steps to ease back into my regular work. I’m good now.” Alex told him, resting his hand on John’s thigh in a reassuring manner.

“I just don’t want you going back too soon is all.” John explained, glancing over at Alex.

“I know but I’m fine, I promise, and if I’m not then I’ll leave work early.” Alex reassured him.

John nodded a bit. “Okay.”

Soon they arrived back at Alex’s and got ready for bed, too tired to want to do much of anything else. They could’ve gone back to John’s as it was far closer, but John knew his house was a mess and he knew that Alex was having a tough enough time using his old prosthetic, he didn’t need to throw stairs into the mix. 

“That was a good Halloween.” Alex smiled as he rested his head on John’s chest as they settled into bed.

“Definitely.” John agreed.

“Does the group get together like that for Christmas too? Or is that more of a private thing?” Alex asked curiously as he yawned.

“More private. Usually all the Schuyler girls and Pip go up to Albany to visit their parents for Christmas. Laf is usually back in France in December; his grandmother is quite old and any Christmas could be her last kinda thing, so that’s where he spends his holidays. Hercules and Liz sometimes stay in the city for Christmas and spend it with Hercules’ mom and siblings and sometimes they go spend the holiday with Liz’s parents at their winter home that’s somewhere in Arizona.”

Alex nodded a bit. “What about you? What do you do for Christmas?” He asked.

“Well every couple years my siblings get together in South Carolina. It’s kinda tricky though because I’m here in New York, and Mary is in California for school, and everyone else kinda spread out too or has stuff to do. We got together last year, it uh, it was certainly, interesting.” John sounded like he had a much different word in mind to use in place of interesting.

“Oh?” Alex asked, sitting up a bit to look at John.

“Well, first you need to realize, there’s my dad, me, Martha, her husband, and their two sons. Then there’s Henry; who has a new wife about every 5 years, so sometimes he has one or both of his kids with him and sometimes there’s a wife, other times not. Next is James and his wife and their 3 kids, and then Mary. So if everyone is there including both of Henry’s kids and a wife, we’ll have like 17 of us for Christmas.”

“Damn. That’s a lotta family.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Yeah. I love most of them though. My dad and Henry Jr as well as his wives and kids can go take a long walk off a short pier, but I would die for the rest of them.” John summed up his relationship with his family pretty easily.

Alex nodded in understanding. “So why was last year so ‘interesting’ as you called it?”

“The house was packed. Me and my siblings all had our childhood bedrooms with their spouses sharing, James’ kids took the guest room, and then all four of Henry and Martha’s boys camped out in the living room because it was all 17 of us plus Mary’s girlfriend. Only we didn’t know that Mary’s girlfriend was her girlfriend until like Christmas eve night I think, when Henry Jr walked in on them sneaking a kiss in the kitchen.” John explained.

Alex thought for a moment. “Didn’t you say that Henry Jr- well- senior too I guess- was homophobic?” He asked.

“Yep. It uh- it was intense to say the least.” John told Alex.

“I can see why.” Alex nodded. “So what do you do when you’re not with your family for Christmas?”

“I usually volunteer to work that day. Everyone wants the day off and usually the more experience you have the more likely you are to get the day off so usually they just stock the ER up with interns and first year residents that are too afraid to ask for the day off.” John explained.

“That makes sense. It’s very nice of you to do.”

John shrugged. “I guess. I’ll usually send presents for most of my siblings and my nieces and nephews, and sometimes they send me stuff too. Most years in the evening if I’m not working George and Martha will invite me over for dinner. Sometimes I go, other times it feels awkward because it’s usually just me and them so...”

Alex nodded in understanding. “I never really do much for the holidays either.” He admitted, looking, away from John.

“If you want, we could spend it together maybe?” John suggested. “And the whole group does an early Christmas thing around Thanksgiving too, before Laf leaves for France.” He added.

“Both of those sound wonderful.” Alex looked up and smiled at his boyfriend.

“Thanksgivingmas- as we call it- is always good. Then Laf is usually back in time for New Year’s Eve, and the Washingtons host a big party. Hercules, Liz, Maria, and Eliza get a babysitter for the evening rather than bringing the kids to this one. The Washingtons invite some other people too, work colleagues and friends and such, that’s always a good time as well.”

“It sounds really nice.” Alex admitted, thinking about the fact that he hadn’t been awake at midnight on NYE in probably 5 years.

John hummed in agreement. “It really is.”

Soon it was Monday morning. Alex woke up to his alarm going off and the smell of coffee brewing. He turned the alarm off, pulled his leg on, cursed a little as it pinched and prayed the new one would come in soon. Alex got dressed, did his hair, and brushed his teeth then headed to the kitchen where John was putting hash browns, scrambled eggs, and a couple sausages, into a Tupperware container for Alex.

“Good morning dear. I made you breakfast and packed it up to go because I know you’re anxious to get to work. I also made you a lunch, and coffee is ready.” John announced.

Alex walked over to John and kissed his cheek. “This is just one of many reasons why I love you. Thank you.”

“Of course. So I’m working late tonight so I’ll probably just head home after, but I’ll bring you lunch at work tomorrow, okay?”

Alex nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” He smiled.

John smiled back. “Now hopefully this is your last first full day back at work for a while yeah?” He asked teasingly.

Alex chuckled a bit. “I certainly hope so.”

Soon Alex got to work. He parked in a handicap spot and put his little permit tag up. He grabbed his briefcase and his lunch bag and headed inside to his office.

As Alex was nearing his office, someone stopped him. Alex recognized him to be the only other republican city councilman besides Jefferson and Madison: John Adams. And unlike Thomas and James, Adams was strictly Republican. There was no ‘well I can see the positives of this’ whatever it was like with Jefferson and Madison, who Alex had started calling closet democrats.

“Good morning councilman.” Alex greeted politely.

“You got a lotta fucking nerve.” Adams spat at Alex.

“Excuse me?” Alex was confused as to why Adams was so angry.

“Do you even give two shits about your job? I mean,  _ come on _ ! Three breaks in the span of like 4 months? This is getting ridiculous!” He exclaimed.

“I care very much about my job. It’s not my fault I was sick in May, dealing with personal issues last month, and recovering from a concussion for the last two weeks. Not to mention that I  **was** here part time last week.” Alex stayed calm as he defended himself.

“Actually, all of those sound like they are your fault. You got yourself caught in the rain in May. Personal issues certainly sound like something you have control over, and you got a concussion playing superhero. You walk around here like you’re so smart and the city would fall apart without you, but I see right past that. I see you for the lazy, immigrant, faggot, crip, who only got a job because Washington felt guilty,  _ loser _ , that you really are.” Adams barely even had a coherent argument. He didn’t have all the facts and was basically just spewing hatred and bigotry.

Despite Adams’ poor argument, Alex was frozen. It was too early in the morning for him to think of a proper response to what had just been said to him. He was especially shocked at how blatantly ignorant Adams was being.

Adams smirked. “See? Can’t even think of a response. If the shoe fits, Hamilton, wear it.” He said smugly, like he’d just won this.

Except it wasn’t over yet. “He has a lotta nerve? You got a lotta nerve saying shit like that!” Thomas shouted, as he came up behind Alex.

Thomas had been in Virginia for the last two weeks, taking time off himself to recover from the bar incident. The only difference between him and Alex, was that Thomas had been recovering mentally and emotionally, instead of physically like Alex.

“Hamilton single handedly saved  **7 lives** , including mine plus his own in that bar! He served in Iraq and received a purple heart for his service, for the sacrifice he made that left him disabled. He lost his leg protecting America so you would be free and able to spew that bullshit. Alexander fought tooth and nail to get to America, he’s put in more hard work in a  _ single year _ than you ever could in your entire life and who cares if he prefers the company of a man? He’s not the only one in this hallway that does.” Thomas was shaking with anger and crossed his arms, probably to keep himself from strangling Adams.

“I- he- you-” Adams seemed to be at a loss for words. Thomas had unleashed far too much information on Adams for his ‘tiny pea brain’, as Alex sometimes called it, to compute.

“Now get out of here before I turn you around, hold you down, and let Hamilton show you where his shoe fits.” Thomas threatened.

Adams’ eyes widened and he quickly scurried off.

“You alright Ham?” Thomas asked, turning to Alex.

“I’m good.” Alex nodded. “Thank you for that.” He said sincerely.

“Of course. So how ya doing? Last I saw you, you were getting taken away on a stretcher by a bunch of nurses.” Thomas asked.

“Bad concussion, and I need a new leg, but I’ll live.” Alex explained. “You been doing alright? I heard you disappeared for a while too.”

“I just, needed a little bit of time, is all. That shit was intense.” Thomas explained delicately.

Alex chuckled a bit. “You can say that again.”

Thomas nodded. “I, uh, I think you were right by the way. About my daughter just being a teenager and not wanting to tell her dad everything.” He admitted.

Alex smirked a bit upon Thomas openly admitted that he was right. “I’m always right.”

Thomas playfully shoved him. “Don’t go getting too cocky now.”

Alex just smirked more and shoved Thomas back, all while thinking about how he actually was grateful for his new found friendship with Thomas.


	48. Young Scrappy And Hungry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talk of debt, talk of injuries, mentions of death, mentions of military service, brief mention of committing homicide

Alex got his new leg the next week and was happily settled back in at work. John Adams hadn’t bothered Alex since that day, and apparently, according to Thomas himself, Adams would soon be the only republican councilor because Thomas and James Madison had both realized it truly was in their best interests to stop calling themselves Republicans.

Alex was typing away at work one day, responding to an email, when he got a phone call from a number he didn’t recognize, regardless of that, Alex answered it anyway.

“Alexander Hamilton here.” He spoke into the phone, which he pinned between his ear and shoulder as he continued typing, not wanting to lose his train of thought.

“Hey Alex, it’s uh, it’s me- Rebecca, from the bar?” Rebecca’s voice came over the phone.

“Rebecca! Hey! I’m glad to hear from you. How are you?” Alex said as he stopped typing and shifted to hold the phone with his hand, Rebecca was far more important than an email.

“Well like, all my leg bones were shattered, but I’m on the road to recovery. I had to take time off school though which sucks because I’m still paying tuition but I’m probably gonna have to repeat the semester. I’m trying to not focus too much on that though.”

“That really sucks, I’m sorry to hear.” Alex frowned. “Is the bar at least like, covering your hospital bills?” He asked. He didn’t know how much Rebecca’s hospital or other medical bills would be, but shattering all the bones in one’s leg didn’t sound like a very cheap event.

“Yeah they are, thankfully. So how are you?” Rebecca asked.

“Well, actually, funny story: when the roof collapsed something hit my head and I got a pretty bad concussion from it. I mean, I’m all good now though. I’m just glad to hear that you’re relatively okay.”

Rebecca was quiet for a moment. “You quite possibly saved my life that day. I mean, the doctor said if not for the tourniquet you tied I would’ve bled out, and I probably would’ve like, pulled that piece of glass out too, which just would’ve sped up the process. I just, I wanted to say thank you, for what you did.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I decided to go for a drink that night then huh?” Alex chuckled into the phone.

“I guess so, yeah.” Rebecca agreed.

Alex was now the one that was quiet for a moment. “Well, listen, Rebecca, I’ve been thinking about how you said you were going into massive amounts of debt going to culinary school and all, since that night, and now, hearing that you’re potentially gonna need to repeat this semester, I wanna do something for you.” Alex told her.

“What is it?” Rebecca sounded confused.

“Look, you’re what 19, 20 right?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, I’m 19.” Rebecca confirmed.

“You can’t even drink yet and you’re working in a bar to help pay massive debts because you decided to dare pursue your passion. I’ve been in your place before. I worked three jobs and then ended up joining the military just to cover my post secondary education.” Alex explained.

“I am, or I guess, was, working 2 jobs, the bar and a coffee shop. The bar is closed indefinitely and I can’t really work at the coffee shop right now though.” Rebecca admitted.

“Yeah well you shouldn’t have to do that, Rebecca. You should be able to focus on recovery and then school without the added stress of working so much. I wanna pay off your student loan, and cover the rest of your schooling.” Alex told Rebecca.

“I- are you serious? No. You’re fucking with me. Wait this isn’t some weird like, I have sex with you and you pay off my debts kinda thing is it?” Rebecca seemed to be shocked, her mind was obviously racing.

“I am very serious, and no this isn’t a sex thing. I’m happily gearing up to propose to my boyfriend, and I think you’re far too young for me anyway. I don’t know if you’ve done any research on me because of the business card, but I’m pretty well off, and I dunno, something about you just reminded me of myself I guess. I lost my leg in the army and you very easily could’ve lost your leg in that bar. I see myself in you, that’s why I wanna pay your loans off.”

“I- I’ll repay you.” Rebecca started.

Alex cut her off. “No, that’s the point, Rebecca. You don’t have to repay me. This is your lucky day. You don’t have to pay another red cent for your education.”

“But Alex, it’s like nearly 100,000 dollars.” Rebecca told him.

“That’s it?” Alex asked, surprised. “I was imagining it being closer to 150.” Alex admitted, then paused. “Look, I did a lotta dumb, risky shit to pursue my passion. I wish someone would’ve done for me what I’m trying to do for you here. I can’t explain it, but I just, I want to- no- I need to do this for you, okay?”

“But Alex, I, I can’t just, not repay you.” Rebecca pushed.

“Then repay me by acing your courses and becoming the best chef you can be. And maybe someday when you’re a world renowned 3-Michelin star multiple times over chef you’ll let me have the pleasure of eating dinner at your restaurant.” Alex told her seriously.

Rebecca could be heard sniffling over the phone, probably crying tears of joy and perhaps from being overwhelmed too. “I will. I promise. Just you wait.” She told him.

Alex smiled. Him and Rebecca talked a bit more and organized the payment details, and promised to keep in touch.

Alex hadn’t even realized Washington was standing in the doorway, listening to Alex’s side of the conversation. “Sir! I can explain!” Alex said quickly upon seeing Washington, thinking this was his boss being upset about taking a lengthy personal call when he was supposed to be working.

“There’s no need. What you’re doing for that girl is gonna be life changing for her.” George told him as he stepped into Alex’s office. As he spoke, he picked up an unsolved Rubik’s cube Alex had sitting on his desk. Alex had no idea how to solve it, he just liked fidgeting with it while he mentally planned things.

“I guess I really saw myself in her, ya know? I would’ve, well no, I actually literally killed to get my tuition paid for by someone else. Besides, it’s the season of giving right? Or it’s getting close to it.” Alex explained.

George nodded a bit. “I guess so.” He wandered further into Alex’s office and peaked out the window, beginning to spin the Rubik’s cube around, fidgeting with it himself. It was lightly raining out, and it was fairly cold, though snow probably wouldn’t come for another month at least. “So you plan to propose to John?” He asked as he looked outside.

“You hear that part too?” Alex chuckled a little nervously.

“I did.” Washington looked over at Alex.

Alex looked down, avoiding Washington’s gaze. “I’ve had the ring since about mid-August. I was originally thinking about doing it on his birthday but then everything happened with him falling off the wagon. I want to now though, seeing as we’ve worked things out. I just, am still working out all the details.” Alex admitted.

“You don’t have a single clue how to do it, do you?” George asked with a chuckle, continuing with the Rubik’s cube.

“Not a clue.” Alex admitted.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just make sure you talk with him about it first. Surprise proposals when you haven’t discussed marriage ever before, especially if done in public, are not the way to go. It’s too much pressure to put on a person.”

Alex nodded. “I hadn’t even thought about that, but I agree. I’ll make sure to talk to him before I do anything.” Alex promised.

“Good.” George told him. He set the Rubik’s cube back down on Alex’s desk, now solved. “I think we both have work to get back to.”

“Yeah.” Alex mumbled, staring at the solved Rubik’s cube. The thing had taunted him for months before he gave up on ever solving it, and Washington had solved it in a matter of mere minutes. If nothing else, Alex had to admit, Washington was full of surprises, that was for sure.

After work- which ended fairly early because it had been a slow day, a lot of people hadn’t come into work due to the poor weather making driving conditions less than ideal- Alex drove to John’s house, because John had worked last night, and would be starting stupid early the next morning, but Alex wanted to see him. Plus Alex was a good driver and wasn’t afraid of a little freezing rain. Soon he got to John’s house.

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” Alex asked once he was inside John’s house.

“I was thinking we could go Christmas shopping for a couple hours? For our friends and everyone.” John suggested.

“Isn’t it a little early?” Alex asked.

“Alex we’re celebrating with all our friends on 28th of November. It’s only about 3 weeks away. I like to shop early because sometimes I’ll find something I like for someone but I have to order it online and it needs time to arrive. Plus the shops are still relatively not too busy.” John explained his thought process.

“Can’t I just give everyone like, cash?” Alex asked. He hated shopping for things.

“No you most certainly can not.” John told him sternly.

“Why?” Alex asked. Cash easily was the best gift to give because it allows the receiver to get or do whatever they want from wherever they want with it.

“Because it’s wrong. It’s insensitive and screams ‘I don’t know you well enough to get you something meaningful’. Come on, I’ll help you find good gifts for everyone.” John told Alex.

Alex sighed a bit. “Alright.” He stole a kiss from John. “I did a good thing today.” He announced.

John returned the kiss, then headed over to the entryway, he grabbed his leather jacket and slipped on his shoes and headed out to the car while talking to Alex, who was following him. “Yeah? What’s that?” John asked.

“Relieved a 19 year old kid of 100,000 dollars worth of student debt.” Alex said casually as they got into John’s Jeep, which John usually took when the weather was less than ideal.

“Who was it? And why?” John asked curiously as he opened the garage door and started the car.

“Rebecca, from the bar accident, and I did it because she reminded me of myself.” Alex explained as he did up his seatbelt.

“That was a very selfless thing for you to do.” John commented as he pulled out of the garage and began driving towards the mall.

Alex shrugged. “I don’t need the money and someone doing something like that could’ve like, saved my life. That’s literally why I joined the army and I ended up losing my leg. Then 15 years later and the system is still severely broken and Rebecca doesn’t even join the military and nearly loses a leg trying to put herself through school. It wasn’t fair to me and isn’t fair to her. I just wanted her to catch a break.” Alex explained.

“And this is why I love you and simultaneously think you are one of the most reckless people I know.” John chuckled a bit.

“You say that like you didn’t buy a Maserati out right.” Alex teased. “She was worried I was trying to set up like, a sugar-daddy thing when I first told her.” Alex chuckled a bit.

“Oh?” John asked, glancing over at Alex with a look of amusement on his face.

“Yeah, but I told her I was very happy with my relationship with my boyfriend and that I didn’t see it ending any time soon.” Alex smiled at John.

“No?” John asked.

“Nope.” Alex said confidently.

“Good.” John smiled. “I’m never letting you go again.”

“Oh really?” Alex asked.

“Really.” John confirmed.

“Then does that mean you would like, consider marriage?” Alex asked, looking over at John and hoping it was casual enough to not raise suspicion.

John looked over at him as he stopped at a red light. “I, I mean, I don’t see why not. I mean like, I already plan to spend the rest of my life with you anyway. Plus the tax benefits and the insurance benefits? Definitely worth it.”

“That doesn’t sound very confident.” Alex frowned a bit.

John reached over and grabbed Alex’s hand reassuringly. “I just- I’m surprised by the question. I thought so soon after me falling off the wagon you wouldn’t really have anything like that on your mind. I mean, we’ve gotten back to normal really fast I guess, and I’m grateful for it, I just really didn’t expect this conversation at all.”

“If marriage isn’t your thing, babe, then like, that's totally okay. This is all just hypothetical.” Alex reassured John even though it was killing him internally.

John squeezed Alex’s hand, then pulled it away as the light turned green and he began driving again. “Alex, if you popped the question right now, I would say yes in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t care if you asked it here right now, in bed right before we fall asleep, in public? I wouldn’t care. I just would want you to be sure you can completely trust me again before you do it.” John paused. “I’ve rushed things before. I mean, me and Mathew started dating and then like, within 10 months we were planning a wedding. Our tour was set to send halfway through December and we wanted to be married before the new year, even if it wasn’t legal yet.” John explained.

Alex nodded in understanding.

“I would happily get engaged to you, any time Alex, but, I would wanna take some time, actually plan things out, ya know? Be engaged longer than 4 months before getting married. I am  **so** down for engagement but I need some time before I’d be down for marriage.” John continued to explain.

“I think that’s definitely fair.” Alex told John.

“While we’re on the topic of our future; would you ever, like, want kids? I seem to recall you mentioning something about it at the Mulligan’s barbeque a couple months ago.” John asked.

“Why, you’re not pregnant are you?” Alex joked.

John rolled his eyes. “Please, if anyone in this relationship is gonna get pregnant it’d be you, you fucking bottom.” John teased back.

“Rude.” Alex mumbled. “But seriously? It might be nice, but I would wanna foster-to-adopt kids. Not spend multiple thousands of dollars to make petri-dish babies.” Alex admitted.

“Yes!” John gasped. “I agree! Maria can hook us up with some kids.”

Alex chuckled a bit. “Could we foster, like teenagers? Or really like, kids 10 and up I guess?” He asked after a moment.

John looked at him, the look indicating that he was looking for an explanation as to Alex’s request.

“I just mean like, I was 12 when my mom died and I did everything in my power to keep myself from ending up the system because I knew I would just get bounced around from group home to group home because no one wants to take teenagers. Plus like, teens can communicate what they want and what they need and if they’re happy with us or if they don’t think we’re a good fit.” Alex paused, worried he was talking to much or that John wasn’t getting what he was saying.

“Go on.” John nodded a bit.

“Well like, adopting a 6 year old and a 15 year old are two entirely different things. A 6 year old isn’t old enough to decide for themselves if our home is a good fit, it’d be up to their social worker who really doesn’t even know them all that well, but a 15 year old can decide that for themselves.”

John smiled a bit. “I think we can definitely do that. We’ll be married and we’ll happily live together in my house with a bunch of teenagers we adopt and maybe like, a dog running around in the backyard.” He told Alex.

Alex smiled brightly. “It’s like the classic American family 2.5 kids and a white picket fence but better.”

“White picket fence 2.0” John offered.

“White picket fence 2.0.” Alex agreed.


	49. You'll Only Be A Moment Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings but slight NSFW (just some jokes, nothing serious y'all)

Soon it was Thanksgivingmas and for once rather than the Washingtons hosting, John was hosting. His house was decked out with a Christmas tree in the formal living room and a ton of Christmas lights set up outside. John was making the turkey and most of the fixings were being brought by everyone else so that John only really had to worry about hosting. The tree already had a fair number of gifts under it, with all of Alex and John’s gifts for everyone else and soon it would have all kinds of other gifts under it too. No one was under any pressure to get gifts for everyone, but Alex and John, both being well off people who loved their friends, splurged like crazy.

Alex had ended up getting a call from Rebecca around noon, asking to meet for coffee, and as much as Alex felt bad about leaving John to finish preparing for guests that evening, Alex ended up going after John encouraged him to go, but he had no idea that it was all John’s doing. 

By the time Alex arrived back at John’s almost everyone was there already, based on the cars that were parked outside John’s house. Alex quickly entered the house, kicking off his wet shoes and looking around for his crocs, which weren’t where he knew he left them. He carefully walked to look for them, but quickly realized the floor wasn’t slippery like it once was, even with only socks on.

“John, I think something got spilled on the floor over here, it’s sort of sticky!” Alex called out from near the doorway to John who was in the kitchen.

John turned around and looked at Alex. “You’re back!” He smiled.

Alex walked over to John, noticing that the entire floor was no longer slippery. “John your floor isn’t slippery. Why?” Alex demanded, admittedly thrown off guard by this sudden change.

“While you were gone this afternoon I had the flooring treated so that it’s slip-resistant. It’ll make cleaning a bit more complicated, but you shouldn’t have to wear crocs around my house. It’s not fair to you.” John explained as he took Alex’s hands.

“Wait, you- you planned this?” Alex seemed surprised but also more than happy.

“Yes. I may have found Rebecca’s name in your contacts on your phone and asked her to help me out. It’s totally worth it seeing your face right now. Happy Thanksgivingmas.” John smiled at Alex.

Alex smiled brightly back at John. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” John smiled.

“He spent a fortune on it too.” Hercules came over. “Had to pay ‘em extra to do it on the weekend right after Thanksgiving.” He explained to Alex.

“Hercules, you aren’t supposed to talk about how much gifts cost to the recipient.” John told him.

“I kinda already figured that, babe, but it just makes me so much more grateful.” Alex admitted and wrapped his arms around John in a hug.

“We’re just waiting for Laf, and the Washingtons. Alex did you get the dinner buns I asked you to?” John asked.

Alex nodded. “Bag is still by the door though, I got distracted by the floor thing.”

“Okay, all good. Turkey is finishing up and obviously that’s got the stuffing in it too, Liz and Herc brought pumpkin pie and homemade pierogies, Eliza and Maria brought mashed potatoes and glazed carrots, Angelica brought brussel sprouts which she so lovingly made with bacon,” John began explaining.

“What can I say John, I’m a woman after your true southerner heart.” Angelica joked.

“She also brought green beans because the kiddos hate brussel sprouts. Peggy brought some baked mac ‘n’ cheese and Lafayette is bringing these delicious pumpkin and cream cheese muffins, and Martha and George said they were bringing some kinda casserole and a salad so we got a full spread.” John rattled off.

“Sounds amazing.” Alex grinned.

“Daddy when are we gonna open presents?” Mary came over and asked Hercules.

“After dinner. And we can’t have dinner until uncle Laf, grandma Martha and grandpa George get here.” Hercules told her.

Mary huffed. “This sucks.”

“That awful huh?” Hercules asked as he reached down and began tickling her.

She squealed and began giggling, trying to pull away from her dad. “Okay okay it’s okay! It doesn’t suck!” She exclaimed.

Hercules stopped tickling her. “That’s what I thought.”

Mary sighed a bit and wandered off again to go play with Philip and her brother.

Soon everyone arrived and sat down for dinner, making John glad his dining room table had 3 leaves and could host 14 people. They set the food up on the kitchen counter buffet style, so everyone grabbed their plate and went through the kitchen. grabbing their food, then went and sat at the table. 

Everyone ate their fair share of dinner, then with some push from the kids, and Peggy, they decided to do presents before having any dessert.

“Alright usually we let the kids open their gives and give any gifts they have to give to the adults and then we let the kids run off while we do all the adult-to-adult gift exchanges.” Hercules explained as everyone sat down in the formal living room.

“Sounds good to me.” Alex nodded as he sat at the end of the couch, near where John had perched himself on the arm rest as seating space was tight even with the kids all on the floor around the tree.

The kids took turns opening presents. Of course because this wasn’t actually Christmas, the kids weren’t getting gifts from their parents or giving to their parents yet, and Philip would have to wait for gifts from Angelica and Peggy, but it didn’t mean the kids weren’t still getting spoiled.

Mary received a new sweater from Martha and George, a dress from Lafayette, Angelica got her a couple of age and reading-level appropriate books on being an independent(-ish), young girl, John had brought her a barbie doll with a similar skin-tone and hair type as Mary, and Alex, who was really unsure because he didn’t know Mary that well went with a nice stuffed animal that Mary told him was ‘the perfect softness’.

William mostly received stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes, a pair of soft, Christmas themed pajamas from the Washingtons, as well as a couple of picture books from Angelica.

Philip got a large art set from Martha and George that had all kinds of crayons, pencil crayons, markers, and even some paints which Eliza was quick to discreetly confiscate for safe-keeping purposes. Lafayette had gotten him a large, soft, squishy dinosaur stuffed animal that was the size of Philip, John had gotten him more new coloring books because the kid went through them faster than candy, and Alex got him a sort of scrap book where he could store all his loose-paper drawings because Eliza and Maria had no space left on the fridge and most of their friends were running low too.

The kids didn’t get the adults much, however Philip was very excited to bring a slender rectangular package over to Alex. “Open it! Open it!” He exclaimed as he pushed it into Alex’s hands.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Alex told Philip.

“But you said you wanted some! For your work!” Philip exclaimed.

Alex looked a bit confused, but opened the package, smiling as he saw that it was a brand-new package of Mr Sketch markers. He was surprised Philip had remembered that. “Thank you Philip.” Alex smiled at the small boy.

Philip hugged Alex before retreating with Mary and William to play with their new stuffed animals while the adults exchanged gifts between each other.

Angelica clearly did the majority of her shopping at a bookstore, not that anyone really minded. Alex received a mint condition first edition copy of a book he’d been searching for for a long time from her and that made him happy.

Everyone got at least a couple presents, all of which were meaningful to the recipient and Alex was quickly finding that maybe cash wasn’t the greatest gift after all.

When Alex thought all the gift giving was over he leaned back and rested his head against John. “This has easily been the best Christmas ever. I mean, you’re all just, amazing and I’m so happy to have reconnected with you all. Had someone told me this is where I’d be for Thanksgiving two years ago I would’ve laughed in their face. I just- I’m really grateful to have you guys back in my life.” Alex referred to his fellow veterans. “And to have made friends with you guys,” Alex referred to Eliza, Maria, Peggy, Liz, and Martha.

“We’re glad to have you back too, Alex.” Angelica smiled.

“Alex you’re only saying all this because you’ve never received so many gifts on Christmas before.” Hercules teased.

“No. I mean that sincerely. And I think I’m more happy being on the giving end.” Alex told Hercules.

“Your position in the bedroom would suggest otherwise.” John teased Alex.

Alex turned bright red. “John my boss is  _ right there _ .” He mumbled, embarrassed, covering his face with his hands.

“You act like we’re surprised to find this out.” Liz teased.

“I top everyone but, like, topping you was a whole other level.” Angelica told Alex.

“I mean, did you really think any of us believed you could top John?” Lafayette scoffed. “Even  _ Hercules _ could not top John.”

“Alex couldn’t top anyone, let’s be real and face the facts here guys.” Angelica chuckled.

Alex curled in on himself. “I take it back, y’all suck, I wanna go back to when I didn’t know where y’all were.”

“You don’t mean that.” Martha told him.

Alex sighed. “You’re right. I don’t. Seriously though, all jokes aside, I really do mean it when I say this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I mean, you’re all just so amazing, and the gifts were incredibly well thought out and I just, wow, you’re all amazing.”

“Speaking of gifts, I kinda have one more for you, but it’s not so much as a gift but a question.” John said to Alex.

“Oh?” Alex asked, looking over at John. “What’s the question?”

“Well first off, I don’t know if you noticed but in addition to the floor getting treated, I had a handrail installed in the shower in the main bathroom today, and I’m having a bench installed in the shower in the ensuite bathroom next week.” John explained.

“R- really why?” Alex asked.

“Because, I was hoping that you would consider moving in with me? I know your apartment is closer to your work and you’ve been in it for a long time and moving might be hard because you’re so picky about things having their specific spots and all but-” John was basically rambling at that point, so Alex cut him off.

“John. I would love to move in with you.” Alex smiled. “I think my biggest complaint is actually that I’m gonna lose garage parking for my car.” He admitted.

“Oh, but you’re not.” John smiled more.

“John you have three cars and a three car garage.” Alex frowned.

“Then it’s a good thing me and George have an extra space in our garage, huh?” Martha said.

“Wait what?” Alex was confused.

“When I heard of his plans, I offered to let him use our extra garage space. He can keep the Jeep in our garage.” George explained.

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” Alex observed. “You sure you’re okay with not having the Jeep right here in like, a blizzard?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.” John admitted. “If the forecast predicts bad weather I’ll take the Civic over there and swap out before it gets bad.”

“Well, like I said, I’d be happy to move in with you.” Alex smiled.

John smiled back. “We can put your books in the built-ins in the office rather than all my weird little trinkets and my half a shelf of medical textbooks, and hell you can basically take the office, I barely use it.” John told Alex.

“I happen to like all your weird little trinkets in your office. It’s a big office, we could fit both our desks in there, why not share it?” Alex suggested, thinking fondly of the odd little statues, toys, and random collector items that filled the shelves in John’s office, like a little museum into John’s interests.

“Whatever you want. As long as we fall asleep in the same bed at the end of the day every night, I don’t care.” John smiled.

Alex smiled back.

The children were soon called back to the dining room for dessert and Philip happened to be sitting next to Alex while John was in the kitchen talking with Liz and Lafayette.

“Uncle Alex?” Philip asked, turning to Alex before taking a small bite of his pie.

“Yes Pip?” Alex asked in return, watching to make sure Philip didn’t accidentally make a mess.

“Are you and uncle John married?” Philip asked once he finished chewing his food.

“No we aren’t.” Alex told Philip.

“Are you guys gonna get married?” Philip put down his fork and began to wrap his curly hair around his finger as a way to fidget.

“I think so, yeah.” Alex smiled as he admitted it.

“When?” Philip asked.

“I don’t know. See, usually when two people are gonna get married, one asks the other and gives them a very pretty ring. Grandpa George asked grandma Martha, and your mama asked your mom, and uncle Herc asked aunty Liz. But neither me or John have asked each other yet, so we can’t get married yet.” Alex explained to Philip.

“You should ask him!” Philip exclaimed.

Alex bit his lip. “If I tell you a  **super** top secret secret, can you keep it safe?” He asked, looking over to make sure John was still distracted, which he was.

Philip nodded. He looked over and made sure his mama couldn’t hear. “One time me and mom stayed up  _ reallllly _ late when mama was working, and we gotsdid pizza and ate ice cream and watched  _ lots  _ of movies. Mom said not to tell mama, and mama still doesn’t know and it was  _ forever _ ago.” Philip told Alex quietly.

Alex nodded and made the ‘come closer’ motion with his index finger.

Philip leaned in, his ear close to Alex’s mouth.

“Well the truth is, Pip, that I plan to ask uncle John to marry me. I already have a pretty ring for him and everything.” He whispered in Philip’s ear.

Philip pulled away. “Wow.” He whispered. “I won’t tell anyone! Top-secret!” He then made the motion of zipping his lips, locking them and throwing away the key.

“Top-secret.” Alex repeated, smiling at Philip.

“Is it true that you’re gonna live here with Uncle John now?” Philip then asked Alex.

Alex nodded. “Yes I am. It means I’ll probably get to see a lot more of you.”

“We can color together!” Philip exclaimed happily.

“Yes we can.” Alex smiled.

“This is gonna be good.” Philip told him.

Alex just smiled more. It definitely was, without a single doubt, gonna be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Alex's and Philip's relationship so much y'all, I can't even explain it


	50. Tomorrow There'll Be More Of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talk of death, grieving(?), mentions of military service, talk of nightmares
> 
> Also some NSFW again. Nothing graphic, just heavily implied

The next day Alex and John drove Lafayette to the airport, as he was headed back to France, where he would be for the next month. His return date was set for December 30th. Alex and John accompanied Lafayette through security, as he was early for his flight and barring any delays would have a while to wait. Soon, however, it was time for Lafayette to board.

“Have a safe flight, call us when you land, and send your grandmother my love.” John told Lafayette.

“And don’t run into your ex-wife.” Alex told Lafayette with a chuckle- a stark contrast from what John had said that earned Alex a playful smack from John.

“No John, he is right, I sincerely hope I do not see Adrienne while in France. She just broke up with her boyfriend and she likes to rebound with exes. I do not want to get roped into that.” Lafayette shuddered a bit at the thought.

Alex chuckled, and received a joking glare from John for it.

“I will call when I land and don’t worry, my grandmere has your love, John.” Lafayette promised.

“Thank you. See you New Years Eve eve.” John told him.

“Yes you will.” Lafayette smiled.

Alex and John watched Lafayette board the flight, then headed home.

Over the next couple weeks Alex worked to sell or recycle a lot of his furniture, although his desk and the office chair that went with it, as well as his arm chair, did get moved to John’s as well as most of his belongings, although some stuff did get sold or thrown away. Alex and John decided to keep John’s plates and bowls set, both of their sets of cups and mugs, and Alex’s silverware instead of John’s, as well as most of Alex’s pots and pans. Alex’s balcony furniture was now set up on John’s deck, and John was happy to ditch some of his older bedding in favor of stuff Alex had. A lot of the stuff in Alex’s storage unit got sold or thrown away but the important stuff got put in John’s cellar. They had decided together to both get rid of their current dressers in favour of using money made by selling other stuff to buy a new, larger dresser that had enough space for the both of them.

Just two weeks before Christmas Alex said goodbye to Bernard and handed over the keys to his apartment to the new owner. Alex drove to John’s, and his house now too- he was still getting used to that part- after handing the keys over to the new owner. Alex parked in the garage which also felt a little strange, but he was happy with it. He made sure the garage door was closed then headed into the house.

“John! I’m home!” Alex called out as he entered the house from the garage, not sure where John was.

“Kitchen!” John called out.

Alex wandered into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around John, who seemed to be making tea, and Alex hugged him from behind. “My old apartment now officially belongs to the new owners and is no longer my apartment.” Alex announced.

John smiled a bit. “I still can’t believe you found someone who wanted to buy the place outright.” He admitted.

“It’s a nice building in a good area. I mean, the offer was almost $50,000 below asking price but when it’s outright, and you’re getting 1.45 million in one big lump sum, you don’t miss the 50k.” Alex grinned.

“You’re a dork who plays with money too much.” John chuckled and turned around in Alex’s arms to kiss him.

Alex happily kissed back. “Yes, but I’m a rich dork who knows how to properly play with money.”

John nodded. “And you’re my dork.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah I am.” He nodded. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?” He asked.

“Nothing specific. We can do whatever we want, although I have work at midnight so I’ll probably wanna sleep for a while later before work.” John explained.

The two decided to put on a movie in the downstairs living room, but only about a half hour in John moved to straddle Alex and began kissing him, which quickly escalated to them moving to the bedroom and tiring each other out to the point that they almost immediately passed out upon finishing what had been their third round.

Alex was woken up a couple hours later by the sound of whimpering. He looked over at John and it quickly became clear that John was having a nightmare. “John baby, wake up for me.” Alex gently rubbed his shoulder.

John woke up, beginning to cry.

Alex was quick to pull John close to him. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay.” Alex said softly.

“It seemed so real.” John whispered into Alex’s chest.

“You wanna tell me about it?” Alex asked gently as he sat up and readjusted the blanket to cover him.

“It was Mathew.” John admitted quietly.

Alex nodded a bit. “Was it like a flashback?” He asked, knowing that the nightmares could be a whole range of different things.

John shook his head. “No. It was, everything he and I ever wanted.” John sniffled and he sat up too, not bothering to fight with the blanket. “We had this beautiful brownstone, and a black lab, and we were legally married, and we had two sons and a daughter, all two years apart and we didn’t know who their actual dads were but the oldest boy looked just like him and the girl looked just like me, and the youngest looked like a perfect mix of us both somehow and I was a family physician home by 5:30 everyday and and he coached our son’s soccer team and I coached the little league team our daughter played for and- and it was perfect.” He explained with tears falling down his face as he did so.

Alex handed him a tissue and gently rubbed John’s shoulder in a comforting manner.

“We had so many dreams, so many plans. And I know, I know, I’m with you and I’m happy with you but, I just...” John trailed off as he tried to keep it together.

“Mathew was around first, you loved him first, you made plans with him first and he was stolen from you too soon. It’s okay to still miss him and hurt over him, John. I would never be mad at you for that. I promise.”

“I haven’t visited his grave in, gosh, 10 years now I think. I stopped by to tell him that I finally graduated med school and I haven’t really been back since. I used to go all the time.” John admitted.

“Do you want to go visit his grave?” Alex asked gently.

“I- I dunno. I feel like, it’d be taking a step back. I mean, when I first lost him I went to his grave all the time, for a while I basically lived in the cemetery. I slowly stopped going so much, and eventually only went when I was really sad or had big news. Stopping visiting was sort of like, saying that I had accepted that he was gone.” John went quiet. “Do you believe that like, the dead watch over us? Like, do you think Mathew and my mom are watching over me? And your mom is watching over you?” John asked.

Alex nodded. “I do, I don’t think they can do anything to alter or change our lives or like, protect us or whatever, but I do think they can watch us.” He told John.

“Do you think- do you think that my mom and Mathew like what they see?” John barely spoke above a whisper, as though he already had his mind made up that they didn’t.

“What’s there not to like?” Alex asked.

“Alcoholism. Stopping looking for you. Letting you go that night in Iraq. Not visiting my siblings enough. My relationship with you. Falling off the wagon. So many things.”

“John, you’re a kick-ass surgeon who saves lives on the daily and you’re selfless and an amazing friend and boyfriend and uncle and brother. If I were your mom, or Mathew, I would be nothing but proud of you.” Alex told him.

“Do you think Mathew is mad at me for dating again? And planning a life with another man?” John asked quietly.

“Well I didn’t know him, but I’m guessing he would’ve wanted you to be happy, yeah?” Alex suggested.

John nodded.

“Then you just gotta believe that he wouldn’t be mad. I mean, if dating again and planning a life with someone else brings you happiness, why wouldn’t he want that for you?” Alex pointed out.

John nodded a bit. “That’s a good point.”

Alex continued to do his best to reassure John and to try and make him feel better.

“I’m gonna keep thinking about visiting his grave. I mean, it’s so sad and painful there, but at the same time, right now I’m in so much pain here too.” John admitted.

“Take all the time you need to, dear. I’ll stand by you no matter what you choose.” Alex reassured him.

“Thank you.” John mumbled. He looked at the time. It was early evening, still a little too early for dinner even. “I’m gonna get another half hour or hour of sleep I think. I gotta start work at midnight tonight, so…”

“Of course.” Alex kissed John’s head. “I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready?” He offered.

John nodded and curled back up under the blankets, soon falling back asleep.

After a while, John got up and wandered into the kitchen. “I’m gonna go to Mathew’s grave.” He told Alex.

Alex nodded. “Do you want me to come or do you wanna go alone?” Alex asked, looking up from whatever it was he was cooking for dinner.

John was quiet for a moment. “This is something I gotta do by myself I think.”

“Alright. Take all the time you need. Do you wanna go tonight or some other time?” Alex asked.

“I think that I need to go now.” John said automatically.

Alex nodded. “Alright. I’ll make sure dinner is still nice and hot when you get back.” He promised.

“Thank you, Alex.” John smiled softly. He quickly got ready and left the house. He drove to the cemetery, stopping on the way to buy flowers, and still feeling like he got there in no time at all. He didn’t pay much attention to the type of flowers he’d bought, but settled on some pretty blue ones. He barely even recalled making the transaction. Despite not having gone in a long time, John knew exactly where Mathew’s grave was, probably because he used to go so often when Mathew first died. John walked to the grave, and standing out against the snow on Mathew’s grave was a bright yellow sticky note, obviously it hadn’t been there long, or it would’ve been soggy and buried underneath the snow.

John picked it up and read it.

_ ‘Don’t stress, just be happy’ _

John felt his chest tighten as tears stung his eyes and threatened to fall for the second time in less than an hour. He didn’t know who or what put that sticky there, but it felt like someone was trying to send him a message. A message that it was okay to move on and be happy with Alex. He tucked the sticky note in his pocket and brushed the snow off Mathew’s gravestone, reading it despite knowing exactly what it said.

_ ‘Mathew Webb  _

_ 1981 - 2004  _

_ Died in Service of Our Country  _

_ Always Loved Forever Remembered’ _

John knelt down in front of the gravestone, not caring that he was kneeling in the snow, and barely registering the cold against his legs. “I still love you Mathew, I still love you so so much, but I think you want me to be happy, even if it means being with Alex instead of you.” John whispered out loud.

John suddenly was gently shaken awake by Alex, and realized he had been dreaming about going to Mathew’s grave, not actually having gone. It made sense that it was a dream, he got to the cemetery in no time, dinner hadn’t had a smell, he couldn’t recall having seen a clock or the time, and the snow hadn’t been cold. But the dream had still felt so real.

“Supper’s ready dear.” Alex told John gently, then noticed that John seemed off. “Are you okay?”

“I had another dream. I went to Mathew’s grave and I found this sticky note on his gravestone with writing on it. It said ‘don’t stress, just be happy’.”

“Huh.” Alex said and sat down on the bed next to John.

“It felt so real.” John admitted. “Like, I don’t even need to go now, because I already did.” He explained to Alex.

Alex nodded a bit. “I made stir fry for dinner if you’re up to eating at all.” He told John.

John nodded. “I’m always up to eat your delicious cooking.” He smiled a little.

“Delicious cooking?” Alex asked, he figured he was okay at cooking, but not that great.

“Yes.” John told him. “I really lucked out in that department, and all the others really. I’ve got a hot boyfriend, who is crazy smart, just a little rich, and an amazing cook.”

Alex smiled at John. “Come on you dork, before it gets cold.”

It had already cooled, but Alex was quick to reheat it and dish out two bowls, one for him, and one for John, who as promised, was definitely up to eating, despite having such a rough day. Alex took this as a sign that John would be okay, but he would still be sure to be around for John in case he needed someone to talk to.

“Alex?” John asked as he was getting ready for work.

“Yes dear?” Alex asked as he got ready for bed.

“That dream earlier, where I went to Mathew’s grave? Do you think maybe that was him sending me a message?” John asked as he worked to dry his hair post shower.

“I mean, I think it could be. And the fact that the dream felt so real is also some good evidence.” Alex told him as he finished brushing his teeth.

“I miss him.” John mumbled.

“I know.” Alex told John gently. “Are you sure you want to go to work? You could probably call in sick.” Alex suggested.

“No, I want to work, I need to do something to get my mind off this.” John told Alex.

“Alright. I love you.” Alex tried.

“I love you too. And thank you for being so understanding with all this stuff today.” John told Alex as he tied his hair up in a bun.

“Of course. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t help you with this kinda stuff?” Alex reassured John as he went into the bedroom and pulled the sweatpants he was wearing off.

“I guess that’s a good point.” John told him, following Alex out of the bathroom and making sure he had his phone, wallet, and keys.

“Have a good shift. Don’t work too hard.” Alex told John and stole a kiss from him.

John happily returned the kiss. “Sleep well. Try not to miss me too much.” He teased. “Goodbye my dear.”

“Bye babe.” Alex told John and waited until John left the house to shoot Eliza a text.

[Are you working with John tonight?]

[Yeah, why?] Eliza soon responded.

[Just keep an eye out for him? He’s had a bit of a rough day. He had a couple dreams about Mathew and so all that is on his mind. He says he’s okay, but I just, I dunno, make sure he is if you get the chance?] Alex requested.

[Got it, will do. Thanks for looking out for him, Alex, you really are a good boyfriend. I’m sure he just needs some time. He always bounces back.] Eliza promised.

Knowing that Eliza was looking out for John allowed Alex to go to sleep comfortably, knowing that John would- even if not now, but eventually- be okay.


	51. The Sky's The Limit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Brief mention of alcohol, brief mention of vague injuries, talk of military service

Despite Christmas fast approaching, Alex did still have to work. Alex had ended up bringing his Mr Sketch markers from Philip to work when he first got them, but had yet to use them. Alex had a bit of a bad habit of taking highlighters from his office to Washington’s office or to meetings and leaving them there, meaning he was always fairly low on them. Then one day, when he couldn’t find any actual highlighters, but could find the markers from Philip, he decided to say screw it, and used the yellow one. It was a bit too dark to pass for a regular highlighter, but it did the job well enough and Alex used it for the rest of the day. Towards the end of the day he took the paper work that needed to go to different people around the office and gave it to them, and was soon heading home.

On his way out of the building Washington came over to Alex. “Alexander, wait up one moment.” George said as he came up behind Alex.

Alex stopped and looked over. “Hello sir.” He greeted.

“First of a couple things, those documents you gave me just now, why did they smell like lemon?” George asked curiously as they both slowly walked to where they’d parked their cars.

“Oh, that was the highlighter.” Alex explained.

George looked confused.

“Well, I couldn’t find a real highlighter, I think you would know how I always bring them to your office and then-”

“Leave them there? Yes, painfully aware.” George told him.

“Right, so anyway, I couldn’t find a highlighter, but I could find the Mr Sketch markers Philip Schuyler gave me at Thanksgivingmas, and well I did promise the kid they would get used.” Alex explained a bit awkwardly, hoping Washington wouldn’t mind too much.

George simply nodded. “Understandable. As long as the color is light enough that I can easily read the writing, use them as much as you please. Plus if you leave those all over the place we’ll know who to return them to.”

“I guess so.” Alex chuckled a bit. “Was there anything else, sir?”

“Yes, me and Martha just wanted to invite you and John for dinner on Christmas and I wanted to double check that the two of you will be coming to the New Years Eve party.” George informed Alex.

“We will definitely be there at the New Years Eve party and I’ll talk to John about Christmas dinner.” Alex told Washington.

George nodded. “Have you talked with John about anything else?” He then asked suggestively.

Alex looked confused for a second. “Oh, yeah, I have, it’s a go, I’m just working out the last minute details.”

“Last minute details? Sounds like you’re planning to do it soon.” George observed.

Alex nodded. “I am, and before you ask what the plans are, I’m not telling. The people that need to know, know, and I can’t have anyone else knowing and potentially spoiling the surprise.” He explained to Washington.

“Alexander do you really think that I would spoil the surprise?” George asked.

“I didn’t think that at first, but your wife warned me otherwise. She said that you were actually sort of terrible at keeping such secrets.”

“Martha knows?” George seemed surprised that his wife knew and he didn’t.

“Yes, because she won’t let it slip, and she’s part of the plans.” Alex told George. “And don’t think she’s gonna tell you either, her lips are sealed.” He added.

Washington frowned a bit. “Betrayed by my own son.” He shook his head and sighed.

“Not your son.” Alex said simply and walked off to his car. “Have a goodnight.” He told Washington.

“I certainly will not have a good night. I’ll be dealing with the emotional fallout of being betrayed by my own son.” George told Alex dramatically, in a joking manner. “Night Alex.” He called out then got into his own car.

Alex got home just as John was arriving home too. He waited for John to pull into the garage, then Alex pulled in next to him.

“Hey babe, how was your day?” Alex asked as he got out of his car and walked over to John, hugging him and resting his head on John’s shoulder, tired from a long day at work.

“It was pretty good. How was yours?” John asked as he hugged back and gently petted Alex’s hair affectionately.

“I used those Mr Sketch markers Philip gave me. Washington said he didn’t mind if I kept using them, and he also invited us to have Christmas dinner with him and Martha.” Alex told John and pulled away so they could go inside the house rather than standing in the garage.

John nodded a bit and followed Alex to the door. “Do you want to go to Christmas dinner?” He asked.

“Beats having Chinese food in our pajamas.” Alex pointed out, looking at John over his shoulder as he unlocked the door to get into the house.

“Eating Chinese food in pajamas is all I ever wanted for Christmas as a kid.” John admitted, chuckling a bit.

Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m aware that you wished for quiet Christmases as a kid. But you haven’t been a child in a long time. dear. Are we going or not?”

“Sure, let’s do it.” John smiled and stole a kiss from Alex as they stepped into the house.

In no time at all it was Christmas morning. Alex and John slept in late, then woke up and laid in bed for a while, just talking, cuddling, and enjoying each other's company.

“Alright, breakfast first or presents first?” John asked as he sat up.

“If I don’t eat something with my meds I’ll get nauseous.” Alex told John, despite the fact that John knew it.

“Me too.” John nodded.

“We sound so old.” Alex sighed. He sat up at the edge of the bed and put his leg on. 

“The oldest. We should just retire right now, and you can start using your cane all the time, and we’ll set some chairs on the front porch and we can yell at anyone who comes on our lawn.” John joked as he pulled his hair into a messy bun.

Alex smiled brightly. “You get it.” Him and John then both took their meds and headed down to the kitchen.

“As a kid on Christmas morning we always had cinnamon buns and orange juice for breakfast, so that’s what I picked up.” John explained to Alex as he pulled out a package of cinnamon buns and two plates.

Alex smiled. “I think I like that tradition.” He told John as he grabbed two glasses as well as the orange juice from out of the fridge.

“Then we’ll keep it.” John smiled back. He handed Alex his plate.

“Thank you dear.” Alex handed John his orange juice.

They ate their breakfast, then went to the living room to exchange their gifts for each other. There weren’t a ton of gifts because they decided to limit how much they could spend to $300- minus John’s home improvements- but there were still a couple for each of them. They decided on the limit because they both knew that the other had the means and the motive to spoil each other, and decided it was best so that they didn’t go overboard with gifts for each other.

Alex received a custom made leather bound notebook that had his name on it engraved in the leather, a very nice, expensive fountain pen, and a book that John had figured he would like.

John received a ‘World’s-hottest-boyfriend’ coffee mug, a full DVD set of a TV show he liked, and some really nice running shoes that John had seen online and wanted to buy, but the website crashed before he could and he couldn’t find them again.

“You know Alex, you’re a pretty good gift giver for a guy who didn’t celebrate Christmas much as a kid.” John told Alex as they set up a Christmas movie on the TV in the downstairs living room.

“I tried.” Alex shrugged as he sat down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn he’d made for them.

“And succeeded.” John smiled as he came over to the couch and joined Alex, stealing a kiss from him and a couple pieces of popcorn. “I can’t believe that I spent Christmas last year at work, I mean, that was kinda a fun case, but still, I was working on Christmas by choice.” John sighed a bit.

“What was the case?” Alex asked curiously.

“Pressure cooker exploded, there was all kinds of internal injuries and broken bones and, ugh, lots of fun.” John told Alex.

“Only you would find something like that fun.” Alex shook his head a bit at John.

“The guy lived if it helps.” John offered.

“I mean, okay yeah it does but like, still.”

“I think you’re just jealous because my job is far more exciting than yours.” John said, then popped some popcorn into his mouth.

“I love you, babe, and I respect the work you do, but I will  _ never _ be jealous of spending the day elbow deep inside someone’s guts.” Alex shuddered a bit at the thought.

John chuckled.

A couple hours later Alex and John were at the Washingtons’, sitting down for dinner.

“So, how was your day together? John you weren’t working were you?” Martha asked.

“Nope. Took the day off for once. It was nice.” John smiled a bit as he scooped some mashed potatoes from the serving bowl and put them on Alex’s plate, then repeated action for himself.

“We slept in, had breakfast, exchanged our gifts, and then cuddled and watched movies for a couple hours before coming here.” Alex told Martha.

“I wish George would sleep in with me sometime. He’s always up at 5:30 on the dot, doesn’t even need an alarm clock.” Martha glared at George.

“I can’t help it! It’s how I’m wired.” George defended himself.

“But would it kill you to just, stay in bed, even for a half hour longer? You don’t have to sleep, just, stay there with me, keep me warm, be a nice husband.” Martha told George.

“Maybe it wouldn’t.” George admitted.

“Exactly.” Martha said.

“Don’t worry, I have trouble getting Alex to stay in bed with me too sometimes. The second he’s awake he’s up and running most days.” John shook his head.

“I’d blame the army, but, you seem to know how to stay in bed and so do I.” Martha shook her head. “Like father like son I guess.”

“Maybe one night after he falls asleep I’ll hide his leg, then he has to wait until I’m up.” John chuckled.

“Martha you served?” Alex asked, surprised to hear it, he hadn’t known that and was surprised that he hadn’t.

“I never officially enlisted, but I worked as a nurse for the army for a long time. I did quite a few tours overseas, just working in medical tents.” Martha explained.

“I never knew that.” Alex admitted.

“It was a long time ago. It’s actually how me and George met.” Martha told Alex, while looking over at her husband fondly.

“It’s hard to picture George not being married to you.” John admitted. “I just can’t imagine him as a bachelor.”

“Before he met me he was a disaster, that's for sure.” Martha told John. “Being a bachelor was not a good look for him.”

“No way.” Alex seemed to be in disbelief at the idea that Washington could ever have been a disaster.

“Yep, total mess.” Martha looked at George.

“It wasn’t that bad.” George tried to defend himself.

“It was bad. Really bad.” Martha told her husband.

John chuckled and nudged Alex. “Think that’ll be us in 20 years?”

“If it’s not I’m demanding a refund.” Alex chuckled.

John smiled at him.

Martha also smiled at them. “New Years Eve should be a good one this year, everyone from your guys’ group of friends is coming, a couple of my friends from the neighbourhood are coming along with their spouses,” She began listing people.

George continued. “James and Dolly Madison are coming, and Thomas Jefferson is coming and perhaps I believe his daughter is as well.”

“Wait Thomas Jefferson has a kid? I always thought he was like, the living embodiment of bachelor life.” John seemed surprised to hear it.

“I did too, but nope, he has a 14 year old daughter, he’s been a single parent since his wife died 4 years ago.” Alex explained. “He told me about it when we went drinking.”

“Huh.” John mumbled.

“Oh John, I wanted to ask you, seeing as it will be New Years Eve would it be alright if we had champagne for the party? If not it’s totally okay.” Martha asked.

“It’s alright. I can control myself.” John reassured her.

She nodded. “Thank you. I’ll make sure to have some sparkling apple cider for you to ring in the new year with.” Martha told him.

“Thank you.” John smiled.

Alex and John had a lovely dinner with George and Martha, then headed home as it was beginning to snow ever so lightly, making for a really beautiful evening.

“You know what we should do to end our night off?” Alex asked as they pulled up to the house and into the garage.

“Hmm?” John asked.

“I think we should make use of the hot tub.” Alex suggested.

“I think we should too.” John agreed.

Soon the two were in the hot tub, snuggled up next to each other in the water up to their necks, enjoying watching the snow fall and talking under the colorful light of the Christmas lights John had set up on the back deck.

“I think that this year has really been my best Christmas ever.” Alex admitted to John.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Alex nodded.

“Well I’m glad I got to be here for it.” John smiled.

“I’m glad you were here for it too. I never want to spend another Christmas without you.” Alex told John.

“You won’t have to.”

“Promise?” Alex asked John. He had to admit, it was taking a lot of strength to not just pop the question right there.

“I promise.” John smiled.


	52. Yo This One's Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of alcohol and drugs, brief mention of sex addiction

In no time at all it was December 30th, and Alex and John were at the airport to pick Lafayette up. They were waiting for him at the arrivals area.

“I could never bounce around like he does. New York, then DC, back to New York, back to DC, back to New York again, and then France all in one year?.” Alex shook his head.

“Would you ever want like, a winter home though? Like somewhere warm to go for winter once you’ve retired and the kids are all off to college?” John asked.

“Maybe, yeah, like, in the Caribbean perhaps. We could get a place right on the water in Puerto Rico or somewhere, leave right after Thanksgivingmas and stay until like, April.” Alex suggested.

“That would be really nice.” John smiled.

“It would.” Alex agreed. “But I could never leave New York for good, we’d have to come back. I mean, New York City might not be the most perfect place in the world but it owns my heart.”

“I know it does. I don’t think you could ever truly leave. I probably couldn’t either.” John admitted.

“Your house for late April through November, and Puerto Rico for December through early April.” Alex decided.

“Our house.” John reminded Alex. “It’s our house, dear.”

“I’m just still getting used to that part.” Alex admitted. “But yes, our house.” Alex smiled at John.

“Mon amis!” Lafayette called out as he came over to them, pulling both of them into a tight group hug. “Oh how I have missed you guys.” Laf’s accent seemed thicker than when he left despite having only been away for a month.

“We missed you too.” John smiled as he hugged Lafayette back.

“How was France?” Alex asked when they all finally pulled away from the hug.

“It was wonderful. My grandmere sends her love and I did not see or hear from Adrienne dieu merci.” Lafayette reported.

Alex chuckled a bit. “You got all your bags?” Alex asked.

Lafayette nodded. “Yes I do.”

“In that case come on world traveler, let’s get you home.” John smiled as he began to lead them out of the airport and to the car.

“I missed France, but every time I go, I am reminded that New York City is my true home. I’ll always love France, but, for some reason I am drawn to NYC more.” Lafayette admitted.

“I get it. Me and John were just saying how we could never leave NYC for good either. We might get a vacation home for winter, but we'd always come back for some of spring, summer, and fall.” Alex told Lafayette.

“I honestly believe that you guys are living every gay teenager’s fantasy. I mean, being with someone you love for the rest of your lives, in careers you thoroughly enjoy, enough money to never have to worry, and getting to do whatever you want with your lives.” Lafayette pointed out.

“Honestly, it’s kinda sad that for people that is a fantasy.” John sighed a bit.

“It is. We just gotta hope that one day it won’t be I guess.” Alex sighed a bit at the thought.

The next day obviously was New Years Eve and Alex and John were arriving at the Washington’s party a little late. It seemed most of the guests were already there when Alex and John entered their house, they immediately headed to the kitchen to say hello to Martha. The house was decorated with lots of gold streamers and such, and the lighting was lower than normal, music was playing, not too loud, but enough to be heard, and there were lots of snacks and drinks set up in the kitchen. Everyone was dressed up fairly fancy. Alex had worn the tighter dress pants he had on his and John’s first date, with the matching suit jacket, and white shirt with his hair neatly tied back in a ponytail. John was wearing blue skinny jeans, a thin red knit sweater, a black suit jacket, with a belt, and his hair in a bun on top of his head that was a little messy, but in a stylish way.

“Alex, John, you made it!” Martha exclaimed and smiled upon seeing them.

“Yes, we ended up running a little behind but we’re here now.” Alex told her.

“All that matters is that you’re here now, and besides, it’s not like you missed midnight so really it’s not a big deal.” Martha smiled at them warmly.

Alex nodded and wandered off as John started up a conversation with Martha. He went over to Angelica. “Hey.”

“Hi. You finally decided to show up.” Angelica teased.

“Oh please, we’re maybe a half hour late.” Alex rolled his eyes.

“And what could’ve possibly been so important that you ended up being late anyway?” Angelica asked.

Alex bit his lip. “John wanted to sneak in a quickie before we came.” He admitted quietly.

Angelica sighed and rolled her eyes again. “You two are sex addicts.” She mumbled. “You ready to do this?”

“I’m gonna ignore the sex addicts thing, because sex addiction is a real issue that people deal with and that is not what me and John are dealing with and also, like you’ve never been late arriving to or left something early to go hook up with someone.” Alex told her. “In response to your question, I’m so ready.” Alex added.

“You want it now? It’s in my purse.” Angelica offered.

Alex checked the time. “Maybe I’ll actually grab it later? Closer to when I need it?” He suggested.

“Sure thing, come find me when you want it.” Angelica told him and got pulled away by Peggy for something.

Before Alex had a chance to get a little panicky looking for someone he knew James Madison came over with a woman who must’ve been Dolly on his arm.

“Hello Alexander.” James greeted.

“James, it’s lovely to see you, and you must be Dolly,” Alex said, turning his focus to Dolly. “Your husband gushes about you constantly.” Alex extended a hand for her to shake.

Dolly smiled as she shook Alex’s hand. “I hope he does.” She chuckled. “I actually wanted to just, say thank you, for your plan to give more funding for social workers. James told me you’d be here tonight and I’d hoped I’d the chance to tell you that. They do such important work and it’s nice to see the city finally giving them the funding they deserve.”

“Hey I just came up with the plan, you should thank your husband for voting yes to it, and well him and Thomas put up quite a fight against it, in the end I think it just helped sell more people on the plan.” Alex told her. “I was actually inspired to come up with the plan by my friend Maria, who is a social worker and actually happens to be here tonight.” Alex explained.

“Well thank you for coming up with the plan then. If you ever wanted to run for an elected position, I would vote for you.” Dolly smiled more.

“What if he was running against me?” James asked.

“Then I guess I’d have a tough choice to make.” Dolly teased.

Alex smiled at them. “I think I’ll leave you guys to discuss this.” He chuckled. “It was lovely meeting you Dolly.”

“You as well Alexander.” She smiled.

Alex was making his way back to John when he was approached by Thomas and a young girl who must’ve been his daughter. “Thomas, it’s nice to see you.”

“Hamilton, hey.” Thomas smiled. “This is my daughter Patsy, I told her tonight would probably be nothing but boring old people but she wanted to come anyway.”

Patsy rolled her eyes a bit. “Would you rather I went to the party that the Adams boys were throwing?” She asked her dad referring to John Adams’ teenage sons.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight.” Thomas said as a polite way of saying he certainly was glad that Patsy hadn’t gone to the Adams boys party; which was most likely a full on house party with a lot more alcohol than champagne and probably even other substances Thomas did not want his 14 year old around never mind thinking about doing.

“That’s what I thought.” Patsy chuckled a bit. “So you’re Alexander Hamilton then.” She turned her attention to Alex.

“That would be me.” Alex nodded.

“Not what I expected.” She admitted. “My dad used to come home ready to pull his hair out over your policies. Now he’s friends with you and switching political parties, then again, it was bound to happen, I mean, honestly, if he wants to be mayor or governor of New York there’s no way he could do it as a Republican, this is a Democratic state all the way.” Patsy said, showing off her smarts.

Alex chuckled a bit. “You’re certainly right about that.”

“Thank you, by the way, for pulling his head out of his ass and reminding him that I’m a teenager. Just because I don’t fill him in on all the gossip at school doesn’t mean he’s a bad parent. He was like, helicoptering for a while there and it sucked.” Patsy added.

“Patsy! Language! Also, rude.” Thomas said. “And why not tell me the school gossip? I wanna know that stuff too.” Thomas pouted a bit.

Patsy rolled her eyes. “Dad, you’re a gossip addict. You’re getting upset over missing out on high school gossip? Really?” Patsy turned to Alex. “See what I’m dealing with? It has gotten better now though, he was like, full on helicopter parent for a while.”

“Not what I think of when I think of your dad, but honestly? I can see that.” Alex admitted, nodding as he said it.

“He acts like a helicopter parent but sometimes I feel like I’m doing the parenting. The number of times he’s fallen asleep at his desk, or forgotten to eat or forgotten to go grocery shopping and I’ve had to remind him to go to bed, eat, or buy food.” Patsy shook her head.

“Wow, make me sound like a terrible father much?” Thomas asked.

She chuckled. “He is a good dad, sometimes he just has no idea what on earth he’s doing.”

“Sounds like your father.” Alex agreed. “Doesn’t know what he’s doing at work either half the time.”

“Rude.” Thomas said as John came over and wrapped an arm around Alex.

Alex smiled. “John, this is Thomas Jefferson and his daughter Patsy. Thomas, Patsy, this is my boyfriend John.” Alex introduced.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, and by the way, your boyfriend is being rude.” Thomas told John.

“I was just agreeing with what your daughter said about you.” Alex defended himself.

“They’re like children.” Patsy said to John.

John nodded in agreement. “Definitely.”

“We are not!” Alex and Thomas said in unison.

Patsy and John just looked at each other, before turning and staring at Thomas and Alex.

The group talked a bit more, before breaking apart.

“Patsy is so much like her father but also like, totally different.” Alex said to John.

“Her mother must’ve been a saint.” John mumbled.

“Definitely.” Alex agreed with a chuckle.

Alex and John found their way to where Eliza and Maria were, and once John was caught in conversation with them, Alex excused himself, claiming he was going to the restroom, when really he was headed to find Martha and then Angelica, as it was getting closer and closer to midnight.

“Alexander dear, what can I do for you?” Martha asked.

“I just wanted to double check that everything on the music end of things is good to go?” Alex asked.

Martha nodded. “The song is set to play right as midnight hits.”

“Perfect.” Alex checked the time. 11:47pm. 13 minutes away.

“Are you nervous?” Martha asked.

“I think I’d say excited more like.” Alex told her.

“Good. I think everyone who knows is too.” Martha smiled.

Alex nodded a bit.“Well Angelica has the goods so I gotta go find her.” He explained to Martha.

“I think I just saw her near the dining room table, talking with the Jeffersons.” Martha informed him.

Alex nodded. “Thank you.” He told Martha then headed to the dining room table where sure enough Angelica was talking with Patsy and Thomas. He waited until Angelica finished her sentence before speaking. “Hey, I need the thing.”

“Yes of course.” Angelica said. She walked around the table and grabbed her purse, which had been on the back of a chair, pulling out a black leather ring box and handing it to Alex discreetly so John couldn’t possibly see it, but Thomas and Patsy certainly did.

“Oh my god, is that what I think it is?” Patsy asked.

“It is, but keep your voice down, it’s a surprise.” Alex told her, raising a finger to his lips making the ‘quiet’ signal.

“Right, of course.” Patsy nodded. “That’s just, really exciting.” She admitted.

“I think so too.” Alex told her. He tucked the box into his pocket and found his way back to John, easing back into the conversation like he wasn’t about to do what he was about to do.

Soon everyone gathered in the living room, watching on TV as the live stream of the ball in Times Square was about to drop. Most people had glasses of champagne, John had sparkling cider, and Alex had a glass, but he had set it down while he waited.

“5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!” Everyone shouted, glasses clinked and people kissed their significant others, John turned to clink glasses and kiss Alex but he seemed to have disappeared, until John happened to look down and saw Alex on one knee with a ring box in his hand, then John noticed Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran was playing. Those who didn’t know this was planned now realized it was happening and were quiet, watching.

Once Alex saw he had John’s attention he began speaking. “John Laurens, I’ve been in love with you for 16 and a half years, and I had to spend 15 of those years without you. You are my everything and I would be nothing without you. I’m a better man because I have you and I don’t want to spend another second without you by my side. So with that said will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” Alex popped open the ring box. The ring was brushed black titanium with an embedded ring of gold going almost all the way around the ring, with small diamonds at each end of the gold strip, on the inside of the ring, which was also gold, was engraved the words ‘Love you forever’.

John had absentmindedly handed his glass to whoever it was that was next to him- paying so little attention as he did it that he could’ve dropped it and not noticed or cared- when he first noticed Alex on one knee. His hands pressed to his face out of shock while Alex spoke, as Alex finished he nodded quickly. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, I would very much like to marry you.” He told Alex, as a couple tears of joy escaped and he held out his hand for Alex to slide the ring on.

Alex smiled as he put the ring on John’s finger, it was a perfect fit. “Help me up so I can kiss you? I might fall over if I try on my own.” He admitted with a humorous tone.

John chuckled a bit and helped Alex up, pulling him into a kiss.

Alex wrapped his arms around John and kissed back happily. For years he had questioned if joining the military had been the right thing to do, but now he knew he made the right choice, because everything that happened by him joining the military led him to this amazing, perfect moment with the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP Y'ALL
> 
> This is the last chapter. Wow. Gotta say, I do be feeling some feels right now.
> 
> There is still an epilogue to come which will probably be posted some time tomorrow but as for the main story, this is the end of the line my friends. I wanna give a huge shout out to CharliP1989, LambsLams, Pyro_Psychotic, Dontjudgemeh, and maryliz for all commenting on this story multiple times! It was constant comments from y'all that kept me motivated to keep posting this story.
> 
> It still feels so crazy that I started writing this story on July 12 and I'll be completely finished it by September 4th, that's insane. Anyway, this is getting really drawn out now. If you're actually reading this, thank you so much for reading so far, it means so much to me and I love y'all


	53. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late! I know I said it would be up last night, but I ended up writing an extra 20 pages for the epilogue, and then didn't realize I had stuff to do today, so I apologize for that.
> 
> In future I might write and post some one shots or a story based around this story, but for now, this is it, so enjoy. This is a long epilogue, it's longer than the prologue for reference. About the length of 3 or so chapters so, yeah. 
> 
> TW: Mention of suicide, implied child abuse, talk of children being mistreated in the foster system, talk of the negative sides of the foster system, mentions of being underweight, mentions of severe anxiety, hearing loss (idk I feel like it could be upsetting for some?), description of a racially charged bullying incident, mention of cancer, mention of death

_ ~Two Years Later~ _

It was a beautiful mid October afternoon in NYC. The leaves on the trees in central park were mostly all red, orange, or yellow, however most of them had yet to fall. In a quiet, sort of secluded area of central park white, wooden folding chairs were set out as seating for an event, and soon those attending gathered.

The Mulligans, Lafayette, All the Schuyler girls; including Eliza’s own little family, the Washingtons, John’s sister Martha, her family, John’s brother James and his family, and John’s sister Mary and her fiance, were all in attendance. However George Washington didn’t take a seat, instead he stood in front of the chairs, facing those who were seated and Eliza and Angelica weren’t seated with everyone else.

Soon beautiful instrumental music began to play, and Eliza and Angelica walked down either side of the rows of seats, joining George near the front. They both carried small, neat bouquets, of white flowers and wore similarly colored, but differently styled dresses. Eliza had on a halter-top, maroon, floor length dress with a cinched waist. Angelica’s was quite similar, but instead of the halter-top neckline, it was a single shouldered style gown the exact same shade as Eliza’s dress.

Then Alex and John came into sight. Both were wearing new, matching tailored suits, obviously tailored by Hercules. The suits were black, and paired with white dress shirts, and maroon ties as well as pocket squares. John walked down the same side of the chairs to the front that Eliza had, and Alex walked down towards the front following Angelica’s path. Soon the two men met at the front, taking hands, looking at each other in front of George. Eliza was at John’s side, and Angelica at Alex’s, the two serving as maids of honor to the grooms.

“Good afternoon. We have all gathered here today to witness the union of Alexander Hamilton, and John Laurens. They have asked me to officiate the wedding, as I know both of them quite well, and have been in their lives for a long time.” George began speaking to the small crowd that was present for the wedding.

“I watched these two men begin to fall in love in the least likely of places. Surrounded by death everyday, they found solace in their feelings for each other. Unfortunately, as many of you know, just as their feelings came to light, they were stolen from each other. And yet 15 years later, they managed to receive the rare gift of a second chance. I watched these two fall in love a second time, and while they had a lot to navigate, I always knew this day would come. It’s with great pleasure that I officiate this wedding, because a love as true as that between these two men, is rarely seen, and should be celebrated and valued, which is something I think everyone here would agree with. Each of the grooms has prepared their own vows, which they will read to each other now, starting with Alexander.” George continued before handing the floor over to Alex.

Alex looked at John, smiling brightly while also trying not to cry. “I know I have a tendency to talk a lot, so I tried my best to keep this short and to the point. I love you more than words can describe, and you are my entire world John Laurens. You have my heart and will until the day we die. I want to love you as much as you deserve every single day, and I promise that I will never stop loving you. I might not be a perfect man, and probably never will be, but I promise that for the rest of my life, I will always come home to you at the end of the day, with a smile on my face, because you will never be able to make me feel anything but happy and loved.” Alex told John.

John smiled at Alex, trying to keep from tearing up.

“And now John will give his vows.” George stated.

“I can’t begin to explain how much Alex means to me. When I first met him, I had no idea how much I would come to love and care about him. I too, might not be perfect, but I’ll always love you, and for the rest of my life, I will do anything to make you happy. We’ve both faced so much sadness in our lives, and I’m sure we’ll face more, but I truly believe that now that we have each other, we can make it out of any storm. I don’t know what the future has in store for us, Alexander, but I do know that no matter what it is, I want to face it with you. I love you to the end of the universe and back, and I will until my dying breath.” John said, and looked at Alex, who smiled brightly at him with teary eyes.

“Lovely.” George commented. “It is with absolute certainty, that I say I know these boys will live up to their vows, because I’ve seen their love grow, and it’s a love that simply could never die. So it is with that said, that by the power vested in me, as the Mayor of this fine city of New York, I pronounce you two officially married. You may kiss the groom.”

John pulled Alex close, cupped his cheek, and kissed him softly and sweetly.

Alex rested a hand on John’s chest and happily kissed back. When the kiss broke Alex rested his forehead against John’s for a moment. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.” John whispered back, and kissed him again, before they left the ceremony area together.

Everyone then headed to a beautiful hall Alex and John had rented for the reception. They had an amazing dinner, cooked by a catering company owned by a familiar face.

When Rebecca had heard that Alex was getting married, she insisted on doing the catering for it for free. Alex tried to pay her for it, as her company was still fairly young, however she never had and never would cash the check he wrote.

After dinner and some dancing, most of the adults watched Mary, Philip, and William, as well as some of John’s younger nieces and nephews chased each other around the dance floor, playing gleefully under the colorful lights.

Alex and John wandered over to wear Eliza and Maria were seated and watching Philip from. “How’s the little one here doing?” John asked, referring to the baby in Maria’s arms, gently touching the small child’s forehead.

“Asleep. She was awake for the ceremony, and was fussy over dinner, but she got tired and I finally managed to get her asleep.” Maria told John.

Around a year- give or take a couple months- after Alex’s proposal, Eliza and Maria had come to Alex, and asked him to be a sperm donor for them, as they wanted to have a second kid. Alex had been surprised by the ask, but was happy to do it for them and about 4 months ago Eliza and Maria had welcomed baby Catherine into the world.

“That’s good.” Alex smiled a bit. He rested his head on John’s shoulder and looked at their friends.

Eliza looked at the time and sighed. “This has been an absolutely beautiful day, but I think we may have to go soon. We’d love to stay longer but the kids need to get to bed or we’ll have hell to pay in the morning.” She explained.

“You were here and that’s what mattered.” John reassured her.

It wasn’t long until Alex and John left the wedding themselves and soon John was leading Alex to the hotel room at an expensive hotel where they would spend their first night of their honeymoon, before flying elsewhere the next day. John had planned all of it and Alex was being surprised with everything. He only knew that John had spared no expense.

Suits were quickly shedded as they entered the hotel room, and a while later they were laying in bed naked, under the sheets, and holding each other, John gently playing with Alex’s hair. “I love you more than anything in this life, my dear husband.” John whispered to Alexander.

Alex smiled sleepily. “I love you too. Today was absolutely perfect, and I’m just, so grateful for it, and so in love with you. I can’t imagine it possibly having been any better.”

_ ~Three Years Later~ _

_ (5 since the proposal) _

A lot had changed over the three years. Washington’s term as mayor had ended, and he had decided against running for a second term, opting to retire so he could spend more time with Martha. The position of mayor was now held by James Madison, who had kept Alex on as budget manager. James was working on completely reforming the police system, focusing more on utilizing other resources to solve most issues, and changing how the few cops left in the city were trained, and how they did their job. It was still far from being perfect, but it got better with almost every single day that passed.

Lafayette had grown tired of the flopping between DC and NYC, so he left his position as French Ambassador and ended up getting appointed to run the US Citizenship and Immigration Services office in New York City, meaning he was NYC all the time, minus December when he was in France. He enjoyed the work he was doing, because having as much power as he did in his new position, he was able to make life increasingly easier for those trying to immigrate to New York, and work he was doing was even influencing other states to make the same changes.

Eliza had changed from working in the ER to working in the pediatric ward before Catherine came along, while Maria was still working as a social worker- a job that got easier and easier as funding to them increased yearly, and had gone up more as James Madison dismantled the old policing system. John, had been promoted to Chief of Trauma Surgery. His hours were now more stable too and he was in a better position to spread his knowledge and voice his concerns around the hospital, making changes that allowed the saving of more lives.

The only other significant change was in Alex and John’s house. They had begun fostering children, although so far, none had stuck. A couple ended up back with their biological parents, and one had decided that Brooklyn, among other aspects of Alex’s and John’s home, weren’t a good fit and the child had moved on. Alex and John hadn’t had a kid in a while, and they were okay with it, one would come when the time was right.

Alex and John were eating dinner one night when Alex’s phone began ringing with a call from Maria. Alex set his fork down and picked it up. “Hey Mars, what’s up?” He asked. At this time of evening, the call could honestly be about anything.

“Hey, I’m actually at work right now, this is more of a business call.” Maria told him, implying that it had something to do with them having a spot open to take in a foster kid.

Alex quickly put the phone on speaker so John could hear the conversation too. “You’re on speaker with me and John now.” Alex told her. “What’s this business call about?” He asked.

“I’ve got a kid here, a 12 year old girl named Frances who I’m trying to find a placement for and I think you two would be a good fit. I just got put on her case, and I thought of you two first. Are you willing to look at her file if I send it over?” Maria asked.

Alex looked at John, the look asking how John felt about this, while also indicating that Alex might like to do this or at least look at the kid’s file.

“Of course. Send it over, we’ll check it out now and call you back.” John told Maria.

“Great, thank you. Call me when you’ve made a decision. I just sent it, so it should be there any minute.” Maria told them.

The call ended and dinner was quickly abandoned, with plates being pushed away. Alex grabbed his laptop and returned to his seat at the dining room table. He opened his email, clicking on the email Maria had sent and looking over the contents of it with John, who was standing over his shoulder.

“Dad was out of the picture before she was born, and mom wasn’t physically or mentally fit to be handling a child, nor was she financially stable enough, causing Frances to switch between foster homes and her mother frequently. Mom took her own life while Frances was at school two weeks ago. Frances arrived home to find her mother’s body being taken away after a concerned neighbor called social services to do a wellness check. Frances was put into an emergency placement by the social worker working at her school. Case got transferred to Maria after the social worker from the school failed to check on Frances’ concerns with the emergency placement home, resulting in Frances finding her own way to Maria’s office to talk to someone about getting out of the emergency placement home.” John frowned as he read out loud.

“So she’s been in and out of foster homes before for most of her life, then comes home from school to find her mom committed suicide? Gets put in a really bad emergency placement home, left there, voices concerns about it and they get ignored and it’s so bad she went to Maria’s office for help? I thought I had dealt with a lotta shit by the time I was 12.” Alex shook his head at the thought.

“What do you think?” John looked at his husband.

“I think this kid needs a stable, loving home, and we’re in a position to provide that. And look, her school isn’t far from here, she wouldn’t have to transfer, she could walk or ride a bike to school. What about you? What do you think?” Alex asked.

“I think we gotta call Maria back and then be prepared to do a speed clean of the house.” John said to Alex, as his way of saying he wanted to take Frances in.

Alex smiled a bit. “You call Maria, and I’ll clean up from dinner? Should we maybe reheat some for when Frances gets here?” Alex asked. “I mean, it’s Tuesday, so the kid probably went to school and then to Maria’s office after, who knows when she last ate anything?”

John nodded. “Good idea. I’ll call Maria and then get the bedroom ready for her.”

“I’ll take care of the kitchen and the bathroom.” Alex told John.

Soon Alex and John were finishing up their fast tidy as the doorbell rang.

Alex looked at John as John finished making the bed in the room they had designated as the one for foster kids. “Ready for this?” Alex asked and started to walk to the stairs to go down and get the door.

“As I’ll ever be.” John nodded and followed Alex to the front door.

Alex pulled the door open. Standing next to Maria was Frances. Frances was definitely on the taller side for 12 years old, she had a skin tone similar to John’s, and enough freckles to rival John. Her hair was fairly long and straight, pulled back in a ponytail, and the same dark color as both Alex’s and John’s. Her eyes were bright green with a fire behind them, however it looked as though perhaps the fire had been neglected, and she looked as though she had been crying. Her clothes didn’t quite fit her right, and she was fairly thin-perhaps too thin for a growing kid her age and height-, and she seemed nervous, like she would spook easily. She gripped the straps of the backpack she had on as if Alex or John were going to steal it. Alex and John had never received a foster kid that looked so scared. It broke Alex’s heart a bit, but he knew that by taking her in, him and John could help fix those things. “Hello guys, why not step inside?” Alex held the door open wider.

Maria ushered Frances in first, then entered behind her. “Frances, this is Alexander or Alex,” She pointed at Alex. “And his husband John,” She pointed at John. “They are very good friends of mine and I think they will be a far better fit than any of the homes your previous social worker put you in. As I’m sure you can tell, we’re close to your school, they’re very kind and accommodating. John is the Chief of trauma surgery at a hospital not far from here, and Alex works in the mayor’s office. And they’re both Puerto Rican, like you are.” Maria told Frances. “Alex, John, this is Frances.” Maria then looked at them.

“Hi.” Frances barely spoke above a whisper. She held her head upright, but didn’t make eye contact with Alex or John.

“Hello.” Alex smiled warmly at her.

“It’s nice to meet you.” John told Frances. “Are you hungry at all? We have some pasta, chicken, and salad if you’d like.” He offered.

Frances looked at Maria, as if to ask for permission.

Maria gave her a small reassuring nod. “It’s alright.”

Frances gulped and nodded a bit. “Okay.”

John smiled a bit. “Wonderful, let’s go get you some food.”

Soon Maria left and Frances had finished eating, and had been given a tour of the house. Alex, John, and Frances then sat down in the formal living room to talk. Alex and John sat on one couch, and Frances elected to sit opposite of them on the other couch.

“Alright, me and John are pretty relaxed about house rules I think, but there’s still a couple to go over.” Alex explained.

Frances nodded slightly. She’d been fairly quiet since Maria had left, mostly giving one-word answers to anything she was asked.

“The biggest and most important one is that you’re in charge of what happens here.” John told Frances.

Frances looked a little confused, like she’d been expecting some other kind of rules.

“What John means by that is, if you want to talk to us about what’s happened with your mom, or in other foster homes, that’s up to you. You get to decide if our home is a good fit for you. You call us what you’re most comfortable with. We don’t want to set any kind of firm rules or do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?” Alex asked.

Frances nodded a bit.

“We also want you to be able to tell us anything. If you never want to talk about your mother, that’s fine, but it’s also fine if you want to tell us everything about her, or anything between those two extremes. You don’t need to be afraid to talk to us about things. We’ll always be here to listen, and there’s nothing you can say that will shock us or make us send you away.” John continued with the second item on the list of ‘rules’.

“N- nothing?” Frances asked.

“Nothing. We’ve both been through a lot of stuff in our lives, nothing you say will phase us.” Alex told her.

“And the last really important thing, is that you’re allowed to ask us anything, and ask for anything. If there’s a kind of food you like, we’re happy to get it for you. If you want some new school supplies or clothes, or shoes, or whatever, we’d be happy to get stuff for you. If you want to ask us questions about why we foster, who we are as people, what we’ve been through, we’ll answer them to the best of our ability.” John explained.

“And that’s it for big important rules.” Alex told Frances.

“W- what about chores? Or bed times? Or what about punishments if I-” Frances began to ask.

“Hey whoa, slow down there cowboy.” John stopped her.

“I don’t know what you’ve faced in other homes, but in this house, there is very little you could do to earn any kind of punishment. As for chores, me and John mostly clean things as we go, and then on Sundays we clean the house together, and if you want to join us, you can, but we won’t force you. All we ask is that you clean as you go too, so like putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher, for example, and do your own laundry because you would know far better than we would how your clothes need to be cleaned, and we don’t want to violate your privacy by going into your room to collect what needs washing.” Alex told Frances.

Frances was quiet for a moment. “What about bedtime?”

“When do your classes start in the morning?” Alex asked.

“N- nine? But I like to be at school at 8:30 so I can see my friends and not rush to get my books.” Frances seemed nervous as she said it, and spoke quietly.

“Alright, and now long do you need to get ready in the morning usually?” John asked her.

“About an hour? But I can be a lot quicker if I need to.” Frances spoke as though she was worried Alex and John would think an hour was too long.

“Alright. We don’t want to try and enforce a strict bedtime, so how about you’re in your room for the night, winding down by 9:30? You can figure out how long you want to unwind and we’ll leave it to judge when you need to actually go to sleep. And you can stay up longer on non-school nights.” John told her.

“R- really?” Frances asked.

“We’ve found that in most cases, foster kids like having control over things like that. Being in foster care is scary and you feel like you’re in charge of so little of your life, so it helps to have control over things, even if they’re small ones, like what time they go to bed.” Alex explained.

“See with some parents, you need to earn trust if you want to be trusted, but with us, we trust from the start, and continue to trust so long as you don’t do something to break out trust.” John added.

“Hence, why we trust you to judge for yourself when to go to bed.” Alex finished.

Frances was quiet for a moment, looking down at her lap, not making eye contact with Alex or John. “Why did you decide to foster kids?” She asked.

“Well, we both wanted kids, but obviously we can’t have our own like a straight couple could, and I know that the system is scary, and broken, and we wanted to be able to help kids feel less scared. We choose to open our home to kids like you who are down on their luck and we want to give them a break.” John told her.

“I lost my mom when I was your age and I fought tooth and nail to stay out of the system because I knew it could be bad. I wanted our home to be the kind of home that foster kids actually deserve. A diamond in the rough if you will.” Alex explained to Frances.

Frances was quiet again. “I’ve been in some really bad homes.” She admitted, voice still fairly low. “And I wasn’t better off with my mom either. She tried but she had a lot of health problems and didn’t really know how to be a mom.” She paused. “But you guys seem really nice.” She told them after a moment.

Alex smiled softly. “I’m glad you think so.”

Frances seemed to be thinking again. “You said I could ask for anything?” She asked.

“Anything.” John confirmed.

“Can I keep playing softball? My friend’s mom paid the fees for me, and my mom didn’t care, but some foster homes wouldn’t let me go to games or practices. Most of them said it was too inconvenient to get me to and from games.” Frances explained.

John smiled brightly. “Of course you can keep playing softball.” He told Frances.

Upon hearing that, for the first time since she’d arrived at Alex and John’s house, Frances smiled.

_ ~2 Years Later~ _

_ (7 since the proposal) _

“Dads! I’m home!” Frances called out as she came in the front door of the house and kicked her shoes off.

Frances had changed a lot since she first came to Alex and John’s house. She was outgoing and happy now, a drastic comparison from when she first came to them. When she had first come to them, she was underweight and dealing with a lot of bad anxiety due to what she’d been through, but Alex and John got her the help she needed. She had gained weight and even bulked up a bit muscle wise, often working out with John, and her anxiety was a lot better now. She was still playing softball, and John now helped coach her team on occasion. She also started to play basketball on her school team, which was why she was home later than Alex and John. Frances had made fast friends with Philip and Mary, as her birthday fell right in between theirs and they were all in the same grade at school.

At first, she had been a little unsure of Alex’s and John’s house, as though she was waiting for their kindness to fade, but as time passed and they continued to be nothing but kind, caring, and accommodating of her, she opened up to them. And once she did it didn’t take long for her to be close with Alex and John.

Not much had changed for Alex or John, except Alex was now working under the newly elected Thomas Jefferson as mayor, rather than James Madison, who was now serving as the governor of New York.

“We’re in our room!” Alex called out.

Frances went to the stairs but came no further, as she could tell by how clearly Alex’s voice came out that the door was open. “With or without clothes?” She asked, mostly as a joke.

“Fully clothed!” John called out, one could practically hear the eye roll he gave.

Frances climbed the stairs and headed to Alex and John’s room, the door was wide open so she walked in and flopped down on their bed, which was a fairly common occurrence. For a while she had been sort of picky about personal space and such, but now, things were a lot more chill. They had set up a simple system, door wide open meant come on in, door closed but not tightly meant knock quick before entering, and door shut tightly meant knock and wait for a response before entering. Frances no longer worried or cared if say Alex or John came into her room and sat on the edge of her bed, and she was comfortable being in their room, on their bed too.

“That tired from basketball practice?” John asked with a chuckle upon watching her flop on the bed. John was sitting on the edge of the bed while Alex leaned against their dresser.

“More like sore.” Frances told John. She looked at her dads. “Did I interrupt something?” She frowned, as it seemed they had been in the middle of a conversation.

“Not exactly. We  _ were _ discussing something, but really we’d gotten to a point where there was only so much more we could discuss without you present, so your timing was perfect.” Alex explained.

Frances paled a little, she sat up and nodded a bit, worried about what this might be. “What were you talking about?” She asked quietly.

Alex came over and joined John and Frances on the bed, sitting so that Frances was between Alex and John. “Nothing bad, relax, mi querido.” Alex told her softly, calling her ‘my dear’ in Spanish and gently rubbing Frances’ shoulder as he had picked up on her anxiety that flared up when she heard that.

Alex and Frances often spoke Spanish to each other. Frances’ mom had been bilingual and Frances had managed to actually learn it, and speak it fairly fluently. Sometimes it was so they could joke about John without him knowing what was being said, or sometimes just to make John wonder if they were. It was their sort of thing, and almost anytime Alex called Frances a term of endearment it was in Spanish.

“Me and your dad were wondering how you would feel about adoption.” John told her.

Frances seemed surprised. “Adoption?”

“Well, I mean, we’re technically still fostering you, you know. And if you want to keep it that way that’s fine, but you’ve been here with us for just under 2 years now, and it certainly doesn’t even feel like we’re fostering you anymore and we were wondering if you maybe wanted to make this a permanent thing.” Alex explained.

“You already are our daughter, and you will be no matter what you decide on, and we still love you-” John started but was cut off.

“Yes. Please. I’d really like that. I love you guys and I don’t ever wanna leave.” Frances told her dads, tearing up a bit.

“Then you never will.” John promised as he pulled her close and hugged her.

“We’ll start on the paperwork first thing tomorrow, or I guess whenever Maria works next. You’re our daughter and I'm really happy you’re allowing us to make that permanent. I really think that you were always meant to be our daughter, and we’re so lucky to have found you, Frances.” Alex told her and joined the hug.

The three stayed like that for a while, just hugging, not saying much. “Hey dads?” Frances asked after a moment.

“Yes, mi encantadora?” Alex asked, calling her ‘my lovely’.

“Well, I- I feel like it’s a good time to tell you this, just because we’re all here, having like a whole serious conversation kinda thing going on already. Um, I’m kinda nervous and I know that I really don’t need to be but I just still am. Wow, okay.” Frances was trying to psych herself up to tell them what she was trying to tell them.

“There’s nothing you can tell us that will make us love you any less, Frances, some things would be, disappointing, but we’ll never love you any less.” John reassured her.

“I know, I know. I just, haven’t told anyone else this before so like, this is the first time I’m putting it out there, making it like, legit, ya know? Once I say it out loud it’s out there, it’s a thing, it’s- it’s real.” She explained.

“Of course, take your time.” Alex told her. “We’re in no rush.”

Frances took a deep breath. “Well uh, let’s just say um that there are no straight people in this room? I think I happen to be very gay, and I have a crush, on a girl.” She told them quietly.

“Our baby’s first crush!” John exclaimed to Alex.

“Of course we accept you, I think that’s a given.” Alex chuckled a bit. “Do you want us to make a big deal of this, or just keep it lowkey?” Alex asked.

“Maybe like, lowkey, but like, could I maybe get a pride flag for my room?” Frances asked.

“Of course! Which one do you want?” John asked, pulling out his phone and opening it.

“Uh the lesbian one? With the pink and orange?” Frances bit her lip as she said it.

John went quiet for a moment while doing something on his phone. “Ordered it. Should be here by Friday.” John told her.

Frances smiled a bit. “I love you guys.” She told her dads.

“We love you too.” Alex hugged her again.

“So so much.” John added, joining the hug.

Because Alex and John had been fostering Frances so long, and obviously were in a good financial position to care for her, combined with the fact that she expressed keen interest in being adopted by Alex and John, it didn’t take long for the adoption to become finalized, although it didn’t change much. They had been a family before the adoption, but now they had a piece of paper proving it, and Frances’ last name was now legally Hamilton-Laurens- the same as her dad’s legal names, despite them usually just going by their old names- at her request.

“So Frances, how does it feel to officially be adopted?” Maria asked over dinner. The Schuylers and the Hamilton-Laurenses were having dinner together.

“I mean, nothing really changed. Alex and John were my dads before the judge declared it and they are now. Although I do have a very white last name now.” Frances glared at her dads.

“Blame our fathers.” Alex and John said in unison.

“I’m just teasing. I like being Frances Hamilton-Laurens.” Frances told her dads.

“Mr Bykewich isn’t gonna recognize you on Monday during attendance.” Philip told Frances.

“Bykewich? That’s your English teacher, right?” Eliza asked.

Philip nodded. “He calls everyone by their last name.”

“Well I’m happy with the name change and the adoption. I love my dads.” Frances smiled at Alex and John.

“And we love you.” Alex smiled at his daughter.

“With all our hearts.” John smiled as well.

_ ~Three Years Later~ _

_ (10 since the proposal) _

Thanksgivingmas was being hosted at the Hamilton-Laurens house again, and like most years, it was a potluck with everyone bringing a dish or two. No one had quite arrived yet, but they would be arriving soon. Thanksgivingmas had grown in size with Catherine, and Frances coming along, but also because Alex had become closer friends with Thomas Jefferson, who also had become good friends with Angelica and Lafayette as well, meaning Thomas and Patsy now also attended the celebration. Almost everything else was the exact same though.

Frances had grown yet more, and was still playing softball and basketball. She was 5’9, with a fair amount of muscle for a kid her age. She had had her ear-lobes pierced when she first came to Alex and John, and she now also had a nose ring, two more sets of ear lobe piercings, and helix piercing. She still had her freckles and looked quite similar to John, with strangers often assuming she was his biological kid, although that obviously wasn’t the case. Her hair was still fairly long, minus the undercut at the back of her head. She usually wore her hair in a messy bun on top of her head, and often dressed like most male-jocks her age, with basketball shorts, and joggers, as well as basic t-shirts, flannel shirts, and sports jerseys as well as hoodies making up most of her wardrobe, although she did dress up nicely on occasion. She ate enough to rival 17 year old boys or perhaps chronic stoners, and herself admitted that she was  _ that _ stereotypical lesbian joke type.

Frances was in her room waiting for people to arrive when she suddenly came out of her room and downstairs. “The Mulligan’s are here.” She told her dads. John was checking on the turkey and Alex was placing a couple last minute gifts under the tree.

“Thank you Frances.” Alex smiled and went over to the door, welcoming them in. “Hercules, Liz, how lovely to see you.” Alex smiled pleasantly, trying to be a nice host.

“Yes Alex I brought the homemade pierogies.” Liz told him, seeing right through his pretend hospitality. Liz was a pierogi master, who learned from her grandmother, an immigrant from Poland, and Alex couldn’t ever get enough of Liz’s pierogies. He’d loved them since the first Thanksgivingmas he’d had them.

“Oh thank god.” Alex chuckled. “It wouldn’t be Thanksgivingmas without them.”

“You sound like my grandmother.” Liz shook her head as she took her shoes off.

As Mary, who was now 17, just like Frances, entered the house and took her shoes off. Her and Frances then tried to sneak off to Frances’ room without being noticed.

Mary had topped out at about 5’4, taking after her mom height-wise, much to her dismay. She was also fit, but didn’t work out or have the amount of muscle Frances did. She kept her hair just a little below shoulder length and usually wore it down. She wore glasses now, though her eyesight was still pretty good, and she figured she looked better with the glasses anyway. She too wore a lot of flannels, although usually they were paired with jeans and some kind of graphic t-shirt. Mary was very into photography now, and was planning to pursue a career of some type wherein she would be working behind a camera.

“Keep it PG up there please!” John called out from the kitchen, catching them before they could get away.

“If you wouldn’t want to talk to grandpa George about it, don’t do it!” Hercules added, signing as he spoke. 

He still had hearing, but 10 years' time had taken it’s toll, especially when his hearing had already been reduced so much by his service. Him, Liz, and the kids, often signed when talking to each other even though he could still hear, partially because the hearing was reduced and partially because they knew that, unfortunately, there might come a time when Hercules would lose all hearing, and signing now would make it easier if it did. Some of their friends had even begun to pick up signing too, Alex and John along with Frances, were mostly fluent in ASL, and the rest of the group had varying degrees of signing-capabilities.

“Pops!” Frances groaned, embarrassed. Her and Mary had been going out for over a year after Mary kissed Frances in order to piss off her ex. Frances- who’d lowkey had a crush on Mary for  _ years _ \- had been surprised at the kiss, and assumed it had been a friend thing, but a couple days after the kiss, they talked about it and both agreed that they wanted to kiss again, and be more than just friends, and had been dating ever since.

“Dad.” Mary hissed at the same time Frances groaned at her dad, signing as she spoke.

“I know I’m so terrible.” John said sarcastically. 

“We’re the worst.” Hercules agreed with a chuckle as he took Liz’s coat and hung up with his own.

The girls disappeared regardless, but both girls’ parents knew they would keep things PG.

“How’s it hanging William?” John asked as he left the kitchen and came over to the entryway to properly greet everyone else.

William, who was 14 now, had gotten his father’s height, and was still growing, already 3 inches taller than his older sister at 5’7. He wasn’t as broad-shouldered as his dad, but he was working on building some muscle up. His hair was shoulder length now and he wore it in dreads. He had gotten into cooking, often cooking with his mom, and was considering pursuing a career in the culinary world. It was a good thing he liked cooking too, because he probably wasn’t too far off from how much Frances typically ate in a day.

William and Mary were fairly close siblings so in times like these, when Mary ran off to spend time with Frances, it left William alone. It’s not that he wanted to be included in whatever was happening in Frances’ room, but he didn’t like being the only teenager in a room of 4 adults either. “It’s not too bad.” He shrugged.

“Philip should be here soon, if that helps.” John offered, knowing the poor kid was feeling left out.

William nodded and wandered off to go snack on some of the chips, cut up veggies, and other such things John had set out for people to munch on before dinner.

John sighed a little. “I tried, right?” He asked Hercules, signing as he spoke.

“He’ll be okay. He’s just bummed right now because of some stuff with school.” Hercules explained.

“Everything alright?” John continued to sign while talking.

“Will be by Monday morning when I march in there and demand they fix it.” Liz stated, she sounded somewhat angry.

“Mind if I ask what’s going on?” Alex asked, also signing.

“Some kid was making fun of his dreads and tried to cut them and the ancient old white dinosaur of a teacher didn’t see an issue with it. Luckily William was able to get the kid off him and far enough away that he couldn’t actually do it but damn I am mad.” Liz shook her head in anger.

“Yeah that’s the one problem with living in a well-off area is our kids are at a predominantly white school.” Alex shook his head too. “If the school tries to back the teacher up, give me a call, I’ll come in there and threaten a lawsuit, or better yet, threaten to cut their funding for their precious sports teams. If our fellow sports teams parents heard funding was at risk for something the principal did there would be a riot on their hands. Some of the parents of the kids on Frances’ basketball team are insane.” Alex told Liz.

“Do you have the power to actually do that?” Liz asked.

“Probably not, but they don’t know that.” Alex pointed out.

“The things we do for our kids.” Hercules chuckled a bit. “Speaking of people with kids.” He said as he looked out the window and opened the door that he was still standing near to let Eliza, Maria, Philip, and Catherine- or as she preferred Cas, which was her initials- into the house.

Philip was 16, though he would be turning 17 in about two months. He was around 5’8, and looked very similar to John. Some people mistook him and Frances for biological siblings sometimes, and they were close enough that they may as well have been. Philip had John’s tan skin, and some freckles but they were far less, and he had the same dark hair both John and Eliza did, and it was curly like John’s. He also was very outspoken like his dad, but had his mom’s kindness and gentleness to keep him from inheriting John’s recklessness. Philip kept his hair longer too, and often wore it in buns or neat braids. 

He was still into art, although his art had drastically evolved since when he was a little kid. He had also gotten into poetry quite a bit, and often blew his mother’s away, with them legitimately mistaking their son’s work for that of famous, award winning poets. When Philip had gotten older, around 11 or 12, he’d begun wondering about who his dad was, and by 13 he figured it out himself without having even asked his moms. It hadn’t changed his relationship with his moms, which Maria had secretly feared for a long time. However Philip would on occasion go to John for things a teenage boy would go to a father about, with his mother’s blessing of course, and John never minded it.

Cas, who was 9, looked like a perfect mix of her mom; Maria, and Alex. Her skin tone was closer to Alex’s pale one, though she had Maria’s curly hair. Her eyes were a warm brown and she was average height for a 9 year old. She was still a little young to fall into any specific niche, and mostly just enjoyed doing what her brother and their ‘cousins’ were doing so long as she actually got to be included.

“Hello everyone!” Eliza smiled as she came inside after ushering the kids in first.

“Our favourite lesbians.” Alex greeted.

“I thought we were your favourite lesbians.” Frances frowned as she came downstairs with Mary, the two of whom had switched flannels, which was something they did often, and it was so bad Alex and John didn’t know what was actually Frances’ and what was Mary’s anymore.

“We can have many favourite lesbians.” Alex said in his defense.

“I am surrounded by lesbians everywhere I go, kinda makes it shocking that I turned out gay. If it’s not Mary and Frances at school it's mama and mom at home.” Philip shook his head.

“Alright instead of standing around the doorway why don’t we all move inside.” John suggested.

Everyone shifted into the living room. The teenagers and Cas all took off downstairs to play monopoly.

It wasn’t much longer before Angelica arrived. Peggy wasn’t able to make it, as she was on the other side of the world doing her mission work.

“Hey everyone!” Angelica smiled as she entered the house. She hung her jacket up and kicked her shoes off. “Hey kids!” She called downstairs before joining the adults. “Peggy sends her love by the way.” Angelica told everyone as she sat down on the couch in the living room with the adults.

“Where was she right now again?” Liz asked, looking over at Angelica.

“Somewhere in southern America, the group she’s working with keeps moving around so they could be in the same country as two weeks ago, they could be on the other side of the continent by now.” Angelica explained.

“Well, send her our love in return.” Alex told her.

“So I take it we’re just waiting for the Jeffersons, the Washingtons, and Lafayette?” Angelica asked.

“Yeah. Thomas texted a little while ago actually and I never checked it.” Alex pulled his phone out to do so. “He says he was just grabbing Patsy from school and he’d be here soon.” Alex explained and tucked his phone away.

“She’s at NYU right?” Hercules asked.

“Yep, studying medicine and acing it.” John smiled a bit.

“Gee I wonder why.” Maria teased. John had been helping Patsy and even had let her shadow him a few times at work.

“I have nothing to do with her success, I merely told her that if she ever needs help my door is open. But she’s a natural all on her own.” John explained.

Soon the doorbell rang, Alex answered it.

It was Thomas, Patsy, and Lafayette. “Look who we found.” Thomas referred to Laf. “I don’t know why he took the subway instead of driving.” Thomas shook his head and turned back to Lafayette. “You’re lucky we found you, it’s cold as balls outside, you would’ve frozen your ass off walking here from the subway station.” Thomas told Lafayette.

Patsy was 24 now, and was in her second year of medical school. She had taken a similar path to John schooling wise, getting a biochem degree, then enrolling in medical school.

“Traffic between here and my apartment was a mess! I didn’t want to be late.” Lafayette defended himself.

Alex chuckled. “Come inside all of y’all.” He stepped out of the way so they could enter the house.

“I think you have been hanging out with Thomas too much Alexander, he is rubbing off on you.” Lafayette told Alex, referring to Alex’s use of the word ‘y’all’.

“Non he is not!” Alex quickly switched his speech, picking up just the slightest french accent. “I simply adapt my speech to suit who I’m talking to best. Thomas and James Madison get southern talk, so do John’s siblings-minus Mary-, Lafayette gets french me, George Washington gets respectful me, Hercules gets regular talk me with a side of sign language, Frances gets Spanish me, John gets mushy whatever I feel like me, and the kids get the cringiest things I can possibly muster.” Alex explained as he returned to his seat on the couch next to John.

“It’s true. The other day he walked into Frances’ room while Mary and Philip were over and asked them if they were quote ‘making the Tik Toks’, just to annoy them.” John explained.

“Is Tik Tok still even relevant?” Eliza asked.

“No it is not, there’s still artifact of it in today’s meme culture, some of the dance moves are done ironically, and some of the jokes have morphed into newer, far more complex jokes, but very few people, if any, use the app anymore.” Patsy explained, sounding like she was narrating a documentary.

“That was very said professionally.” Lafayette observed as he took his shoes and coat off.

“Was it? I basically have no idea what I’m saying at this point. I barely slept this week because I'm studying for finals so I’m just running on coffee and energy drinks.” Patsy admitted with a sigh as she hung her coat up.

“If you need help studying just let me know.” John told her.

“And if you need help finding creative ways to stay awake, let me know, I technically majored in political science and minored in English, but really, I majored in getting zero sleep and still being able to function.” Alex explained.

“Not even surprised by that.” Angelica shook her head. “Patsy do not take him up on that.”

“Thank you guys.” Patsy smiled and chuckled. “I’m okay.”

“Patsy dear do please try and find some time to sleep? Your studying won’t do you any good if you’re too tired to recall what you’re studying.” Thomas asked. “And Hamilton please do not encourage her.”

“Don’t worry dad, I’ll get some sleep.” Patsy promised.

“What kind of medicine are you thinking of going into Patsy?” Eliza asked.

“I wanna go into medical research. My mom died of cervical cancer when I was 10 and it sucked, I wanna find better treatment options or ideally a cure.” Patsy explained.

“I’m sorry about your mom, but, I’m sure with a mind like yours on the case you’ll help lots of women.” Eliza smiled softly.

“Thank you. I think I’m gonna head downstairs, referee that game of monopoly and maybe pass out on the couch for a couple minutes.” Patsy chuckled a bit.

“Alright.” Alex smiled at her.

Patsy disappeared downstairs, while Thomas and Lafayette came and joined the adults in the living room. 

“I can’t believe she’s half way through med school.” Thomas shook his head and sighed.

“No?” Liz asked.

“Nope. It feels like just yesterday I was at the hospital getting handed this tiny pink bundle, now she’s 24 years old and I’m like, 15 seconds away from being considered a senior citizen.” Thomas sighed more.

“You think you’re 15 seconds away from being a senior citizen?” Hercules chuckled sarcastically. “You’re literally one of the youngest people here minus the kids. You’re like what, 47? I’m 10 years older than you, and already have hearing bad enough to rival actual senior citizens.” 

“We’re so old, dieu merci we are black and do not age so rapidly. The day I look as old as I feel is the day I die.” Lafayette said dramatically.

“You’re never gonna stop being a dramatic little shit, are you?” John teased.

“I most certainly am not.” Laf smiled.

Soon George and Martha arrived and it was time to eat. 16 people at the table was squishy, especially when most of them were adults, so the kids usually ate in the living room and the adults at the table.

“So Thomas, how are things going politically with your and James’ plan?” Lafayette asked.

“Not as we’d hoped unfortunately. He’s not pulling high enough polling numbers to get elected president, so he’s dropping out of the race. He’s been talking with the democratic candidate with the best numbers and they’ve hit it off well. James is gonna drop out and he’ll be named running mate for this guy. I did some research and if I were to run right now it’s highly likely I could get elected governor, so it’s not like things are being thrown off course completely, we’re just taking a 4-8 year detour. I’ll be announcing my candidacy for governor in the new year.” Thomas explained.

“You have our votes.” Angelica smiled.

“I guess that’s a good segway for this then. Now that I know you’re not gonna be running for mayoral reelection, I’ll have to start planning my own announcement for a candidacy.” Alex told the group.

“You’re gonna go for mayor?” George asked, sounding surprised to hear it.

“Yep. I’ve seen the changes I was able to make just as budget manager over these last 11 years and I’ve been thinking about how much more change I could make as mayor, and I fit all the requirements.” Alex told them.

“You’ll have our votes, Alexander.” Martha smiled warmly. “I’m sure you’ll do wonderful things as mayor.”

“Thank you, Martha.” Alex paused and quickly wiped a tear away.

The kids were listening from the living room. “Oh shit your dad is crying, isn’t he?” Mary mumbled to Frances.

“He’s probably about to give a speech. Pop has gotta be a saint for putting up with years of this stuff. I love my dad but like, listen to angsty music or go for a 2am bike ride to deal with your feelings like a normal person.” Frances chuckled.

Unaware of the kids’ conversation Alex looked around the table at his friends that were basically family. “I’m sorry. It’s just taken a lot to get to where I am and I just, I never thought I’d be here.” He started.

“Called it.” Frances whispered.

“I have a beautiful house and a loving husband and an amazing daughter and a house full of family and friends, and I’m so close to being able to make real honest to good change and I just, your support means a lot to me.” Alex explained.

“You’ll always have our support.” Angelica smiled.

“Always.” Liz agreed.

“Alex, in your first like, 6 months of being budget manager you changed my life for the better, there’s no doubt you’ll do amazing things in office.” Maria added.

“Alright, enough sappy shit, if everyone is done eating, I believe that there is a living room full of children excited to open gifts.” Alex said.

And the night continued on, with gifts being exchanged and everyone enjoying spending time together, as always, everyone got a little spoiled and everyone was happy with each other’s company. No matter what life threw at them they stuck together through thick and thin, and it was moments like these that solidified the feelings that no matter what might happen, they’d always be there for each other, every single time.`

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, that's all she wrote.


End file.
